


Fuckboys, You Might Wanna Sit Down For This.

by Postlikeme



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE STARS, Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Alternate Universe - College/University, Banter, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, College AU, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, FUCK, First Meetings, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Hanamaki Takahiro is a Little Shit, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Humor, Im obsessed, Kuroo Issei and Bo are FUCKBOYS, M/M, MAYBE BITCH, Matsukawa Issei in Love, Mature Audiences Only, Maybe - Freeform, My new story, One-Sided Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Pining Bokuto Koutarou, Pining Kuroo Tetsurou, Pining Matsukawa Issei, Protective Kuroo Tetsurou, The fuckboys are SCREWED, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust, bo is a nice one though, but then they meet the PRETTY BOYS & they're like wait, fuckboy karma, fuckboy turned SIMP, kenma Akaashi and Makki did nothing, these boys are shook from LOOKS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:27:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 130,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27076480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Postlikeme/pseuds/Postlikeme
Summary: Meet Kuroo, Bokuto & Mattsun: a tall, fit, and devastatingly handsome trio of friends that are THE ultimate playboys at their College. It’s hard not to fall for them, and they know it, constantly breaking heart after heart without so much as an I’m sorry. They are used to sex on demand, all the hotties wanting them, plus they’re athletes...meaning they are truly living their best lives.It’s not like anyone will throw a wrench in their plans or anything...Cue the entrance of Kenma, Akaashi & Hanamaki: otherwise known as[that]“wrench in their plans.”This trio of Freshmen absolutely take the player-trio by storm caused by their beauty, banter, and well, butts (they have really nice asses).Ever wonder how easy it will be for a fuckboy trio to get the boy they desire, when:1 has sworn off men, 1 positively hates the fuckboy trio for hurting someone dear to them, and 1 is in a very happy relationship!?Will they win them over, or is Karma real?Good luck, boys. *grabs popcorn* Oh, and to all the Fuckboys reading this?Yeah, you’re gonna wanna sit down for this one.-The College AU that I asked MYSELF for, aight!? Roll the cameras, deadass.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hanamaki Takahiro/Hirugami Sachirou, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 315
Kudos: 420





	1. PILOT EPISODE

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively Titled: _Destroyers of Fuckboys_
> 
>  **Summary:** Meet Mattsun, Bokuto, and Kuroo. Three best friends, three little shits, and just three fuckboys who are easily reduced to putty by the hottest and most intriguing boys they’ve ever met in their lives. 
> 
> **  
> _Chapter One_  
> **

**PILOT**

* * *

On a sunny Sunday afternoon, two of Japan’s best Fuckboys Bokuto and Kuroo find themselves walking down the streets of downtown Tokyo, bustling and laughing about their latest sexual conquests.

The two are only slightly aware of the horny stares they get from men and women alike, who are a little awestruck from seeing two tall and handsome men so enthralled with life. 

These boys **_LOVED_ **their lives. 

“So did you end up fucking him, or his girlfriend?” Bo asked the raven haired middle blocker.

“Threes a party.” Answered Kuroo calmly, trying to wipe off the shit eating grin that crept up on his face.

Bokuto howled. “NOOOOO WAYYYYYY.”

“Quiet! Dude, it’s not my fault that they couldn’t decide!”

“You’re a legend, bro,” Bo complimented, bringing down his volume only slightly. Just as they turned the corner on the busy Japanese street toward the restaurant strip, both of their phones pinged from an incoming message.

Like a competitive toddler, Bokuto scurried to get his phone out first. “It’s from Matsun,” he read.

Kuroo sighed. “Shit. He’s gonna kill us. Tell him we’re like, 5 minutes away. I promised him we wouldn’t be late again,”

Bokuto typed quickly and then slipped his phone away, giving his friend a brilliant smile.

“It’s fine! Issei should know by now that we’re going to be late. This happens every Sunday since school started back. It’s not our fault that his parents wouldn’t let him room with us this year,”

“Actually........” Kuroo drew out the syllables in the word and squinted one eye, cringing. “ _It kind of is_. I mean, you really shouldn’t have posted that collage video of him making out with half the baseball team at the same party on your Facebook, a platform of which you have his parents as friends.” Kuroo paused to shake his head, “We’re lucky all his parents did was transfer his dorm, they could have transferred him to a whole other University if they wanted to.” Kuroo’s voice saddened to the thought, unable to imagine his College life without a third of his heart.

Guiltily, Kotaro thought about the same thing, but instead of being sad, he stopped walking altogether to stomp his foot, obviously having a mini tantrum. “Hey! I was wishing my best friend happy birthday, adding the most awesome video ever that took me hours to get some dude to edit! Is that so bad?! “

Kuroo continued walking, knowing not to play into his grey haired friend’s hand when he got like this. “To me? No. Not bad at all—the video demonstrated King shit, undoubtedly.—“

Bokuto heard that and his attitude switched like a light, skipping forward to fall back in step with the Raven.

Kuroo smirked. “—But to Issei’s parents??? The same parents who pay all his school fees, granted Issei will come out being a prestigious surgeon?! The same parents who call us to assure them that Issei is, _in fact,_ studying and then we send them pictures from the study photoshoot we take of him? The same parents who think that Issei is still a virgin?! Oho, that video almost ruined his—and by extension, ** _our lives,_** man.”

Bokuto pouted. “I said I was sorry....... I even gave him the phone number of that one guy who gives really hot handjobs cause he twists his wrists like so and—“

Kuroo patted his owl on the shoulder. “Dude. It’s fine now, and in the past. Sure, it sucks that Matsun can no longer live with us but he’s still only a 20-minute walk from our apartment. Not really sure what his parents thought they were doing there. They played themselves .” As Kuroo turned a corner again on the busy sidewalk, he caught wind of his name being called by a really cute guy serving on a patio. He had sand coloured hair and pouty lips, and he waved excitedly at the Science Major.

 _6/10,_ Kuroo noted mentally, referring to the guy. He recognized that 6/10..... _because he was a 2.5/10 when the Raven first met him at the bar one night, but his deep-throat game turned out to be a solid 7/10,_ so Kuroo friendly boosted him to a 6.

Tetsurō cant remember the name of the sand pout guy, but he recognizes the sound of his voice as one of the many who have screamed his name in bed this September... he **_also_ **recognizes the sound whining his name because Kuroo told him he couldn’t stay the night. It was always the same. When would they learn?

Bokuto ran into the same issues as a player, even though he went about it in the most morally correct way out of the three of them. Maybe it’s because he is just so freaking nice and gets so excited to see people, his conquests end up leaving crying every time when they can’t stay the night. _I mean, **come on.**_

Bo always felt soooooo bad afterwards because he never lied to the people who slept with, always telling them that all he wants is sex and maybe a cuddle, but they always fell for him anyway, and Bokuto would cave and let them sleepover while he slept on the couch.

Kuroo and Mattsun would be ready to usher them out in the morning anyway, lovingly explaining to Bokuto that they will fall even harder if he lets them stay. Bokuto would pout but the middle blockers always assured him that he's a good dude and it’s not his fault these broads don’t listen the first time.

**_Back in the present,_ **Kuroo made eye contact with the college student and sent him a devastatingly handsome smile in return, just in case he had to call him for a face-fuck quickie again. Sandy Pout visibly swooned, and Kuroo quickly transitioned back to his friend and the conversation at hand, forgetting that guy. “All it changed was the fact that our tradition of Sunday morning debrief has to be at this spot now, switching from delivery to dine-in. We’re still best friends, which is what matters.”

Nodding, Kōtarō perked up. “Best buddies forever, bro!”

The two chuckled as they finally spotted the entrance of the restaurant they always met Mattsun at down the street. They chose to meet there because it was now in the middle of their two apartments. It was a modern little spot, called the _Uni Brunchette,_ targeted toward the concentrated college student population that lived downtown, no doubt. It was decorated stylishly: with lots of large plants and trees placed sporadically around the place, making it seem like you were in a weird hybrid of the Amazon Rain Forest and a trendy bar. It had an indoor and outdoor patio, with front walls that slid open so that even if you were inside you could feel the nice breeze of the outdoors. It had a vibrant and young clientele vibe, never getting too busy until the bar opened, but it always had the most popular kids on campus there. Not only has it become the 3 boys’ favourite place to get hammered and take people home from every Friday night when they didn’t have practice. It also served the breakfast closest to their mother’s cooking, so naturally they made a habit of coming here every Sunday afternoon to stuff their faces and talk about their week. One might call it a tradition, as well as the thing the boys always looked forward to in their already amazing lives.

Anyway, Mattsun had found it one time when he was on a ‘date’ over the summer (don’t get this fuckboy wrong, it was the kind of date that needed to be had if he wanted to get in their pants afterwards—pay your own bill though). Realizing how cool the restaurant bar was after that date, Mattsun brought his two best friends here, and it has become their place ever since. The 3 fuckboys even have their own spot, all the way in the far left corner, halfway inside and on the patio so that they had the perfect view of all the hotties that walked in, ensuring their pick of the litter.

But don’t worry, they always called dibs.

“Hey, did you hear back from Issei?” The intelligent science major questioned, kind of weirded out that their final member of the trio hasn’t been hounding them with _‘fuck you, I would have slept in later’_ texts like he always did when they were late. Today, they were 40 minutes late, so multiply the usual hounding intensity by two.

“Hmm.” The owl checked his phone. “No. That’s weird, huh....”

Tetsurō couldn’t think of any reason that would keep his relaxed friend from harassing them through text, but a sharp whistle caught his attention before he could think of a reason anyway. The two friends looked over and saw a shiny red convertible of men in surfer gear honking at them as they passed.

Hmmmm....

 _A 7.1/10 driving the convertible, a 5/10 in the drivers seat, and three 4s out of 10 sitting in the back,_ Kuroo analyzed.

Clearly, the whistling was a usual testament to how handsome the boys were, and they were used to it. Kuroo smirked from the ego boost, and Bokuto waved at them joyously but casually.

What can they say? Men of Kuroo and Bokuto’s (and Mattsun’s) stature were used to the stares, the honks, the whistles, the winks, the slipped phone numbers, and the offers of sex.....is that wrong? Or are they just blessed? Besides, the public attention was way worse when Mattsun was with them.

Today was nothing.

“I can’t wait to try their new yakiniku brunch menu, oh my God.....” yapped Bokuto, skipping to their desired location and opening the door kindly for his friend to walk into. Kuroo thanked him.

“Didn’t you get sick of that after sleeping with that one girl for a month whose dad owned a yakiniku joint just so that you could eat there for free...?” Kuroo couldn’t hold back his laughter as he accused the owl. The term barbecued meat had triggered his memory.

Kuroo remembers everything, And Bokuto’s face was priceless! His face twisted and he rubbed his stomach in distant nausea. “Fuck what would I do without you guys, thanks for reminding me. I’ll stick to the normal menu today.”

The Raven and the Owl entered their favourite place, automatically feeling a wave of satisfaction because **_this was their place....._**

They walked past the line that was forming for a brunch waitlist and maneuvered past the small groups of students who had to wait. Bo sent winks to the hotties whose breaths hitched or they tapped eachother when the two alpha males walked by, and Kuroo smoothly pretended like he didn’t notice the attention, even though he was scouting on the low.

_3/10......3.7/10.......2.9/10........well hello, 7.6/10........and his 4/10 friend..........nice pecs though............_

If you haven’t noticed already, Kuroo was a **VERY** hard marker— not once in his life giving anyone a rating over 7.8/10, except for his two best friends Mattsun and Bokuto that he loved platonically and he could say with complete certainty that they are strong _8.5s out of 10._

(Kuroo gives himself a strong _8.6/10)._

Making their way to the familiar far left side, the two young men walked toward their table like they owned they place.....— _because they kinda did._

There was this one time, when three people were already occupying their table when the boys sauntered in one Friday....... and once they noticed that the school’s gorgeous fuckboy trio had arrived, they left quickly, leaving their phone numbers on the table in their wake. Kind of a thirsty move _, but still made for a fun night that night with a 5.7/10,_ Kuroo hit twice, and then blocked them completely.

Chuckling to himself at the memory, Kuroo didn’t even stop Bo as the Owl prepared himself to attempt to surprise-attack-scare Mattsun from behind like he’s failed to do several times prior.........

Kōtarō began tip toeing around the restaurant corner to face their table until he was stopped dead in his tracks due to the visual displayed in front of him.

Bokuto froze and his jaw hit the floor, unable to stop a small trail of spit that escaped the side of his mouth.

Kuroo, a man that is vastly aware of his surroundings at all times, stopped a millisecond before his gray haired friend, completely flabbergasted by the sight in front to him, too.

**“What the.....?”** Kuroo could only get those 2 words out before his jaw slacked too. He was too much in shock from what he was seeing to speak. He used the sides of his fists to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn’t imagining what he was looking at, when he stared at _ **their**_ table.

Three strangers stood there.

_A...............9/10........... another 9/10............. and a.............. **oh dear God what the fuck is life anymore: a 105/10?!?!?!?!** No, **higher.** Actually, the scale has just been eviscerated completely when it came downto rating the third stranger standing there...........🤯🤯🤯_

Kuroo tried to gulp but his throat was dry.

Mattsun, who had his back facing their entryway as always, was chatting to three of the most attractive—no, fuck it, **the three MOST** attractive men any of them have EVER seen in their lives. The two 9s/10 were beautiful, painstakingly, one with dark tousled hair and a tired expression that models tried to grasp, the other with pink hair that suited him so well it was almost unfair, small sexy eyes and a lithe figure, and then........ _oh God, and then, **standing beside him**..........._

For the first time in his life, Kuroo was having a hard time using his brain. It was like it was out of commission or something. His mind shut down when his eyes latched on to the chart-breaker; a short man with the most angelic face, uninterested eyes as gold and bright and big as the sun outside, long dyed blonde hair tied back in a loose bun that had Kuroo’s fingers tingling because he wanted to feel the strands so badly.

The man had long eyelashes that were visible from fucking over here, 12 feet away, and his body was petite......perfectly petite..........and nimble looking.......but accented with muscles as if he played at least _one_ sport growing up......and— _oh God, stop it right now, Kuroo. You’re getting hard._

Bokuto next to him had beaten him to the punch on that front though. Someone like Bo who has been brain fried many-an-emo-mode and was used to that— **instead,** was already visualizing the honeymoon with the prince-like beauty adorned in black framed glasses. He looked like a walking talking GQ ad from hell, only because he looked kinda mean. Bokuto liked it. He liked everything. **Loved,** actually. Kōtarō’s jaw slacked even wider when he witnessed the boy tug on his fingers as he spoke. He thought it was the cutest thing ever and Bo wasn’t able to hear anything the model boy said but he fell in love with the voice nevertheless. ~~Yup, Kōtarō was a goner.~~

It had only been a good 10 seconds that passed since the Raven and Owl faced their table in the busy restaurant, but the two fuckboy-sophmores stood there for the duration like absolute fools, staring at the three boys (with emphasis on their favourites) with wide eyes and dropped jaws. They couldn’t even stop themselves. 

Bokuto’s brain function had turned to goo, but Kuroo’s brilliant mind was able to compartmentalize minimally, registering the fact that the pink haired one was standing the closest to Mattsun with the other two close behind. They weren’t joining Issei for brunch, they stood next to the table, from Kuroo‘s position it looked like the pretty boys either just got here or were just leaving, and they hadn’t noticed the two star struck men staring at the group like idiots. The attractive pink haired one laughed bodaciously at something Mattsun must have said to him, standing close enough to Issei to be friendly but far enough from him to not be perceived as an interested candidate looking to be fucked at some point. Kuroo was glad not to be noticed yet, however—lucking out that this was a bustling brunch spot and many people were standing and mingling, plus it was so loud what with the conversations, what with combined noise of the downtown traffic, and the music.

Kuroo couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could sure as hell watch—happily, might he add—the three hotties all day if they let him, but only because he needed the other 2 there to distract himself from totally walking over to the cat looking guy and throwing him over his shoulder to take him home. The three of them there helped remind Kuroo that he and the blonde in fact **weren’t** the only two people on the planet. Tetsurō notes immediately that he wouldn’t mind if that were for the case, though.

_Fuck,_ the fuckboy section of Kuroo’s brain groaned, feeling the butterflies that flew around in his belly when the blonde simply nudged and looked up at the model-looking one, leaning up to whisper something. _I was worried this day would come_ , sighed his fuckboy conscience.

Tetsurō frowned.

Whatever the blonde scale-breaker had said to the model looking one was transferred to the ear of the pink haired one like a telephone game, and within seconds the most beautiful trio was wrapping up the ordeal. The pinkie checked the time on his phone and said a quick goodbye to Mattsun.

Mattsukawa waved dorkily—a gesture the Raven and the Owl have _never_ seen before, as the three boys casually walked past Kuroo and himself, smelling like.....well, smelling like how you reckon the hottest boys on the face of the earth would smell.

Name the cologne ** _‘I’m Hot Asf and Everything About Me Will Make Your Mouth Water,’_** scent, and call it a day.

Bokuto almost died when the one he had a fictional honeymoon with brushed his shoulder with his accidentally as they left.

“Sorry.” Glasses called coldly in passing, and Bo could only switch from staring at the model’s retreating figure and his shoulder like a freak.

Tetsurō could tell that that shoulder had now become Bokuto’s favourite body part.

When the Fuckboys turned automatically to stare at the pretty trio’s retreating figures, Kuroo noticed two things: **1)** The one with the messy bun had a really nice ass, and **2)** almost everyone else in the restaurant was staring at them as they left _Uni Brunchette,_ too.

Go fucking figure, right?

They’re new. And they’re sexy as fuck.

Once man bun, glasses, and Pinkie were completely out of eyesight, Kuroo was moving before his brain even knew he was, walking over to their table and tugging a stunned Bo with him.

Tetsurō noticed that Mattsun had twisted in his seat already, most likely doing so to stare at the Pink haired’s retreat as well. Mainly, his ass, **of course.** Issei met eyes with the Raven next and gave him a knowing smirk before turning back around.

“Gentlemen.” Issei sat back in his chair and saluted the two friends he’s been waiting an hour for. “Took you long enough.”

Kuroo stole another look at the door where the short cat eyed God was, short circuiting for a memory of those big golden eyes for a moment. He swallowed the lump in his throat before force overriding his brain again and completely setting his attention on his perpetually-bored looking friend.

“Dude dude dude dude dude!!!!!!” Kuroo started before he’d even reached the table. “Who the **FUCK** was that!”

Mattsun glared at his big-eyed friends.

“Excuse you. No _hello?_ No, _‘oh hey Mattsun sorry for being late again for the bajillionth time, Lemme pay for your meal?'_ None of that?”

Kuroo deadpanned, sliding into his seat.

“Is that why you weren’t berating us with messages for being late?! You were distracted by _them?!!!”_

Issei shrugged, then nodded slowly, taking a chug of his beer before giving his best friend a look that said:

 _Dude. Can you blame me?_

Kuroo shook his head. “I’ll let it slide this time, because........” Kuroo made a gesture toward where the 3 guys were standing a minute ago. “.... _Whoa_.” He finished, because that’s the best word that could describe their combined beauty—then he gave Issei his best pleading face. “Please. Bro. Tell me who he is.”

Like the little shit he is, seeing the desperate expression on his friend's face; Issei took another chug of a beer. A long ass chug. Taking his sweet as time.

“Ahhhhhh. That’s some good beer.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin slowly. “Which one?” Issei finally quipped, wanting to laugh at how Kuroo and Bo hung on to his every move like this was a television thriller.

“The blonde one.” **“The brunette one!!”** Said the two players in unison.

Mattsukawa smirked. He’s been in this position before: what with his two friends wanting the deets about someone they deemed attractive on campus that Mattsun happened to know, but Mastsukawa had never once seen his friends so desperate, **so full of yearning like they might die if they aren't told** —when asking. He expected it though, he expected to be graced with their pleading expressions as soon as he realized that the time that he called the pink haired one over to his table on their way out would coincide and intercept the time of Kuroo and Bokuto’s arrival.

“They’re Makki’s friends.” He answered finally.

Kuroo had enough sense to get comfortable in his usual seat across from Mattsun at that point—instead of just sitting on the edge in his initial hurry—, whereas Bokuto didn’t have enough sense to do so yet—bluntly staring over at the exit the three pretty boys left through 3 minutes ago as if staring would somehow make the model one reappear.

Out of his peripheral vision, Kuroo noticed people staring at the gray-haired boy weirdly, so he reached up to grab Bo’s arm, tugging him down so that he was sitting in his seat.

“Makki. Makki who?! I don’t know a Makki! And I know everyone you know. So who the fuck is Makki!”

“My future husband, if I play my cards right.” Mattsukawa winked.

Bokuto pulled at his own hair, whining loudly. **“ _Ughhhh_** you’re not giving us _shit_ that I can work with dumbass! We need to know full names, Mattsun. We need to know birthdays. We need to know how the FUCK they like their eggs in the morning, engagement ring sizes, or if they’re down to fuck— _every night, **for the rest of our lives.!**_ What is wrong with you, Issei!?!” Tetsurō told Bokuto to take a deep breath because a vein was begging to pop out of Bo’s forehead and he didn't want that for his friend.. even though Kuroo was inclined to agree with everything that was said.

“— and since when do you have fuck-hot friends?” Kuroo added.

“Wait.. they're fuck-hot? Really? I didn’t notice.” Issei the little shit only grinned back with an eyebrow wiggle, loving that his friends were suffering right now due to his purposeful secrecy.

 _It’s what the late fuckers deserve,_ Issei thought, pleased by his friend's suffering. “It’s like you guys have never seen hot guys before.”

Kuroo slammed his fist on the table at once. “Ohoho,” started the Raven with dancing eyes. “ **Do not** give me that cool guy smirk right now, Issei Matsukawa. I fully saw that menu slide from table to your lap. Getting chubby’s over a hot guy simply talking to you, now, are we?!”

Issei flushed, his entire face turning red as a tomato.

Bokuto barked out a laugh as Matsukawa let out a long groan, his head falling into his hands in defeat.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.....” Mattsun groaned again “He was talking about getting ice cream after brunch and then I was picturing him licking an ice cream cone down the street and then my mind changed the ice cream into my dick and then........ **fuck**......you think he noticed?”

Kuroo shook his head even though Issei couldn’t see it. He was the one smirking now. “Nah,” he reached over to take Mattsun’s beer and finish what was left in the glass. “I just know all your tells, but there is no way he would have been able to tell that you were about to hump the air.” He teased.

“Shut the fuck up,” Issei snapped, removing his hands from his face to glare before making a face. “And why are you so quiet now, Bokuto?”

Kōtarō, who **_was_** pretty quiet considering he was the most talkative of the crew, was just in his own world now, humming to himself looking like he was in Candy Land. The two middle blockers could guess, easily, that Kōtarō was busy day dreaming about that model looking guy.

 **Gross.**

The server came over then, and Kuroo quickly gave the drink orders of him and his two friends that he knew so well. When the server left, The Raven turned back to his friend.

“How do you know them?! Tinder?”

“And where did he get his friends, **_‘Hot Guys R Us’_ **!?” Kōtarō jumped back into the conversation then, asking his rhetorical question then melting back into his daydream like this was a game of hopscotch.

Mattsun ignored Bokuto, scoffing at Kuroo’s initial question.

“What? Hell no. I don’t need that fucking weak ass app to get my dick wet.”

“Oya, sure, okay buddy. So how do you know them, Casanova?”

Tetsurō watched in disgust as he saw the eyes of his dark haired best friend glaze over in admiration as he recounted the memory.

“Theyre my new neighbours in my new apartment building. Makki—his full name is Hanamaki Takahiro, hot, right? —knocked on my door to ask if I had some flour I could spare because they forgot and the stores were now closed and _holy fuck if I didn’t almost drop to my knees for the man right there._ He’s gorgeous, right? The best looking dude I’ve ever seen, and that pink hair?! _**Oh my God😍**_. _Man,_ and I’ve been so fucking **pissed** at my parents lately for making me move out after Bo posted that video, but then I saw Makki and his friends moving in yesterday, and now.....well, I decided to send my parents a thank you card instead. As major thanks.”

Kuroo laughed his cackle laugh. “Okay, hot neighbours, flour, thank you card...dude. I got it. Please stop teasing now. Makki is super hot, yes, and completely your type, but PLEASE tell me about the blonde one!”

Mattsun took another long gulp of his drink for shits and giggles. Kuroo’s leg starting shaking from the anticipation.

“The short one, right?”

**“Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.”** Kuroo hissed, reaching over and grabbing Makkis t-shirt. He was SICK of the games! “Yes. The short one. The only one with long hair. COME ON, ISSEI.”

“He’s really cute, huh? Totally your type, I mean—if your type was called: **out-of-your-league-and-you-don’t-stand-a-chance.** ” Issei shrugged as if Kuroo didn’t have his shirt in a death grip.

Kuroo was about to murder him.

His thoughts were swimming with visuals of the short male’s soft features and tight backside visible through his pants, Kuroo was so enthralled by the attractive boy that he was dizzy with.... _is it lust?_ Uh, Yeah, has to be lust. Right?

Tetsurō spoke through clenched teeth, trying his best to keep his composure. **“Matsukawa. Issei. Do. You. Want. To. Make. It. To. Junior. Year.?”**

Mattsun nodded, “Ideally,”

**“Then. Tell. Me. About. The Blonde. _PLEASE.”_**

“Kinky. Oh, _I just love a man who isn’t afraid to beg....."_

Kuroo almost erupts like a volcano then... about to do God-knows-what to his sarcastic friend—before he realized that just like how he handled his other best friend outside when he stomped his foot pre-temper-tantrum, Tetsurō could not, _under any circumstances_ , play into their games.

Thinking quickly, the Raven devised a plan to get the information he wanted. Releasing his friends shirt, Kuroo leaned back in his chair with a cocky smile.

“Don’t want to tell me? **Great.** I’ll just go to your apartment and slip a picture of you from last year’s New Years Party under every apartment door on your floor. I’m just suuuure that your precious Makki would love to see you in a pile of—.”

For the second time in the span of 20 minutes, Matsukawa’s face drained of blood, the smirk he had on his face slipping down alongside the removal of blood.

 _“—You wouldn’t...”_ He muttered in horror, as if he was looking at a ghost from Paranormal Activity itself.

Kuroo let out a thoughtful sigh, raising his hand to inspect the nails he is man enough to admit he gets manicured. **“The blondie broke my scale.”** Kuroo responded, knowing Issei would understand the weight of those words. The weight of Kuroo’s entire love life since he was 14 relied on that **scale...** **he is the hardest marker in the world and now someone managed to not just get a 10, but managed to break it.**

The admittance made Issei gasp and his jaw drop in unadulterated incredulity.

“He surpassed it, then broke it. So, slip pictures of you from New Year’s under your ‘future husband’s’ door if you don’t tell me what you know? Oh yeah, yeah, _**I would.”**_ Tetsurō finished evilly.

Not seeing an ounce of faltering or insincerity in the Ravens dark expression, Mattsun had no other choice but to speak quickly.

“The blonde is Kenma. I forget the surname. Computer Science major. Brown haired one is Akaashi—“

 _“Akaashi............”_ hummed the gray Owl next to them dreamily. His smile grew so large it looked like the spiker’s face might split in two. “Akaashi Kōtarō................” He was still thinking about their honeymoon.

Turning back, Mattsun continued. “Akaashi is a Japanese Lit major, and All 3 of them are first years at our University. So they just started, and just moved here from rural Japan. Hanamaki is our age, though. He just took a gap year after high school.”

Kuroo grinned.

 ** _Kenma._ **_Beautiful name._ “Single?” Kuroo asked, _not that that would change his decision to pursue Kenma anyway,_ but it would change the ways and manners in which he went about it.

“Uh, not sure. For any of them.”

“Is that all you know about them?” Kuroo pushed.

Issei nodded. “Well, yeah, duh. I just met them last night. You can only pretend to look for a damn bag of flour for so long until the jig is up. I lasted for almost 5 minutes so I could talk to Makki longer, but that was the best I could do. I wanted to know about **him,** not his friends, sorry.”

When Kuroo nodded, Mattsun continued:

“Now I’m at brunch the next day waiting on you shitheads, I saw them leaving and offered them recommendations on the best food spots here if they wanted dessert. Cue Makki telling me he wants ice cream and me hearing his sexxxxy voice say **‘ice cream’** and I automatically think about rolling an **’Ice’** cube on his nipple as I shoot my own **’Cream’** inside him.”

“Okay, **that** I didn’t need to fucking hear. We’re about to eat, you dumbass.”

Issei blushed slightly. “Sorry, bro. I've never met someone that makes me so horny by just _existing,_ before.”

 _“Hmmmmm......... Ice cream......no, Akaashi, you can have all the flavours because you deserve the world!._..........” hummed the Owl😇, looking like the textbook definition of spacey. The epitome of a space case.

Kuroo shook his head at Mattsun. If he wasn’t so disappointed and filled with regret that all he heard about the best looking man he’s ever seen was his name and major when he could have been learning so much more if only he'd left the house sooner, he would have laughed. He was pissed. “Dude. Next time, introduce us, kay?”

“Sure. But that’s what you fuckheads get for being late. If you guys didn’t leave me here all alone like assholes, you would have been sitting here when I called them over. You probably would have gotten the digits of pretty Kenma,”

Kuroo’s heart clenched, because for some reason he was already feeling protective over the petite blonde, not liking the idea of anyone else finding him as pretty as he did. If Kuroo didn’t see the glazed over expression on Mattsun a minute ago when he remembered the first time he saw Makki--knowing that was a telltale sign that the boy was fucked--Tetsuro would have made Mattsun take the phrase ‘pretty Kenma’ back.

~~_This isn’t good._ ~~

Mattsun saw the flash of fury cross the Raven’s eyes anyway, and it filled Issei with glee that it seemed like he wouldn’t have to endure this torture that ensues when you see someone so fucking hot you’d probably give them your bank account passwords if they asked—alone, because his friends were obviously just as screwed. Delightfully, Issei turned to his Owl friend.

“And if Bokuto was here when I called them over, he would have.........” Issei stopped when he witnessed the way Bo was smiling to himself as if he was having a conversation with the brunette whom has no idea he exists in his head. The middle blockers cringed. “ _Well, **honestly**_.... it’s probably a good thing that Bo wasn’t here to talk to Akaashi. He probably would have asked him how many kids he wants them to adopt or something.”

 _“Four..........”_ Bo hummed again, jumping back in to the convo as if they asked him a question. “First born will be named Akaashi Junior, second is Agaashi, then Akgaashi & then....Pinenut.” Kōtarō smiled widely as the dark haired best friends exchanged creeped-out glances.

The server returned not a moment too soon, placing their drinks down and asking if the boys wanted their regular brunch orders. Kuroo nodded, always the all-knowing friend, and the server walked away to punch that in.

“Serious question. When is the last time you've seen guys that hot?” Mattsun asked, the horny side of his mind wondering what kind of ice cream Hanamaki was tasting right now. _Oh, that means Makki’s tongue currently tastes like ice cream, mmm.........😩_ Mattsun felt a semi coming on annoyingly.

“Never. And I check out a lot of fucking guys.”

“Same. Do You think they walk around in just their underwear when they’re at home? Lounging, cooking, taking showers together to save water?”

Kuroo groaned, fighting off a semi himself at the thought of Kenma without clothes. “Please Stop,” He warned.

Mattsun laughed. While the visual he mentioned was hot, his mind switched Makki’s shower partners to just himself in a heartbeat, biting and claiming the smooth skin there as he pulled that wet strawberry hair back for more access, fuck.

“Would you give up half your ‘on-call-to-fuck’ list for a chance to fuck Kenma?” Mattsun posed, trying his best to get his mind off taking Makki up against the shower wall.

While that should be a hard question to answer, Tetsurō responded without even having to think about it. “Hell. Yes.” He stated surely.

“Same. For Makki.”

 ~~They were fucked.~~

“Would you cut off that guy with the amazing arch you told us about, if Hanamaki wanted to be your only friend with benefits?”

Mattsukawa did not miss a beat, nodding. “Yes, absolutely. I’d do anything to get between those legs. When he asked for flour last night he was wearing pyjama shorts and **_his legssss—“_**

“That’s it, we’re coming over tonight.” Kuroo interrupted matter of factly, trying his best to drown out Bokuto’s sickening lovey dovey mumbles.

“What! Why?! I thought we were watching the game at your place because you guys have the big screen t— _ **ohhhhhhhh**_........... you fucking devil!”

Kuroo grinned. “Maybe your new hot neighbours watch sports too. We'll have to invite them.”

Issei shook his head, taking a sip of his third beer. “Nah, they don’t.”

“Okay. Then maybe they need to know about some absolutely imperative thing about the building that must be told in-person x3 and then maybe they need to be told some more imperative things over some dinner.”

Mattsun’s eyebrows met in the middle. “Really....? That’s the best you can come up with?”

“Shut the fuck up, New Years Baby. My brain is shot after seeing the hottest guy I’ve ever laid my eyes on, thank you very much.”

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!”

—-

***** MEANWHILE, at the Ice Cream Shop Down The Street *****

_*Iphone Ringtone sounding*_

“Here, Keiji, take these napkins.” Hanamaki Takahiro handed a stack of napkins to one of his best friends Akaashi Keiji before answering a phone call.

Kenma and Keiji sat there watching as Hanamaki’s face lit up when he read who was calling on the screen.

“Hi, babe!!!!” Takahiro belted into the phone. So loud and so full of excitement that it made the two quiet men flinch. Makki saw the flinch and mouthed a quick apology, before stepping away from their table for a bit to speak to his boyfriend from afar.

Kenma Kozume and Akaashi sighed, happy for the ability to be spared from their pink-haired friends love spell and baby voice. They hear it enough at home.

“They’re good together,” Kozume remarks distractedly.

Beside him, Akaashi shrugs. “Sure. Absolutely. Whatever.”

The blonde turned to his dark haired roommate who is also his best friend. “Are you ever gonna stop being so bitter about your ex? Not every guy is like that, you know..... not every relationship ends as horribly as yours.....”

Akaashi glared at the shorter male. “Gee, thanks. And No, I won’t. Besides, I am not bitter, I just hate men.”

Kenma deadpanned. “But you are a man?”

“Unfortunately.”

“And you love men.”

“I’m gay, yes, so my betrayal dick loves men. Unfortunately. But my head? No. He Hates them.” Keiji dug into his ice cream with a huff.

“So, if the perfect guy were to—um—fall from the sky right now, someone that looked like Chris Hemsworth, holding your favourite flowers, a bouquet of purple irises, guaranteeing you a life of happiness—you’re telling me you wouldn’t go for it?”

Akaashi pictures it with a solemn expression, and for a second Kenma thought _he got through to him_ —but then the brunettes face hardened and he growled. “Absolutely the fuck not.” He said definitively. “Never will I ever give a male a glimpse into my heart again. My pants, maybe.... and that’s if I’m desperate to get dicked down, but I have a dozen new toys for that, so even that is unlikely.”

Kenma hummed, unsurprised. “Some guys are good, Akaashi. Just saying. It makes me mad that good people like you turn into love haters after being emotionally abused, when in all honestly, it is the jerks like your ex that deserve to be miserable and should never get a chance at true happiness! They deserve what’s coming to them, for sure. It isn’t hard to be a decent human being. I don’t even _like_ people besides you guys and I’m more decent than these so-called extraverts. I mean, I get the whole hook-up culture of our generation, but why be such a douchebag about it? Like, how much of an asshole do you have to be to date a guy, fuck him in the backseat of your car, and then not even drop him all the way home—just at a bus stop because his house was on the other side of town?! And on top of that, when he texts you about it, all he gets in return is a message saying only 6s/10 and up get drives home???!!! I mean, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN! It’s absolutely despicable behaviour.”

Akaashi quirked an eyebrow, catching on midway through the monologue that Kenma wasn’t just talking about Keiji’s ex anymore. Kozume never spoke this much, so Akaashi **knew** this was something that Kozume really fucking cared about. However, the boy with the stylish glasses knew the blonde wasn’t talking about himself, so.......

“Care to share anything, Kenma? Does this have anything to do with that Senior guy you know from diapers that goes to this University?”

Kenma nodded with a deadpan expression. “Yes. His name is Hinata and he’s a really good friend of mine. He’s coming over tonight, actually. To see the new place and give us a welcoming gift and stuff.”

Akaashi nodded. “Cool. I can’t wait to meet him and exchange stories about how shitty men are. I really want to know what kind of God-complex jerk still rates people using numbers like the world is his a laboratory or something. What a piece of shit.”

“Right!?” Kenma continued to pick at his dessert as Hanamaki made his way back over with a blissfully in-love aura. Kenma was happy for his friend.

“I’d love to get back at a guy like that, y’know? Give him a taste of his own medicine. See how _**he**_ likes getting his heart and emotions played with. How he likes being treated like shit.” Kozume frowned as he spoke, losing his appetite and sliding his barely-touched ice cream sundae away from him.He took out his Nintendo Switch to calm him anger.

“Uh oh. What did I miss?” Hanamaki stated, slipping into his seat and directing his question to his dark haired friend only, knowing Kenma was done chatting for the day.

Akaashi smiled handsomely.

“What did you miss? Well, you missed the way our new neighbour was mercilessly eye-fucking you when he told us about this place,” Kenji gestures toward the ice cream place they were currently sitting in.

Hanamaki shrugged. “I didn’t miss it. And he’s kind of cute—in some weedhead, brooding kind of way. And his tatts are hot. But I just don’t care. I’m practically married, you know.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Lucky you.” He muttered sarcastically, giving him two claps in applause.

“Ohhhhh Akaashi you are way too handsome to take yourself off the market like you’re doing—the extra movers we had yesterday were basically begging you for your number and the pale one was—“

“Save it. Whether he’s a Mover or a fucking Surgeon, I don’t care. Men suck, and that’s that. Just... make sure you continue to be nice to that neighbour that can’t help but eye-fuck you, okay? His bag of flour was literally the most prestigious flour I’ve ever seen, _Gordon Ramsey type ingredients,_ so we might need him to be our grocery store on other occasions, okay?.”

Hanamaki nodded, smiling at both of his friends.

“Gotcha. Also, I’m having Hirugami over tonight since he just told me over the phone that he’s in town on business! He says wants to watch the game at our place!”

“Sure, sure,” Mumbles the bitter man. “Kenma has someone coming over too. So, the more the merrier. I’ll make dinner for everyone.”

“Awesome!”

_******* _

Little did both trios (fuckboy and prettyboy) know, as they ate on separate patios.... that hours from then... they were about to embark on a dramatic journey of—well, drama........starting the moment Kuroo knocks on their door.


	2. EPISODE 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I am pleasantly surprised by how much support and traction I received from the pilot episode!! 80 kudos and 30+ comments?! Thank you so much everyone!
> 
> I am so excited to write this story. 
> 
> Just so you know, I am a screenwriter first. So this is actually my first fic that I honestly believe reads as a young adult television drama. I'm in love with it, my friends in real life are now following it, and I hope you guys continue to like it, too!
> 
> I just moved cross-country over the last 2 weeks which was mega stressful, so that is the one of the reasons why this post was so late. I will try to post more regularly, of course, but I am a Master's student and I instruct my own lab, so sometimes I don't have time--but posting a new episode every week and a half (maximum) is the goal! I'm up for it.
> 
> Happy Reading!

_Knock!✊💥 Knock! ✊💥 Knock! ✊💥_

“Fucking........” A soaking wet Mattsun, eyes closed, cursed under his breath when he reached for the towel-less towel rail outside of his shower. It’s attached to the wall relatively far from where he stands at the edge of his tub, but his wing span is impressive. Annoyed that he forgot to bring his towel, _again_ , Mattsun rings out the excess water out of his wet hair using his hands and steps out of his shower butt ass naked. It’s cold as shit.

_Knock!✊💥 Knock! ✊💥 Knock!_ ✊💥 

“I’m coming, fuck.” He murmurs, entering his apartment that he lives in by himself and makes his way to his bedroom. It is very him, what with a slight mess, relaxed aura, nerdy movie trinkets on the walls and volleyball memorabilia still in boxes since he’d only moved in three weeks ago. Cursing again, Issei quickly finds a towel hung over the back of his desk chair and quickly dries off to the best of his ability. When the towel flung off the desk, the wind pushed off a brand new box of condoms that were teetering on the edge anyway, rolling onto his now damp carpet at his feet.

Matsukawa smirked, thinking about who he may call tonight to help him break that new box in.

_Maybe his TA for his bio class that has offered him all A's for sex._

Being lazy, Issei kicked the box to the other side of the room where more boxes were.

**_Knock!✊💥 Knock! ✊💥 Knock!_ ✊💥 **

The knocks were harder this time, so Mattsun 'hurried' up.

_Damn, pizza really only takes 15 minutes to deliver here?_ Issei thought to himself. _Living with the boys it always took over an hour......but maybe that’s because we’d order 3 or 4 pizzas instead of one back then. **Whatever.**_

Rushing only a little now, the brunette threw on a pair of baggy shorts that he wore yesterday and an old white t-shirt from a high school tournament. Taking his sweet ass time, he’d finally met the door just as the knocks started up again.

**Knock!✊💥 Knock! ✊💥 Knoc—**

Opening the door , Matsukawa was all prepared to greet his pizza delivery guy that knows him and his best friends just as well as their server at _Uni Brunchette_ does, ~~and not just because Matsukawa has fucked him a few times upon delivery~~ —but because they ordered from him maybe once or twice every week last year. Issei was going to possibly ask him to fuck again like he normally does if he’s horny as he turned the knob, but when he saw who was there instead of the familiar pizza delivery guy-- Mattsun bit his tongue instead. Shit, he tasted blood.

At his door.......... was one of the most handsome specimens he has ever seen. Handsome, and…… cute.

Mattsun patently checked the guy standing in front of him out, scanning him from head to toe appreciatively.

The man had to be around his age, though he was a little shorter than himself, with soft brown eyes with a mischievous glow behind them, along with a demeanour that screamed playful. His jaw was chiseled, and his body was masculine, signalling his adulthood. Yup: 

#  **Handsome.**

The male’s hair was....wait, fuck, brownish.... _pink_? A hot guy that looks good with **PINK** hair? Sign Issei tf up—he thought individuality to be a huge turn on--And this guy had his arms crossed while he leaned on the door frame nonchalantly, a smile playing on his lips. Oh, Yes:

#  **Cute.**

_Hancute_ , Issei laughed to himself.

The stanger’s bangs looked unfairly attractive right above his eyes, and he definitely had no idea how good he looked in a giant hoodie and small shorts that showed off two long, lean, and strong legs. _Damn, those are nice legs.....I want to fuck his thighs so bad.... he is so damn:_

#  **Sexy.**

**_Hancutexy_** , haha, thought Mattsun.😅

“Hey,” said the Hancutexy stranger, a little smirk still playing on his pink lips. Mattsun had to force himself to not let his eyes stray from the man’s face.

_“You’re not my pizza delivery guy..........”_ Dragged Issei, matching the handsome guy’s smirk. _But you can be my_ ** _orgasm_** _delivery guy_ , _if you want,_ he thought. Pushing his _he’s-so-damn-hot_ thoughts to the side and thickening his chill-guy demeanour to keep his increasing heart rate down, Issei gave the shorter male a relaxed grin. Issei has never had to try to stay calm before, it always came naturally to him. Even in high school and middle school teachers would think he was being disrespectful when he shrugged and perpetually appeared mighty disinterested, but really it was just the way he was.

“Ah, what gave it away?” Mr. Hancutexy cutely lifted his hand to tap it on his chin in fake-thoughtfulness. _“The fact that pizza delivery guys don’t usually wear pink fuzzy slippers?_ **Or maybe it was the fact that I’m not carrying your damn pizza?”**

Not expecting such a witty comeback, ( ~~and the fact that he is so freaking hot~~ ) Matsukawa’s dick twitched in his pants.

Adding, “Sorry to disappoint you,” the stranger laughed in his doorway.

Issei shrugged, trying to pretend that his heart wasn’t swelling with how much hotter this guy got when he laughed like that. “S’okay. And my bad, you’re right. But in my defence I really _am_ having a pizza delivered real soon. _Wanna come in for a piece so I can apologize **properly** for the mix up…?_” he couldn't help but flirt a little. Pizza be damned. _Issei suddenly had an appetite for something else._

“Dude! Aren’t you going to ask me my name first? Like, before you invite me in?! _I could be a serial killer.”_

Amused, Mattsun lifted one eyebrow attractively, simultaneously deadpanning. “A serial killer in pink fuzzy slippers....…?” 

Mr. Hancutexy laughed again—a beautiful sound—cocking his head back. Issei admired his neck, wanting to attack it with open mouthed kisses in his bed.

“Touché.” The pink haired male answered, moving his head back into place. “Sup. I’m Hanamaki Takahiro—but I go by Makki, or Hiro.”

Standing there, Matsukawa blinked **haaaard** twice because he was still confused as to why this handsome man that can take his humour was standing in his door step.

“Matsukawa Issei. Call me whatever.” _Including **daddy** , while I bend you over_….. Mattsun thought, licking his lips when his eyes briefly drifted back down to Makki’s bare legs in those small shorts. Those legs probably look so damn amazing from behind, Mmm.

“Cool. Then I’ll call you _‘neighbour’_.”

Issei almost missed what Hiro said because he was too busy picturing how the pink haired guy would look in ecstasy, hair disheveled and mouth open as Issei made him cum …several times.— but the last word mentioned brought the brunette’s attention back to the present, breaking his chill demeanour for one-second.

 **“W-wait what?”** Issei watched the handsome man smirk as he repeated it. _“N-neighbour?!”_

“Yup,” Hanamaki smiled fully, gesturing down the hall. “We just moved into 602. And as a cliché friendly neighbour, I came over to ask you to borrow something..”

Every inch of Mattsun stood at attention hearing those words, fucking giddy when he looked to his left to read the number on his own door as if he needed a reminder🙄. A large **608** was embellished on his door in shiny gold metal. **Suh-weet!**

As Hiro spoke, Mattsun thought about what having a smoking hot neighbour could mean. Who needs a delivery guy or a _to-fuck_ list that require ubers and directions when he could just walk 7 steps down the hall to pound into the **hottest guy** he’d ever hope to be inside!? Would that be weird? Living next to your fuck buddy? Would Makki get clingy? Try to move in since he lives next door? _Want sex all the time after Issei shows him what he shows his best looking partners that made them addicted?_

 **Wait....** would that be such a bad thing? This hot pink-haired guy constantly wanting to bounce on his dick? Fuck. Honestly—

“You good?” Makki asked, startling Issei out of his thoughts again.

The taller male coughed quickly to cover his impure thoughts. “I’m good. And um, sure. _Yes._ What do you need to borrow?” _Please say my dick. Please say my nut. **Please Please Please,**_ chanted the extremely dirty-minded middle blocker. He hated those cheesy pornos where the guy that got railed was a delivery boy and the lines were terrible like that, but for some reason **The** Matsukawa probably wouldn’t mind hearing that cheesy line from this stranger ~~or any line, really~~ because Issei would still want to fuck his brains out.

It’s only been a few minutes, yeah, but that’s honestly how long it **usually** took Issei to know if he wanted to take someone home or not. At least that’s how it happened at _Uni Brunchette_ last weekend, and the weekend before that, and all of first year.

Pushing his hands into the kangaroo pocket of his teal sweater, the pink haired male unintentionally looked up at Issei with a slight-begging expression. It was so unbelievably sexy that Issei had to shuffle on his feet so that his semi felt the minor brush of his shorts.

“Do you have flour..? We need like, 3 cups, max. And then when we go shopping tomorrow my roommates and I will buy you back a new bag.”

Issei counted 3 seconds in his headbefore agreeing, so that he wouldn’t appear too eager and rush to get the Hancutexy man his flour. _Do you need anything else???_ Eager Issei would ask. _Want to borrow my car, want my tv?! You’re so hot, so **Here you go.**_ The feeling of eagerness felt unfamiliar to him, being someone who prefers to go through life as slowly as humanly possible. But he guesses Makki brought that side out of him. Interesting.

While Issei rummaged through every single cupboard that he absolutely knew **did not** contain his flour—pretending to search in the crevices haha—, he shot casual conversation at his neighbour with the nice legs. He wanted to know everything there is to know in this short window of opportunity:

_What’s your major?_

_And your roommates? ( ~~To keep him guessing~~ )_

_Oh, that means you’re not first-year age then?_

_Same. Born in 95.’_

_Dude, yes! I could have sworn no one else knew that movie!_

_Ah, here is the flour.! Don’t worry about buying the bag back, keep the whole thing. Maybe I’ll cash in that favour another time._

“Aw, thanks, man,” Removing his hands from his pockets, Hanamaki leaned forward to take the large bag of flour from Issei’s tatted arms. Matsukawa noticed that Makki carried the flour like anyone would a baby and that he found that strangely cute. _**Why did he find that strangely cute?!**_ He wanted to fuck his neighbour, not see him with a snotty nosed child.

 _Whatever._ Issei pushed that thought to the side as his stomach grumbled violently under his shirt. _Must be the hunger talking._

Through the middle blockers forced little question-and-answer period, Matsukawa was able to learn some things about Mr. Hancutexy. With every question, came an answer that drew Issei in more. He didn’t want to stop learning about and talking to Hiro and he damn sure didn’t want to get to that damn cupboard that he knew the flour was in. But what was truly a discovery from the smartass answers of his neighbour, was that **said** smartass neighbour was not going to be as easy to get into bed, like most of Issei’s admirers were. He was much too clever. This pink haired hottie was witty, funny, and **very** used to getting hit on, and Issei could tell. He was different. That means he’d probably have to play the long game to get Hiro in his bed, or at least turn on the charm a bit more when this was _**not**_ their first meeting. At least Mattsun knew he’d have more opportunities considering he lives on the same floor, ohoho— **(THANK YOU MUM AND DAD FOR MAKING ME MOVE HERE 🙏).**

Unlike all the other guys Issei has fucked ~~and ghosted~~ , those conquests **_never_** required effort on Issei’s part and even when they did, those guys were

  1. not even **close** to the league he considered Takahiro to be in, and
  2. those guys were worth missing out on, because there would always be another guy that looked like them or brought the same shit to the table (or..err, the bed). So Issei's effort had a very low bar. 



Yeah, but that’s not the case here. **At all.** Wanna take a guess as to how many sexily sarcastic assholes with delicious legs for days that can pull off PINK hair Matsukawa runs into on a daily basis at the bars, on, or off-campus???????????

 **Ring Ring Ring we have a winner:** THE BIG FAT NUMBER **ZEEEEEROOOOO.** 😑

“Anytime.” Responded the brunette, stealing a glance at the shorter man’s legs again. He nodded in perversion. “Seriously, come back anytime. For flour, or for eggs….” _**Or for a blow job, or for a rim job, or if you happen to want your back blown out,**_ _you know…....friendly neighbourly things_ 🙃 _._ Matsukawa was about to wave like an absolute loser who has a high school crush but remembered who he was before he did so.

_What the fuck?_

_“Pizza for….. Issei...Mustufucka?”_

Both boys turned their attention to the unknown sound of the familiar pizza delivery guy that Mattsun _thought_ he was opening the door for initially tonight. 

Hearing the lame name, Hanamaki barked out a laugh again, making Matsuns stomach twist in a weird way.

“ **Must-u-fuck-a.** _Nice._ ” His eyes twinkling due to how genuinely funny he found Mattsun, Takahiro stepped back and aside to make room for the pizza delivery guy that was eyeing Hanamaki a bit too protectively for someone that Issei only fucked when he was bored and hungry. Mattsun was too busy keeping his eyes on the prize, however, too caught up in his attraction to notice how the pizza guy was glaring at Hanamaki.

Hiro smiled largely. “Enjoy your dinner, hm? I’ll see you around, neighbour!” Cheerily, the shorter male stifled his laughter at the scene before him, confirming something to himself-- because judging by the daggers being sent his way; Issei Matsukawa was indeed a total man-eater, just as he suspected. Still holding the flour on his hip like a baby, Hiro shot a really fucking adorable peace sign at the middle blocker with his free hand before retreating down the hall.

Following Hanamaki into the hallway too, strategically so that he could 'pay,' The 6’2" man looked straight over the top of the delivery guy’s uniform cap to check out Mr. Hancutexy’s ass and back legs in those tiny shorts.

 **Damn.** Issei thought, feeling his dick twitch again as he stared at the pink haired male’s plump ass as he walked to his apartment just down the hall. _Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu mum and dad😩. Thank you for making me move out of the place I shared with the guys and making me move here. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to stare at such a delectable ass in small shorts today. This is the **best** punishment ever!_

“Uh, _Matsukawa-san?_ ”

Snapping his head down to the delivery guy because of the sound but also because Hiro had turned to wave (in a non dorky, totally cool way) before he fully disappeared into his apartment and Issei didn’t want to get caught totally checking him out, a blush coated the brunette’s cheeks.

The delivery guy gasped, so Issei asked: “What?”

Sputtering, the worker stuttered. “U-uh-um so-sorry, nothing. I’ve just never seen you blush before. I-I dont think anyone on campus ha-has,”

Issei shrugged, even though deep inside he was only moderately freaking out. “ _I wasnt blushing._ ” He cleared his throat. “That’s what I do when I'm insanely hungry. And you’re like….. 20 minutes late.” He snapped his expression right back to the bored one he always sported, watching appreciatively as the worker immediately returned to normal, registering his blush as merely a fluke.

 _Whew._ Thought the brunette, mentally wiping sweat off his forehead with the back of his forearm.

The blush _was_ a fluke….. **right?** Ah well—

“Sorry, got stuck in traffic on the I-99.”

Matsukawa picked up on the fact that the delivery guy’s voice dropped into what he thought was sultry. The older man looked up at Issei through his lashes, and Issei cursed himself for picturing Makki giving him that look instead.

 _“Allow me to give you the employees discount to off-set your wait…..”_ Tried the pizza guy.

Ugh, ew. Issei was officially back to thinking those delivery boy porno lines like the one just said were gross, even though he was certain he’d find them sexy again if Hanamaki was the one spewing them. _Yes, sir....._

Unfortunately, thinking of Hiro like that made Matsukawa’s dick twitch AGAIN and so he decided this delivery guy could honestly make himself useful since he was late. Mattsun was super sexually frustrated from being hyper turned on for the past 25 minutes, so at the very least the pizza in front of him will taste better post-fuck. 🍕

“Come in.” Said the middle blocker tiredly, like he was doing this guy a favour ( ~~which, with the way Issei’s stroke game is set up, he kinda was~~ ). The facial beam under the visor at Matsukawa’s words could probably be seen from down the hall where his hot neighbour lived, tbh. Issei was used to that.

“Leave the pizza on the island,” Mattsun finished, following the excited gentlemen into his apartment.

_Eh, at least he’ll get to break in that new box of condoms._

🤷

* * *

**———— Present Night ————**

“—And then Miya set me up, and I was all _SHWAAAAM!_ And the receivers were all _OOOOOOAAAH_ so they let it hit the floor and I was all _YAAAABLAMMAS_!”

“ _Yablammas_. That’s new.” Kenma Kozume picked out a bottle of gin that he favours in one of the liquor store aisles with his good friend. Akaashi had told them after ice cream a few hours earlier that Kenma was in charge of alcohol tonight for the impromptu get together they were hosting. Akaashi was somewhat of a den mom sometimes--and even though Kenma seemed annoyed by it once in a while--he was forever grateful for his Keiji. Without him keeping them in order in all aspects of their lives, who knows where Makki and himself would be. Speaking of his two amazing roommates, Akaashi put himself in charge of dinner, of course, and Hanamaki was the host (meaning he was tasked with casually making sure all our guests were good, Akaashi’s idea), which was great because Hiro was a skilled conversationalist and Kenma wasn’t. Their roommate was a great delegator.

Actually, Kenma had begun to really like mixing drinks ever since he turned 21, and that’s why he was pushing a cart right now in the Liquor Store, already having picked out lemon juice, sugar syrup and carbonated water so that he can make Tom Collins tonight. Once he gets better at his cocktail making craft, he will start giving guests a choice but they can chill tf out with that tonight.

Anyway—to prepare for their get together tonight, Kozume’s good friend Hinata Shōyo offered to pick him up and bring him to get the supplies he needed for drinks before the night began. It was now 7:50pm and guests were set to arrive around 10-10:30.

“You notice my new words?!” The ginger was always astonished by his friends intellect.

“Of course. But...” Kenma’s sultry cat eyes scanned over the rows and rows of refrigerated beers that he needed to select from for the guests that weren’t into Tom Collins. “But you only bring new ones into your vocabulary when you’ve met someone.”

Kenma smiles inside when Hinata sucks in a quick breath.

Shōyo and Kenma have been friends since high school. They had attended different ones but bonded over their opposites-attract personality types and formed a pretty strong friendship after Kozume’s second year. Even though Hinata was one year younger than Kenma, he hadn’t taken any time off after high school in order to continue his ever progressing volleyball career, so he was technically an upper year to Kozume. Not that it mattered, Kozume doesn’t care about age or anything really when it comes to friendships and that is why he was able to form such a strong side bond with the ball of energy that is **Hinata “the sun” Shōyo.** They barely see eachother due to their busy schedules (mostly Hinatas) but they keep up their friendship over text, FaceTime, and sometimes video games—it’s nice.

But now that they attend the same University as of 2 weeks ago, Kenma noted that seeing each other was even more nice, especially when Hinata so humorously turned red whenever he was called out, like he just was: taking a walk down another aisle before facing Kenma again. In the meantime, Kozume just takes 3 short trips from fridge to cart to place different 12-packs of popular beer in his cart.

When Hinata returns, he is less red from embarrassment, more like a mild blush, now.

“Well there’s this guy.........” Says the younger male, speaking through a pout and using his feet to sheepishly scoff at the marks on the store floor.

“Yeah.............” Kozume chuckled and pushed the cart with him to the next aisle. Hinata followed closely behind, a little taller than the cat eyed boy now.

“His name is Kageyama, I used to know him back in high school.... I don’t know if you remember—“

Kenma nodded. “ **I remember,** the one who always carried the milk.”

“ **Yeah!!!** You have a great memory, Kenma!”

Kenma turned down the next aisle to look for wine.

“We parted ways after graduation, he got some scholarship somewhere far from here and I got mine here, but now his professional team that he is moving to is close to here..... _so he’s moving back and_... **and** he asked me to go watch a big tournament with him to scout our competition, which is normal, we always do that when he’s in town. But this time— ** _then he said.......”_**

Interest peaking but refusing to show it as to not falter his friends confidence, Kozume only urges the red-head on.

_“He said........?”_

Hinata got all blushy again. He faced the racks of wines and hid his face with the Pinot Noir’s. “Uhhhh..... H-he said...... **well,** asked if he could take me to..t-to dinner........after. At some super romantic restaurant, I forget the name.”

Honestly not expecting that, Kenma’s eyes lit up. “Really? Yet he’s like, super awkward right? He really asked you on a date? That’s awesome.”

“Yeah? You think? **Well I told him I’d pass....”**

“What! But didn’t you have a little thing for him back in high scho—“

Groaning, Shoyo forgot how close he was standing to the wines when he flailed his arms to the ceiling and knocked over a bottle. Lucky that Hinata has super human fast reflexes, the ginger was able to scramble and catch it just before it shattered on the ground.

“You’re a mess,” Kozume deadpanned.

Carefully placing the bottle back, Hinata moved away from the wines, closer to the other side of the aisle where the plastic mixers were.

“I didn’t just have a thing for him, Kenma! I was in love with Kageyama back then,” Hinata whispered.

“Why are you whispering?”Kozume selected one bottle of white, then one bottle of red, placing it in his cart.

“ **Because!** He is moving here now! Anyone he may know could be in here!” Hinata looked around.

Kenma nodded, ignoring his friend’s foolish behaviour.. “Alright, **well,** if you were in love with him, and he’s moving back to town, why deny his date offer?”

Hinata sighed, defeated.

“Well....b-because he’s t-tall—even taller than he was in high school, he has broad shoulders, brilliant blue eyes, no acne whatsoever........ so...... **y’know?”**

The blonde deadpanned again, making his way to the cash with Shōyo in tow. “ _No, I really don’t know._ Last I checked you **like** guys that are tall with nice shoulders and blue eyes?”

 **“Kenmaaaaaa......”** Whined the athlete in exasperation. “You’re really gonna make me say it?”

“Just say it, Shōyo. I have no clue what you’re talking about.” The two of them started placing the items on the belt. “Why did you reject him?”

Hinata did that groaning, hands-up thing again but luckily he didn’t make anything drop this time.

“Ugh! He’s out of my league, Kenma! Guys like that always are! I’ll only set myself up for disappointment!”

Hesitating before placing down the final beer case, Kenma frowned even deeper than he usually does.

He didn’t like to hear his friend say that one bit. And even though Kozume knew Shōyo to be insecure sometimes it was very, **_very_** rare. He was a confident guy, even when it came to romance— but Kozume noticed that things changed slightly with Hinata after........

_“Hey. Does this have anything to do with what happened with that guy you met at that bar...?”_ The blonde showed his ID to the cashier just as the ginger grew quiet.

“Having a party?” Asked the cashier, his eyes flirty while he stared at Kenma and handed back his ID.

Thankful for how pretty his friend is so that he could save himself from immediate mortal destruction, Hinata rounded the belt and picked up the bags of alcohol while Kenma let **yet another** guy down.

“Not really your business, is it?” Asked the attractive blonde, not meaning to be rude—hes just blunt like that.

The cashier’s eyes lit up as if he liked em’ sassy. His name tag read Kazuki Maruyama, a name that Kenma can recall as one of the guys talking to themselves in Kozume’s Instagram dms.

The cashier smiled.

“Nah, you’re right. But I’d love for **_anything_** having to do with you to _**become**_ my business,” Kazuki winked. “What do you say?”   
  


Annoyed that his very serious conversation with a friend he barely sees has been interrupted, Kozume taps his card as payment then walks away in silence, not giving the guy an answer.

Shoyo tried holding in his laughter until they got outside. He used to be a tiny bit jealous that his anti social blonde friend could capture so much attention wherever he went, but more than that it kind of made the ginger’s heart swell with pride that his good friend who tried to get buried in a crowd couldn’t always do it, because he was too objectively beautiful.

Shoyo had grabbed all of the bags, and Kenma liked not carrying anything, but his friend was not going to get out of this one.

The two men exited the liquor store and made their way to Hinatas car.

When they finished packing the trunk, Kenma stopped Hinata from jumping into the vehicle with his arm. Even though the blonde may seem distant and unattached to the rest of the world, _which kind works in his favour_ —in reality, Kenma would do just about anything if it meant protecting Hanamaki, Akaashi, or even Shoyo from pain.

**“Tell me.”**

When Akaashi went through his heartbreak two months ago it had hurt Kenma nearly as much, having to see his most stable friend tremble with tears on his shoulder for hours at a time. He and Makki had to take turns being the shoulder to cry on because Kashi’ had **_that_** many tears to cry.

Kozume had been so upset back then that he secretly hacked Akaashi’s ex’s computer from home and contemplated sending the explicit photos Akaashi had to see to everyone his ex has ever known, including their grandparents, but luckily Hiro talked him out of it.

However, that thirst for revenge still stands. 

Kenma only pushed it off to the side, dissatisfied and promising himself that if Akaashi's ex pisses Akaashi off one time though or tries to crawl back into his life with his cockroach ass, those pictures were going to be sent. Kenma didn’t care! His friend’s emotional wellness was of utmost importance to him as he doesn’t know where he would be if he never met those two he calls roommates, and Hinata, too.

**“Answer my question, Shōyo.”** Kenma stated seriously.

Staring into his friend’s golden cat-like eyes for more than 3-seconds made Hinata snap, like it always did.

The redhead nodded, and only Kenma could tell that tears were threatening to make their way out of the gingers eyes.

The same type of post-hack fury began to brew inside Kenma again, seeing his friend cry. Thank God Makki is in a happy relationship.

“Can you tell me what happened? It’s therapeutic to talk about it and you were crying too much on the phone so I’m not sure if I understood it correctly the first time.”

Shoyo nodded, turning to sit on the edge of the open trunk where the bags were. He looked so sad, a very uncharacteristic look on the usual ball of sunshine. Kenma took a seat next to him as Hinata proceeded to explain.

_“I was at this bar called Uni........Brunette or something, A few weekends ago with a few guys on my new professional team. It was really fun! I didn’t have much to drink, but I was buzzed and feeling fuzzy. Anyway, a couple guys on my team knew this one guy that looked like an owl that happened to be there that night too—very handsome—so our groups kind of combined. It was still fun, all the guys were really tall and good looking, but only one of them took interest in me like that. He and I chatted all night and he was absolutely GORGEOUS like KAGEYAMA LEVEL: HAAAAAJSLAM_ **_but it wasn’t his looks that made me like him...._ ** _it was the fact that we were in a crowded bar, all the guys there wanted them to talk to him, but he made me feel.......special. I don’t know how to explain it. I can tell looking back now that he must be super smart because he must’ve figured out then_ _said ev_ _erything I wanted to hear. He Told me I’m great at volleyball and about how awesome my journey is, he said he liked my big smile better than my normal one, and he even told me that I’m super underrated in terms of looks and that he doesn’t know why more guys aren’t approaching me tonight. Kenma, I felt like I was on top of the world—tipsy or not,”_

Beside him, a pissed off Kenma resisted the urge to kiss his teeth, knowing what happened next.

_“So he asked me to go home with him that night to the place he shared with Bo and one other really hot guy that was there, and I really,_ **_really_ ** _wanted to, but Natsu and my mom were coming to visit at 7am the next morning so I couldn’t risk it..... plus I slipped in that I was tired of sleeping around and I’m looking for something a little more..._ **_concrete_ ** _at this point in my life.....as you know, and He was very sad when I told him I couldn’t go to His but then he started telling me all these good spots to take the females in my family and that he still wants to keep seeing me after this because he can see something forming sooo my heart was all_ **_thump thump thump!”_ **

_“Hmmm......”_ Murmured Kozume, visibly annoyed by this Tool in the story.

_“—He texted me every day until I could see him again because I was really busy with the professional team, school, and coaching— and again: he made me feel special. He asked how my day was, sent me volleyball highlights of players my size, he sent me funny Snapchats.... until finally he asked me out again, to go to the carnival or something. I agreed, of course: and that’s the day I sent you like a thousand pictures to help me choose an outfit. I counted down every minute, I was so excited! When he finally picked me up I SHABOPPED into his car and we were off. But this is where it gets interesting._

_I will remind you that the guy is really good looking and nice and I had been soooo horny those past few days, realllyyyy horny so I started teasing him in the car and stuff...... He must have been horny too because he pulled over into an empty parking lot—asked for lots of consent mind you—and I was happy to give it, before we fucked in his backseat.”_

“ **Shōyo**...... _come on,”_ Kenma remarked patronizingly. The cat eyed beauty was the furthest thing from a slut-shamer, **THE FURTHEST,** so do not get him wrong. But sometimes he wished his friends (not Makki, who was just as brilliant at reading through men as he was) knew when they were being played just to get in their pants. Kenma had a bad feeling about Akaashi's ex from the jump, but his warnings fell on deaf ears. Kenma knew Hinata wanted a relationship for the past year now, yet he still gave this guy the cookies without him earning it on the first date. Kozume was a cynical man, so a part of him always thought _‘good for you, play stupid games win stupid prizes’_ but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to feel that way for his three friends.

**When they were hurt, he was hurt.**

“😭😭😭 **Ugh I know. I shouldn’t have let him fuck me!!!!!!!** It was soooo good though....like BL-“

“DO NOT say _blam_ , again.”

“Sorry. Anyway, after we had sex I was putting on my clothes and I was getting excited for the carnival! He was even faster at dressing himself and he started driving when I was still putting my shirt on. Which realistically should have been my first clue. Then, I noticed we stopped at a bus station, so I asked him why were here, and he told me that something came up at home........and that he needed to go tend to whatever it was. I was like, _oh okay. That’s fine._ And then there was this long.....awkward silence. Then the guy goes,”

Hinata dropped his voice to imitate a deeper one than his own.

Cue Side-by-side shot of Hinata’s story time and the actual visual of Kuroo speaking in the car that night:

“Hey, uh, you don’t mind um.......getting out here.....do you? Buses come by all the time and I have to rush to that....thing. So....this is the furthest I can drop you.”

Hinatas screen bumped Kuroo’s side off-screen. 

“I felt bad that he had a big emergency so I agreed and jumped out. I was over an hour away from home at that point but I took the bus back. I saw no issue since it was an emergency. But then.......” Hinata paused, looking like he might cry again, but he didn’t.

Kenma was staring intently at his friend. **“But** _ **then.........?”**_ He pushed.

**“But then,** halfway through my bus ride…… I looked at his new IG story, and I saw……I saw him at the same carnival we were supposed to go to, on a date—with another guy. I checked the time stamp and it was legit that exact same time. Then, not even 5 minutes after I viewed it, I was blocked on everything!”

Kenma was seething inside hearing this.

“And it gets worse!” Hinata shook his head. “A few nights later, I was with my friends Tanaka and Noya, and I told them what happened… and they told me that the dude is known for playing with feelings like that and then blocking after he fucks. I was drunk that night and very upset, so I used Noya’s phone to drunk text him. I told him how I feel, that its me Hinata using my friends phone since he blocked me and that I think its outrageous how he acted and still acts and how he is not as cool as I thought he was for pretending he was interested just to get me to put my guard down and spread my legs for him….the message was **long**..... Then I sent it. That night he was back at _Uni Brunchette_ apparently, probably using that big fat brain of his to lure some other romantically insecure loser in like he did me, and he drunk texted back.”

Kenma was still seething, knowing there wasnt an apology written in that text message. “ ** _And what did that say again?”_**

Hinata chuckled in despair. “Uhhh…”

Cue split-screen of Hinata telling the story, and Kuroo at the bar that night, typing with one hand and one eye open because the other hand was used to down a bottle of Heineken. Kuroo paused once while texting to lean in to make out with some unseen man for a few moments, before he completed the text.

“He said, ‘ _shit, so. truth be told I only drive 6/10s home after fk. You were a 5.5/10. Sry, Harrison.’”_

Kenma was on his feet when he heard it again, pacing in front of the trunk of the car.

#  **“What the FUCK is a 5.5?!?! Who died and made him the God of Statistics?! Ugh!!!” Kozume was so angry.**

Hinata tried to settle his friend down. “What I’ve heard about him since then is that he’s notorious for rating guys for attractiveness level on a scale of 1-10. Legend has it he’s never given anyone over an 8 besides his two best friends, which definitely deserve it—but I mean, **_how hard of a marker can you be?! And I—_** Um, you’re getting **_reeeeallly_** red, Kenma. It’s Okay!!! I’m over it, I felt shitty for two weeks but those feelings are done now, like **_wazoom_** **! I promise.** I just know not to accept affection from guys that look like him or Kageyama anymore. I shouldn’t get my hopes up like that for men that look like they were made in labs.”

Shaking his head, Kozume squeezed the bridge of his nose to calm himself.

#  **So let me get this straight. You won’t give this guy Kageyama a chance, who is genuinely interested in you and could possibly make you happy—because a fuckboy that honestly needs his ass kicked, made you feel inadequate?!”**

Kozume couldn’t help but compare this to how the most aesthetically pleasing individual he knows—Akaashi Keiji—has sworn off men fully after he found out his fuckboy ex had been cheating on him relentlessly for years. It wasn’t exactly same, because Hinata only stopped giving chances to guys he deemed out of his league—not all guys—whereas Akaashi was well aware of his beauty.... he just hates all men now. Nevertheless, the SAME commonality amoung both stories exists:

#  **Fuckboys are shit. They are absolutely evil, and they deserve to get what’s coming to them.**

It made Kenma so angry that men as absolutely amazing as the ginger sitting here or the black-haired male preparing a 3-course meal at home would likely miss out on their soulmates because they’ve been so emotionally scarred by guys who think it’s Okay to play with others’ feelings. Kozume never felt this enraged when it came to anything else in his life, including game lags.

“So...... this is the cruel world that hosts love: good people miss out on good guys, and then those terrible guys that caused all the issues _get what…?_ **_To fuck anyone they want, then they settle down and raise sons that are exactly like them!?!?”_** Kenma posed the rhetorical question to the universe. He and Hinata already knew the troubling answer.

_~~Fuck offffffff.~~ _

**No!**

# Someone had to teach them a lesson at some point, **God damnit.**

“Kenma, I just have to protect myself, focus on volleyball…. _Kageyama knows that.”_ Shoyo lied.

The blonde had nothing else to say, as he was so emotionally charged that he was ready to retreat back into his room with his Switch and not talk to anyone else for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately, they were hosting a stupid party.

* * *

**———— Present Night With The Fuckboys————**

“ _A-choo!!_ Man, I can **not** afford to get sick tonight.” Kuroo, standing in his and Bo’s kitchen sneezed into his elbow once more, analyzing his biometrics and settling with the fact that it is possibly just his allergies, because he felt fine.

**“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”**

A blood curdling scream coming from Bokuto’s room made Kuroo forget about his sneezing and drop the dish that he was about to place into the dishwasher. It shattered in the sink, and Kuroo cursed.

“ **Bokuto what the SHIT!”** Washing his hands quickly and not caring about the broken glass for now, Tetsuro skipped drying his hands altogether as he ran to the first door down the hall where Bokuto’s room was. When he threw open the door, thinking he was about to see his roommate dying: in actuality Tetsurō had to duck his head because a pair of pants were heading right for his face. Effectively dodging the pair of jeans, Kuroo stood back up and was graced with the visual of an almost naked owl, bent over with his head buried in his closet, throwing clothes back **as if he was a dog digging a a hole on the beach.** Kuroo’s eyes widened as he looked around Bokuto’s room. It was usually messy, sure. But it literally looked like a hurricane tore through this place right now! THERE WERE CLOTHES **_EVERYWHERE._** Shorts covering his lamp, effectively dimming the room, single shoes on his bed, underwear on his ginormous fish tank, and just about everything else in his closet covering every single part of the wooden floors in here.

Kuroo sighed, knowing his best friends well enough to know **exactly** what was going on here. He decided _**not**_ to kill Bo for making him break that dish tonight—just this once. Taking out his phone, the Raven stepped back to take a good picture of the scene and send it to Mattsun.

Issei answered back in seconds, saying: ‘ _Fuck. Called it, tho.’_

Kuroo smirked reading the text. That lazy fucker _did_ predict a Bokuto freak out mode to this extent.

**“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”**

Kotaro screamed into his closet again, making Kuroo cover his ears.

Okay. This is getting out of hand. Acting quickly, Kuroo grabbed his friend’s arm and pulled a pouty owl out of the closet. “Hey, Kobo ( ~~the nickname only he and Mattsun could use in times like this~~ ), hey man, calm down. Tell me what’s wrong?”

**~~The Raven already knew what was wrong~~. **

The spiker’s bottom lip quivered. “I don’t know what to WEAR!" he shouted, "I am going to see Akaashi tonight, meet my dream guy—and I have fuck all to WEAR, Ku!!! HE—HE—HAVE YOU SEEN HIM!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SHOW MY FACE WITH NOTHING TO WEAR?!” Bo pulled at his hair.

Kuroo took pity on his friend who was obviously freaking out over this, as ridiculous as it may seem. Tetsurō himself wanted to make a good impression tonight too if he was to see his scale-breaker again, so he could definitely relate. He needed to help his best buddy. Which truth be told shouldn’t be too hard at least at first, because if there is one thing Kuroo was good at: _it was telling men what they wanted to hear when it countedl._ He knew precisely how to get his friend out of this.

“Bokuto. All of your clothes are awesome. Do you know who you are? You are one of the Top 5 Aces in Japan, and you can get practically any guy you want. How many times do guys compliment you on your fit choices when we go out!?”

The Owl’s bottom lip stopped trembling as he thought that over. “A lot….” He whispered after a pause.

_**“Exactly!**_ Thats right! **A lot!** And do you know _**why?”**_

Bokuto nodded. “Because I look good…?”

Kuroo nodded, patting his sad friend on the back. “Exactly, and I’m sure Akaashi will think the same thing. You have great style, bro. I bet the first outfit you choose will be the one.”

Bokuto’s mood flipped like a light switch, and he jumped up on both feet. He placed both his hands on his hips to stand in an authoritative pose, his chin aiming up to the sky.

“Hey, hey hey! **You’re right!!** I have awesome style! And I’m a great Ace! Akaashi will love me and want to marry me! Then we will have four kids!”

Kuroo’s smile dropped when he heard the last bits of that sentence. “ _Uh….._ Come on now, Bo, _I didn’t say_ ** _all that_** ….I said Akaashi would—”

The spiker ignored him, pouncing in to his closet and grabbing something off the hanger bar. He was over the moon now, and Kuroo **_might have created a monster……_**

“I think I’ll wear this!” Bokuto exclaimed, showcasing what was on the hanger. “Hot guys can’t resist me when I wear it,”

All the blood drained from Kuroo’s face when he looked at what was displayed, and he froze.

# “Kotaro. **No** ….”

The owl looked confused. “What? Why? You said the first outfit I choose will be the best, I got most of my compliments and instagram likes when I wore this, and even you and Matty ( ~~another nickname only reserved for the trio~~ ) said I looked good in this at the athletic formal last year—“

#  **“YOU DID, KOBO. YOU DID. BUT IT’S A FUCKING TUXEDO?!”** 😲😲😲

Bokuto nodded, spinning the dark grey suit around to inspect it for damage, thinking that’s why Kuroo could be freaking out. “Key word being it’s a really suave tuxedo.”

“That’s not how key words work….”

“Akaashi will like this. I think he will.” Bokuto smiled, putting his hand on his hip again and jutting his chin up proudly.

Kuroo lunged for the suit, about ready to burn it if it meant Bokuto would not step foot near the hot guys’ apartment wearing that. The idea is mortifying, and the Raven wished with all the infinite stars in the universe that his friend wasn’t being serious.

* * *

**Two hours, 6 wrestling matches** ( ~~which Tetsuro lost 5/6 because he wasnt as scrappy as the grey haired boy~~ ), bringing in reinforcements (just Matty) who had to coax Bokuto away from the tux with his favourite meat onigri, and LOTS OF convincing that Akaashi probably wants Kōtarō to save that tux for their first dinner date at an expensive restaurant **LATER** , Mattsun and Kuroo were finally able to get Bokuto into a normal outfit that wouldn’t lose all of their shots with the pretty boy trio if he wore it.

Thank GOD!!!!!

Needless to say, the three fuckboys have not been able to get the three pretty boys out of their minds since the first time they saw them. Akaashi, Kenma, and Hiro lived in these fuckboys' minds rent free.

And **_that’s why_** they were having such a difficult time right now: standing in a circle in Matsukawa’s living room, trying to put their heads together and figure out an excuse they could give Makki, Kenma, and Akaashi as to _**why**_ they needed to go over to their apartment. It’s been 20 minutes already. The struggle is real.

“What if I say I want my flour back?” Offered Issei, running a hand through his wavy locks that looked unbelievable tonight. Unlike Kuroo and Bokuto, it was a miracle whenever Issei put anything else in his hair other than the normal all-in-one shampoo and conditioner, so the fact that he finally used a little product in it to make his waves more pronounced..? It brought him to a whole new level of bored-hot. Kuroo and Bokuto hated how easy it would probably be for him to get the attractive Makki into bed with him when he looked like that…. _Issei was set_ smh.

Kuroo and Bokuto, on the other hand, haven’t even met the brunette and blonde yet, they only saw them briefly earlier today, so it would be a little bit harder of a task for them.

But _fuck if they weren’t up for the challenge._ **Fuck yes.**

“Nah,” The Raven shot that idea down, “They will just give you the flour and then what..? You stand there looking dumb?”

“I could never never look dumb just standing, that’s Bo’s job.”

**“Hey!”** 🥺

Issei chuckled. “I’m kidding, buddy, did I tell you how good you look tonight?”

Bokuto smiled widely, looking down at his casual grey tee shirt, dark jeans, and new kicks. The _**second**_ outfit he picked. “I **do** , don’t I?” The Owl smiled.

“Boys. Focus.” demanded Kuroo, getting ~~a little~~ a lot impatient with how long coming up with a stupid excuse was taking!

“You want to see Kenma-san just as much as I wanna see Akaashi, huh, Ku?”

Nodding like that was the most obvious question in the world, Kuroo bit his lip momentarily. “ **See him?** I want to do a lottttt more than _**see**_ the man…” Kuroo’s eyes glazed over with lust because he started thinking about all the things he’d like to do to the blonde, triggering Issei to make a puking sound.

“Okay. So what are we gonna say?! _You’re_ the genius here!” Mattsun punched his Raven on the arm, making him wince.

# Bokuto gasped, raising his hand like this was class. “OOOOUUUU! WHAT ABOUT WE—“

“No.” The two taller boys said in unison, knowing their Owlish bestie well enough that any idea coming from him was going to be more trouble than it was worth.

“Awww….” Bo’s shoulders slumped disappointingly. Then, Getting another idea, he perked up again.

#  **“WELL WHAT IF I PRETEND THAT—“**

“No.”

Bokuto stomped his foot…..

#  **“Okay......................................THEN how about you guys take this knife🔪 and I—“**

# “No! _And where did you get that KNIFE?!?!?!!_ ”

The darker haired males raised their voice this time incredulously--still in unison. They effectively startled the eldest male, who visibly shrunk. He was teetering on the edge of emo mode, and they could tell. _Uh oh,_ better work fast.

Bokuto put on his signature angry face and huffed. He stomped over to the couch and sat down, grumbling under his breath angrily the whole time. He crossed his arms and turned his back to his best friends, only turning once more to tell them that they better figure it out soon because he wants to see Akaashi **NOW. 🤬**

Sighing, the middle blocker’s cancelled the owl from their discussion, pitting their heads together for the next 10 minutes.

“I say we just ask them to watch the game. Your original thought,” Issei shrugged.

Kuroo tilted his head from side to side in contemplation. “ _Yeah, I guess that could work…_. But like you said: if Makki is the only one into sports then the other 2 might not come..... Um, _**What if we asked them for cooking advice?**_ They’re obviously good at it if they needed flour for some shit that night. In that case, they’d have to come over to show _**us**_ how it’s done, right? If we just act super confused, like we need three sets of hands. And then that will give me enough time to gauge their personalities and **_really_** know what they want to hear. We just need Bokuto to use that boyish charm on them because they’ll see through our bullshit if we pretend to be lost but that’s Bo’s brand— Right **, Bo?”**

Directing their attention to the person they bumped out of their conversation not too long ago, both fuckboys turned to the couch where their third member is sitting.

# Or **was** sitting.

Oop.

Having the same thought, the the middle blockers **PANICKED** , quickly shouting for their friend, who wasn’t answering while making their way to the door. Sure enough, it was cracked open, which it had not been before.

“Holy fuck,” Mattsun whined, sprinting out the door with Kuroo in search for their lost puppy.

Both of them spotted Bokuto in front of Makki, Akaashi and Kenma’s door with a hand raised, **so they raced over before he—**

**_Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock Knock ✊ Knock_ **

Like an annoying child’s game, Bokuto knocked on their door and _didn’t_ **stop 🤦**. He sounded like a bloody woodpecker!!! Man oh man oh man oh man.

The obnoxious knocking was so mortifying to hear that it stopped the middle blockers in their tracks, 3 quarters down the hall, closer to Bokuto than Mattsun’s place in their failed attempt to stop Kōtarō.

#  **Oh Dear God.** 😩, they thought.

The two dark haired males just about shit themselves, they were absolutely frozen in place, **just a hair too late** —only able to watch what was sure to be a train wreck.

While they couldn’t see from their distance or angle, they could heard the door open and they could clearly see Bokuto’s eyes light up like he had just been handed 1 million dollars. That look alone told them _ **exactly**_ who answered the door.

“Akaashi!” 😆😆😆🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 Bokuto bounced on his feet excitedly. The Owl’s mood brightened the entire hallway, it’s unnatural. “Akashi, Hiiiiiiii!” He practically squealed. 

Kuroo and Mattsun exchanged frightened glances with eachother, sharing a look that read: **Oh us? Ya, we are dead.** _Lost our chance before it even started._

“Uh....How do you know _**my name**_? Do I know you?” Asked/snapped a smooth voice which was obviously Akaashi standing in his doorway. Bokuto almost fainted hearing the _should-be-a-GQ-model’s_ voice for the first time. He was so enthralled he didn’t even realize what Akaashi had asked him. Kōtarō didn’t care.

# Because Bokuto was going to do it. He was going to just propose, conventional waiting period before an engagement **be damned!**

“Akaashi, I—“

Suddenly, a voice that Kuroo didn’t recognize but a voice that made Matsukawa’s dick twitch was thrown in the mix, heard close to where Akaashi was standing, interrupting whatever Kōtarō was about to say.

“What’s goin on?”

“I don’t know, **Makki.** What the hell is—“

“Be nice, Kaashi,’ please! _Is that any way to speak in front our guests?”_

“I don’t know him, and he knows my name, and—“

“He knows your name because **I invited our neighbours to this get together.** Slipped a note under their door to let them know to come to Kenma, Makki _and_ **Akaashi’s** little get together! Is it a crime to be a friendly neighbour, _bitterkaashi_?? I mean, you’re scaring all of our neighbours away what with your constant glares and scowls, anyway—so I have to let them know that we **_don’t_** want to suck their blood _some_ ** _how_** _._ ”

Akaashi must have nodded, because Kuroo and Mattsun watched the only person they could see— Bokuto—visibly relax. He smiled.

“Oh, Okay. They’re early though. I am still cooking,” said Akaashi’s voice, then, judging by the smile fading on Kotaro’s face, he must have walked back to the kitchen.

Still, the hallway boys’ hearts were racing. One minute ago they were brainstorming in Issei’s foyer....and the next moment they were pressed against the hallway wall like modern day Charlie's Angel's. _**What just happened?!**_

Just then, Mattsun stilled next to Kuroo, and not knowing why— Kuroo turned to him, then followed his friends line of sight back to the door, where Makki had now poked his pink head into the hallway, smiling brightly and directly at the two middle blockers.

Hiro waved. “Oh, **hey** , neighbour!” Hiro’s eyes then glued to Matsukawa, making his heart skip a beat. Whether his heart skipping a beat was due to the near social-death experience he’d just narrowly escaped at cause of Bokuto **or** for some other reason, Issei did not know.

“I’m glad you got my invitation! Come on. You guys are a little early, but you can chill and watch the game until the rest of our guests arrive. I gather these are your two _ex-roommates but current best friends_ that you were telling me about?”

Kuroo had to nudge his frozen friend inconspicuously, who was brought back to life by the nudge. Mattsun cleared his throat and nodded. “Y-yeah! I mean: yes. That them. Friends This them is. Them that is my friends,”

“Learn Japanese, please.” Kuroo muttered under a fake cough.

_“Shut up,”_ Issei hissed back, annoyed.

Hiro’s smile widened and he waved the two gentlemen over again. “Like I said: come in. Don’t just stand in the hallway like freaks,”

Kuroo and Mattsun took that advice: Mattsun hearing the term ‘freak’ come out of his handsome neighbour’s mouth and thinking that he has no idea how much of a _**freak**_ 👅 he really is, and thinking that he’d be _**more than happy**_ to allow Makki to find out one day. Or, tonight. Or, **now.**

Kuroo, as cool as cucumber because everything worked out, happily walks the rest of the way to the apartment to step inside, introducing himself first. Mattsun was just a little slower to follow. Once everyone was inside and Issei was the only one at the door with the pink-haired beauty, Issei leaned down to whisper in Makki’s ear:

“ _Get-together invitation?_ Dude, how do you think so fast?? **You’re incredible.** I totally owe you one.”

Makki smiled, leaning in to to whisper as well, giving Issei goosebumps when the citrus scent fo Hiro’s gum fanned his face. _~~Issei~~ ~~wanted that vey same gum in his mouth~~. _

“I owed you one, for the flour, remember? So I guess you can call us _even_ now.” That mischievous glint in the Pink haired man’s eyes returned, and Issei wanted a picture of it.

“Besides,” Makki continued, “I’ve seen the face of a boy that is about to embarrass themselves in front of **The** Angel-face **Akaashi Keiji** a million times before. I can spot it a mile away now. _Thought I’d save the poor guy some dignity.”_

Issei nodded, eternally grateful. “Thank you so so so much. My friends are, um……”

“Dude, don’t even worry about it. What are neigbz for!? I actually _**was**_ going to invite you to this anyway, but I realized I didn’t get your number yesterday, so I was gonna take the long ass journey it takes to go over to your place, so this all works out anyway! You’re just early. Want something to drink?”

Issei smirked. He stopped whispering because being so close to Mr. Hancutexy was making him horny. ~~Hornier~~.

“Great. And yes, sure. May I have a—“

“—let me guess. This is one of my secret talents!” Hiro looked at Issei from under his eyelashes, sizing him up from head to toe and then meeting their gazes back up at his face. “Guinness.”

The brunette almost sputtered. “How-How did you—?!“

Ignoring the fact that Hiro just purposely checked him out, Mattsun’s jaw dropped. A guy who protect his friends, _**AND**_ knows his beer? **Please please pleaseeeeee God, let me get in between those legs soon.** _I promise to spoil the fuck out of this man and I will love it, too._

“I told you, it’s one of my many secret talents ;).” Makki winked at Issei.

Dick twitching again—at this rate Issei might have to go back home to change in to tighter underwear. **Hanamaki Takahiro was just too attractive.**

“By the way, Akaashi is making dinner for everyone--he’s the best cook in the world--and Kenma is out getting groceries and liqs.”

Inside the stunning apartment that did NOT seem like they just moved in last week, Bokuto scanned the apartment quickly before resting his eyes on the beautiful creature that is Akaashi Motherfucking Keiji. “You have a beautiful home,” remarked Bokuto, unable to tear his eyes away from Keiji who is wearing a purple apron over casual sweats with a headband on his head to keep his hair out of his eyes. Keiji ignored him.

Bokuto had to take a moment to collect himself anyway, because the combined impact of being in this home + the man standing over there **+** the mouthwatering scent of killer Japanese food that’s assaulting Kotaro’s nostrils.......... _ **cooked by that man IN his home;**_ honestly made Bokuto feel slightly light headed.

The model had all four burners on, moving around as flawlessly as a symphony orchestrator, and Bokuto thought he looked absolutely stunning. Once Bo recovered, he bounced over in his muse’s general direction. “Ou! Akaashi, do you need any help making dinner?! I can help!” 🤩

“Oh, sure. That’s very kind of you to offer your help……uh…sorry, _I didn’t catch your name…?”_

Bowing quickly, the grey headed boy said, “Bokuto Kotaro. _At your service.”_ The owl quickly made his way to the sink to wash his hands.

Keiji nodded warmly, welcoming the help.

# “Well, it’s very kind of you to offer to help, **Bokuto-san,”**

Akaashi bowed back shortly.

Hearing the man of his dreams say his name like that, Bokuto visibly swooned, he was blushing like crazy while he washed his hands, and as Kuroo watched from his place on one of the brand new couches, he was glad that Akaashi was too busy with the food to see how whipped this grey-headed stranger was for him already.

Kuroo shook his head at the way his roommate picked up guys. ~~No wonder they fell for him!~~ Bo offered to help them out and shit. Kuroo didn’t think you should do that when all you want to do is fuck. It gives off the wrong impression. They call it the **hit-it-and-quit-it** technique for a reason!

Anyway, for the next 20 minutes, Tetsuro made himself comfortable, turning on the game on their big screen tv and kicking his feet up, both of which being a cover up to Tetsurō’s devising of a plan that he will use to get Kenma into his bed. Tetsuro thought about those big cat-like eyes and healthy blonde hair he’d seen earlier today. Kuroo wanted to see what those eyes looked like fluttered closed when he was being fingered, and Kuroo wanted to take that hair tie out of that low bun and pull on that blonde hair while Kenma rid his dick backwards, **_shiiiittttt._** Kuroo has never wanted to fuck someone _so badly_ before _,_ and maybe the desire was being heightened because the anticipation was killing him. Kenma was coming here soon, and Bokuto and Mattsun were already chatting to their _desired hottie_ , meaning Kuroo was just sitting there like a 5th wheel.....

What gives?

Any second now, the blonde would walk in here and Kuroo would be one second closer to pounding into that tight hol—

The door handle jiggled at that moment.

Gasping embarrassingly, ~~good thing no one noticed~~ Kuroo spun himself around on the couch so that he was facing the door.

# Here he comes……

The scale-breaker. 

The most beautiful man that Tetsuro has **ever** laid his eyes on. The **only** person the Raven could foresee himself banging for years and never getting tired of because he’s just that fucking pretty.

# The door handle turned.

#  **Here.**

#  **He.**

#  **Comes!**

The door croaked open, then pushed open, and in walked the person who has taken over Kuroo’s thoughts, hormones and ratings for the past several hours, **yes!**

_“People are already here?”_ Kenma asked, stepping inside to drop the bags he carried from the liquor store. Kuroo spun back around quickly so it didn’t look like he was watching the blonde like a hawk.

Makki’s smooth voice could be heard over Kuroo’s shoulder. “Yeah. You already know Matsun, our neighbour that told us about this brunch place earlier! And these are his two friends. Bokuto over there…… and……”

Kuroo stood up, ready to greet his blonde hottie and talk his way into his pants like he became an expert at doing with guys he wanted: starting with a great hello.

“—That’s Kuroo.” Hiro finished, pointing in the Ravens general direction.

Turning around with his signature breathtaking smile, it actually ended up having a reverse effect, because it was Tetsuro’s breath that felt taken away from him when he fully spun around,

##  **And NOT in a good way.**

Because while Kenma was here…………..

he was not alone, _and_

_And well_...........

#  **And Kuroo was screwed.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: I haven't shared this fic with my Tumblr yet, so y'all heard it here first!!!
> 
> Again, if you would like me to continue-- I'm not afraid to admit that I need to hear from you guys. It really motivates me so tysm in advance. 
> 
> This episode was almost 10K words long, so if it takes me longer the length is the reason. Each part should read like an episode of a tv show :)
> 
>  **ALSO: IF ANYONE IS AN AVAILABLE BETA OR KNOWS OF ONE I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE YOU SENDING THEM MY WAY AS IT'S VERY HARD TO DO BOTH.** Merci in advance!  
> -
> 
> As always, Find me on [Tumblr](https://shhhlikeme.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/shhhlikeme) if you'd like to chat about this series! :)  
> 


	3. EPISODE 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUROO! <33333 I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE IN THIS SERIES!
> 
> This is going to be 2-part update! There was too much drama to stuff into one episode, so buckle up! Thank you so much for all the support for my drama, I love writing it and I am so glad that I get to update twice tonight and you guys get to see all the smoke!! 
> 
> If you are reading this in real-time, it will take me about an hour or 2 to post the next part--but it will be up tonight. 
> 
> I would love to hear about what y'all think after these 2 episodes so please, if you like it and want more, leave kudos/comment. 
> 
> if you ever wanna talk about this series tweet or send me an ask on Tumblr, I think it's sooo amazing that some of you have reached out....and as always your comments are what pushes me to continue and put time aside to write this during my Master's studies. Means a lot, truly.

**In Shōyo’s Voice:**

**“ Previously, on**

**Fuckboys, You Might Wanna Sit Down For This: "**

_ Kuroo to Mattsun: _

_“Dude dude dude dude dude!!!!!!” Kuroo started before he’d even reached the table. “Who the **FUCK** was that!”_

_ Akaashi to Hanamaki: _

_“Save it. Whether he’s a Mover or a fucking Surgeon, I don’t care. Men suck, and that’s that. Just... make sure you continue to be nice to that neighbour that can’t help but eye-fuck you, okay? His bag of flour was literally the most prestigious flour I’ve ever seen, Gordon Ramsey type ingredients, so we might need him to be our grocery store on other occasions, okay?.”_

_Hanamaki nodded, smiling at both of his friends._

_ Makki to Issei: _

_“Do you have flour..? We need like, 3 cups, max. And then when we go shopping tomorrow my roommates and I will buy you back a new bag.”_

_ Kenma to Shoyo: _

_“So….. good people miss out on good guys, and then those terrible guys that caused all the issues get: what…? **To fuck anyone they want, then they settle down and raise sons that are exactly like them!?!?”**_

_ Akaashi to Bo: _

_“Well, it’s very kind of you to offer to help, **Bokuto-san,”**_

_ Hiro to Kenma: _

_“Yeah. You already know Matsun, our neighbour that told us about that brunch place earlier! And these are his two friends. Bokuto over there…… and……”_

_Kuroo stood up, ready to greet his blonde hottie and talk his way into his pants like he became an expert at doing with guys he wanted: starting with a great hello._

_“—That’s Kuroo.”_

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 2**

* * *

Kuroo thought he would break out into a cold sweat when he saw Kenma enter the apartment with company.

There was one more male with him, that Kuroo briefly recognized, and it made Kuroo freeze where he was. 

_A 5.5/10.......next to his scale-breaker._

Kuroo wanted him to get away from Kenma.

And not because of **_who_** it was. Rather, it was what the guy was doing to _**his**_ blonde. The minimally taller male had an arm draped around Kenma’s shoulder protectively, and the shorter man did not seem to mind as he looked up at him as if he....liked being in his presence. 

_Who the fuck is that and why is he so close to my scale-breaker,_ Kuroo growled in his mind. 

Mattsun coughed in that moment, effectively snapping Kuroo out of his alpha male reverie, looking like someone was trying to steal his mate from him. Not a good look on a first meeting. Having received warning eyes from one of his best friends like Issei used to do when they were in high school and Kuroo was doing something out of the ordinary, Tetsuro actively softened his expression before looking back down at the man he’s been dying to see all day. 

“Hey.” Kozume said in a soft voice, obviously meaning for the tiny greeting to be accepted by the whole room. 

## Kozume didn’t recognize anyone.

Tetsuro held his tongue, not wanting to get a restraining order by rudely asking who the shit this kid was next to him, with his arm still draped around the shoulder that is a part of _**the**_ body that **_he_** should realistically be claiming in bed tonight. 😤

“You can uh... take your arm off of me now. These are just my roommates.” Mutters the blonde, looking up at his guest. 

The guest listened, stepping back sheepishly when he met Kuroo’s gaze.

“Ken, who’s this? You brought another friend?” Starts Hanamaki cheerily, and Kuroo watched as the man looks over at the Pinkie, his eyes widening, obviously struck by his attractiveness as well. 

“No, Shōyo wasn’t feeling well, so I told him he should go home and rest.”

Wait, so they don’t know this kid? Even worse! Kuroo’s eyes unintentionally meet in the middle as he sized the fella up, taking in very light brown hair and an overall ordinary face and body—he could be a poster child for _5.5s/10 everywhere. So_ Why was he so close to Kenma, then?

Mattsun coughs encore, an indication that Kuroo needs to stop looking like the grim fucking reaper--and now. Kuroo fixed his face yet again, listening intently to the beautiful blonde’s explanation.

“Oh. This is Kinoshita....I um, met him downstairs when some guy wouldn’t leave me alone after Shoyo dropped me off. He was walking into the building as well and I like, called to him as if he was my...boyfriend. Luckily he went along with it and the weird guy left.”

The faintest blush tickled the upper parts of Kenma’s cheeks and as soon as the Raven saw the adorable coloration cover that skin...... any negative emotion he had welling up inside dissipated and was replaced by pure adoration from seeing such a cute sight. 

So his scale breaker is shy....

Shy and oh so cute. 

Kuroo was going to hyperventilate because Kenma couldn't be any more perfect! Exactly his type....but better.

Takahiro walked over to his blonde best friend and the stranger. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Wow, thank you so much for protecting our dearest Kenma, Kinoshita-san. Do you live around here, then?” 

The newbie known as Kinoshita nodded, obviously a timid guy himself-- _not that Kuroo cared_ \--letting Makki know that he also lived in this student building. On the 1st floor. 

_**Fuck, does the entire world live here except for KoBo and me?!**_ Kuroo thought enviously.

**_He_** wanted to ~~purposely~~ run into Kenma in the lobby. _**He**_ wanted to pretend to be Kenma’s boyfriend.. **_He_** wanted to be the one to scare Kenma’s admirers off and hopefully get some reward sex in return. _**He—**_

“Great!” Makki reached forward to tug gently on the shorter male’s long sleeves with a brilliant smile on his face.

_He really is cute, that 9/10_ , Kuroo thought. _No wonder Mattsun hasn’t been able to stop looking at him as if he had been bitten by a radioactive spider that gave him x-ray vision._ Kuroo did not miss the way that his perpetually bored-looking friend tensed up at the flirty action his neighbour had done to this stranger. 

_Oh how the tables have turned 😈........_

“You should totally come to our get together tonight, then!” Hanamaki smiled and the boy smiled back, almost instinctively, forgetting to answer for a bit because Hanamaki and Kenma are hot.

“UH-uh.....” Said the poor guy, shocked by the beautiful man he’d just pretended to be the boyfriend of and now another beautiful man smiling at him like he just saved their cat from a burning bush. 

~~an accurate story indeed~~

_At least his admiration was off of his scale breaker right now,_ Kuroo thought evilly. 

“Takahiro-san,” Called Akaashi as he handed Bo the spatula and turned to his roommates, taking off his oven mitts and showing his face to the new boy. The faintest hitched breath could be heard from the poor guy as Akaashi walked over so that he was completing a triangle of really pretty, pretty-boys surrounding the man called Kinoshita. Akaashi placed both his hands on his hips.

“ _So are we just going to invite every person you two pick up off the street here tonight?”_

“No....... but you just gave me an idea! **Let’s make it a party!” 🙌**

“No!” Exclaimed the den mum and the gamer in unison to their over-joyous friend. 

“We could get kicked out in our first week!” Kenma reasoned.

“I only made dinner for 10!” Keiji added.

The Pinkie huffed in a way that reminded Kuroo of Kobo. “Oh, but they’d come over much later than dinner time, Kashi, and at which time I can get neighbour over there to recommend us his pizza place, he’s 2 for 2 with the food recommendations and they seem to love him so maybe we’ll get a discount--” Makki turned around swiftly to wink at Issei standing alone much further into the living room. Issei nodded like an absolute dork (by Kuroo’s analysis).

Tetsurō noted that he’s never seen Mattsun show another expression than a bored look for so long before. It’s unsettling to see. _what the....._

“And Kenma, I won’t make it a party per se, so that it doesn’t get too loud. I’ll limit it to students on our floor. Are you really gonna not let this man you coerced into pretending to be your bf, not come to our kickass get together?!”

Kenma’s eyes flicked to Kinoshita, who was standing in the middle of these three hotties with a face as red as a strawberry. Clearly, he was overwhelmed due to standing in the middle of three absolute hottie-Gods among men.

_“Same, buddy. Same.”_ Kuroo muttered to Issei who had just sauntered over to stand next to him—so close that their shoulders were brushing. The two tall men had long perfected their informal resume-worthy skill of speaking to one another without drawing attention to themselves or moving their lips enough to be discovered.

Issei nodded.

“Fine. _Whatever.”_ Kenma shrugged disinterestedly, giving in. The expression on his face made Kuroo want to show him a few things to spark that interest, make those big beautiful eyes light up. There’s a lot he could do to make those golden eyes roll back, he was sure of it. _God, Kenma is so pretty!_

“But I’m going to bed when I want,” Kenma finished, turning to disappear into the hallway of their apartment, where the bedrooms were.

Hanamaki visibly beamed. “Thanks, Kenma! ...Kashi?”

Akaashi shook his head with a straight face.

“Kash, pleaseeeeeeeeeee? None of us have class on Monday and you can do a headcount, I’ll be the best host and tell everyone to be out by 1..... only people on this floor. Promise.” The Pinkie gave puppy dog eyes to his model looking friend.

Akaashi crossed his arms in defiance, meanwhile Mattsun watched Makki pleading and leaned in ever so slightly to his friend.

“Imagine him asking for my dick with that face,”

Kuroo almost laughed. “He’d never need to ask you,” he stated, a matter of fact. 

Tetsurō knew at this point that if any of the men that occupied this apartment asked for sex from his best friends it wouldn't be much of a thing for them to think about before saying yes.....

##  **Look at them.**

“True, true.”

“Fine.” Akaashi states, making his way toward the kitchen to pick up where he left off beside Bokuto. “But you must invite boys **and** **girls. If I sense too much testosterone in here I’m calling the night off.”**

“Haha, Bet! Thank you so much, Kashi, and Kenma! Especially because I already invited the floor🤗....but you should come, Kinoshita, and bring your roommates, if you have them, obviously. Come back for 10ish!”

In the distance, Kuroo’s ears perked up because the sound of a shower started running. Tetsurō bit back a fucking groan, he already hadn’t been able to stop fantasizing about fucking that gorgeous blonde in the shower since this afternoon, and now SAID gorgeous blonde was _**actually**_ showering what, maybe 3 doors away from him right now?

How good would his scale-breaker’s uninterested expression look with lidded eyes and soaking wet eyelashes? Shit. _If Kuroo was in there with him he wouldn’t waste much time before he was hiking a milky leg up, grabbing a handful of ass, and—_

“Wanna salivate some more over the sound of a faucet, Tetsu?” Issei murmured with a smirk in his tone.

“Shut up. Glad to see you’ve learned Japanese now Mr. “Friends are we here I.”

Embarrassed by the memory, Mattsun immediately elbowed Kuroo in the rib, hard, making Tetsurō sputter as his lazy friend walked away to his precious Hanamaki before the Raven could hit him back.

_Lazy little shit,_ Kuroo thought. He shoved away the thought that after so many years of friendship with his Owl (Bo) and Sloth (Mattsun), he had never been able to make fun of them for acting stupid with guys they were interested in because guys practically fawned over them. They got whatever they wanted from relationships, and they never had to try very hard to get it... so this was new territory.

Kuroo shoved that thought away because while this was _new_ territory....

He had a strange feeling that this was not _good_ territory. 

* * *

2 hours later, after an absolutely amazing dinner made by Akaashi ft. A starry-eyed Bokuto....

Kenma, Akaashi and Hanamaki's apartment was comfortably filled with college students, semi-well dressed as if they were going to the bars downtown (jeans and nice tops), filled to the point where there was enough room to comfortably move between people but not enough room to like, a find a seat on the couch immediately or anything.

The air was filled with the vibrant murmur of tipsy young adults, every so often you could make out the _‘oh my god, it’s so good to seeee youuuu!!’_ and the _‘CHUG CHUG CHUG!”_ and the _‘ya, I know that Prof, had him last year he’s a total dick’_ but most of the sounds became white noise. You could only truly make out the words of those in the conversation you were in.

Bokuto had seemed to somewhat get through to Ice King Akaashi after helping with dinner, since he was the only guy Keiji allowed in his vicinity all night. Akaashi stationed himself in the kitchen, and he was giving death glares to all the other males who dared approach him, half because he didn’t want anyone messing with his good dishes, the other half because he hated boys right now. Nevertheless, Akaashi’s rejection-using-his-eyes but allowing Kōtarō to remain close made Bokuto SOOOO happy. The Owl had to hold in his excitement whenever a guy seemed to build up enough courage to address Akaashi--see the look of death he gave them--and then turn on their heels as if they were driving and met a dead-end sign. 

**With strictly friendly Bokuaka:**

Akaashi’s eyes were surveying the happy party-goers, his back against the stove, while Bokuto was busy pretending he was doing so too but really he couldn’t keep his eyes off the man next to him for long.

“So, Kaashi!” Bokuto smiled down at his already-crush.

“My name is Akaashi, Bokuto-san,”

He blushed involuntarily. The Owl **_always_** blushed when he heard his name come from the brunette's mouth. “Sorry, Kaashi. I was u-uh , just going to t-tell you that I like-erm-en-enjoyed making dinner with you tonight, and—“

“I enjoyed it too. Thank you kindly for your aid,”

Bokuto beamed. “You’re welcome! I used to cook with my older sisters all the time, but you were so much nicer than them, they always yell at me if I--”

“ _Look at them.”_ Keiji hissed, arms crossing as he jutted his chin toward a couple in his apartment, dancing to the music that Mattsun had playing through Kenma’s surround sound system. 

Bokuto looked too and thought the couple to be adorable. He wanted to spin Akaashi around like that. “Yeah. They are really cut—“

“Sad, right? Borderline pitiful.”

Bokuto shut his mouth, frowning. “Sad...?” He asked, unsure if he was talking about the same happy couple here or something else. He scanned the crowd for something sad Akaashi could be referring to instead.

“Yes, very sad.”

“What is Kaashi?”

“Oh, well, people who believe in love, of course. It’s sad. It is kind of like the time I saw my nieces and nephews sprint by joyously before they ran into my father dressing up as Santa. They’re about to get that rude awakening that love, like Santa, isn’t real. It’s **sad.** Whether that happens tonight for them, or in 3 years, or in 15 years, who knows? But they’ll figure it out one day, and then this little dance they’re doing will all just be a sad part of their sad discovery. Don’t you suppose?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Bokuto was never really good at distinguishing between those and normal ones. Not to mention it was Akaashi’s words and outlook on love that was making Kōtarō sad: not that happy couple over there wrapped lovingly in each other's arms.

“Um, well.... n-no, not really....”

“Do you have a boyfriend, Bokuto-san?” In his own world, Akaashi interrupted Kobo again, looking up at him for an answer expectantly.

It was the longest eye contact the two males have had since Bo knocked on their door and he thought his knees might give out because— _wooooow_ —-are Akaashi’s eyes actually dark blue, **not black!?**

At this discovery, Bo couldn’t help but alter his reoccurring daydream that consisted of their future children with gray hair and black— _ **now blue--**_ eyes, so that it matched their gorgeous father’s!

Oh my, was Bo looking at an angel?

##  **An angel who wanted to know if he had a boyfriend?!**

“No. No boyfriend! I’ve been asked...a few times! But I never wanted one! But I-I think.......I think that if you ask—“ Bokuto basically yelled, making Akasashi flinch back. Keiji thought Bokuto’s personality was quite humorous, however— so a grin tugged at the right side of his lips. Kotaro stopped because he had scared his Akaashi. 

“Oh! I’m being loud! _Sorry!”_

“It’s fine, perfectly fine. We are at a party after all.” Bokuto’s heart melted at Akaashi validating him. Keiji continued speaking, 

“So, have you **_ever_** had a boyfriend, Bokuto-san?”

Bo shook his head quickly, metaphorically drowning in the soft set of blue eyes behind those serious......ly sexy designer glasses Akaashi wore. Bokuto shook his head again, so hard that he felt his brain shake a tad. Ouch.

“No. Never! I never wanted one until this afternoon when I—“

“ **Good.** You’re incredibly smart, Bokuto-san, even if you do not act like it. I can sense it about you, and **I like that about you.** I think we will get along just fine.”

Akaashi smiled warmly at the older male.

Bokuto thought he might tear up at this promise, hearing Akaashi say that he thinks he’s smart, he likes him, and that they would be friends forever ( ~~huh? when did he say those things?~~ ) made his heart skip 3 beats. Even though the Owl knew that he already wanted more from Akaashi than a friendship, it still made him deliriously happy! Kōtarō had to take a few moments to collect himself after hearing those words. Not to mention: to Bo, Keiji was so devastatingly handsome it was completely unfair and unnerving. What with the dark blue turtleneck and cardigan he wore that matched his eyes, paired with dark jeans and his glasses; Kaashi looked like a really hot librarian and Kōtarō, albeit swarmed with sweet thoughts of his & Akaashi’s future children running about, he couldn’t help but imagine himself fucking Keiji in the library, hearing his moans reverberate and bounce off those tall walls of books like the ones in Beauty and the Beast. _Oh yes, maybe he should call Akaashi Belle!_

Unbothered by the Owl’s lack of response, the beautiful brunette turned back to the crowd, eyeing that couple apprehensively again as they took turns dipping each other and laughing in their drunken states.

“Men like to sell their prospective significant others a dream, don’t you think? I mean.... how well can you really know somebody after you first meet them? I fell way too fast for someone and ended up with my heart stomped on, and it was my own fault for trusting someone so easily. I allowed myself to call him my boyfriend and it was stupid and it’s never happening again. I wish I could warn that girl: _'keep dancing, and he’ll drop you one day'_. But I can't tell her... she probably wouldn’t listen....that’s why I’m telling you; because maybe you will. **95% of guys sell a dream, Bokuto-san. Do not fall for it.** Take it from me, okay? Don’t **ever** get a boyfriend.”

“--Unless you get to know them really well first. Right, Akaashi?” _~~he asked hopefully~~_

Keiji stretched his neck from side to side, considering this. When he took about a minute to decipher a definitive answer, he inadvertently replied,

“ **Honestly,** not even then.” the beautiful brunette shrugged before excusing himself to the bathroom.

Kōtarō watched him leave, partially heartbroken by Akaashi’s depressing advice to never get a boyfriend. While Bo had also been on that no-boyfriend train for other reasons (fuckboy mindset), he now didn’t...correction: **_he now couldn’t_** imagine a future in which Akaashi didn’t become his boyfriend.

While the Owl wanted to give in to his instincts like he usually did when he heard something he didn’t like....as someone with an impulsive personality-type, rather, he couldn’t help but feel sad for the gorgeous brunette. Even Bokuto could tell, without the depressing soliloquies, that Keiji was a semi-shattered man, internally torn by his past heartbreak no matter how put together and librarian-like he may appear.

“Who hurt you, Kaashi?” Bo whispered to himself, sad eyes remaining on the closed bathroom door his muse had disappeared into.

Without knowing him before whatever happened with his ex, Bo still knew that Akaashi was sad.

And he was utterly unprepared by how much that pained him to sense.

He’d just met this man today, for God’s sake! Sure, he was gorgeous, but why did Bokuto **care** about him already?

The feeling was trippy.

##  **But it was real.**

So, right there and then, in a kitchen on the outskirts of this mixer— Kōtarō decided internally that he would be what Akaashi needs in order to make him feel better. To rid the sadness that had Bokuto’s heart in a chokehold. Maybe one day he will share his feelings with Keiji, but that wasn’t a priority right now. It was _making this absolutely amazing man, that seems to put everyone else before himself, that cooks like a professional, that has been so unfairly hurt by his past_ —know what it’s like to be treated well-- _ **and only well**_ \--by a man again. **A real man. Even if it’s just as a friend because that’s all he needs right now, Bokuto would play his role and play it well.**

Akaashi wasn’t wrong about everything he bitterly stated. Bokuto could only imagine the lies someone as stunning as Kaashi had to hear all his life. Everyone wants Akaashi, so Bo had no doubt in his mind that certain guys will tell him that they can give him the world just to have eye candy like him on their arm-- _in their beds_.... **but how many of those guys can really live up to those expectations?** It would just leave Akaashi in a constant state of disappointment that he didn't deserve. 

If Bo wasn’t completely 100% sure that he could give this man a better life, one better than anyone else could give him, then he wouldn’t force it in fear of making Akaashi feel like he sold himself short. No way. Akaashi deserves the best treatment.

From a birds-eye view of that party; When Keiji returned from the bathroom, Bo would have already decided to be the person for Akaashi that Akaashi was to everybody else. He wouldn’t be obvious about it, but he’d take care of his Belle’s heart... starting now. For the remainder of the night, Bo’d also be able to deter incoming men from approaching Akaashi if Bo sensed he didn’t want it—allowing the one or two to approach because it would allow Keiji to be reminded that he was very desired— and Bo would distract Akaashi with stories of the fuckboys trio’s pasts (not delving into the sleeping around bit, just their friendship adventures) and he would actually even make Akaashi chuckle a few times, hell yes! Bo’d do all of that tonight, and tomorrow night, and the night after, and the night after that. And if Akaashi seemed to want him around, then, Bo would be around.

But it would start tonight; as soon as the man with glasses returned from the washroom...

## .....And, well, if Akaashi had used that bathroom break as an escape to cry a little over his broken heart; Kōtarō ‘the heart mender’ Bokuto **pretended** not to notice.

* * *

**With strictly friendly Matsuhana:**

On his way to the bathroom, Akaashi passed a small group of men that Hanamaki and Mattsun were in, in the hallway. Akaashi walking by distracted Makki a little because he saw a glimpse of his friend's face. 

He was about to follow Kaashi into the bathroom but Kaashi saw it coming and gave his best friend a look that said: 

##  **Don’t.**

Makki sighed in defeat, however he was able to put his concern aside until the party was over because Hanamaki was being pulled back into the conversation with the group of men that wanted all his attention over here. Mattsun stood in the centre of the group of people he knew from various things on campus (and some he has never seen before). Issei’s mouth was fairly quiet but his mind was very loud, mind trying to catch up with his dick as he watched Hanamaki’s eyes brighten when he rejoined the conversation after that minor diversion. 

Mattsun could gather that whatever expression Keiji had made, now held part of Makki’s mind, since his smile wasn’t as bright as it was a second ago. Makki made a joke in response to what they pulled him back in for, and the group erupted in laughter, including Mattsun who felt his shoulders shake slightly from his own chuckle. He couldn’t even deny how fucking hilarious this gorgeous, pink-haired, 6’0” man was.

The Pinkie was a gracious host, Mattsun concluded. He was in complete awe of just how likeable— ~~is weird to say lovable...?~~ Hiro is, giving off the vibes of a friend’s cool ~~hot~~ older sibling that buys them beer even though he was the same age as all of them. His smile and energy just brightened the room, and his crude humour and potty mouth was a fascinating contrast to his soft external appearance: gentle chestnut eyes and very beautiful pink hair, his long bangs naturally curling slightly atop his eyebrows. He was absolutely _engaging, delightful, and_ ** _sexy as fuck!_** Issei thought this, and judging by the way the guys and girls in whichever group he stood in looked at Makki like he was one of those _comedian/handsome movie stars that could insult people all they wanted but were so pretty everyone actually liked it_ , Matsukawa gathered that the entire party thought so too. Makki had a way with words, even though he was new to the campus he comfortably made his rounds in the party like the host he needed to be, making everyone feel right at home and guessing their favourite beers correctly as a little party trick.

_Who's gonna tell him he doesn’t need to showcase that trick when the_ **_REAL_ ** _trick was the look on people’s faces: male and female, when Makki_ **_pointed out the three occupants of this house._ **

“ _ **Those**_ are your roommates?” They would ask Makki when he pointed to them in two separate areas of the party. Cue the back and forth glances from Makki ---> to Kenma --> back to Makki --> to Akaashi --> back to Makki— **and repeat.** Then, cue the visible gulp of whoever Makki was introducing himself to because they weren’t really sure if Hanamaki was serious or not.

_What is it with this school and gorgeous trios?_ They would ask themselves.

Anyways, from Issei’s point of view in the hallway with his beer and some buddies, he concluded that Mr. Hancutexy himself simply excited everyone he came in contact with, and..... despite how tired he may appear, of course, Issei was **no** exception.

Mattsun’s took another swig of his beer that Makki had gotten him, leaning his head back with the rest of his body supported by the wall behind him in their freakishly clean house. _Did they repaint? Because my apartment a few doors down looked nothing like this when I moved in._ When Issei’s head fell back like this, he was looking down at Makki through the slits of his eyes and the Pinkie, being the little shit that he is, just had to call him out on it.

“Aw, tired already, neighbz? Pizza guy drain all your energy last night?”

Some of the group of 8 or so men turned from Makki to Issei with knowing smiles on their faces as if to say _oooh: caught_. Issei was not rattled. 

_So what if everyone knew Issei liked to have sex? Didn’t everyone in College?_

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Mattsun responded back slowly, resisting the urge to bite his bottom lip when Hanamaki bit his at his remark.

“Nah......I wouldn’t. I just think it wouldn’t kill you to show a little emotion every now and then. Look a bit more excited to be here, you know? You’re not in the class you probably never go to right now.”

“OOOOUUUUUU,” said the boys false-dramatically, laughing.

Issei quirked an eyebrow at his attractive neighbour. 

_Show a little more emotion, he says?_

Issei was more than ready to show _a lot more_ emotion with the Pinkie if the Pinkie wanted to ditch this party and go down on him. Mattsun just knew that if those pink lips of his were wrapped around his huge cock, the look of it **alone** would have him having one of those earth-shattering orgasm that break Mattsun out of his perpetually uninterested state I M M E D I A T E L Y. Oh....oh, yes.

**But he couldn’t tell Hiro that.** At least not now. So he settled with responding,

“Sorry to break it to ya, but this is just my face.”

The group chided in then, agreeing and speaking for Mattsun as he smirked, thankful for his popularity at times. Makki nodded incomprehension at them before settling into an easy smile.

“Okay, if they vouch that that’s just how you are, neighbz....then I guess I _will_ invite you to another party in the future. I had kicked you off my mental list already, so, be happy.”

Mattsun just nodded, mostly because that easy smile of Hiro’s made him want to grab his face and kiss him, so a nod was the safest option. 

The Pinkie punched his arm, now addressing the group, “he owes you all a drink, boys! You guys got him off the hook this time for looking like a damn robot.”

Even when he insulted him, Issei wanted to kiss him sooooo bad.

The group laughed, including Mattsun heartily, easily falling back into a discussion that Hanamaki orchestrated, giving everyone an opportunity to speak and stimulating the conversation. Issei watched, head still leaned back, answering when he could, and kinda wishing that this party would never end. Despite what he looks like, Issei enjoys being around a lot of people. And even though Ku and Bo were sleeping over tonight, Mattsun had an inkling that for the first time he’d probably still feel a little bit of emptiness with his bros.... because Hiro wouldn't be with him. Their humour, banter, and just everything just _**meshed.** It was like having a best friend that you wanted to creampie every night. The feeling was strange. Issei couldn’t help but think that if he knew Makki back in high school, they would probably be inseparable. _Hiro liked being around others too, _obviously, and_ it was nice seeing the Pinkie in his element like this at a party, though Mattsun was strangely certain that just about any element would be Makki’s element. He just had a very versatile personality that flourished everywhere. It was very attractive.

_As if Issei needed to be even more attracted to the man than he already was...._ fuck this.

About half an hour of bro-chat later, it was time for Makki to make his rounds again to visit all groups and make sure everyone was enjoying themselves. So, he left the group with another joke to sate them before he returned, this group clearly being his _‘home base’_ of the party. It pleased the middle blocker.

Matsukawa didn’t want to get his hopes up--really, he didn’t--but he couldn’t help but think that this was the group Hiro decided to spend most of his time with because the middle blocker ** _himself..._** was in this group.

Takahiro left the boys on a high note, telling them how he owns a cat that likes to disappear so he has to go find him before he starts scratching people, and then says **“oh, there he is!”** before proceeding to make his way over to Kenma-san, walking out of earshot.

“HAHAHAHADUDEHA. **Yo, what the fuck.** I don’t even know if I’m laughing because I find what the new freshmen says **actually** funny, or simply because he’s so hot.” A man on Issei’s team named Yamamoto Taketora vocalized worriedly, a confused frown taking over his whole face.

“Worse,” uttered Kinoshita, staring over at the combined beauty of Kenma and Hanamaki, clearly taking part in a conversation in which Takahiro was begging Kenma to do something. Kinoshita sighed before finished his sentence, a blush coating his cheeks. “It’s both: He’s _**actually**_ really funny, and he’s _**actually**_ super hot. I can’t believe they live in our building,”

Mattsun nodded in agreement, taking a swig of his beer with his eyes on-- _ **surprise, surprise**_ \-- Makki. Hiro left Kenma who made his way to his room and he was now casually jumping from group to group again, smiling at them happily and making them laugh. Everyone within his reach seemed so happy to be around him. Mattsun reckons it’s another one of the Pinkie’s secret talents: his energy makes people feel good. Mattsun loved it, admired him for it. He wanted him to come back to this group again. _To make him feel good again._

_You getting soft on me?!_ A part of Matsukawa’s brain screamed. _The other part shrugged._

“What do you think, Issei? You’re probably the only guy here that has a shot with Takahiro-san. Y’think he’s hot?” Asked Yamamoto before finished his own Tom Collins drink that Kenma had made earlier.

Issei glanced down at his teammate with the yellow mohawk lazily, smirking somewhat. “Do I look like I’m that Tsukishima kid that tried out last week that needs goggles to see?..... **I’m not blind,** Moto. _Makki is so.........”_

The middle blocker’s eyes found Makki in the party again, talking to a few couples that sat on the freakishly long sectional couch, he was standing behind them which meant he was bending over the couch’s back to poke his head in the centre of the couples. The couples shifted their bodies to give Makki their undivided attention, seeming so happy to have him there that it was as if the Pinkie was putting everyone he came in contact with under a spell of captivation and charisma. But _obviously_ —knowing Mattsun— a captivating spell _**wasn’t**_ what he cared much about.....not when: as mentioned: Makki was bending over. _Damn damn damn._....... He was wearing a hoodie again, a grey one that Issei now knew that Hiro liked to stuff his hands into, but the Pinkie opted not to pair it with a pair of small shorts this time ( ~~much to Issei’s dismay~~ ). Instead wearing those Adidas training pants that FIFA⚽️ athletes wear over their shorts that are almost as tight as leggings, but have the material of sweatpants. Either way, they were black with 2 white stripes down the sides and when Makki bent over like that they hugged his ass **very** nicely. **INCREDIBLY nicely,** actually. 

What can he say, the pants combined with the bend made Issei want to worship that ass, 🤷. 

When Makki said something that required movement because he wiggled his ass as he explained a story, all the boys watching him in Mattsun’s group let out a small, appreciative groan in approval.

Like it was late because Issei was learning to control his hormones--his dick twitched. Mattsun licked his lips, staring intently at his neighbour’s backside.

“.... ** _so_** _**hot,”**_ he finished, thinking about how unfairly horny that man over there made him. They all watched as Makki disappeared to hop to another group.

“And I can’t believe the short one and the one with the glasses are his roommates,” exclaimed someone in the group.

“Yup.” Issei nodded. It was hard to believe how fucking good looking the three were.

“Quite a batch of freshmen this year huh......”

“Yup.”

The group broke out into a conversation about all the good-looking freshmen they know, voices perking up at the mention of the trio whose house they were all in, naturally....

“Well, Issei. **YOU’RE** the Man’s Man here. Gonna tap that fine ass? So that we can all live vicariously through you?” voiced one of the guys in the circle, laughing.

Mattsun only smirked in response.

_Can’t they see I’m working on it? Or does every certified player they know have to come on strong the way Kuroo and Bo do?_ Matsukawa didn’t move that way.

Before Mattsun could reply, he was interrupted by someone else in this group that he didn’t quite recognize, but has been standing in this group all along.

##  _“Man’s man...huh?”_

The stranger asked, looking vaguely like a handsome, human Berenstein Bear. What with his doughy eyes and mushy expression. The dude looked like he gave 90% of his paycheque to the first homeless guy he saw every time he left work.

_Well, Yes. Very much so, is what_ Issei wanted to answer, **because it was true--** but he also didn’t want to sound like the biggest tool ever. Besides, yes, he gets a lot of dick—prime dick, some might say—but that doesn’t mean he is one to kiss and tell.

Well, even if Mattsun didn’t answer, the boys who knew him in the group answered for him: giving a resounding yes in reply about how much of a dick magnet Issei is and trailing off to tell the Berenstein Bear about the calibre of men Issei could snag with little to no effort whatsoever.

Feeling proud that his reputation precedes him, Issei almost blushed.

Almost.

The stranger interrupted their sex tales, his eyes still as honest and kind as any.

## “Wow, I’m impressed. Well, if we have such a man’s man in our midst ...........A better question to a man’s man that has been in local celebrities’ beds before might be, in terms of normal Takahiro-san: do you **_want_** to tap that?”

Issei looked at the slightly taller man. First of all, Issei could write a paper on how Takahiro was **_anything_** but ‘ _normal’ and that he’d be Issei’s best-looking lay (not that he’s counting) if he was lucky enough_ ** _to_** _tap that_ , but the middle blocker chose to digress. Never one to expose his plans, opting to keep his cards close to his chest instead—in everything he does.,.. the darker haired male simply answered the question with a question,

“ _Doesn’t everyone?”_

The group of drunkies immediately let out _‘fuck yeahs’_ and _‘totally’s’_ and _‘no doubts’_ and other noises of agreement. The Bear’s eyes lit up in amusement at Issei’s reply, raising his beer to cheers Matsukawa. “Ah, true.” He grinned. Obliging to the beer bottle tap, they shared a knowing nod.

When the captivating man with the pink hair and _really_ nice ass returned, the conversation had luckily moved off him and how handsome he and his roommates are about 10 minutes prior.

“You guys miss me?” Makki asked in his smooth deep voice, coming back with a handful of refill beers for the boys who were drinking them. 

_He’s so perfect,_ Issei couldn’t help but think to himself. 

Makki told the group to set their empties on the luxurious side table there because they have one of those vacuum cleaners that move on their own. The College boys listened immediately, surprised when--in less than 4 seconds--a bitter Akaashi came by with a happy Bokuto holding a bin to dump their empties in the recycling.

“Told ya. A vacuum that moves on its own 😉. We call him the Akaashi 3000.” Hiro smirked, winking at the boys before yelling, “I was **_going_** to do it!” at Akaashi over the music. Keiji didn’t even spare his playful roommate a glance because he knew he was lying. 

“Yeah, yeah. Give me a break, Hana 😒,” 

“Hana.” Said Mattsun, eyebrows raising at the sound of the new nickname.

Makki finished sticking that gorgeous pink tongue out at Akaashi’s back before looking slightly up at Matsukawa. The Pinkie stared down the middle blocker, straightening his back and standing to his full height, slowly closing the distance between them. 

For the first time ever, Matsukawa’s heart picked up speed without permission as Makki came close, their noses almost brushing--and he couldn’t stop himself from staring at the pretty pink lips that match the pretty hair colour. He IS SO FUCKING HOT--

_Oh, God_...... Mattsun thought as Makki stared into his eyes like a drill sergeant. _Hot._ His skin was so pretty and clear this close-up. _How?!_

Mattsun’s brain went: _**whew,**_ and his dick went: _**hard.**_ (He mentally gave himself a pat on the back for changing into restricting underwear after dinner and before the party.) After a few seconds of a heated (on Mattsun’s part) staring competition, the Pinkie proclaimed,

“Yeah. And what’s it to ya, neighbz?” He was challenging Issei unprovoked--he was doing this and Issei wanted to fuck him. Issei took the time to sit on the fact that he hadn’t realized before how close this gorgeous male was to his height. No wonder his legs looked so long and sexy. He was

## 6 feet of fine.

For like, the 5th time tonight, Mattsun’s comeback died on his lips because he just couldn’t deal with how badly he wanted to make this man scream his name. It’s all he could think about, witty replies be damned. Fuck. _He had to focus on not creaming his pants!_

“Nothing, I like the nickname.” _Pathetic._

“I’m sure you do,” Hiro said, with a hint of something in his voice, but issei couldn’t quite place it. He didn’t respond, so Hana, feeling like the winner of this stare down, moved away from Matsukawa as if nothing ever happened. He smiled.

“So.... what were you guys talking about while I was away?”

Issei was going to say _‘the weather’_ for shits and giggles, while Yamamoto was going to say _‘sports’_ but they were both beaten to the punch... beaten to the punch by the group’s very own 6’3” Berenstain Bear.. who answered,

## “ **You.** Me and the guys were talking about you.... **and how hot you are.”**

A few of the boys choked on their drinks, and Issei’s eyes bugged out (😳😳) for a moment too, _but only for a moment_ — before settling back into his permanently bored expression.

Well shit—

Makki threw his head back and laughed that fucking incredible sounding laugh that immediately put the tense group back at ease...somewhat.

“Oya?” Hiro inquired, small brown eyes twinkling as he looked up at the Bear-looking-man. “That true boys?” Hiro winked at the group, looking hot as ever doing it, and Mattsun watched imperceptibly as the group of guys, red faces and all, collectively made their excuses to leave.

“Uhhhhh...... Are they playing video games over there? I’ve been wanting to check out the PS5 in person, Uh.....see ya!” Yamamoto almost tripped by how fast he escaped with the rest of the boys, their tails were between their legs. Issei was not impressed.

_I may be pathetic in the presence of this hottie, sure._ ** _But at least I’m not a fucking Pussy,_** Mattsun hyped himself up.

_**So what if Hiro knew they think he’s hot?** _ _The sky is blue, the Dallas Cowboys suck, and Hanamaki Takahiro and his roommates_ **_ARE_ ** _total babes. Pretty sure they know it - just like Mattsun, Kuroo and Bo knew it about themselves. Who cares?_

“That didn’t look guilty at all.....” muttered Matsukawa, rolling his eyes when the majority of guys he’d been speaking to all night joined different groups around the party. He took another swig of the new beer that Hiro had just replaced.

_But still...._

_You know...._

_They were_ _all_ _pretty blindsided by that comment..._

Issei looked to his left where the doe-eyed gentleman was still standing.

_So the Teddy Bear has guts,_ huh?

“I wanted them to mingle anyway,” Makki said, dropping the subject because you could tell that’s actually what he wanted. Also because Hiro wasn’t vain in the slightest. He only said that to tease them. 

Mattsun closed his eyes as he leaned it back against the wall again, feeling dizzy because: wow this gorgeous Pinkie is just so **cunning and intelligent and smooth** and yes Issei wants to fuck him until he needs to be carried home...... **but at the same time** Mattsun finds that he... just as badly wants to be with Hanamaki alone right now. He wants to spend the rest of the party with him, just them, picking his brain and finding out _why_ and _what_ has made him so **_cunning and intelligent and smooth._**

“You could’ve just asked them to disperse. Any guy with a dick will listen to you, Hana.” Said the only gentleman left standing to Mattsun's right. That Teddy Bear. He gave Mattsun a dirty look.

_Shit, was this his ploy all along, too? To get these admirers away from Makki so he could hit on the Pinkie...with a straight shot?!_

The flirtation in his tone when he called him ‘Hana’ made Issei crack his eyes open ever so slightly because _**what the fuck:**_ _find your own hot neighbour to flirt with, Winnie the Fucking Pooh!_

“I could’ve,” Makki started slowly, running his tongue against his bottom lip. “But I’m trying to be a good host.” He winked.

Issei’s eyes flew fully open now, because while Hiro was an unintentional flirt, the tone in his voice was now _**intentionally**_ flirty, and even Mattsun hadn’t heard that level of seduction in his voice before. It simultaneously made Mattsun feel annoyed and horny for the Pinkie, irritated only because Hiro wasn’t talking to him.

“Well, you weren’t very good host to me.” Answered the Teddy Bear, smiling lovingly at the Pinkie.

Mattsun’s stomach twisted.

“We have barely spoken,” Winnie the Pooh added, pouting a bit.

Now Mattsun really was feeling the alcohol...

_“Well that’s because......_ ” Makki closed the distance between him and the taller man, as he’d done to Mattsun--but somehow: 

## different. 

He brushed past the middle blocker in the process, leaving him to salivate over the smell of his cologne mixed with light beer.

_no. He’s only allowed to do that to me!_ Mattsun whined. _What was even happening—?!_

Kuroo’s sloth watched intoxicatedly as Hiro hooked his two hands into the belt buckles of the Teddy Bear’s pants, leaning in close so he was speaking on his lips like he did to Issei. The man didn’t even stumble.

## WHY DIDN’T HE STUMBLE?!?!

It was almost like he was used to it.

## Issei was too drunk for this shit.

“ _That’s because.....”_ Takahiro repeated, pressing his chest on the man’s--something he didn’t do to Issei. “.... _You’re sleeping over._ That means I get to show you how gracious of a host I can _**really**_ be.. _in my room tonight_ ,” Hiro finished, before leaning in like he was going to kiss the man, only to take his bottom lip between his straight teeth and bite it sexily.

**_Sleeping over?! That can’t be right—_ **

Issei, just watching like a man who must be getting Punk’d, was going to look away, except for the fact that he is a weak man who likes men and especially ones that look like Hiro.... so he was too weak to pass up on Hiro’s captivating alluring behaviour right now......... A few of the guys nearby watching not-too-subtly either, but at least Issei didn’t have to rearrange his pants situation like they did. There was a strange mix of emotions whizzing inside Issei as he watched Makki so close to another man. _**He didn’t know why he failed to surmise that Hiro had a fuck buddy....**_ it’s stupid to not expect, honestly--because look at the man. If Issei had a line-up of numbers to call if he wanted to fuck, then Makki must have a secretary that dealt with his dick appointment offers when he wanted to fuck. Even so, it still pissed Mattsun off. 

Mattsun had 0 idea what Hiro was going to do to that stranger at that sleepover... but whatever it was, _ **Issei _knew_ he wanted to be next. Actually, he wanted to replace him. **_

The Teddy Bear’s face that was once doe-eyed and kind now looked positively drugged, because—obviously he’d been acting tough before...but; It’s Hiro. It’s Hiro: the most effortlessly sexy man on campus— _ **trying**_ to be sexy, and achieving. The Bear’s eyes immediately became lidded as his lip was released from between Hiro’s white teeth, and Mattsun didn’t know if he imagined the shiver that seemed to go over the taller male. Winnie the Pooh used the hand not holding his drink to press again Makki’s back, dangerously close to his ass, Issei noted—to press the Pinkie in closer and to lean in to-- _what Issei guessed_ \--give him a real kiss.

_Hell no. Not on my watch--_

Makki swerves it, however, taking a few steps back and making Issei want to applaud him for doing so.

**_Me next,_** he thought dumbly in his drunken state. _Now me, oh please do that to me. Or invite me._

Mattsun has had a threesome before, sure. But something told him that if he tried that with Hiro he’d end up just fucking the Pinkie over and over again and completely disregarding the other. There was no other way. He--

As Makki was taking steps back, the Teddy Bear grabbed his hand and roughly tugged the Pinkie back to his chest, hand not holding his beer cupping Hiro’s face and tilting Makki’s head up, so that he could lean forward and steal the kiss Issei’s neighbour was playing with.

Eyes as wide as Bokuto’s when he first saw Akaashi-- Mattsun watched the passionate kiss between the two men.

Fuck. 

Double fuck, actually, because it lasted a while.

Issei’s cock went soft.

_When it was getting too much for Issei’s heart to bear—_

##  _Wait,_ ** _heart_** _?!_ 😧

Issei cleared his throat loudly, not caring how jealous that sounded.

Makki pulled away from the kiss with an expression that read that he’d forgotten there were other people around, and a blush made itself at home on his cheeks, making his cheeks match his hair.

_Soooo cute,_ Issei thought, before finishing his beer. Then, he chastised himself for the very thought. _ **Stop finding him cute when he was just sucking face with another man! Grrr...**_

“Oh, sorry neighbour.” Makki apologized sincerely, trying to seem unaffected as the Teddy Bear leaned in to nibble on his ear. “You’ve met Hirugami, right?”

Issei tried his best to answer without any venom in his voice (he didn't introduce Makki to the pizza guy, did he?!), and he succeeded. The lucky fuck currently nuzzling Makki’s neck glanced at him and smirked into it when he was being introduced, a smirk that Issei recognized all too well, and it pissed him off. Whether that is Takahiro’s current fuck buddy or not, this dude needed to realize that he’s about to be replaced by a much better dick, if Issei had anything to say about it.

## It also awoke the professional player in Issei. The deadly side.

Issei Matsukawa had been in this position a handful of times before: what with meeting another alpha male at the bar because they both wanted to take home the same cute guy. Issei was always very chill in his approach, allowing the other to lay it on thick because he knew what would happen in the end. And whether the guy he wanted had been with the other alpha male all night, or he’d been with Issei and wanted to give the _other guy a chance to woo him, **OR** he just walked in: the college student or the corporate worker or the local celebrity_—in some cases _(or whomever it was that Issei set his sights on that night)_ : **always ended up going home with him.** _**Begging**_ to go home with him.

So, all that cocky smirk in Hanamaki’s neck did from that Bear was awake a monster in Issei Matsukawa.

_**Especially**_ since Mattsun had never wanted to ‘bring someone home’....never-mind the fact that it’s only 4 doors down..........more than he wanted to bring home Hanamaki Takahiro.

_So that guy can smirk all he wants,_ thought the middle blocker.

“I haven’t met him, actually,” Issei answered calmly with his own smirk. “Not officially, at least. Hirugami...........?” Matsukawa dragged the name, waiting for Hiro to fill in the blanks with a surname.

Usually, Issei wouldn’t give enough fucks to ask, but **Tonight** — he wanted to know the name of his victim. **Tonight** — He wanted to savour the look on his face when it crumbled because Hiro was going to make sure Makki leaves with him. **Tonight** — Mattsun wanted to know the name, so that he can tell Makki while he’s ploughing him from behind that _________’s _dick is no where near as good as_ ** _mine_** _, right?_

Because he knew his dick game was on another level. He’d known by the way his partners practically begged him for more rounds, and he'd known by the way he could easily pull multiple orgasms out of his partners with lazy missionary, so just imagine what could happen if Matsukawa was **trying.** ~~And you can bet He would be trying if Hanamaki was in his bed, yessir ;)~~

**Tonight--** Issei had been pissed off, so publicly challenged by this _Mark Wahlberg's best friend Ted_ look-a-like.... that **Tonight** —Issei was out for blood.

“Hirugami Sanchirou,” Hanamaki answered, placing a hand on said taller male’s chest. Issei was going to begin his easy smooth talk to get Hiro to trade those arms for his, but he was interrupted by that smug voice of Tokyo’s very own Yogi Bear. The absolute smugness in his tone made Issei want to fight him, seeing as he was drunk.

“Hirugami Sanchirou, nice to meet you.” He clarified for Hanamaki with that fucking smirk still on his face. He turned his head while leaning it on Makki’s shoulder. His eyes were positively graced as he peered up at Mattsun. “Otherwise known as Hana’s boyfriend.”

## 😱

##  _BOYF-_ ** _WHAT!?!?!!_**

😱

😱

_“Hey!!”_ Hiro screamed, hitting the taller male hard on his chest. The bear yelped in agony, because obviously the Pinkie was strong. “Stop telling people that. **You’re not my boyfriend,** Hirugami!!” Makki was clearly upset.

Mattsun let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. 

Of course this plain-looking guy that looked like boring ass ‘Pa’ from Berenstein Bears 🐻 couldn’t pull someone as cunning and intelligent and smooth as Makki—

##  _Ah, 😌_

Mattsun calmed down......

“Right, right, ouch, sorry, Hana.” Sanchirou stated, turning a little red from embarrassment and also maybe the pain of the blast. “Not boyfriend. I’m not your boyfriend, sorry.”

Inside, Mattsun breathed a huge sigh of relief. _THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU PIECE OF--_

Hirugami Sanchirou paused, evaluating Mattsun’s face. He was waiting for the precise moment—waiting to see that exact moment that Issei had left his guard down, had celebrated internally, before he hit him with his own trump card that allowed him to sleep well at night,

And it was possibly the best trump card of all.

## “I meant to say fiancé.”

Hirugami stated, smiling with all of his pearly whites. He watched Issei’s face with unparalleled pleasure as he repeated himself:

## “I meant to say: my name is Hirugami Sanchirou, otherwise known as Hana’s **..........fiancé.”**

## 🤯🤯🤯

Issei could have dropped right then and there from the sheer shock of it.

Not knowing what the big deal was, Makki positively giggled and then shot his hand out in Mattsun’s direction, showcasing several rings on his fingers but lifting his ring finger higher to show the rock on his hand that probably cost more than half a year of Mattsun’s _**rent.**_

Mattsun couldn’t believe he had ignored it before.

“Isn’t it _**nice,**_ neighbour?” Hana asked, wiggling his fingers while occupying himself with staring at Hirugami with sheer love evident on his face. **_“How nice is it that I’m about to be somebody’s husband!”_**

Mattsun, humiliated and dramatic, wanted to die.

“Very **_nice,_** ” he nodded forcibly, taking another swig of his beer only to realize that it was empty. Gritting his teeth instead, Issei pretended his dreams of fucking Hiro into next week tonight weren’t crushed, and also, maybe..... _his dreams of chatting all night with Mr. Hancutexy and getting to know everything there is to know about him, too._

It felt like a punch to the gut when Issei suddenly understood why Makki had chosen their group as his home base tonight--it had nothing to do with the fact that Issei was here, it had everything to do with the fact that his **fiance was.**

“Very **nice.** ” the middle blocker deadpanned, being the only thing his shot brain could say right now.

_Very_ ** _Nice,_** the tatted man thought to himself, over and over again.

##  _The_ ** _veriest_** **_fucking_ _nicest_ _thing in the world,_ he deadpanned, not even remembering if he excused himself before getting another drink.**


	4. EPISODE 2: part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to Part 2! I hope y'all enjoy this!

EPISODE 2: PART TWO 

**_(Author's note: I posted twice in one day, so please make sure you read the chapter before this!)_ **

* * *

** With a not-so-friendly Kuroken:  **

Yamamoto, along with a handful of other red-faced boys chattily skirted by the wall of abstract paintings on the other side of the apartment. They seemed annoyed about something, and their voices were loud.

“What the fuck is up with that guy?! Does he get off on embarrassing us in front of the new freshmen! He’s lucky I’m injured from volleyball because if I was in good health I would have given him a knuckle sandwich for—“

# “—You’re not injured, Taketora-san. We just had our physicals.” 😶

The College sophomore with the blonde Mohawk jumped, startled, and whipped around to the voice who’d just embarrassed him further tonight. His glare immediately faded when his eyes settled on his year-Captain and teammate, Kuroo Tetsurō, leaning his side on the piano that pressed against the dark apartment wall. He was swirling a Tom Collins with his straw, and he looked positively peeved.

“Ha-ha.....way to expose me, Capt. _Thanks a lot.”_ Taketora glared at him, then turned to the people he came here with. “Hey, I’ll catch up with you guys later. Save me a game of beer pong.” The guys the wing spiker was with nodded and headed into the thick of the party happily. Yamamoto, on the other hand, made his way over to the pouting Raven.

“What’s up, Kuroo? How’s your night going?” He put his hand out to dap him up, but Kuroo ignored him, staring into the crowd of college students looking very concentrated and annoyed.

“That’s just it. It isn’t **going**.” He hissed.

Taketora was confused. “What do you mean it isn’t...?”

“You too? Why is no one understanding me! That’s what I mean. **Right there.** _Look._ ” The middle blocker used the hand he carried his drink with to direct his teammate's eyes to the grand couch in the centre of the apartment (the boys stood on the far right of it). It was a ginormous and gorgeous grey couch—clearly chosen by Akaashi—that could probably fit up to 5, maybe 6 party talking groups. Yamamoto scanned the couch’s length, seeing a bunch of people talking, laughing, drinking and having fun. He still didn’t get it.

“Capt, what am I looking at...?”

“Grrrr. Centre. **Sitting in the centre.** ”

Yamamoto looked again, scanning from left to right more slowly and carefully this time for something to jump out at him— and then he let his eyes stop in the centre where he saw a tall pile of blankets that was practically hidden by the chatty groups of College students surrounding it.

Why did Kuroo-san want him to look at a stupid pile of—

# Wait,

Taketora’s squinted.

#  **WHY does that pile of blankets have small hands sticking out of it, small hands that are holding a gaming device ?!**

Yamamoto was shook.

“ _Is that—_?!”

Kuroo groaned as he whirled the contents of his drink some more. “Yup. Kenma Kozume. My scale breaker.”

“I barely saw him!!! Why is he under all those blankets like a monster—wait.... SC-SCALE BREAKER!!!!??? WHAT!” 😱

Kuroo only nodded, giving his teammate a look that said everything without him having to say anything. Taketora knew what that scale meant to him, anyone who knew Kuroo did.

The Mohawk guy whistled in shock. “I’m surprised............... but then again, yeah I can see it. I mean I can’t see **_him_** under that weird thing over his head, but I’ve seen Kenma earlier and— _Damn. The whole house is attractive.”_

“Incredibly.” Kuroo spat sharply.

“.... _So.......”_ Yamamoto tried to tread carefully because he didn’t know why his Capt was acting so weird or looked so pissed.

# “So.... _why don’t you go ask him out?”_

Yamamoto’s eyes watched Kuroo face scrunch up as if something was tickling his nose. He looked.....determined? No, mad.

“I did.” Kuroo answer gravely. Then, he spoke between clenched teeth. **“Three. Times. Already.”**

Mohawk gasped, his hand literally flying to cover his mouth. In his one year being teammates with Kuroo, Mattsun, and Bokuto, he’d never really seen them get rejected before. **Hearing about it was shocking in itself.** He couldn’t imagine what that might have looked like. No wonder his Captain looked so **disturbed**.... _so_ **......annoyed.**

There must be a logical reason for this. “Oh. Wow. So he's straight, then?”

 _But... even straight men didn’t deny Kuroo,_ Yamamoto remembers.

“He said he isn’t.”

“So then _why_.....?”

“I don’t know. **But it stupidly makes me want him more.”** Kuroo looked like he was about to break the glass he held between his bare hands, so Taketora took a small step back.

“Yo, Kuroo chill. I know you’re not used to these kinds of things— but take it from someone like me who knows very well what it’s like getting rejected by hot girls **and guys. MAYBE** he’s just weird! I heard he’s a computer science major.....and yo, some of those guys are _**off,**_ man. Like weird. Say he has a really freaky personality, or he is in a relationship with his computer, or he talks to rocks or something, you would want him to not reject you anyw—“

Kuroo chuckled an almost evil chuckle that cut Yamamoto off. It made the hairs on the shorter male's arms stand up, he looked positively diabolical, party goers that walked by looked at him the same way, like: ‘dude, what the fuck?’

Tetsurō shook his head as he laughed like that.

“Even if any of that were true, which none of that _**is**_ —that’s just what guys who have no game tell themselves to feel better— _OH!_ ** _No offence,_** _bro.”_

Yamamoto smiled as the insult bounced off him. “Eh, none taken. It’s true.”

“Ya. Even if that weird stuff about Kenma were true, I wouldn’t care, quite honestly. **He’s hot. He can kiss his computer or talk to rocks as much as he likes for all I care, as long as I get to have him under me after. He’s so fucking cute.** So _cute_ , that he broke my fucking scale! Bet he won’t be thinking about his computer or rocks after I show him real pleasurable companionship anyway.”

“Ah, fair enough.” He laughed. “Well, did he say **_why_** he is rejecting you?”

Kuroo’s face hardened once again, and Taketora could see the Ravens Adam’s apple bob when he swallowed hard. Kuroo spoke through clenched teeth and resembled an Evil Scientist again.

“Yeah. He said I am not:

#  **His. Type.” 🤨😠**

Moto wanted to laugh in his friend’s face. He would deserve it. _**How fucking nice of a sex life does one have to have to be completely appalled when they are rejected for once in their life ?!?! FUCK. Kuroo was facing the sting of rejection for the first time and the**_ **_man was is his TWENTIES!_**

Yamamoto laughed, reaching forward to take away the abused clear glass from his Captain’s hands. “So......what are you going to do?” Taketora put the glass down out of reach, “Gonna cut your losses and go for one of his equally sexy roommates? I think Matsukawa san has his eyes on the pink-haired one, Taka—“

“No.” Kuroo stated seriously. “ **No.** I want the blonde. The others scored higher than anyone before, but **_Kenma_** broke my scale.”

His voice sounded almost scary. “Geez, kay, I got it I got it. But I’m just saying, getting rejected 3 times definitely means he’s not interested—“

“—I wasn’t really _**rejected.**_ If he gets off of that freaking game for 2 seconds and looks at me, maybe he **would** be interested. How would he know if he likes me if he doesn’t even give me an opportunity to talk to him without that game!? This entire party he’s been talking to people with his eyes glued to that screen. And then not too long ago he wanted to leave but Makki pleaded that he stayed, so then he changed into that freakishly large _blanket or hoodie or_ ** _whatever the fuck—_** hiding his gorgeous body and face from everybody. I MEAN WHAT THE HECK! And even so.... EVEN WITH THE BLANKET .... **he’s still getting asked out!** Pretty sure that’s why he changed, actually, because barely anyone is going near him now. Doesn’t make me any less frustrated, _though_.”

After the rant, Moto and Kuroo watched in silence as the blanket with arms looked up from his game (not that they could see his face) because Akaashi had come over to hand him something.

Kuroo zeroed in on what it was, and as soon as he saw that it was a pair of headphones—probably noise-cancelling—he knew he had to get a move on. Tetsuro checked the time on his phone and saw that it was twenty to 1am, which meant that Hanamaki and Akaashi were going to shut this Sunday party down soon.

Kuroo ignored the fact that Bokuto was standing near Akaashi, “coincidentally” standing behind him as he bent over to talk to Kenma, not even looking himself but effectively shielding the should-be-a-GQ-model’s ass from the hungry eyes of those at this party.

 _Desperate -_ Kuroo thought.

But then again, perhaps there was some method to the Owl's madness because out of all 3 fuckboys Bokuto had made it the farthest with his hottie-of-choice tonight, having spent the entire night by Akaashi’s side. Whenever Kuroo glanced over he saw them speaking or Bokuto helping him clean and Keiji-san actually appeared not as bitter when he was with him—as opposed to the chilling looks the one with glasses would give **him,** or frankly **_any_** other man at this party sides’ Bo and his roommates.

_Seriously, what’s his problem?_

_You’re hot,_ Kuroo thought. _Life is easier for hot people. Stop frowning and Be happy about it!_

Not that Kuroo is one to talk when he’s been scowling all night after he’d heard Kenma’s **first** rejection:

_“No. Can you go away now?”_

Or his **second:**

_“Weren’t you just here, like, 30 minutes ago? No.”_

Or his **third:**

 _**“**_ _because....you’re not my type. Truth be told no one deserves an explanation in the first place. Now, I am trying to beat this level, if you’ll excuse me.....”_

A distant thought in the back of the Raven’s mind was worried that his gorgeous face might develop frown lines due to how deeply he sulked tonight. He made a mental note to apply some night cream when he got home.

Anyway, back to the present—

“Ugh. Now he’s gonna shut everyone out even more and put on headphones while they clear the party. _I need his number before this night ends or I’ll never get the chance!_ Something tells me he’s a homebody and I won’t see him at the bars,” Kuroo explained to himself, but Yamamoto was standing there too.

“Good luck, bro.” Smiling, Taketora patted his back, secretly liking to see his captain struggle after making them do twenty flying receives last Friday when they lost a practice match. “I’ll see ya at practice.”

“Yes.” Kuroo barely registered his friend’s departure, since his energy, sights, and wet fantasies were set on that gorgeous man wrapped up in blankets in the middle of that couch.

I **will** get his number tonight. **I will if it was the last thing I do.** Kuroo Tetsurō DOESNT **get** rejected! He wasn’t 6.3/10 Yamamoto, no matter how much he liked him. Tetsu just needed, _absolutely needed_ to sleep with his scale-breaker by the end of this month. He wanted him so bad. He **_had_** to....

After giving himself a mental pep talk, Kuroo took a deep breath, re-applied a tiny spritz of his cologne on his wrist, then popped in another spearmint before approaching his blonde one last time.

When he confidently strode over with newfound confidence, Kuroo Tetsurō almost face-planted in front of the entire couch, because someone had their feet spread out like they fucking owned the place. Luckily, he caught himself before doing so! _**But what the shit—**_

Kuroo was about to let all his frustrations out on the culprit, but alas, when he turned around—he noticed it was his sloth of a best friend—legs sticking out as he sat on the couch alone—a hard expression on his face. He looked even angrier than Kuroo did all night!

“Oy, New Years Baby. What’s wrong?”

No answer. 🦗

Guess he’d take a detour to check on his friend..... With any luck, that’d give his blonde a bit more time to come to his senses before he asked him out **for a fourth time.**

Mattsun barely noticed his black-haired friend approach, he was too busy crossing his tatted arms in front of him and shooting daggers at the couple on the far end of the party, much too far for them to see him staring. Hirugami was sitting on one of the leather high bar stools and Hanamaki was standing in the middle of his legs—fitting perfectly there, laughing with his fiancé and making out a lot. Mattsun was practically seething.

“Call me New Years Baby again and I’ll burn all your periodic tables.”

“Dude **!** First of all, _they’re laminated,_ ** _so you can’t._** But what the fuck has got you so heated?!” _Perhaps his friend had been rejected by his pretty-boy-of-choice tonight too._

“Shut up. Go.”

Instead of listening, Kuroo dropped his body weight next to his friend and followed his gaze better than Yamamoto did with him. He spotted the pink hair immediately and the arms he was wrapped up in.

Kuroo gasped. “Ohoho—“

His eyes widened.

#  **“** _ **No fucking way—?**_ Makki is boo’ed up?!”

Mattsun never looked away from the pink-haired hottie for a second. “More like, _‘hubby-d’_ up.” He explained. **“He’s engaged. 💍 .”**

Kuroo:

☹️

😐

🙂

😄

🤣

Kuroo couldn’t stop himself. He absolutely cackled, laughing so hard his stomach hurt.

#  **ENGAGED!?!!!**

# THIS WAS GOOD. **THIS WAS TOO FUCKING GOOD— 🤣**

Issei finally looked away from the betrothed pair to glare at his friend who was laughing so hard he was leaning on him for support. Deadpanning, Issei shoved him off.

“I fucking hate you,” Issei muttered, annoyed that that statement made his friend laugh harder. “Boko is my **only** best friend now. I’m cutting you off you Rooster cluck-cluck piece of shit 🐓. _I’m going to send you to a Popeyes factory.”_

As his friend continued to laugh at his sexual misfortune, Mattsun had a thought that might get him to shut up.

“I didn’t hear you come over here singing that you’re gonna fuck Kenma tonight, did I?! Any reason for that ?”

Kuroo did shut up when he heard that— immediately, actually....... making Mattsun grin.

“ _How’s that going for you?_ ” Issei pushed. “You didn’t seem very happy either, don’t think I didn’t see you pouting over there by the fucking piano like you’re Dr. Drakken from Kim Possible. You’re literally scaring the fucking guests. Get it together.”

“Fuck you,” Kuroo jabbed coldly, getting up to resume what he had walked over here for in the first place. Both boys were salty as hell.

“Yeah. You might have to. Seeing as the guy I want to screw is over there with a whole husband!”

Kuroo scoffed at the sloth. “You wish. I’m getting **my** guy. Unlike you.” Tetsurō swept his feet so that they kicked in Mattsun’s feet that had tripped him up in the first place.

“ _I pray that you don’t!_ ” Mattsun called as Kuroo walked away.

The Raven gave him the middle finger behind his back.

* * *

Blanket Monster: Kenma Kozume was just about to press **kill** to complete this level in God of War when, without warning, the weight of someone heavy sitting next to him made his entire body tilt and miss his chance.

 **You died! -** read his screen.

“Hey!” Kenma pouted, turning to whoever just made him lose. What is wr—

Kenma immediately rolled his eyes.

😒

#  _Him again._

Kenma recognized the black-haired male sitting next to him as one of the men that have asked him out tonight. Kenma has already gathered that he’s incredibly cocky—since he’s back after being rejected a few times already—and Kenma thought that personality to be gross. It oddly reminded him of someone............. but he couldn’t quite situate whom.

Whatever.

“Hey,” the guy greeted back calmly, leaning back on the couch with a handsome crooked grin and signature bed head. He was sitting maybe two inches away from where Kenma sat, the taller man’s one leg folded atop the other like a CEO, his knee **_very_** close to Kenma’s to seem friendly—and Kozume was sitting on the couch with both his legs folded under him. He could fully fit under his hooded blanket (that Hinata got him as a house warming gift) this way.

The beautiful blonde thought about how much better this stupid party would have been if Hinata was able to come, but alas, after their conversation earlier at the store— neither of them were in the mood to be around others anymore. So Hinata dropped Kenma off, they made plans to hang out again in a few days, Kozume had to evade some creep-o downstairs, and Kenma promised Hanamaki he’d stay outside of his room insofar as he got to play on his PSP.

It’s been a long day, and Kenma was ready for bed. The last thing he needed was this flirty dude with bed head bothering him again right before this party was supposed to end. So Kenma tried to shoo him away as fast as possible.

“No. I didn’t say **‘hey’** like **‘hi,’** I said **‘hey’** like **‘hey—you made me fail my mission.’** ” 😑

Kuroo chuckled and placed his long arm behind Kenma on the back of the couch. Kenma shifted away to prove a point. That didn’t seem to deter the Raven at all.

_But I guess neither did 3 rejections._

“My apologies. Are you going to restart? Can you teach me how to play?” Kuroo’s eyebrows lifted in curiosity. Above Kenma’s distaste, he had to admit that now that he wasn’t playing his game and he got a good look at the man who seemed to like his bed-head; he decided he was very handsome, and he smelled really good, too.

#  **_Oh well,_** too bad Kenma isn’t in the mood to go on a date with a total prick that obviously isn’t used to hearing the word no.

Kenma already considered himself someone with asexual tendencies—in which it was very rare for him to be attracted to someone and it was rare for him to get sexually aroused—but he was especially turned off by this guy’s behaviour. No matter how handsome he is.

“Don’t wanna.” Kenma answered. “By the way, the party is ending now. Hence why the music stopped and everyone is heading toward the door? It was nice meeting you, Kuroo...... and Bokuto, and Matsukawa-san.”

That was Kenma being nice—Hanamaki would be very proud.

Tetsurō frowned deeper than he had all night when he heard his dismissal. Had he really fucked up his shot? This has never happened to him before.........

Kenma almost laughed at how sad the taller male appeared. Smh.

Not wanting to give up yet even though people were shuffling out, Kuroo gave Kenma **that** look;

🥺

“Oh, come on, Kitten! I told you already but I think you are the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Ever! Just let me take you out on one date, **_oneeeeeeeee_** date—and I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

“Don’t call me Kitten. Do I look like a Kitten to you?!”

Uh......

Kuroo and Kenma Paused on-screen, along with everyone else at the party.

⏸

Kenma, the only one moving on screen, **looked down at his fuzzy outfit that resembled the texture of a soft animal that could very well be a Kitten— before looking back up.**

Unpause. Play.

▶️

“Don’t answer that.” Kenma added quickly, deadpanning.

Kuroo smirked, thinking the blonde was the cutest thing on earth. “ _Kitten_ —“

Kenma gave him a death glare that was 20x worse than Keiji’s.

# Whoa.

The middle blocker fumbled to correct himself. “A-sorry. I mean Kenma. _Look._ I’ll leave.... in 5 seconds, but just only if you **promise** to hear me out. One last thing. Please.”

Kenma was already going to say no: he was tired and bored of this conversation already, but when he heard the word “please” come out of the man’s mouth, he reconsidered.

“Okay......5 seconds..... _What?_ ”

Kuroo’s face lit up like Kenma had just made his night.

Truth be told, that’s exactly why Tetsurō perked up visibly. The Raven didn’t expect a yes, so he hopped to it and scooted to the edge of the couch, turning fully so that he was facing Kenma ( ~~or the blanket monster he appeared to be~~ ) as best as he could as patrons shuffled around to exit the party. It was now or never.

“Can you please take off the hood. You know, so I can see you?”

“No.” _How dare someone ask him to leave his comfort zone when Kenma was doing_ ** _him_** _a favour ?!_ “And you have 2 seconds left.” Kozume added.

Kuroo took it, remembering that maybe it’s a good thing that he could barely see his blonde...seeing as it made it easier to think straight when he was staring at a fuzzy blanket instead of the brilliant gold eyes of the beautiful Kozume. If and _**since**_ Kuroo had already been crashing and burning all night, he could only **imagine how badly he’d choke if he had to stare at his scale breaker.**

“ **One second left**....” Kenma snapped, preparing himself to get up.

Kuroo panicked. In the heat of the moment, he became more honest than he would have liked to be because the countdown forced him to rush his final word:

“Okay, okay!. I just wanted to say, Kenma, even though I am gathering you don’t like cheesy stuff— so realistically I shouldn’t say this, but...whatever—I want you to know that I’m sorry for the way I behaved today. Being so pushy and resilient, I’m not usually like that and I **can** take no for an answer. It’s just.... _.you are hands down, without a doubt, not up for debate, the best-looking person_ ** _I’ve.Ever.Seen._** And you seem really cool, and quiet, and unique. I don't know much about you: it’s true. But I _**want**_ to—and I hope you’ll give me that chance someday, if not today. I’m sorry for making you lose your game and for bothering you so much tonight. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.”

While Kenma thought that was pretty nice of this guy to say, he’s heard it plenty of times before so he was about to say thank you and get up to retreat to his room when he was interrupted by a bunch of commotion on the other side of his apartment.

# “No, it’s trueeee! I swear! Ask Kuroo! Ask him!”

Exclaimed a familiar, Akaashi-crushing Owl they both knew. He was standing by the door ushering people out like Akaashi had asked of him, as Keiji cleaned. Bokuto wanted to help Keiji, it’s made him incredibly content all night to do so, but without Keiji by his side his mind wanders easily and as he spoke to some of the guys on the team (Yamamoto and his roommates by the door)—he had gotten into a very heated debate. When, from his position by the door, Kōtarō saw the two men looking back at him from where they sat on the couch. He started pointing at Kuroo and bouncing.

“Kuroo! Kuroo!”

Kuroo ignored him, turning back to this side of the couch to hear what his sexy blanket monster was going to respond to his mini court offer—but the Raven wasn’t prepared for his gray-haired roommate to run and jump on him from behind, halfway on his shoulders.

“Kōtarō, stop!” Kuroo yelled, chucking his hyper friend back on his side of the couch, Bokuto fell on his ass and the boys at the door started laughing, coming over to help him up. There was no use, though, because he jumped back up immediately as if he’d fallen on a trampoline, not the floor.

“Can’t you see I’m **busy!?”** 🤬 Kuroo raged, trying to inconspicuously point to Kenma while also trying to keep his cool because he didn’t want Kenma to see him angry. But he was. _How could Bokuto not know that he was cockblocking?_ He was going to **kill** him when they got home.

“Sorry! But Moto is trying to tell me I’m lying about that one time we went with your family to a basketball tournament in Nagoya and you got the referee to go easy on your little cousin’s team because you told them you’d take them home that night and—“

Kuroo’s eyes went wide like Mattsun’s did earlier that night when he found out a certain someone was engaged. His eyes nervously flicked from Bo to Kenma, who was obviously listening to his roommate’s boisterous tale. Kuroo turned red.

# “Kobo. 🙃 I am going to smother you with this pillow, haha 🙃 **_SHUT. Up._**......”

Bokuto didn’t get the hint.

“Tell them it’s true first! They don’t believe me! And tell them how that ref actually **did** go easy on your cousin's team and they won based on the calls!! But you never took the ref home cause that was your cousins last game anyway and you made up some shitty excuse that you work for the association so any fraternizing with employees would be against code and—“

“ _Cheating_ in a game?” Kenma scoffed next to Kuroo as Bokuto continued rambling. **“That’s really low, Kuroo.”**

Kenma was judging BIG TIME.

If there was one thing that turned Kenma all the way off it was people who didn’t respect the rules in a game—albeit video games or real sports. It just wasn’t fair, and Kenma thought cheating should be punishable by jail time, to be quite honest. Not to mention Kuroo cheated _**AND**_ manipulated a referee! Is that solicitation?????

#  **JAIL!**

Kenma couldn’t believe he was just about to be nice to this guy.

In horror, Tetsurō observed the undeniable look of pure disgust take over the hot blonde's face under his hood, frightened because he might lose the tiny tiny chance he already had because of his freaking talkative roommate!!!

Done. Zip. Finito.

Kuroo had a lot of damage control to do!

“N-no, Kenma I-I-“

“Is that true, Capt?” Yamamoto and friends had been listening to Bo’s story with stars in their eyes, looking at the Player ~~no volleyball~~ of the year 🏆 in awe and admiration.

Kenma wanted to hear the answer too.

Kuroo, stuck between a rock and a hard place, didn’t know what to say.

“Well, umm.... it didn’t—exactly...it—didn’t umm Uh g-go down like tha-the-I—“ He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Then how did it happen, Capt? That’s **_legendary!”_** Congratulated Moto, he reached over for a fist pound.

The Raven got caught up in the bro moment for a second and leaned forward planning to pound his fist with a slight smile before, out of his peripheral vision, he saw Kenma cross his arms expectantly, wanting to hear more. The blonde had even moved his hood back a bit to see. Kuroo deterred his hand quickly, pretending he was only stretching his arms. ~~Smh~~. He changed his tune real quick.

“Uhhhhh No. Not true. Not uh, not really. I mean—“

 _Nice save._ Kenma thought. _What a Prick. He’s dreaming if he thinks I’d ever give him a chance now._

Bokuto broke the awkward silence then, still hopping.

# “Kuroo! Are you listening!? Of course it’s true! Then tell them how you ended up doing the **same thing** again the next month for Mattsun’s little brother with his soccer referee, but that you actually did go home with that ref because you said they were a 7 out of 10 and......Right, Matty?”

Mattsun, (currently standing by the fridge stuffing his mouth with cold pizza) _nodded even though he didn’t remember._ He gave Bo two thumbs up, yelling between bread and pepperoni,

 **“Oya. Totally true. 100%.”** He sent an evil smile Kuroo’s way.

Lucky for Kuroo though, Bokuto’s voice had trailed off in Kenma’s mind long before he mentioned Matty. Not because he was distracted by Kuroo reaching behind his back to hurl a pillow at Bo’s face with all the strength in the world (Bo athletically dodging it)—no, but that’s **_not_** why Bokuto’s voice trailed off....

Kenma’s brilliant mind made Bokuto’s voice die off (along with all the sounds in the room) because he heard something in Bo's story that stood out to him.. **something significant that his mind had to address right now.**

Bokuto’s face appeared as clear as day in his mind, as well as Bokuto’s voice echoed in his mind until—by raking through Kenma’s memories— it found a match that sounded similar....

What Bo said that triggered Kenma:

## 🗯 _‘because you said they were a_ ** _7 out of 10_** _and......’🗯_

Kenma heard his own voice now, accompanied by a visual of him at the ice cream shop earlier with Akaashi, telling him a story:

## 🗯“...all he gets in return is a message saying only **6s/10** and up get drives home???!!! I mean, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN! It’s absolutely despicable behaviour.”🗯

Then, it was Shōyo’s face and Shōyo’s voice that echoed in his mind, a visual of his redheaded friend outside of his car popped up beside Bo’s and his smokey image, Shoyo saying:

## 🗯 “He said, ‘shit, so. truth be told I only drive **6/10s** home after fk. You were a **5.5/10**. Sry, Harrison.’”🗯

## 🗯 🗯 🗯

##  _**7/10**_..... - Bo

##  _**6s/10s**_..... - Kenma

##  _**5.5/10**_..... - Shōyo

## Boom. 💥

It only took Kenma one second to put two and two together....

That’s him.

Kuroo.

Kuroo Tetsuro is the guy!

 **He is the fuckboy** that destroyed his friend’s confidence! **He is the fuckboy** who could be the reason Shōyo denies Kageyama and never finds true love! **He is the reason** why guys like Akaashi’s ex aren’t remorseful when they’re older because they were praised for being shitty in College like Kuroo was being right now for that Referee thing!

# OH MY GOD!

 _It’s him. It’s fucking HIM!_ Kenma thought. _He’s been hitting on me all night practically begging me to go on a date with him so he can, what?_ ** _Do the same thing to me that he did to Hinata?!_** _And he doesn’t even know Shōyo and I are friends, he’s so dumb but thinks he’s so smart, he.._ 😡😡😡😡😡😡

Ohhhhh, Kenma was going to shake. His protective-friend instincts kicked in like a suit of armour in the Marvel movies. The blonde was going to explode on this guy like the Hulk and tell him things that may make him cry—Kenma was absolutely sure of it.

Kenma was fixing himself to chew him out. His hands balled into fists under his blanket hoodie, and he took a deep breath.

Kozume’s ears were ringing, he was **that mad,** and as he glared at Tetsurō who was busy yelling at Bokuto and Mattsun, Kenma opened his mouth to interrupt him and show him how to **really** do it— _when_ —

# When he stopped.

🚨

He stopped due to his own alarming thoughts. Thoughts so loud and urgent that they rang louder than the yelling that Kōtarō and Tetsurō were spewing at each other.

Kenma visualized himself in his mind, a picture of him ranting to himself about what happened to Shōyo, voice bouncing off the walls in his brain, he remembers saying: 

## 💬🌫“Fuckboys are shit. They are absolutely evil, and they deserve to get what’s coming to them.”🌫💬

And then:

## 💬🌫“Someone has to teach them a lesson at some point, God damnit.”🌫💬

And finally, what he said to Akaashi at the ice cream spot about the same subject, before he even knew all the details:

## 💬🌫 **“I’d love to get back at a guy like that, y’know? Give him a taste of his own medicine. See how he likes getting his heart and emotions played with. How he likes being treated like shit.”🌫💬**

Kenma’s brain worked overtime as if it was the algorithmic systems analysis he dealt with on a daily basis in his major. He truly understood why people referred to him as ‘The Brain 🧠’ in high school now, because he had just gone through probably 1,000 scenarios in his head, leading him to the **BEST** conclusion that would be even sweeter than the satisfaction he’d get from cussing Kuroo out right now.

## His brilliant mind devised a perfect plan.

## But he needed leverage, if this was going to work. He needed to be different if this was going to work!—

“Kuro,” Kenma said, zoning back into the real world, hearing the room again like he’d just been underwater. In real-time since Kenma had spaced out, only about a minute had passed by.

The Raven abruptly stopped hurling threats & insults at his two friends, halting due to the sweet sound of his love-interest’s voice caressing his name. He almost groaned by how soft Kenma’s voice sounded to his ears.....and not to mention he’d just given Kuroo a nickname that he’d gush over like a doting mum.

“Y-ya? Y-you-I-Yes? Ye-yes?” Kuroo sputtered.

“ _Learn Japanese, please._ ” Mattsun offered his advice through a fake cough. Tossing it over his shoulder as he walked past the commotion, cleverly repeating what Kuroo had said to him earlier when _**he**_ was the one tripping over his words in front of Hanamaki. Pissed, Kuroo would have punched him in the balls if he wasn’t completely entranced by the smaller man in front of him.

Kenma looked up at Kuroo, telling himself to use his eyes **for good and not evil for once.**

Think: nice. Be nice. You’re doing this for Shōyo. You’re doing this for Kaashi and any other guy or girl destroyed by a fuckboy. Make your eyes nice. Pretty. Nice.

👁👃👁

Kenma must have succeeded in doing so because Kuroo’s breath hitched after he changed his expression, so that must be a good sign.

“Kuro,” Kenma asked daintily. “What’s _my_ rating?” Asked the now sweet & clawless-Kitty.

Kuroo blinked 5 times before he regained his composure. “Wh-W-what?”

Kenma tilted his head in a way that he recalls Akaashi and Hana telling him is very cute, and he widened his eyes a bit to look more innocent. “What’s my rating, Kuro? You seem to rate everyone, and I don’t know what you rate _me_....” Kenma didn’t know how he knew how to be this cute, maybe it was the incessant desire to get this shit started, **_to see if he CAN get it started_** , but his delicate hand flew up to his lip, touching his lower lip with his index finger cutely.

Or was it sexily?

Whatever it was, _**it also worked,**_ because Kuroo’s eyes dropped to that index finger that was touching the lips he wants around his cock so badly, in response, Kuroo unknowingly wet his own lips.

#  **He thought Kenma looked like a dream.... 😍**

“Won’t you tell me?” Kenma pushed, leaning in a bit closer to Kuroo and—because he loves a good personal assist in 2K—he used the hand not resting on his face to rest instead on Kuroo’s knee, draped there so lightly that Kuroo would have thought he imagined it if he couldn’t see it with his own eyes. Kuroo’s breathing increased—and Kenma could tell.

“Ye-he-yes, uhhh....” Tetsurō couldn’t think straight because all the blood in his body was whooshing toward his dick. “Y-you don’t ha-ha-have one, Ke-Ken-Kenm-Ke-Kenma. A-a rate-rating.” Kuroo tried to breathe through his nose, as if that would help.

Kenma kind of inferred what that meant, but he wanted to be sure. “Oh? That bad?” The blonde began to disappointingly remove his hand from Kuroo’s knee.

“N-no. No!” Kuroo rushed to explain, catching Kenma’s delicate hand in his two large ones, cupping it between his. Kuroo blushed but he was determined to make sense. Kenma couldn’t help but think he looked kind of cute all flustered like this. ~~Cute and ready to be destroyed~~.

“Kenma...... you didn’t get a ra-rating from me because you br-broke my scale. You couldn’t be measured, because you surpassed a 10 for m-me-me— _that’s how pretty you are._ I meant what I said before about you being the best-looking person I’ve ever seen.” Kuroo was blushing even more by the end of it, it having been a side effect of staring into those big gold eyes for so long. Fuck Kuroo could stare into them all day.....without sex!

 _Great,_ Kenma thought, keeping his exterior expression innocent even though a dramatic thunderstorm went off in his head.

#  **His plan can definitely commence, then.**

He would tell no one, not even Akaashi or Hana who would talk him out of it like they did when Kozume wanted to get revenge on Keiji’s ex, this way it would be Kenma’s little secret and his secret alone— **until he reached his goal.** Until he was satisfied with the ending.

 _I just have to treat this like a video game,_ Kenma thought to himself triumphantly. _I have leverage: Kuroo apparently sees me as better than others, so I just have to_ ** _Play a Character._** A character that has one goal and multiple levels to surpass, until he ultimately reaches the final round and defeats the entire game. It might not be easy, but just like any game that Kenma has defeated before:

# He knew the reward would be worth it if he won. **Well worth it.**

He could do this. Gaming was his life.

Smiling to himself, (again, only a few seconds had gone by in real-time) Kenma removed his hand from Kuroo’s grasp in order to put both his hands atop his head and pull his hoodie down. He could hear Kuroo gasp a bit when Kenma shook out his hair then looked at him as if he was a Sexy Little Red Riding Hood from Hell.

Pause screen on Kenma’s gorgeous face.

⏸

Bottom of the screen in digital font, watchers read: 

#  **Name:** Kenma Kozume

#  **Code Name:** Kitten

#  **Position:** Seducer/Heartbreaker

#  **Biggest Strength:** Enemy seems to be incredibly attracted to you

#  **Biggest Weakness:** Enemy is not your type

#  **Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It:** Go undercover. Reign in the target by any means necessary & make him trust you: **then destroy him.**

#  **Supplies To Aid You In Your Secret Task Completion:** Hanamaki and Akaashi’s sexy wardrobe, your hair, Tom Collins,’ and your eyes. Use them wisely.

#  **Need to Know:**

# Player, this is a very dangerous mission. Getting caught could result in the end for future missions righting wrongs just like this. You must remain extremely covert and in-character until annihilation time, or else.

#  **Do you accept this mission?**

Play.

▶️

On-screen, Kenma smiles slightly, saying:

“Yes.” to two things. **Yes to a Mission Accepted,** and yes to:

“Huh? Are you talking to m-me?” Kuroo asked sheepishly, a total goner at the hands of a nice Kenma .

Kozume nodded, giving Kuroo a smile that made the Raven feel heady. “Yes to your date offer. _I changed my mind._ So, you can pick me up at, let’s say, next Friday at 9?”

Kuroo’s jaw dropped. He didn't know what God above had his back right now and decided to bless him.... nor did know what it was that compelled the blonde to change his mind when he’d already been rejected thrice and he had so surely thought that his chances were ruined-- **but whatever the reason was,** it's face to say **KUROO WAS NOT COMPLAINING!**

“Nine?! Friday, Ye-yes. Perfect! Uh, th-THANK-than-thank you, Kenma!”

“ _Hey Ku, don’t you have that volleyball training regimen starting Friday night with the freshmen_ \--?” Mattsun called over, ever the shit disturber with the tattoos. Slowly, like a creepy doll in a movie, Kuroo turned his head to look at his annoying Sloth friend, feeling happy that Hiro had a boyfriend because his friend was so obviously pissed about it!

_It's what the asshole deserves._

“Shut **_up_** , Boke. I'm their Captain. I can move it.” Kuroo barked, trying not to show his fangs at such a happy hour. _Tetsu was going to call a fucking tattoo remover and have him work on Mattsun when hes sleeping later if he kept it up, he swore to God._

“Coach will be pisssssssed—“ sung Issei in a dreamy tone. 

Kuroo bit his tongue for Kenma's sake. _Just wait till we leave this place,_ He thought darkly. _Just watch._

An angelic voice pulled Kuroo out of his menacing thoughts again,

“Well, thank you, Kuro. Are you sure?” Kenma flirted, eyes still wide and beautiful and making Kuroo go:

# * _sigggghhhh_ 🦋🤍🌈* “ **Yes, I’m sure** ” *sigggghhhh 🦋🤍🌈* 

The Raven just stared back at Kozume because.... Volleyball _whatnow?_

Kuroo was screwed.

“Great. Well, I’m going to go take another shower. Today was a really long day and I need some hot water to run down my body to _relax me_.....I also have this new purple shampoo I want to try out. The lady at the store says it will keep my hair nice and shiny and it smells like the rainforest, so I bought it earlier at—whoa, Kuro, **_your saliva is dripping from your—“_**

Kuroo choked, **embarrassed** , red in the face and wiping his chin rapidly. He stood up briskly and Kenma _didn’t_ miss how quickly he moved to hide his lower half behind the kitchen island. At this time, everyone had left the premises save for the _3 fuckboys + Akaashi_ —who was busy cleaning, and Kenma himself. ~~Hana and his fiancé had disappeared into his room a while ago~~.

Kuroo stuttered, not even recognizing the shameful shaky voice that left his mouth as his. He wished he’d just shut up before Kenma changed his mind! But instead, he said;

“U-Um, that’s co-cool, Kenma. I-I like **sh-showers**. I-I-mean **sh-sham-shampoo**. I-I-I-mea-mean I-I li-like.... r-rain.......... **and _forests_.**”

Enjoying watching his friend act like a fool, Mattsun laughed drunkenly. " _Woooow. Forests too?!_ " He fake-gasped, then dropped his voice. " _Get a load of **this** tree hugger who deep conditions,_" 

Looking away, Kuroo shook his head. _Soon soon soon he'd be alone with them._

Kenma got up in his blanket as well and walked over to where Kuroo stood, but Kozume sat on the chair at the opposite side of the island. He placed himself right in front of Tetsu with a suggestive smirk. “You know Kuro, I was just joking before too, _hm?”_ The blonde intimately leaned forward on the island.

# “You may call me Kitten. Only you, though.”

When he heard that, Kuroo’s bright red face cooled down as his eyes noticeably darkened. We all know what that means. “........Yeah?” He asked hopefully, wetting his bottom lip and leaning forward too.

“ _Yeah._ ” Kenma answered slowly, nodding.

# He was SO gonna win this game.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**In Akaashi's voice:**

**" Next Time, on**

**Fuckboys, You Might Wanna Sit Down For This: "**

**Matsu | Hana:**

_“Fuck, you don’t peg me as the gentlemen type of fuckboy. I thought you were the weedhead type of fuckboy, y’know?” A smile played at Hiro’s lips as he lead the way up the stairs of their building._

_Matsun smirked at that..... “Well maybe I’m the ‘I-act-different-depending-on-how-badly-I-want-the-person’, type of fuckboy. Ever thought of that?”_

_Issei heard the Pinkie sigh loudly instead of laugh like he’d been expecting, and he didn’t like the sound at all._

_“You alright? Do you need me to carry that box too, because I ca—“_

_“Look, Mattsun. Let’s get this conversation out of the way now because I really don’t want this to be weird later on....”_

_Matsukawa quirked an eyebrow but kept his chill, slowly walking behind Makki up the stairs._

_Damn, what an ass._

_“What is it?” Issei asked, two beats too late if he was going to convince Makki that the deliberate sway of his hips just now totally wasn’t what the boy was staring at. The Pinkie shook his head to himself before explaining,_

_“Well, you’re attracted to me, and I just think—“_

_“Oi. Cocky, much? Says who?”_

_Takahiro scoffed at being called cocky. “Fuck off! Says the way I don’t need to look back to know you are staring at my ass right now!” He bit back: not missing a beat:_ _unlike Mattsun._

_Mattsun couldn’t even argue with that logic. He definitely had him there. 🤷♂️_

**Kuro | Ken**

_Kenma leaned in and kissed Tetsurō’s cheek before getting up to get another round of free drinks with Kaashi._

_“Kenma is really flirty when he’s drunk, huh?” Mattsun asked from his seat across their table._

_“Dude. Mhmm.” Kuroo hummed in agreement, wiping a hand over his face. He sipped his drink and swallowed way harder than was necessary._

_“And he looks really good tonight, huh?” Mattsun asked, teasing his best friend._

_“Dude. Amazing.”_

_“And.....” Mattsun smirked. “He’s turning you on acting like that and looking so good, isn’t he?”_

_Another aggressive gulp was forced down by the Raven. His expression read that he was in pure agony. “Dude. I’m dying.”_

**Boku | Aka**

_“Agaaaashi.....why are you hiding? Don't tell me that's your ex?!”_

_Akaashi, who is currently tucked behind a huge plant at the mall, nodded._

_Bokuto’s eyebrows furrowed together in the middle. “So why hide? Let’s say hello!” Bokuto started to march over happily, but Akaashi stopped him by squeezing two hands around Bo’s bicep, pleading at the Owl with his eyes not to let them be seen. Tears could be seen forming in those blue eyes._

_Kōtarō immediately forgot everything else, his heart squeezing and his main concern changing to making sure the look of Akaashi on the verge of tears will never be seen again, if he could help it._

_“Oh, okay, Akaashi. Okay. Of course. I’m sorry.” Placing his arms tentatively around the shorter male, Kōtarō moved them both so that they were behind the plant again while Akaashi let tears soak the Ace’s shoulder. “Shhhhhh, shhhhhh.” Bokuto rubbed his back. “You can hide, Akaashi. You can hide forever, if you want to. I’ll just keep you company.”_


	5. EPISODE 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHI !!!! <333333333  
> This is so odd, istg I did not plan it like this but I am totally gagging at the fact my last post for this series fell on Kuroo's birthday and this one is on Akaashi's birthdaaaay, ahhh!! Akaashi is in my top 5 favourite HQ characters so this just made my day. 
> 
> I have a few announcements: 
> 
> 1) once again, thank you all sooo much for reading this series! I am under so much stress doing my final papers for my Master's studies, and this story is just my happy place, deadass. Your comments are all GOD TIER and they make me smile for hours after I've read them, so thank you thank you thank you!!!!
> 
> 2) This episode is a CRAZY 17.2K words. I thought about posting 2 separate parts again but thought I'd try it this way, so let me know which one you prefer (split into a 2-episode marathon or you don't mind super long eps) 
> 
>   
> **3) There is an HQ artpiece in this work! It's so beautiful I could cry... once I saw it I screamed cause it reminded me so much of this fic, so I asked for permission from the artist and they said yes (ahhh). All credit goes to:[Saya on Instagram!](https://www.instagram.com/bright_stars_45/?hl=en) **
> 
> 4) Please note that while I rated this fic Teen and Up Audiences: I need you all to know that this story is for **mature audiences only.** There _will_ be explicit sexual content in future episodes (with whom I will not expose), so do not be surprised when that happens. I'm not sure if the title is enough, and even the first episode sets the tone that this is not a fic for "kids," but I want to be clear. The reason why I rated it the way that I did is because I see this fic as being on the same level as the 2008 tv show: "90210," (which I watched the reruns of on Netflix when I was in high school). That show had sex, drugs, partying, death (mine will have no drugs or death) and all that shit but I was mature enough as a teen to know that I shouldn't be doing that stuff. I made this a College AU specifically to avoid any nuances, **but just know that this fic WILL contain explicit smut at some point, so here is your fair warning.**
> 
> now that those are out of the way, without any further ado, please enjoy this new ep:

* * *

**In Makki’s Voice:**

**“ Previously, on**

**Fuckboys, You Might Wanna Sit Down For This: "**

_ Kuroo to Mattsun then Mattsun to Kuroo: _

_“Makki. Makki who?! I don’t know a Makki! And I know everyone you know. So who the fuck is Makki!”_

_“My future husband, if I play my cards right.” Matsukawa winked._

_Hiro to Mattsun:_

_“Isn’t it **nice,** neighbour?” Hana asked, wiggling his fingers while occupying himself by staring at Hirugami with sheer love. _

_**“How nice is it that I’m about to be somebody’s husband!”** _

_Kenma to Akaashi then Akaashi to Kenma:_

_The blonde turned to his dark haired roommate who is also his best friend. “Are you ever gonna stop being so bitter about your ex? Not every guy is like that, you know..... not every relationship ends as horribly as yours did…..”_

_Akaashi glared at the shorter male. “Gee, thanks. And No, I won’t. Besides, I am not bitter, I just hate men.”_

_Kuroo to Yamamoto then Yamamoto to Kuroo:_

_“No.” Kuroo stated seriously. “ **No.** I want the blonde. The others scored higher than anyone before, but **Kenma** broke my scale.” His voice sounded almost scary._

_“Geez, kay, I got it I got it. But I’m just saying, getting rejected 3 times definitely means he’s not interested—“_

_Kenma’s pretty face paused on screen with hisvideo game character stats:_

_**Name:** Kenma Kozume_

_**Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It:** Go undercover. Reign in the target by any means necessary & make him trust you: **then destroy him.**_

_**Supplies To Aid You In Your Secret Task Completion:** Hanamaki and Akaashi’s sexy wardrobe, your hair, Tom Collins,’ and your eyes. Use them wisely._

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 3**

* * *

_3 days later, at school with the Fuckboys:_

* * *

Dragging his feet through the campus building hallway, eyes closed, the most handsome Owl in the world let out an obscenely loud whine, _“Awwwwww mannnnn I haaaaaate 8am classes.....”_

Despite the fact that Kuroo is a neuro-science/business double major, Mattsun is (forcibly) pre-med, and Bokuto is in General Arts, laziness shared between the three of them had made it so they took all of their easy electives together. It was always fun to be in the same course as your best friends and do all the same assignments together, especially when they all lived in one condominium. So, even though Mattsun moved out, the three boys would never give up the chance to have at least one class together each semester. 

This new school year: it was Shakespeare 101. 

“We know,” Kuroo grabbed Bo’s arm to maneuver him away from the building pillar he was about to run into. It was plastered with colourful Uni club posters about clubs and extra tutoring help. 

“Matty, why aren’t you complaining with meeee?” Bokuto asked, his eyes drooping. 

Usually, Tetsurō (being the only morning person out of his group of friends) had to do this with both best friends (maneuvering them away from bumping into shit), Mattsun on his left and Bo on his right, but ever since Issei moved he had started to grab coffee in the coffee shop in the lobby of his residence, making him more alert before he even got here.

“Because, Dude, I have caffeine in me now. Here, take yours.” Issei carefully slid his friend’s order out of the tray he carried. It held the coffees he got for himself and his best friends. Bokuto pouted at the ground before reluctantly taking the hot beverage from the middle blocker. Unlike his friends, Baby Kōtarō didn’t particularly enjoy the taste of coffee, but the boys could not deal with his bitchiness on the 2 days of the week he had to be up before 8, so they practically forced him to drink it. 

“It’s a French vanilla, Bo. With an espresso shot, but extra sugar. It’s barely coffee.” Matt reasoned. Knowing the building well, Issei turned a corner and held the door to the lecture hall open for his friends. 

As he followed them in, Mattsun didn’t miss the way the other student filing behind them checked them out.

The gray haired males eyes lit up slightly at the term sugar. He brought the cup towards his face and sniffed it, content now. “Mmmmmm, thanks Matty. I’ve been starving. Ku refused to make me any dinner or breakfast.” 

Kuroo lead the way up the stairs to the centre of the lecture hall, finding 3 empty seats and setting his books in the middle of two. His friends followed suit. In this packed lecture hall, dozens upon dozens of students took their seats and began chatting with their friends or playing on their devices. 

“You gonna hold a grudge Ku, really?” A lazy smile played on Mattsun’s lips. 

“Yup.” Like the Dean’s List scholar he is, Kuroo took out his laptop, a notebook and his favourite pens just like he did every class. The other two Fuckboys did no such thing, Issei slumping in his seat and Bokuto hoping to just pass this semester via wishful thinking like he did his last two. 

“I’m not making food for Bokuto for a week. He almost lost my chances with Kenma.” He turned to Bo, “You’re lucky he changed his mind and agreed to our date because my other plan would've been to change the locks.” 

“Dude!” Bo whined, “I didn’t mean to, I was just telling a story! You should never lie to people man.”

Rolling his eyes, Kuroo defended himself . “It’s not that I was going to **_lie_**. I was just…..”

“ _Going to_ ** _lie_** ,” Issei interjected saltily. 

Kuroo grit his teeth. “Shut up, no, I wasn't going to lie I just didn’t deem it necessary for Kenma to know about those things right then. I was trying to make a good impression! How would you feel if I told Hana or Akaashi about the time you guys—“

“Ah, Akaashi😍.....” 

as if simply hearing his name was a happy-trigger, Bokuto’s eyes glazed over from how they were just challenging Kuroo’s. He began dreaming about the boys’ midnight blue eyes behind those glasses he wore and thinking about how sexy he looked when he was cooking. How sexy he looked _tasting the cream sauce by wrapping his lips around the spoon like the best warm-cream taster there ever was……_

 _Hmmmm 😌_

Kuroo **_was_** explaining something, but he stopped when he saw that Bokuto was way too deep into his fantasies where only Akaashi lived now, apparently. 

He turned to Mattsun, who already had his arms crossed in their usual position, his body slumped so low he was able to lean his head back on the tallest part of his chair, his legs so far out that he would surely trip anyone who needed to walk by. He had to keep pulling them in as students trickled into the lecture hall, the class about to start in less than 10 minutes. Kuroo thought back to the other night, wishing Mattsun had had that courtesy for him when he almost fell flat on his face due to tripping over his friend's long legs.

“Hey man,” Kuroo said, nudging his friend with his elbow. 

Mattsun responded with a low, “Hm?” his lips pressed to the lid of his coffee cup. 

Kuroo flicked his eyes from the group of first years not-too-subtly turning in their seats to check out the Fuckboy trio, but especially staring appreciatively at the tatted one. “ _Freshmen cuties at 10 o’clock._ They look like they’ll faint if you look over there,” Kuroo registered that they were all just under 7s…. **_not bad._** He might have gone over there to talk to one of them after class if his mind wasn’t as swarmed with thoughts of his blonde… just like Bo’s mind was swarmed with thoughts of his brunette. “One of them is a 7.5,” Tetsuro added. 

Issei lazily glanced over, much more lazily than he usually does, and they both watched as the freshmen boys became tomato-red as soon as Mattsun’s eyes met theirs, they quickly turned back toward the professor who had just walked in. 

Issei looked away again, unimpressed by any of them like he usually would be. “Ya, thanks for letting me know.” 

Kuroo felt a slight tug at his heart strings. “Bro, you’re good, right? I mean, you’re not upset about the fact that Hanamaki has a husband or something right?” 

“ ** _Fiancé_** ,” Mattsun corrected. “N’ ya, I’m good. Of course… it fucking sucks, _cause—_ ”

Suddenly, Bokuto gasped loudly. 

The two middle blockers snapped their heads in the gray-hairs direction, looking for the fire. Bokuto’s eyes were blown wide as saucers and his mouth had fallen open, Kuroo guessed that it was because he had been startled awake now.

“Where’s the fire, Bokuto?” Tetsuro asked sarcastically.

There was no fire. Well there was, **_but not a fire in the literal sense_**. But like… if the fire was a _human being_? That fire would be standing right beside the lecture hall doors, scanning the practically full lecture hall for open seats. 

Akaashi Keiji was that fire. 

“What is he doing here!!!” Bokuto almost knocked over his coffee on Kuroo’s laptop. 

“Well… to be fair this is a first year elective,” Chuckling, Issei watched this play out like a television show, never being so happy to have sat down before Keiji walked in. There were some murmurs throughout the class when they too had spotted Keiji, saying things like _‘whoa’_ and’ _’look_ ’ and _‘he’s beautiful_ …’ while Keiji ascended a few stairs to get a better view of the free seats. 

Looking around him and seeing 0 available chairs, Bokuto went into be-extra mode. “Akaashi! Akaashi over here!!” Kotaro somewhat yelled over the students' loud chatter. 

Midnight blue eyes curiously looked around until they spotted a spiky batch of grey and black hair moving about. Akaashi witnessed an eager looking Owl flagging him down, despite the fact that there were no free seats near him. Akaashi looked at the Owl as if to say: _???????!_ Then continued scanning the seats, wishing he had remembered to bring his glasses. 

“Uhhh…. Uh…” in a panic, and with his heart pounding because his muse was here, Kotaro started looking around him for a solution. When he quickly thought of one, he exclaimed an “Aha!” Before turning to the Raven next to him with puppy dog eyes. 

Mattsun bursted out laughing as Kuroo deadpanned. 

“ **No**.” The Raven stated, staring at his MacBook screen to pull up his notes. 

Kotaro huffed. “Wahhhh, pleaseeeeeeeeeee _Kuroo_ , **please**!!! I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll clean the house from now on, I’ll stop playing my High School Musical soundtrack when I shower, I’ll stop borrowing your underwear when I’m out of clean ones—“

 **“You’ll what?!”** Kuroo whispered instead of yelled back because the class was starting. The Prof was calling for everyone to settle down and take their seats. 

“I—I—“ The Owl hurriedly looked back at Akaashi, his resolve breaking because he could now see another man who looked way too appreciative of his GQ-models beauty, tapping Keiji’s shoulder and pointing to two empty seats on the other side of the room. He looked like he wanted to sit over there **_WITH_** Akaashi! Bokuto almost growled, but he didn’t, turning back to his friend hastily. 

“Waaahhhhh Ku please please please please please,” The handsome Ace glued his palms together and squeezed his eyes shut to mimic a child praying. “ _Please, please, please, please, please!”_

Kuroo shook his head. “This is my favourite seat in this lecture hall, I write the best notes here and—“

“I’ll get Keiji to tell me some stuff about Kenma!” Quipped the Owl, thinking fast on his feet in his desperation. 

Kuroo immediately stopped talking.

Issei smirked, totally proud of his Owl friend for that one. 

## _When Bo wanted to be smart, he could be hella smart._

“Yeah?” Kuroo asked, _suddenly_ very interested in giving up his seat. 

Bo nodded desperately. “ **YES** , I promise. I’ll ask him to tell me about Kenma so that I can tell you,”

The Ace watched nervously out of the corner of his eye as Akaashi nodded to the stranger, making a move to follow him to the other side of this auditorium. He whimpered internally. _Okay, a little externally too._

Kuroo stared into the elder male’s eyes, making sure that he was serious. “You’ll ask him what kinda guys Kenma likes? Where he likes to be taken on a first date? If he likes _the cool guy_ or the _intelligent guy_ or the _adventurous guy_..?”

“—Yes, yes. All the above! I will Ku—“ 

And with that, Kuroo stood up abruptly, shutting his laptop all the while. “Alright!” He grinned before hollering, “Hey Akaashi, you can sit over here!” 

The stunning male turned around and Kuroo waved him over.

“Sit here, I need to be closer to the front anyway to get out quicker,” he explained. 

Mattsun gave Bokuto props behind Tetsuro’s back as this was happenin. “Nice, bro—“

Bo tried to hide his bright smile. 

The Raven packed up his belongings, carrying everything with one arm. “Alright. _Let’s go_ , Mattsun.” 

“What?!” Issei halted the sip he was about to take from his coffee, his mouth ajar for it. He peered up at Kuroo. “ _Piss off,_ **you** go. **One** _ass_ requires **one** _seat_.” He shoo-ed him away like he would the dust on his fleshlight at home since it hadn’t needed to be used since he started College. 

Kuroo glared at his Sloth, hissing, “They need privacy! Akaashi is smart as fuck. He won’t tell Bo anything personal about Kenma if you’re there too. He doesn’t like anyone **_but_** Kotaro!”

Issei remained silent because he knew it was true. He could see Keiji probably telling the guy that showed him other seats 'thanks but no thanks' before making his way up the stairs to where Kuroo was about to give him his seat. Issei could see Bokuto wiping off the chair beside him so that Keiji would have a clean seat, happy as fuck that Keiji would be near him soon. The Owl that he loved as much as a brother looked so happy, not even hearing this conversation. 

“You come or I stay,” Kuroo added. 

Sighing loudly, Issei stood up too. They’d never had to do things that required so much effort to get guys before. _What were his new neighbours doing to them, honestly…?!_

“Good luck, man,” Issei whispered, giving his friend an encouraging shoulder-squeeze before following Kuroo to the seats by the front. They both waved to Akaashi who gave them a cold nod. The brunette then took a seat next to Bokuto with a much warmer nod. 

“Thank you, Bokuto-san,” Keiji stated, getting comfortable by taking out his tangible notebook to write notes on. 

Bokuto inhaled deeply, forcing himself not to sigh as his Belle’s scent hit him. Akaashi smelled precisely how you’d expect the best GQ fragrance to smell, with a hint of home, if that makes sense. Bo didn't want to smell anything else for the rest of his life. 

“I didn’t expect to see you three in this class. I recall you telling me you were sophomores…?”

“Yes-you’re welcome! And yes, but we chose to take this elective! You smell _really_ good Akaashi, and You can sit with me anytime you’d like. Every class, if you prefer, I will kick Kuroo out sooner, or I can wait for you outside of class because—“ 

“Again, thank you, Bokuto-san, that is very kind of you. I would be happy to sit next to you for the remainder of the semester,” 

For the first time since Bo started going to this College last year, he realized that he was never going to miss a single class for once.😱 His parents, along with Matsukawa and Tetsu’s parents would be **SO** proud of him. 

Bokuto smiled to himself, keeping that smile on his face throughout the duration of the class. Luckily, after having an entire year in class with Kuroo, he became very accustomed to having someone that is super serious about school sitting next to him, so he knew how to stay quiet. However, considering the fact that he couldn’t even pay a lick of attention to his professor on a normal day—constantly getting distracted by the birds outdoors or the video games on his phone or his shoelaces—Bo found that those distractions were chump change compared to the _obscenely_ difficult time he was having trying to pay attention when the most beautiful man in the world was sitting next to him! Akaashi smelled so good and he looked so good in his unbuttoned denim shirt and off-white undershirt, his black hair all messily perfect and his face all stunning.... Even Keiji’s handwriting was distracting, it looked like the calligraphy that you see on Christmas cards. Bokuto just **_knew_** based off of his notes alone that his Belle was really smart. It made him like him even more because he couldn’t stop thinking about their future child Pinenut and how he would look learning how to write while sitting on Keiji’s lap.The Owl’s heart was fixing to burst at the thought.

It continued like this until class was nearly finished because the professor was giving his wrap-up. 

_About a dozen rows below,_ Mattsun avoided falling asleep only because he had not only finished his coffee, but the coffee he’d bought for his overachieving friend too, because he seemed to neglect it between taking his own notes and something else. 

“Thank God that’s over with,” Issei remarked as the professor told them about his office hours. “I checked yours and Bo’s schedules in the group chat and it sucks that you both have more this afternoon because I was going to ask if you guys wanted to come over now. The parents sent me those cookies we love and sent separate boxes for you and Kobo and…… _you’re not listening_.” 

Mattsun watched in annoyance as his friend bounced his leg anxiously, looking up the lecture hall slant to stare at Bokuto and Akaashi. Issei looked up too, then he chuckled. “Dude, chillax, tf?” 

“You think he remembered to ask? ....Ugh, it’s Kobo, of course he didn’t!”

“Yup, did you really think he **_wouldn’t_** forget? Look at him, he’s whipped as fuck already, he has it so bad that he knows what colour he wants their future house to be. He can’t keep that damn blush off his face.. it's come to the point where I’m pretty sure Akaashi just assumes his cheeks are just red like that all the time since he’s never seen them in a normal shade.”

As the two handsome middle blockers peered up from their location to look at their best friend and his new ‘crush,’ they surmised immediately that Bo not only forgot to ask about Kenma for Kuroo, but chances are Bo had just completely forgotten everything—including what class he's even in—as soon as Akaashi sat down. Bo likely has no idea that class had even ended because Akaashi was leaning close and explaining something to him. It was clear as day that Kotaro’s head was in the clouds, staring at Akaashi and **not** at the paper he should be looking at:

They stared a bit longer than they had planned to, because as well as they knew Kotaro—neither man had **_ever_** seen him act like this before. Sure, Bo was the "sweet" one out of the Fuckboys trio; he always let them stay the night if they were sad to leave, he would pick them up and drop them home, and he was just overall super respectful and way more polite than the middle blockers when it came to hitting on others, despite how attractive he was... But just because he was nice didn’t mean he’s ever been into a guy enough to _blush_ around them. This was strange……different. 

“Why are you so worried?” Issei tried to snap he and Kuroo out of their daze by continuing his line of questioning, 

The Raven's shoulders slumped, snapping out of his stare too. “I’m not _worried,_ but I wouldn’t mind having some more insight on the guy I’m taking out in 2 days, man. Need I remind you that He’s my damn scale-breaker? He’s so fucking hot and even harder to read. I don’t want to screw it up when I worked so hard for a yes.” 

“But you’ve never screwed it up….” Issei reassured his friend, standing up to throw out the empty cups in the recycling bin. He took out his phone to swipe through Instagram as he waited for Kuroo to collect his shit. Mattsun was only 80% shook that Kuroo had never acted this way either. The Raven was usually unabashedly confident in his targets and he--like Issei and Bo--never had to plan so hard to get into a guy’s pants before. 

## _There was a looming essence over them, an essence that felt as though..how things used to be would no longer be.. and it was all thanks to his new hot neighbours._

**With Boku | Aka:**

“You don’t write notes?” Asked the beautiful shorter male, actively ignoring the flirty ‘call me’ looks and gestures he was getting from the immature students leaving. _Ugh, men are so annoying._

Bokuto was bumped out of his daydream by the sound of Akaashi’s velvety smooth voice. “Hm..? Oh ummm… not really. I’m not good at them. Or I end up losing them, so…”

“I can help you write notes. You were so kind to help me make dinner the other night, and then you helped me clean after the party, then you listened to all my complaining about couples, and then you found me a seat today….. it’s the least I can do.” 

Bo barely heard him over his racing heart. **Akaashi was thanking him, acknowledging him!**

“I am glad you are in this class, Bokuto-san, if I’m being honest.” 

Fireworks went off in the Ace’s mind, prompting him to **act.** “What?! Really?! I’m so glad _you’re_ here, Kaashi! Super happy—“

Akaashi smirked, highlighting the important notes he heard before departure. “—I read the syllabus for this course over the summer, and…” 

“Summer? Syllabus…? You mean that thing with everything we are supposed to do in this course? Why would you ruin your summer like that—“

Akaashi laughed quietly, making Bokuto’s chest tighten. _Oh, he was so far gone…._

“I quite enjoy being prepared for my classes, actually. I read ahead.”

The Owl didn’t respond because he was a) confused as to why anyone would be doing school work in the summer and b) he was too busy replaying that beautiful laugh again and again in his mind, hoping he would never forget the sound. 

Akaashi continued, “As I was saying, I checked the syllabus for this class…. And I saw that there is a partner project due in a few weeks. I’m guessing Professor Ahichu will tell us about it next week, but, well… seeing as this is a mandatory course for me, and Makki & Kenma’s schedules were too booked to enrol as well, _maybe you and I could…”_

Bokuto gasped. Within the allotted time since the seating swap, Akaashi had managed to make the older male’s heart clench, explode into fireworks, and now….. **it was soaring.** “M-Me? You want me to be your partner?!” The Owl may or may not have been imagining a different type of partnership than the one being asked of him, but still! 

Akaashi nodded, matter of fact. He looked over at his new friend. “Yes, if you so choose. I can assure you that I pull my weight in group projects, as I need to maintain my scholarship, so I—“

“Yes! Yes times a gazillion, Akaashi. You didn’t even have to ask!” Bokuto wanted to hug the shorter male so bad but he held back. He wanted to kiss him even more. 

Akaashi gave Kotaro a soft smile. The two boys collected their belongings and made their way to the exit after everyone else. 

“Where is your next class?’ Bokuto asked brightly when they stepped into the busy halls, feeling like he was on top of the world. “I can walk you there, since you had trouble finding this one. I know the entire campus!” 

“Um….” Akaashi took a moment to unlock his phone to open up his schedule. “It’s in Hillon Hall West, Floor—“

“Hey, Bokuto! Oh, Akaashi! Fancy seeing you two here!” Yelled a familiar and cocky voice, making Akaashi flinch slightly. 

Bokuto could have stomped on Kuroo’s foot for interrupting his favourite voice in the world, disallowing him from finishing his sentence. Tetsuro threw a long arm over his roommate’s shoulder, looking down at them as if they were much shorter than they were. The smile left Bokuto’s face quickly. He looked for Mattsun to help get this Raven away but saw him not too far away selecting something from a vending machine.

Bo gave up. _He **always** took a long ass time doing that. _

“You saw us both earlier.” Akaashi stated coldly, his _‘no boys allowed’_ wall that only comes down fully with his roommates or comes down the tiniest bit with Bokuto, shot right back up again. Fully steeled.

Kuroo barked out a fake laugh that made Akaashi narrow his eyes. “Haha, that’s true! _Gosh_ , do I have a short memory or what? I’m always forgetting things, haha, _isn't that right, Boko?”_

The Owl glared at his friend. “No. You have an excellent memory—ouch!” 

Kuroo moved his arm to almost squeeze his roommate into a headlock, using it as a sign to _shut-up-and-go-with-it-because-I-did-your-ass-a-favour._ The fact that the three fuckboys never really had to work to get into guys pants, or they worked alone to hit on their targets was absolutely at fault for this chaotic nature where they all kept stepping on each other’s toes.

“So, anyway, Akaashi. Since I have such a bad memory and everything……. I had totally forgotten where your friend Kenma said he likes to go on first dates. You're close with him, aren’t you?”

Akaashi’s cold stare went from Japan-cold to Antarctica-cold. “ _Obviously_.” He bit. 

“Then d'ya mind jogging my memory on the matter…? Does he have a favourite type of food or activity, perhaps?” 

Recognizing the motive, Akaashi just stared at Kuroo’s fake-innocent expression. While Keiji wasn’t good at detecting Fuckboys as proven by his track record, he could at the very least tell that Kuroo was potentially one of them. 

The brunette responded to his attempted manipulation the best way he knew how. “Oya.” He nodded, witnessing the way Kuroo’s eyes lit up and a smile hit his face. “Kenma’s favourite activity is the one when men he’s seeing actively have the balls to ask him the questions they’d like to know... **themselves.** ”

Kuroo and Bo’s jaw dropped simultaneously; Kuroo thinking ‘ _what a bitch’_ and Boko thinking ‘ _what a sexy badass’;_ he fell a bit harder. 

“Anyway, Bokuto-san, I don’t want to be late for my next class too, so...are you still able to walk me—“ 

“Bye guys!” Kotaro escaped from the Raven’s grasp and pulled Akaashi down the hall with him before Tetsuro had a chance to say anything that could make Akaashi not want to have anything to do with them. They left Kuroo standing there shocked. 

Issei, who had heard the whole thing, walked over slowly while chewing a protein bar he got from the machine. He too stared at the retreating figures of their best friend and the ice king, handing a protein bar to the Raven in the process. 

“Yeah. We’re dealing with some monsters,” Mattsun confirmed, speaking between chewing. 

Kuroo just nodded. 

Kenma. Hanamaki. Akaashi.

Monsters indeed: 

## _Really hot, really snappy, really good at this game……….. monsters._

* * *

20-minutes after saying his goodbyes to Kuroo and making plans to meet later that night for video games, Mattsun used his apartment fob to unlock the doors that gave him access to his lobby. His building was quite high end—being the newest of all the ones of campus, so the floors were marble and it always smelled of some type of cleaning solution. It was cool, though, Matsukawa didn't really care because he himself wasn’t high maintenance. He entered the building with his backpack slung behind him, going to stand in front of the elevator doors behind 2 other students with backpacks that quickly left. 

He had been waiting for a while, busying himself by watching ‘Jackass’ videos on his phone when out of the corner of his eye he heard then witnessed a very beautiful figure knocking at the first set of locked doors. Well, ** _half_** of a very beautiful figure. The half-person was a half-person because they held two large boxes taller than themselves so that their top waist-up was covered, and they obviously didn’t have the extra hand available to open that door themselves in their hands-- only able to kick the transparent glass doors instead. Issei could only see their bare legs, since the boxes blocked everything else, but that pair of legs made his mouth water. 

_Deja vu,_ he thought to himself in-interest. **_Major deja vu._**

 _Yeah, he’d know those legs anywhere._ 🤤 He made his way over.

Just as the higher stacked box was about to tip off-- _unbeknownst to the holder-_ -Mattsun ran to the doors, swinging it open and catching the box before it plummeted to the floor. He impressively caught it just in time, and with one hand no less. 

“Ah, neighbz, is that you?! I couldn’t really see who was walking over here! Thanks so much for catching that!”

Matsukawa glanced down at the box in his arm and saw a huge label written in permanent marker saying: _‘MAKKI’S SHIT’_ He wanted to laugh, thinking that was so something he would write on his moving boxes if he had thought of it. Hanamaki steered his attention away from the box. 

“Anyone ever tell you that you answer very slowly? Come to think of it, you walk slowly too.” teased the Pinkie.

The middle blocker rolled his eyes as the pink-haired man walked past him, biting back a groan because Makki was wearing shorts again. _Fuck, did he have anything else to wear that didnt make his ass look like the greatest thing on earth ?!_

About to answer slowly again because he keeps getting distracted by the hottie, Mattsun scrambled to reply. “Uh, ya, all the time, actually. In my High School Yearbook it said; _Issei Matsukawa:_ ** _Most Likely To Have Been A Slug In His Past Life._** ”

Issei was rewarded with Hanamaki’s laughter, which evidently gave him a sign to stop holding the door open and follow him in awe. The Pinkie passed the elevator to stand by the doors to the stairwell.

“Hey, Jackass?” Hana called over when he placed the box at his feet. 

“Excuse me?!” Offended, Issei's eyes widened.

“Oh,” Hana laughed again. “No, I mean, is that ‘Jackass’ playing?” He was referring to the video that Issei had forgotten was still playing on his phone. He quickly scrambled with one hand to shut it off, remembering how much Kuroo and Bo tell him how stupid this show is. He didnt want Makki to think he watched stupid shows. Issei struggled while holding the box but finally managed to swipe the video away. “Oh, uh, yeah. It’s—“ 

“—the wakeboarding episode from season 2, right?” Hana nodded surely, he hugged his torso and looked up at his neighbour expectantly. “Wrecking Ball, Bikini Wax, Bucket Cars…. That episode… right?” 

Matsukawa Issei felt like he was currently on an acid trip. Since when does anyone as fine as Makki enjoy shows like Jackass?? It was always the nerdy-looking guys that seemed to enjoy the shows that Issei tended to enjoy, whereas the hot ones were almost strictly into sports. Not that the middle blocker didn't enjoy sports as much as the next guy, but sometimes he just wanted to see people getting hurt and blowing shit up for fun, you know!? That was comedy gold for him. It was normal.

What isn’t normal, is hearing a fuck-hot neighbour of his recite the precise episode he was watching just by hearing a snippet of it in passing. 

**Fuck.**

“Ye-yes. It’s the Wakeboarding episode. _How’d you—?”_

“I love Jackass, man. Kaash and Kozume hate it, _but shit_ , it’s nice to know I’m not the only person in the world that still watches it, it’s hilarious.” 

Issei felt himself warm up inside. _Same, Makki, same_ … he wanted to say, but to save him some dignity due to the fact that he was gapping at his neighbour like an idiot, instead, he just changed the subject before he--dare he says it--catches feelings.

“What’re you doing with the boxes, anyway?”

“Oh, we got kicked out of the apartment for throwing that party on Sunday so I need these upstairs to re-pack my stuff in them.” 

**_“What?!”_** shouted Issei.

Makki chuckled amusingly. “Dude, totally kidding.” 

“Oh… _Can’t believe I fell for that…”_ he murmured to himself before looking at the ground in embarrassment, then back up to his neighbours face. “So what are they really for?” 

Hiro moved his bangs out of his face in a way that Issei could only describe as beautiful. “We just moved in, remember? Boxes come with the territory, unfortunately.” 

“Right…… and why is it that you’re all the way over there instead of by the elevator?”

Hiro pointed to the elevator and Mattsun followed where he could see a large ‘ _ELEVATOR TEMPORARILY OUT OF ORDER’_ sign on the grey steel. 

“Shit, it’s broken?” _No wonder it was taking so long before_ , Issei must have looked so stupid to Hiro. “So why bring your boxes up now then? Why not wait till they work again?” _Sure, they only lived on the 6th floor, but they were still flights of stairs and these boxes weren’t the heaviest for someone who worked out like Issei, but he could guess they weren’t the lightest either for others._

“Oh, cause I have an evil werecat roommate named Kenma Kozume that has recently learned how to bat his long-as-fuck eyelashes to get what he wants. I told him I left my boxes of….. _nice_ …. Clothes in my car that he wants to look through…. And he wore me down enough to make me come down and get them.” 

“Ah, got it. Well, need any help then? I have nothing to do and i’m going up to that floor too...,” 

‘“Really, neighbz?! Fuck yeah, if you don’t mind. I’d really appreciate it.”

“Gonna cost ya,” huffed Mattsun as he readjusted the box he held, he walked over to retrieve Hiro’s box and placed it on top, so that he was carrying two. _He may be showing off a teeny tiny bit. 👌_

“Whoa, _Big man on campus_ ,” Makki whistled sarcastically, impressed but not surprised, since the tatted man was super toned. 

Issei tried his best to hide his grin. “Oh, you have _no_ idea,” he said lowly, winking at his hot neighbour. 

Hanamaki rolled his eyes but a smile was visible through them nonetheless. He told Mattsun he’d be right back so that he can get one last box from his car since Issei decided to take two. 

Upon return, the Pinkie smiled, “It’s so clutch that I'll get this done in one go, thank you sooo much. You ready?!” 

Issei readjusted his grip under the two boxes that were still pretty goddamn light for him then started toward the staircase. He used his backside to hold the door open for Makki, unable to let a guy as hot as him do anything for himself if Mattsun could help it. 

“Fuck, you don’t peg me as the gentlemen type of fuckboy. I thought you were the weedhead type of fuckboy, y’know?” A smile played at Hiro’s lips as he lead the way up the stairs in their building.

Matsun smirked at that..... “Well maybe I’m the _‘I-act-different-depending-on-how-badly-I-want-the-person’_ , type of fuckboy. Ever thought of that?” 

Issei heard the Pinkie sigh loudly instead of laugh like he’d been expecting, and he didn’t like the sound at all. 

“You alright? Do you need me to carry that box too, because I ca—“

“Look, Mattsun. That’s flirty joke number two, so let’s get this conversation out of the way now because I really don’t want this to be weird later on….”

Matsukawa quirked an eyebrow but kept his chill, slowly following Makki up the stairs; their positions giving him the best view of the Pinkie's ass... 

As he stared at Hana’s backside the entire time, he couldn’t help but think; _Damn it, what an ass._

“Wh-What is it?” Issei asked, two beats too late if he was going to convince Makki that the deliberate sway of his hips just now _totally_ wasn’t what made the brunette stutter. 

The Pinkie shook his head before explaining himself. “Well, _you’re attracted to me_ , and I just think—“ 

Matsukawa almost tripped over a step! “Oi. Cocky, much? **Says who?** ” 

Takahiro scoffed at being called cocky. 

“Fuck off! Says the way I don’t need to look back right now to know you are staring at my ass!” He bit back, unlike Mattsun in that he _never missed a beat._

Mattsun couldn’t even argue with that logic. _He definitely had him there._ 🤷♂️

The fact that Hiro could find that out using his scheming ways simultaneously turned Issei on and made him wanna hide from the man forever. 

“Not... true.” Issei lied weakly, feeling his face heat up. He looked to his left at the door they passed just to see that they were now halfway, passing floor 3.

“Let’s say I believed you. Allow me to rephrase because maybe that was the wrong word choice that may have triggered the wrong response, I digress,” 

“Whoa. You just went full Sociology 202 on me, Prof.” 

Makki growled cutely. “Shut the shit up. I’m trying to speak.” 

Issei knew that he probably shouldn’t be turned on in a moment like this……but damn: _was he **ever **turned on in a moment like this! _Such a potty mouth on this one 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 Issei was so in lust 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 

“Like I was saying,” Hanamaki continued up the final flight to the 6th floor. “Let me finish and you’ll see where I’m going. Now, how do I put this? I don’t think you’re attracted to me, like, in some weird or unique way, uh, but at the very least you find me hot….” 

Mattsun couldn’t understand how Hiro was so casually saying this—super casually—as if he had just told Issei that he knows his favourite colour is pink. (Because it may or not be now… ever since pink fuzzy slippers and pink hair knocked on his door)

Was he that obvious with his attraction that Hiro saw it so clearly? (all the guys Mattsun had slept with in the past always made it clear that they had no clue he had been interested in them due to his perpetually uninterested demeanour, so this was new). Or is it that Hana is just insanely observant? **_Were those two options equally bad?_**

Anyway, hearing Makki call him out for thinking he’s hot, it was now the middle blockers turn to scoff, (though his definitely didn’t have as much bite behind it). He flashed back to what his Owl bestie had said this morning in class briefly: 

🌫 🦉 _“Dude!” Bo whined, “I didn’t mean to, I was just telling a story! You should never lie to people man.”_ 🦉 🌫 

And while Mattsun had completely agreed at the time (he didn't think Kuroo should have tried to deny that referee story), having usually been in the middle of his two friend’s state of minds over the years, Issei now agreed a bit more with Kuroo when it came to this particular situation. When in doubt like this and without the liquid courage, Mattsun couldn’t think of anything to do **_other_** than lie. 

“I do not,” he fibbed, “You’re decent. Cute, at best.” Major, major fib!

Makki, silent, opened the door to their floor, holding it open for Mattsun this time with one of his hands around the large box. 

Issei avoided the pretty intense eyes on him as he made the final trek up the last set of stairs behind Hiro, stopping and meeting those eyes when they were on the same level. Surprisingly, Hiro had a frozen smirk on his handsome face, an amusing expression on it as if he could read Issei’s thoughts. 

The middle blocker had never in his life felt so…..naked. 

Mattsun held his ground where he was as opposed to going through the door to their floor. He was trapped by those fucking eyes.

“What?” 

Hanamaki shrugged joyously. “Hm? What do you mean, what?” 🙂

“Why are you staring at me like that?” 

Hana pulled back as if he’d just been accused of a crime. “Listen, if you can stare at my **_ass_** , pretty sure I can stare at your **face**.”

 _Touché_. Thought the brunette, unable to contain his small gasp at the fire back. 

EVERY TIME this pink haired hottie matched Issei’s energy, it was like Matsukawa was in the twilight zone. He’s barely known the guy for a week and he has already realized that he’s never ‘clicked’ with anyone so instantaneously before. 

“What’s your point?” Asked Mattsun weakly, not denying it. _How could he when he has glanced down at Makki’s legs thrice in the past 10 seconds?_

 _You’re almost home_ , chanted the middle blocker to himself. _Keep your eyes up, Think about those legs when you get home._

Makki adorned a sweet smile. “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all anymore 😌. Since you’ve decided we’re going to lie to each other, I have nothing else to say to you, ever.” 

“Huh?” 

“—I’m the best ignore-er in my family, you know. I’ve ignored my sisters for a Hanamaki family record of 8 months when we lived in the same house—and the only reason why I let up was because it was one of their weddings.” 

As if he’s known him forever, Mattsun had an immediate feeling that Makki wasn’t playing around, and that story was true. _So Hana was going to ignore him…?_

Uhhhh..........

“I got the vibe that you were really honest, Neighbz. You seriously gonna prove my radar wrong? I can give you one more chance, if you’d like it. So are you ready to be honest....or?” 

“ **A-about**?” _Why was he so nervous?_ No guy has EVER made him nervous before! _GET A GRIP,_ **Mattsun**. 

“If you don’t stop lying then I can’t talk to you anymore. Why do you think Akaashi and Kenma are my best friends? They’re brutally honest.” 

There was a pause, and Issei didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t even guess where his neighbour was going with this. Luckily, Hiro wasn’t done. 

“Besides,” he continues, looking down cutely and squeezing Issei’s heart in the process. 

“Besides..?” The brunette choked out. 

“Besides. I thought you’d sort of like to know what I think about you, too? I mean, I’d be happy to share if you decided we are going to be honest...” Somehow, his voice seemed softer and Mattsun just about lost it when Makki reached out to touch his forearm over the box. It made all the hairs on that arm stand up (something else wanted to stand up too), and Issei gulped. Hiro continued softly, “I mean… that’s only if we’re being honest with each other....”

Hmmm......

 **So Hanamaki's the question is:** Does Issei Matsukawa want to know what the hottest guy he’s ever seen in his LIFE thinks about him????!!!!!!!! 

## _**Issei's Answer:** Are memes the best thing to come out of the 2000s ???????? ⁉️⁉️⁉️_

Matsukawa was pretty shallow, not to mention horny....so he finally accepted defeat, looking away from the really hot guy, he admits,

“—Okay, **_yes_** , and yes I do,” 

A glorious smile took up the entirety of Makki’s face. “ _Yes you_..........?” 

“Yes, I was staring at your ass. It’s an amazing ass, what have you. And yes, I do find you hot.” Mattsun’s eyes visited those soft legs again, then he threw caution to wind. “Fucking _plasma hot,_ if you want me to be more specific. You happy?” 

A slight blush met Makki’s cheeks. It was barely noticeable. 

“Splendid. Thanks for letting me know Neighbz.” Makki patted his neighbour on the back then cheerily lead the way onto their floor.

Mattsun watched him, dumbstruck. 

_Uhhhhh….._

 ** _Was he missing something here?_**

“That’s it?” Issei called, jogging to catch up with Hana so they were walking side by side.

“Def! The only reason I wanted you to admit it, if it was true, is just cause I wanted to see what type of person you are. And I wanted to know what type of **_person_** you are…..because….welll…..fuck, this is _embarrassing_ to admit….” 

Issei thought this brilliantly confident man looked so mind blowingly cute when he was timid. He’s so used to seeing outspoken, jokester, party-host Hiro, so this....this was very different. It felt like a treat.

“..What’s difficult to admit?”

Makki was blushing and it made the taller man feel all weird and mushy inside, he hated it.

“Issei,” the use of his given name took the middle blocker by surprise. Makki hadn’t called him anything else other than neighbz (which he liked that cute nickname, made him feel special because it was made by him). So, hearing ‘Issei’ was a little odd, but it spoke to the precariousness of this conversation. 

The brunette wondered why the Pinkie was being so shy all of a sudden and why he was using his name?! 

“Mhm?” The brunette prodded, staring at the beautiful guy beside him. 

Takahiro took a deep breath and tried again, speaking with much more (familiar) conviction this time. Hiro stopped in front of his door and fumbled for his keys. “I Uh..... I want............. Uh, I asked you about your attraction to me because, well......... I........

##  _ **I want to be your friend.”**_

This time, Issei said it out loud: " _Uhhhhh.....” He_ had no idea what to make of this.

The shorter male stopped fiddling with his keys and set the box down in front of his door. He took a box from Mattsun’s tower too and then the other one, setting everything down on the ground so they could really look at each other. He sighed.

“Like, I want us to be friends. You and me. I think you’re really funny and cool and I think we speak the same language, you know?” 

The middle blocker almost blushed. “Yeah….” 

“We laugh at the same shit and you fucking get my meme jokes. I feel like you would attend shitty comedy fests with me and you actually seem down to go somewhere to people-watch, just to secretly make fun of them like I do. I’ve never met someone like that, you know?” 

Mattsun couldn’t agree more. “For sure,” he bit his lip. 

“I know it’s stupid as fuck but we’re neighbours and I’ve never felt the need to make another close friend cause I’m lucky to have ones like Kenma or Akaashi already..but I realized after the party that I want **_you_** to be my friend, too, so... I wanted to do it right. Ugh, I’m not making any sense am I?” He groaned. 

“No, no. it makes complete sense to me..” Issei shrugged, making Hana smile so big that Issei's heartbeat decided to rival nascar drivers with its speed.

 _Even when he’s being awkward he’s still so freaking beautiful._ Mattsun just stared.

“So….. do you……y’know…. want to be my friend, too, maybe?” 

Issei nodded, triggering Hana to smile wider and finally steadily use his key to open his door.

Genuinely happy with how this worked out, Mattsun smiled too. “I have to be your friend. Who else is going to go to the Monster Truck Rally with me in 2 weeks? I was thinking about asking you.” 

**“** 😱 **WAIT.TOKYO** **MONSTER MANIA?!?!!** Ohhhhh fuck! **Dude, are you kidding ?!!!** I’ve visited resale sites every day since it sold out in the first 20 minutes!!! **How were you able to snag tickets?!”**

Issei picked up the box he’d carried up and walked into Makki’s empty apartment with it, “I know a guy.” He grinned smugly.

“Holy shit... I will owe you majorly, then. If I found tickets I was going to go alone, because not Kenma, Kash, **nor** Hirugami wanted to go with me, and—”

Suddenly, Matsukawa froze hearing that final name. Fuck.

He’d been so happy discovering that he and his neighbour would in fact form a friendship that Matsukawa completely forgot what would have disallowed them from being friends in the first place! It’s like…. being in the presence of the amazing shit-disturbing Tornado of a man made the brunette completely forget the fact that Mattsun wanted to fuck the Pinkie's brains out- but he **can't** because he is engaged. 

Or maybe it was whenever he wore shorts. _That ass made him forget a lot too, mind you..._

But no matter how you swing it it was true: Makki was engaged. Issei had been wondering before how the Pinkie knew that he found him hot but he’d totally forgotten that he’d spent 15 minutes at a party talking about how sexy Hiro is, all the while his Fiancé was listening in, acting as if he was just another one of the boys who thought the same thing. Wow, how pathetic of him not to remember. 

Oh God 🤦, Issei wondered how that conversation went: 

_On screen: we see a conjured up scenario from Issei’s imagination, consisting of Makki (dressed in a skimpy nurse outfit because, well…. this Mattsun’s mind we’re talking about) and a Hirugami, only this Hirugami had a teddybear-head for a head. His human head was no where to be found in this imaginatory excerpt, go figure. Both men sit on a couch facing each other and Sachiro (through the teddy bear's mouth) says;_

 _“Hana, I know you’re completely out of my league but you should know that your neighbour thinks you're hot. He kinda admitted that he wanted to fuck you, too.”_

 _Whereas Hana responds, “Oh, really? I’m gonna ask him about it… Then, I’ll consider leaving you.” Hirugami disappears, and in this completely made-up setting--Hiro then stands up and starts slowly stripping off his petite nurse costume._

##  _**[Ummm….. let’s just cut this imagination excerpt short, shall we?…**_ **👉👈😳]**

"Hey, Makki?” 

Makki set the box down on a chair at their kitchen island and then made his way to the fridge. “Hm?” He retrieved two sports drinks and brought one over to Matsukawa. “What’s up?”

The taller male wasn’t sure why he felt so freaking comfortable right now. As if he knew the Pinkie his whole life. As if he could talk to him about anything. “Thanks. And uh, Sorry. I just…. uh…..you.... you _don’t mind that I think you’re hot?”_

Without missing a beat, Hiro twisted off the cap of his drink and shook his head. “Hm? Oh! No, not at all!”

“I see…….” Mattsun twisted off his cap as well. “Any reason… um… **why**?” 

Hiro seemed confused. “Huh? Why would I care? I just wanted to see if you were a liar or not and I established that you aren’t.” 

“That’s not weird for you…?” He didnt want to make Makki uncomfortable, so he was just making sure.

Hana literally wasn’t following, his eyes widening a little at the questioning. “DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK. No. Why would that be weird?!”

 _Because you’re engaged_. Mattsun wanted to say. _Because your fiancé knows that I want you in my bed?!_ It is true that Mattsun absolutely was no relationship expert, but he knew enough to know that boyfriends usually wanted to punch his face in if he showed interest in their significant others. 

If Hiro was Mattsun’s, he probably wouldn’t want his new friend at University to be the guy that he’s heard expressed interest in fucking his Fiancé. 

“Oh. You’re asking because of Hirugami?” 

Issei didn’t need to answer because the Pinkie knew. 

“Oh, he doesn’t care. The best way I can explain it is like this….: You think Bokuto and Kuroo are good looking too, don’t you?” 

Issei had to think about that for a second. He thought about his two best friends that got stared at everywhere they went. “Um, y-yeah—“ _but—_

“See. And they’re your best friends! I also consider my roommates handsome; Kenma and Akaashi are stunning, really. But they’re still my other halves. It’s human nature, and them being attractive didn’t stop you from being friends, just like _it didn’t stop me from being friends with Ken and Kash.”_

Ah. Now Mattsun got it… 

It made a lot of sense, really. Matty could definitely admit that Kuroo and Bokuto were good looking people, but like…. He **never** saw them _that_ way. It was completely objectively speaking. What Hiro was heavily overlooking was the fact that even though Mattsun considered his best friends and Makki’s best friends attractive, it was MAKKI that got his heart racing. It was Makki’s smile and voice and laughter that stuck in his mind when he was washing the dishes or sitting in class. It was Makki that he wanted in his bed every night, not Kuroo or Bo or even Akaashi or Kenma. It was Makki that turned on a light in his mind that he had to suppress because he had a fiancé. No one else has made him feel this way. 

But it’s probably just the shock factor, it’ll go away soon.

Mattsun wanted to ask if Hirugami was _truly_ Okay with this, but then remembered that his fiancé had seen Makki’s flirty behaviour. The reason why he’s probably so indifferent is because Hana acts that way normally. It doesn’t mean anything when he touches Kinoshita's arm or Mattsun’s arm. At the end of the day, there’s only one man’s ring he has around his finger for a reason and Issei had never seen a brighter smile than the one Hiro reserved for his fiancé. 

The middle blocker pretended he didn't feel it, but it hurt him a bit to realize that Hana and his fiancé saw the idea of them being friends as a totally okay option because they were mighty aware that Hiro felt the same way toward Mattsun as he felt toward Kenma or Akaashi: **_platonic, friendly._**

“From speaking to people at the party, I know that you’re pretty popular around here, if you catch my drift. You’re in your fun stages, and I applaud that honestly. Sachiro and I don’t believe in that dumb shit that says when you’re in a relationship you can’t have friends. Especially now that I know you’re not a liar, who cares!!” Makki did that thing with his bangs that made Issei want to pull him close and press his lips to his forehead. Hiro had no clue what he did to the middle blocker. “Like, Neighbz, can you imagine we all started going through life denying friendships with handsome or beautiful humans just because we thought they looked good, haha.” 

## _**Then you’d be absolutely friendless…**_

Mattsun couldn’t help but think to himself. He immediately cursed his sappy internal rhetoric. _What was happening to him? Hanamaki’s explanation made perfect sense when it was laid out like that, but could Issei really do it? He probably could, granted he just needs to resume his schedule. He hadn’t gotten laid since the first night he met Makki, so he’s probably just horny. Yeah, that’s it._ Issei finally took a sip of his energy drink to calm himself down. “Ok. I get it. Yeah.” 

Hana smiled. “So we’re good, Neighbz? It sounds lame as fuck… but we’re, _you know,_ friends?”

Matsukawa stared into the dark and sexy eyes of the Pinkie. He had so much he wanted to say but he would unconsciously suppress the urge to say them in order to maintain this pull towards a friendship that he’s had since he’d first heard the shorter male’s brilliant banter. 

_Makki was right, right?_ At the party, Mattsun spent the night realizing (before he’d even known Hirugami existed) that he’d be perfectly content not getting to fuck Hiro, so long as he was able to chat with him the entire party. He liked, no **loved** being around him, even just as friends. They could joke around, play pranks, send memes to one another, and drink together. Like he said before, it felt like in separate life Hiro and himself **_were_** best friends. They could do that now, and it would be awesome. 

It was only a plus— _or a minus, depending on how you looked at it_ —that Mattsun found Hana fine as hell. There are so many fish in the sea for Matty to fuck anyway.

 _Eh, whatever...._ as usual, Issei pushed anything that required too much brain exertion to the far part of his mind, burying it, deciding he was happy with this.

“For sure. Friends.” He nodded.

“Dope! Now, Neighbz pleaseeeeee show me where our Monster Truck show seats are. I’m gonna cry—!”

* * *

* * *

“ _No, no, no, no, and no.”_ Kenma stated dryly, handing an Owl back the handful of clothes he’d just given him. “Akaashi, please tell your boyfriend to stop trying to pick out clothes for me!” 

_“Not my boyfriend_ ,” Keiji sung, approaching the changing room with a **real** pile of choices for Kenma’s date. As Kenma quickly sifted through the options and Akaashi watched, neither of them saw Bokuto completely deflate at Akaashi’s matter-of-fact denial. Bokuto knew he wasn’t his boyfriend, _but could Akaashi maybe not have said that so quickly?_

“Try them,” stated the beautiful man in glasses, turning away knowing without having to stay there that Kenma would like his choices. He knew his roommate’s like the back of his hand. 

Kenma, who had his blonde head poking out of the changing room stall, his hair half-up-and-half-down, quickly looked at Akaashi’s choices and brought them into the change room. Akaashi walked over to where a rather sad looking Owl stood, his shoulders and head down. 

“Bokuto-san,” said the beauty softly, thinking Bo’s sadness is him being upset over Kenma’s clothing-rejection instead of his [air quotes] **boyfriend-rejection**. “Don’t be sad that he doesn’t like the clothes you suggested. Kenma is insanely picky. This is his first time shopping in like, 5 years.” 

“Shut up, Keiji!!” Shouted the blonde from inside the stall. 

Akaashi smirked, lifting his hand to place it on Bokuto’s in order to take the pile of clothes from him. He walked it over to the ‘not buying’ counter outside the dressing rooms. The grey haired male felt the touch and immediately sucked in a breath when the tingles stemming from his hand made his entire body feel light. He stared at that hand longer than was normal, perking up because Akaashi **_touched_** him!

“How do they fit?” Keiji called, turning to face the closed white stall door after placing the disregarded pile down. 

Kenma called back, “They fit well so far. I like a lot of these pieces,” 

“I knew you would. Show me,”

“Nuh uh, **no**. Not if Bokuto is here.” 

Within the frame between Akaashi having been on his way to the library with Bo but then getting a text from Kozume to help him find an outfit for his date at the mall, Akaashi had completely forgotten that Kenma was shy. 

“So why did you tell me Bokuto-san should come!”

Akaashi could practically seeeee his roommate rolling his eyes. “Duh. So that he can tell you what his friend likes and doesn’t like. He should be advising you, not picking stuff out on his own!” 

_Okay, so maybe Bokuto had been getting carried away…..maybe_. There was a reason for it. Unlike most little brothers, Kōtarō sincerely enjoyed going shopping with his sisters growing up. He liked looking at all the clothes and seeing all the colours and styles: it fascinated him! He hadn’t been able to do any of that since he left for College so yeah, he may have gotten a bit carried away. 

“But if you do not come out, then how will I give you my opinion?” Akaashi offered.

“This **is** your opinion. You picked these. I actually like them, so I’ll probably buy them all and then choose an outfit on the night of.” 

“Wow, Okay. I’ll go look at shoes, then.” The gq-model turned to the taller male beside him that was still staring at his right hand. “Would you like to come with me to look at shoes while Kenma tries those on, Bokuto-san?” 

The Owl was already nodding enthusiastically upon ‘would you like to come with me’ because yes; _he’d like to come with, come for, and come inside Akaashi,_ so that’s all he had to hear to say yes. 

*

The two males browsed the shoe racks, Akaashi looking at the boots and _Bokuto looking at Akaashi looking at the boots._

“Do you know what kind of clothes Kuroo-san likes on a guy, Bokuto-san? I know it sounds like we’re using you as a cheat sheet, so you don’t have to answer, realistically, but truth be told… Kozume hasn’t agreed to go on a date with someone in like..... over a year. And that date was via webcam, so he didn’t have to leave the house. Your friend must have done a number on him to make him not only want to say yes, but go shopping to impress him with a new outfit choice as well. Needless to say Hana and I really want this to go well. You say Kuroo is a good guy, right?” 

Bokuto beamed. “Oya! Kuroo is **the best!** Matty too! They’re my favourite people in the world. Kuroo, he cooks, cleans the house and helps me with my homework, he’s like some annoying older brother, even though I’m older than him.” 

“So he’s kind and caring,” Akaashi gathered, 

“Yes! And as for what he likes on a guy……….” Bokuto scratches his head, looking upwards in deep thought. “Oh! He likes when a guy shows a lot of skin.”

Keiji‘s jaw dropped in surprise. Not exactly what he was expecting to hear. “Oh…?” 

Kotaro nodded. “Yeah. _Pretty sure,_ but I could be wrong. I mean… he was totally into Kenma-san when he was basically one giant blanket at the party, so maybe he’s over that skin thing…..” Bokuto frowned because he knew he wasn’t giving Akaashi an answer that would help him. “But honestly,” Bo raked through his memory. “...When it comes to Kenma-san I have a feeling he could wear a paper bag and Kuroo’d be drooling. He thinks your friend is super hot,” 

Akaashi didn’t know what to do with this onslaught of information. He’d only been expecting to hear whether Kuroo was into nudes or black, so this.....was.... _interesting? Helpful? **Obvious already?**_ It made Keiji feel like he was hearing information he shouldn’t, so he backtracked. “Um, Okay. Well, that’s good, right? I hope they have a successful date.” 

“I HOPE SO TOO! THEN WE CAN ALL HANG OUT!” 

Akaashi blushed because of how loud Bo was being and how the other shoppers turned to see where the commotion was coming from. “Bokuto-san,” He picked out the perfect pair of boots and a few pair of sneakers that he thought would work with the outfits he previously handed his blonde friend. “ _Hang out?”_ Keiji repeated uneasily. 

Now it was Bokuto’s turn to backtrack. “N-not like that!” He yelled (even though he wished it was like that). “Hang out with Makki and Mattsun too. As a big group of friends!” He reassured. 

Akaashi de-tensed unknowingly, making Bo relax. He didn’t want Akaashi to think he was coming onto him. Any man making their advances were immediately and automatically pushed out by the brunette by his steel wall, and Bokuto did not under any circumstances want to be one of them. Akaashi was like a militia alarm system used to combat the male sex, and Bokuto had to go against a lot of his instincts not to set them off. 

“Right. I think that would be fun,” Kaashi smiled at his grey haired acquaintance. 

Settling back into a comfortable mood, the two boys finished shopping with Kenma, Kenma purchased about 20 items including those boots and fits that Akaashi picked out, and they exited the mall. Bo helped place all the bags in Hana’s car that Kenma drove here in. They said their goodbyes and just as Bokuto had his seat belt on and was telling Akaashi the story about the time Matty saved him from being eaten by an alligator, Akaashi interrupted him to say he forgot his glasses-case back in that store! 

“Oh! I’ll get it, Akaashi!” Bo offered politely. 

“No, Bokuto-san, that’s too kind of you. I’ll get it.” 

“ _Okay_.....😔” Bo frowned, looking very, very sad in the passenger's seat. Kōtarō was now looking down at his lap and his grey and black hair had deflated slightly. Bokuto was like a little puppy, it tug at the shorter man’s heartstrings. 

“Bokuto-san,” 

Kōtarō looked up with wide eyes. 

“Would you....” Akaashi blushed slightly, “Would you like to keep me company?” 

Perking up just like before when Akaashi touched his hand, Bokuto jumped out of the car. This time, Keiji was ready for it, and it made him smile because his sunny energy was quite infectious.

It was like Bokuto was a hammer, chipping away at the ice cold fortress that was Akaashi with his light. He only made half a dent so far though....a mere half a dent on a **60 foot wall.**

 *****

The two strolled into the busy mall again side by side, talking about normal things like school and food. They were about to pass the food court that was near that expensive store they’d just been in with Kenma, when Bokuto suddenly realized there was no one walking beside him anymore. 

He came to a complete stop, incredibly confused. 

“Akaashi?” He called, but all he could see around him were random mall shoppers going on about their day. “ _Akaashi????”_ Bokuto called a little louder, spinning around like he was a dog chasing his own tail. 

What the...? “ ** _AGAAAAAASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII_** —AH WHOA,” Bokuto yelled, and that’s when he was yanked by the back of his t shirt backward by someone with a lot more strength than Bokuto thought he could have. The Owl stumbled backward, not completely falling because two soft hands sandwiched him, one hand on Bo’s back and the other on his chest to keep him steady. 

“Akaashi, what are you—“ 

“Bokuto-san, shhhhh!” 

The beautiful man had steadied Kōtarō but was still acting very strangely. He was hidden behind a huge indoor plant in the centre of the mall, crouched down slightly. His body faced Bo but his head was turned almost fully the other way, peering over one humongous leaf toward that store they had just been in. Kuroo thought he resembled a spy of some sort. He imagined Keiji in one of those skin tight Black Widow costumes 🥵 and immediately felt Kōtarō Jr., harden a little. He had to snap out of it.

“Shh? Why? It’s a mall! What’s happening over there? I wanna see!” Kōtarō fired questions, ever the most curious George in the world. He studied Keiji’s expression for a bit, deciding that whatever Akaashi was peering at over there wasn’t good, and it was making him feel as though he needed to hide. **Kōtarō didn’t like that at all**. He tried to move but Keiji’s surprisingly strong hands pushed him back, holding him in place with one hand on his pecs and the other in the centre of his shoulder blades. Bokuto tried not to think about how his Belle being strong turned him on. Akaashi misunderstood the beating heart under the Owl’s chest as nerves due to the rash force behind Akaashi’s pull. 

Once the Owl had reigned in his hormones, he stood on his toes to look over the large leaf to see what had the brunette acting so out of character. “Akaashi! What’s over there—!” 

Belle’s hand instinctively shifted from its place on Bo’s muscular chest up so that his finger was over Bo’s lips. 

“ _Zzzzzt._ Just. Be quiet for a second, Bokuto-san. Don’t say my name again,” 

Bokuto couldn’t stop it this time. He got a freaking semi just from having Akaashi’s finger on his lips and the others on his back. _Oh God, Bokuto just wanted to open his mouth and suck on the digit_ , but the sound of the busy mall reminded him that he was in public. The Owl’s eyes shot open nonetheless. He appeared cross-eyed because he was trying to the best of his ability to look at Akaashi’s soft finger on his lips. 

_He must get manicures like Kuroo does,_ Bokuto thought to himself. _Every part of Akaashi is pretty!_

Then, as if being pulled back to reality just like he’d been pulled behind this freakishly large plant, he heard Keiji gasp, then saw him turn his head back to this side of the leaf, no longer peering over his shoulder. 

“He’s coming! Is he coming?” Akaashi whisper-yelled, a look of absolute panic settling over his gorgeous features. Bokuto snapped out of his fixation on Akaashi’s finger just for a second. 

He watched with concern as Akaashi’s chest heaved up and down as if he really was a spy. A spy that was about to get caught. 

Who was he hiding from? Who were **_they_** hiding from? 

...

...

...

💡

Maybe it took Kōtarō’s mind a half second longer than it would take anyone else to get there, but he did get there, nonetheless. And when he did, his protective mode kicked in like crazy. Keiji had removed his hands off of Bokuto (sadly) and was now pulling at his fingers anxiously. 

Concerned, the Owl now whispered because that’s what was asked of him. “Agaaaashi.....why are you hiding? Don't tell me that's your ex?!” 

Akaashi, who still looks incredibly beautiful currently tucked behind the huge plant, nodded, biting his lower lip.

Bo’s eyebrows furrowed together. He wanted Akaashi to know (without telling him outright) that he didn’t have anything to fear so long as he was around. He’s never had an ex-boyfriend, but he remembers his older sisters avoiding their exes like the plague when they’d see them out in public, too. However, when it was unavoidable and his sisters had to walk past them: his sisters would wave curtly and their exes would wave back— making everything okay. So really, Bo didn’t think Akaashi had to be so panicky. Perhaps he just needed a helping hand to show him that and that would make him feel better—loosen his panic. “So why hide? Let’s say hello!” Bokuto started to march over happily, but Akaashi stopped him by squeezing two hands around Bo’s bicep, pleading at the Owl with his eyes not to let them be seen. 

Bokuto had never been under such an intense gaze before. Those midnight blue eyes held so much behind them, making the Owl freeze immediately. Akaashi is the epitome of someone who spoke with their eyes, and right now he was screaming at Bokuto: 

## _**Stop: Danger Ahead.**_

The Owl heard it loud and clear. 

Instead of asking Keiji to explain himself, Bo tried to connect the dots himself. 

Bo had to fold the faux green leaf down a bit to see, his vision constantly being blocked by the happy shoppers walking by. He inspected the area with squinted eyes, passing over several groups of girls, and older moms, and teenage boys, before his eyes settled on one man standing in front of the Armani store. 

Bokuto knew right away, call it intuition, that that was him. 

The man had on an exorbitant black tuxedo, one way nicer than the one Bo had in his closet at home. He was about Bokuto’s height, jet black hair slicked back with gel. The man was talking loudly on his cell phone, sunglasses still on as if he couldn’t be bothered to take them off, and it was obvious he was on a business call. He was pacing while he spoke, pacing rather authoritatively past the mall entrance then straight toward the mall plant. When he did so he looked as if he was going to head straight for the Owl and Belle—so Bokuto let go of the leaf a bit to shield himself—but then the man would turn back on his heel and walk in the other direction again. His shoulders were permanently straight and confidence exuded from him like crazy. He was definitely some major CEO somewhere, that’s for sure. 

“The guy on the phone, that’s him?” Bo asked quietly, without looking away from the intimidating man. 

Akaashi made a small noise that wasn’t exactly English, but somehow Bo knew that was a yes. 

The gray haired didn’t know what to think. He still didn’t understand why Akaashi was so dead-set on hiding from this guy...? He looked normal to him. Definitely kinda scary, as if he snaps at waiters when they don’t know the origins and fermentation behind every single wine option on a menu or something....but he looked, uh, **_normal,_** nonetheless? He looked nothing like the sketchy guys his sister’s exes were... the ones who looked like druggies or ex-cons. 

Either way, Bokuto can distinctly remember that his sisters felt better when they were on good terms with their exes. They even said it! So maybe that’s what Akaashi needs, too. Maybe that will help him and then he can start letting people in again! That would be amazing. 

Not realizing the gravity of the situation, Bo walked out from behind the tree, undetected by anyone, while extending a hand out for Akaashi to follow. “Akaashi, we don’t have to say hi, but let’s just walk past him and—“ Bo was interrupted by sniffling sounds that tore at his heartstrings, forcing him to look over. 

Tears could be seen forming in those cobalt blue eyes that Bokuto was so in love with.

Immediately, he forgot everything else, his heart squeezing and his main concern shifting to making sure the look of Akaashi on the verge of tears will never be seen again. 

“Oh, okay, Akaashi. Okay. Of course. I’m sorry.” Placing his arms tentatively around the shorter male, Kōtarō moved them both so that they were behind the plant again. From this position, holding Akaashi to his chest, Bokuto’s heart felt like it was being wrenched. The look in Keijis eyes..... it was so much worse than the pain he saw in them at the party. The most beautiful man in the universe to Bo was hugging him back, face buried in Bo’s shoulder, breathing deeply. _Bo knew this wasn’t the time for words._ He didn’t know the situation, so what could he say, anyway? Right now, he just needed to be there for Akaashi in any way that he needed like he promised himself he would. Right now, Akaashi needed someone to hug. From where they stood they were well hidden.... but Bokuto could still see Akaashi’s ex pretty well from here.

Knowing he can’t ask but still wanting to know....if only just to help.....Kōtarō pulled the leaf down behind Keijis back. 

While Bokuto dismissed the fact that the man in the suit looked well-kept and put together, he also took in, however, that the man was older. Not like 40s or 50s.... but err, definitely much older than Akaashi; who was in his early 20s. If Bokuto had to guess he’d say the man was somewhere between 35 and 40 years old. Interesting. 

Kōtarō was not judging. On the contrary, it actually made sense to him that someone as mature, classy, brilliant, and perfect as Akaashi dated older men that had their shit together....he was way too good for any guys Bokuto knew at their age. Bo couldn’t even picture those first year boys being able to give his Belle what he deserves, _no way._ Although, knowing that Keiji’s ex was almost double their age ** _did_** make Bokuto feel as though Akaashi was way further out of his league than he’d already accepted. Keiji needed a real man in his life....one like his ex. _So did he even have a chance?_ Bokuto still needed his mom to do his laundry when he got home. He felt extremely discouraged. 

Kobo watched as the man hung up his call and then checked his Rollex impatiently. Clearly, he was waiting for somebody right in front of the store they were just in with Kenma. He wasn’t going to move so maybe Bokuto could tell Akaashi to return to the car. Kotaro could retrieve his glasses case alone. His ex didn’t know him, so there would be no need to even say hi. He was about to relay his plan when Bo saw something that finally made it completely sensical as to why Keiji wanted to hide. 

Actually, he heard it before he saw it. 

_“Daddy!!!!!”_

“Dada, Dada!” 

Two miniature figures, one about a head taller than the other, ran toward the man in the Armani suit, running straight for his back. 

“Aha, heyyyyyyyy!” laughed the man as he quickly spun around. His arms widened and two little girls ran right into their fathers embrace, giggling uncontrollably. “Whoa, you guys are so strong!” He yelled as if he was in pain, pretending to be impacted by the weight of their running hug. He swooped up both giggling toddlers, standing up with one in each arm. The little girls, one blonde and one brunette, both with pigtails and a stuffed animal in the arms, hugged their father and kissed his cheek. 

“Hi, babies! I missed you two so so much!” 

“Daddy, you missed my recital!!!” whined the brunette one in his right arm. 

“Da Da, mwiss!”

The man pretended he’d been shot in the heart. “Aw, I know pumpkin. And I’m so sorry. Daddy had a work thing. But I’m here now, and I will not be leaving for a while!” He nuzzled the little girl's neck with his gelled hair, making her shrill with laughter. He then did the same thing to the smaller blonde one, and soon the three of them were laughing so lovingly that a video of them could be used to sell laughing gas to mimes. **He appeared exceedingly nice right now.** Bokuto knew that Akaashi had obviously been really hurt by this guy, so obviously there was something wrong with him, but this visual was making it hard to believe, _**UNTIL** _he heard the deepest laughter of the three quiet down and then the voice said, 

“Where’s mommy? Did you guys eat her?!” 

The girls giggled, yelling ‘no,’ and then pointed to an approaching woman. Said woman was wearing designer clothes too, a floppy hat on her head, high heels on her feet, and she had long blonde hair. 

Akaashi’s ex lit up. “Oh! There she is!!! Hi, darling,” 

Bokuto stilled when the women came over to kiss her husband and complete the vision of a perfectly happy family. 

“Your daughters have been giving me trouble all.day, Ueki.” She huffed tiredly. “Glad you’re back home.” 

Kōtarō watched in awe behind the leaf as the man set his two kids down gently before snaking both arms around his wife’s tiny waist. “Glad to be home with my favourite girls.” He spoke loudly so his daughters could hear. “And.... I also wouldn’t miss our 14-year anniversary for anything.” He finished, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek with enough force to make his wife dip in her heels. She blushed, giggling just like her little girls had. Those two toddlers each reached up to grab a parent’s hand cutely.

“Wow,” Bokuto breathed, watching the scene play out in front of him. Then, he had to duck and cover because the family really _**was**_ heading in their direction now. Bo made sure to move them out of the way. He finally looked down at his muse in his arms, feeling horrible and unsure about everything he’d just witnessed. 

_“Keiji, did you.....?”_

“I had no idea,” He whispered into Bo’s chest, clutching the back of his sweater. _He was telling the absolute truth._

“ _Does_....does the wife....does she kno—?” 

Keiji shook his head. “No, she doesn’t know.” 

The concerned Owl let Akaashi’s tears soak the Ace’s shoulder. Keiji sounded so guilty, and it wasn’t even his fault. 

“His kids don’t know either. I don’t think anyone knows he’s gay or even likes men, but he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and and so when I saw him I panicked because I didn’t expect to, and I just... can’t face him-I—I can’t because I’m still........I—“

 _“Shhhhhh, shhhhhh._ ” Bokuto rubbed the back of the sobbing man to soothe him. He was astonished by how much it hurt him to hear Akaashi cry. It was such an intense distaste that he didn’t even react to the fact that he was holding this man so close. All he cared about was being what Akaashi needed right now, which was a makeshift shoulder-to-cry-on. 

“I’m sorry Bokuto-san, I’m so embarrassed right now. You barely know me and this happens! I made you hide behind a plant and I—“😢

 _“Shhhhhh, shhhhhh._ ” Bokuto continued rubbing his back, resting his cheek on top of Akaashi’s beautiful head, “Hey hey hey, don’t apologize to me, ever. Shhhh shhhhhhh....” He wanted to tell Akaashi that he doesn’t care that they’d just met because he wants to know everything about him, but that would be too forward, so he just settles on whispering, 

## _“You can hide, Akaashi. You can hide forever, if you want to. It’s just like you asked me outside before we came in here: you can hide: I’ll just keep you company.”_

* * *

* * *

The following Friday afternoon (9 days after the mall scenario), Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi sat at their usual spot in _Uni Brunchette_ , having just been served their beers by their usual waitress. 

## _**“Wait. So Kenma rejected you THREE** **times before agreeing to go on a date with you?!”**_

asked Bokuto, since this old news was apparently new news for him. He was sitting across from Mattsun, and Kuroo was beside Bo at their 4 seater table; halfway inside and halfway on the patio. 

The September breeze outside mixed with the air conditioner inside was the most incredible feeling as they each took large gulps of their drinks on this hot day. 

The Raven-- _the incredibly excited Raven because today was the day he was taking out Kenma_ \--nodded with a wide grin that took up his whole face. He folded his arms behind his head as if he was lying on a hammock in one of those _‘Visit The Bahamas Today_ 🏖🥥🍹🕶 !’ commercials. 

“Ah, Indeed. He was playing his video game when I asked the first few times but as soon as he put it down and actually looked at me, he changed his mind. In other words.........He wants me!” Kuroo smiled.

“But he didn’t want you when he rejected you 3 times,” Mattsun’s eyebrow raised. “And he postponed once already, right? So coach really ripped into you for nothing.... Please make sure he’s actually into you, bro. Why couldn’t he go last weekend again?” 

Kuroo’s smile didn’t falter. “Oh, yeah. Coach was pissed that I switched training days but hey, at least it’s not on Fridays anymore! Maybe Kenma will want that to be ‘our night’ and I can look forward to fucking him weekly, you know? Some guys need scheduled dick appointments like that.” 

“What was his reason for postponing?” Mattsun repeated. 

“He said he just wasn’t in the mood to go on a date that night. So I asked him to reschedule and he said sure. Next Friday, a.k.a: today. I’m just glad he didn’t cancel indefinitely. I had 2 other dates lined up for tonight but cancelled them both for him.” 

"Matty, Kenma is definitely into him. He was trying on all these outfits just for the date and Akaashi even told me that Ku is the first guy in a long time that Kenma has said yes to." When Mattsun seemed satisfied with that answer and Kuroo looked like he'd just won a Grammy, BoKo nodded, knowing he would have cancelled any plans too if Akaashi agreed to go on a date with him. “So... are you gonna be bold and try to sleep with Kenma-san on the first date, or...?” 

“Well.....I’d love to,” Kuroo still had his eyes closed. “But.... I doubt he’d be down.” 

Mattsun offered some advice. “Huh? What about your text plan? Isn't it a foolproof way to get a guy in bed, when you pretend to be interested in things they like and shit before the date so that they jump your bones?”

Kuroo grinned. _That_ ** _had_** _always worked, hadn’t it?_ Smh. “I tried it.” He stated.

“And.....?” 

Kuroo looked down before murmuring unintelligibly. “And.........um..... _hes_ rdtvvyvy _never_ tcdrxtcanswereyvtct _rd_ t _my_ tcrxdrtfvyubihuxr _texts_ bbubug.” 

“Huh? What was that?” Mattsun was smirking now, cupping a hand around his ear. “Can you say that a bit louder bro?” 

Kuroo looked positively peeved for the first time today. (He’s been on a date-with-Kenma- **high** since Monday, unable to stop talking about this special night. 

“I said....” he grit his teeth together before purposely speaking so low no one could hear him. “ _Kenma never answered any of my texts….”_

“What? He never answered any of your texts?!” 

“How did you even hear that 😑😑😑...” 

Mattsun laughed. “Wait so he didn't give you his number?! I could have sworn I heard you ask—“

“Yeah, he gave it to me.... _after_ _I begged_ _a while_..... but he doesn’t answer anything I send him. I told you guys: _he isn’t **like** the other screws, man_. The only real messages I got from him was him saying he’s gonna cancel our date, then one saying he is okay with rescheduling it to this weekend, and then once I asked him why he doesn’t answer any of my texts and he said he said that he reads them, but he doesn’t see a point in replying until he sees how the first date goes.” 

“Well shit.” Issei shook his head in disbelief. “Obviously Hana is my favourite by far, but I can’t say I don’t admire how savage Kenma and Akaashi-san are, haha.” The middle blocker examined his own sleeve tattoo. “Spoken like a true guy whose used to losers bombing the first date, huh?” 

Kuroo nodded. “Hell yeah. His personality is so hot to me, it’s like I’m finally getting the taste of _the chase that others are always talking about._ If I had a dollar for how many guys have dropped their jaws when I told them I had a date with Kenma this weekend…... _Man,_ it’s such an ego boost knowing my scale breaker is so unattainable...” 

Mattsun wanted to say, ‘ _you wanna talk about ‘_ _unattainable?_ _’_ but he thought otherwise, not wanting to go there and start thinking about Makki like he has been doing a lot recently. 

Right now, he’s here for Kuroo. Bokuto and Mattsun both knew how crazy hyped Tetsurō was for tonight, he has been trying and failing not to talk about it all week—but now it’s here, it’s later tonight, and as good friends: Bo and Matty knew they ought to take their friends brunch offer so that he can talk their ears off, blowing off some steam so he doesn’t do that to Kenma who would probably walk out in that case. 

“Where are you taking him?” 

“I told you already, it’s a surprise. I’m not telling you, cause you’re so tight with Hiro, and I’m not telling Bo, because he has practically called dibs on purchasing the bed Akaashi sleeps on after he’s done with it.” Kuroo took a few more chugs, wanting the alcohol to calm the knot in his stomach he was desperately pretending wasn’t there since he woke up. “But I’m **certain** he'll love it. He’ll be so happy I guarantee he will want to leave the amazing date early to go back to _his_.” Tetsu ignored his dick hardening at the thought. “Just make sure to keep Hana and Kaashi out late like I told you to, cause, fuck, I plan to make him scream..”

“You’re pulling out all the stops, huh?” Matty quipped. “And you actually seem excited for this. I’ve never seen you like this before.” 

“Yeah well I’ve never met a scale-breaker before. _Dude_.. he excites me, man. I can’t wait to show him that he didn’t make a mistake accepting my date offer. And it’s not like he just excites my dick cause obviously: _he excites my dick._...but--but Kenma excites me in ways I can’t quite put into words. He’s already given me heart palpitations every time I see him on campus EVEN THOUGH he refuses to let me walk him home, it’s insane that I’m still interested. I’ve only met him a little over a week ago but I can’t get him out of my head, fuck. I want him to want me, I want to…. Ugh, just he’s so freaking hot....”

Issei nodded. “ _Yeah_ ……I know the feeling….” 

“Do you? Explain.” 

Shit. Matty didn’t mean to say that out loud. 😬

“Wait a minute.” interjected Bokuto , as if he’d been thinking about something for a long time. “Wait. _So neither of you find it strange that Kenma-san agreed to go on a date with Kuroo_ ** _after_** _he had just rejected him seven times?”_

“OI It was **THREE** times, THANK THE FUCK YOU 😤!!!.” Kuroo snapped.

Bokuto turned away from his yelling roommate. “Matty! You don’t find that strange??” 

Mattsun made space at the table for their appetizer just as it was being set down. “Nah, not really.” He handed sharing plates to him and the two other boys. “I saw an ad that said that this year, more people wanna do their good deeds for the helpless. By saying yes to Kuroo, Kenma was probably trying to get on the nice list early. _You know, rack up some good karma_.” 

Bokuto laughed loudly, and Mattsun--who usually had a great poker face after a joke--couldn’t help but laugh too at the way the Raven was glaring at them. 

Kuroo was not in a joking mood when it came to this subject. Not at all. “Yo, Bokuto. Has Akaashi told you how many days there are until Makki’s wedding?” He smirked. “Do _you_ have any idea...Matty?”

Mattsun started to get up to do God knows what to the Raven that he couldn’t reach while sitting down, but Bokuto grabbed his arm to hold him back. 

“Hey hey hey, Matty, you know he’s just tryna fuck with you. Kuroo is mean like that. --Told me Akaashi used me as a Swiffer Duster at the party last Sunday, remember? And you talked me out of switching his shampoo with vinegar.” 

Coming to his senses, Mattsun nodded, ending up just ruffling Kuroo’s hair (which the Raven hated) and sitting down. 

Tetsu should have blown up, but he only frowned. He stared at the steam coming off the appetizer. “Can I be honest with you guys?” he inquired softly.

Bo nodded. 

“Yeah so... First off; sorry. I said that stuff because I was mad at you guys. But look… I know we all used to joke like this all the time with the other guys we’ve fucked or dated, but.... _and I’m almost certain you two feel this way too_.....but.. For the first time....I... I **care**....about the jokes: when it comes to Kenma. I really don’t want my chances to be ruined with him; joke or not. Ugh, I don’t know what’s happening to me.” 

Completely understanding because they felt something very similar for a certain gq model and Pinkie, the Sloth and Owl responded in unison: 

**_“Me too.”_**

 _Without having to spell it out because they’ve been friends for so long, the three made a silent deal to chill on the jokes a bit._ With that silent deal...in the vibrant, bright College brunch spot, An air of apprehension immediately engulfed the fuckboys. 

“Anyway,” Kuroo stated, digging into the appetizer himself. “You guys said you’re coming here tonight with Akaashi and Hana?” 

Mattsun nodded and Bokuto cheered. “Ya!!!! You wanted us to get them out of their apartment but they actually suggested it! Hana and Akaashi say they’re celebrating Kozume-san getting out of the house, so we’re coming back here for a few drinks. We’ll be here late though, like 11? So you should have the place to themselves after then. It’s gonna be so fun!” 

“Sounds so good bro. Hopefully by then I’ll be balls deep in my scale-breaker,”

“You’ve never disappointed me before!” Bo cheered, Mattsun only nodded. 

For some reason, even though the tatted friend accepted the apology and knew that Kuroo only meant it as a joke earlier; _He couldn’t get that inexistent wedding date out of his head._

Forgetting his line of questioning about Kenma’s motives from earlier, Bo encouraged his best friends to begin eating and stuffing their faces. “So Kuroo! Mr. Legend. Mr. Steal Your Man…. I propose a toast. A toast to you.... being the only one to get a date with the new hot freshmen trio. I’m truly proud of you bro, and I hope it goes well. You ready for tonight?"

Kuroo couldn’t keep from grinning, his chest puffing out without his permission. “Fuck. Yeah, I am. I want time to move faster. Tonight is— _ **stupid**_ ** _mosquito .... shoo fly, shoo!_** ” Kuroo aggressively swatted the insect away with his hand. “Tonight is the night that I hopefully get some ass and win over my Blonde!” They clinked glasses, Kuroo swatting away that same mosquito again!

 _*** At the same time, elsewhere....****_

##  _ **Bzzz…. Mosquito 🦟 Bzzz….**_

##  _ **🦟**_

 _A loud buzzing can be heard in the watcher's ears, we follow the camera through the eyes of that pesky mosquito, it pans out, leaving the 3 boys’ clinking glasses. Camera angle takes a front seat inside the insects eyes as the tiny mosquito travels past the happy College customers of Uni Brunchette, zooming past the waitresses on the sunny patio, dodging a giant mojito and practically hurdling over a notebook, takes a bolted left around the Japanese streetwalkers, over the store goers and under the traffic, surging a few blocks down the street at an unprecedented speed where we follow the camera-mosquito zooming toward a specific door that just opened because someone had waltzed in. Our mosquito tried to catch the door that was about to shut but we didn’t make it in time. It slammed closed before we could get in, so the camera-mosquito backs up, then zooms up high, scaling the side of a building on this sunny day. The POV camera angle races past floors 1,2,3,4 & 5, then zips left, passing several curtained windows until it sees a window cracked open and rushes through it. _

## _**🦟**_

 **-Return to Normal camera angle.-**

“Hana! You little shit, that's why I said shut my window, please! **I told you mosquitoes would get in!** ” whined Kenma as he rushed over to his window to force it closed. Annoyed, he swatted a mosquito that just zipped in through the crack with a book he had, effectively killing it. 

Hanamaki laughed, wiggling his pink fuzzy slippers that were hanging over the end of Kenma’s bed. “I’m sorry, Ken. But I need some fresh air if you’re gonna keep trying on these outfits. I’m used to seeing you in blankets. **You look so hot** ,” 

Akaashi, who had just re-entered with the boots he’d picked out last week for Kenma on that wretched day, nodded. 

It was obvious what was happening here—if the clothes that were **neatly** ( ~~because: Akaashi~~ ) placed around Kenma’s room _were any indication_. The three pretty boys were currently choosing an outfit for Kenma’s date night. They are currently on outfit choice number twelve, and they were choosing out of the clothes Hana had brought up from his car with Mattsun and also the new clothes Kozume bought last Wednesday. 

“I must agree. You look stunning in everything so far, Kozume. But this one….wow. It makes your hair and eyes stand out.”

Kenma blushed, wishing they’d just comment on the clothes as if he weren’t in them. 

Hiro and Keiji tried not to show it, but they were over the moon that their little blanket monster was finally interested in someone **and** that he was getting out of the house for the first time **_in years!_** They were so happy that Kenma MIGHT have actually found someone he was into!!!

## Ha, _**little did THEY know...........**_ 😬 

“Try it with these,” Keiji kneeled in front of Kenma to help him put on the boots. Meanwhile, Hiro flipped onto his stomach, draping himself on Kenma’s incredibly comfortable bed. “Kenma, Kuroo is going to looove this bed,” he spared playfully, 

Kenma could only blush.

Hiro had been saying stuff like this all day to tease, but when those boots were zipped up and Akaashi stepped away, Hana’s jaw dropped. He twirled his index finger to motion Kenma to spin around just like he did for the last 11 outfits, and Kenma obliged. 

“Holy shit, dude.” Hiro pretended to fan himself. “Kenma, if you wear that all night without letting Kuroo dick you down at the end of it... he might sue us for his hospital bill treating blue balls.” 

Akaashi rolled his eyes. “No need to be so vulgar, Takahiro.....” 

Kenma usually agreed with Akaashi on that front... except for the simple fact that ‘Kuroo blue balls’ was **EXACTLY** the look he was going for. 

“Really?” The blonde looked down at his outfit. It felt very comfortable for him, but it was definitely much sexier than the things he’d usually wear; **so it might be perfect.**

“I’m so fucking serious. Like, poor Kuroo will not be able to keep it in his pants when he sees you….... _at all_.” 

“You do look amazing in this, Kozume. I too think that Kuroo-san will be quite aroused by this number,” 

Smiling shyly, Kenma walked over to the mirror he'd discarded prior because he had two mirrors in his friends. He looked at himself through the reflection, taking in his appearance from his new boots all the way up to his face. He recalled how Kuroo told him that he is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen last weekend, and also over a few text messages that Kenma left on read. Kozume also remembered how Akaashi told him that Bokuto said something like: Kuroo wouldn’t mind if he wore a plastic bag on their first date cause he’d still find Kenma—himself— _hot._

It made him roll his eyes, because ‘ _what a shallow douchebag Kuroo is_ ’, only caring about looks. Calling his good friend a _5-point-whatever_ and leaving him at a bus shelter. He felt himself getting angry again just from thinking about his soon-to-be-date's superficial personality, so he stopped himself. 

_The point is,_ Kenma reasoned with himself, _that if Kuroo liked how he looked when he wore a blanket-poncho at that party or if he would like how he looked in a plastic bag,_ ** _then_** _.._..

##  ** _Well..._**

The Raven wouldn’t know what hit him if Kenma opened the front door wearing this for their date!

“He likes it! You can see it in his cat eyes!” Hiro punched the bed with both fists for dramatic effect. 

Akaashi was just as excited, but he kept to a minimum on the exterior for good reason. “Kenma-san, do you agree? Will you wear this this evening?”

Kenma nodded, still not believing he looked this good in his mirror. He never payed much attention to his own appearance, but... Um Wow: _his hair, his eyes, his wardrobe..._

 ** _W_** ** _ **as** he ever using his tools to aid in his Mission properly. _**

“Are you excited!?” Makki smiled. 

_Was he excited?_ How could he _NOT_ be?! Kozume’s mission that he needed an extra week to devise a game plan for (so he postponed the date with Kuroo) would begin tonight. He’d begin his journey toward getting revenge for Shōyo and Akaashi and every other guy fucked over by A 'Kuroo Tetsurō'….. tonight! It made him so incredibly hype, that there was a knot in his stomach as if he was about to save the world. He took games way too seriously, but...

##  _yes,_ ** _HE_** _WAS_ ** _BEYOND EXCITED._**

However, Kenma had to remind himself that while he was excited-- **he was also undercover** , which meant that, to save face and keep his friends at bay/under the impression that he was just going on a normal date...he grinned, turning from the mirror to look at his friends. 

“I’m nervous, but very excited, guys. Thanks so much. I can’t wait, for _tonight_ is the night that I win over Tetsurō Kuro.” _a little theatrical,_ Kenma thought, _but it will do!_

🤗🤗AWWWWWWW🤗🤗….....” Hana and even Akaashi couldn’t stop themselves from coo-ing at their shortest friend, rushing over to engulf him in a hug that they knew he’d hate but didn't care. They didnt care because they were just so happy for him!!

And well, while it's true that Kenma hated hugs, he quite liked the fact that his 6’0” friends arms' around him effectively hid the evil smile that crept up on his face from view…. 

He wouldn't want them asking any questions as to why he was smiling like that, because, like he said: **_for tonight is the night that he wins over Tetsurō Kuro._**

 ** _And… well,_** Kenma thought to himself, _the terms_ ** _“Win over”_** _and_ ** _“Reel in and eventually Destroy”_** _are interchangeable,_

##  ** _right?_**

* * *

* * *

**In Hirugami's voice:**

 **" Next Time, on**

 **Fuckboys, You Might Wanna Sit Down For This: "**

**Kuro | Ken**

 _Kenma leaned in and kissed Tetsurō’s cheek before getting up to get another round of free drinks with Kaashi._

 _“Kenma is really flirty when he’s drunk, huh?” Mattsun asked from his seat across their table._

 _“Dude. Mhmm.” Kuroo hummed in agreement, wiping a hand over his face. He sipped his drink and swallowed way harder than was necessary._

 _“And he looks really good tonight, huh?” Mattsun asked, teasing his best friend._

 _“Dude. Amazing.”_

 _“And.....” Mattsun smirked. “He’s turning you on acting like that and looking so good, isn’t he?”_

 _Another aggressive gulp was forced down by the Raven. His expression read that he was in pure agony._

 _“Dude. I’m dying.”_

**(!) Mattsun & Hirugami:**

 _“Look, dude, about the other night… I wasn’t trying to steal your man or anything—”_

 _“—Aw, no, honestly—don’t worry about it, trust me. I’m pretty quiet and half my coworkers tried hitting on him before I made it clear that he is mine.... You see, I know better than anybody how good looking Hana is…. He’s a force to be reckoned with and he likes to tell people that try anything with him to ‘fuck off’ a lot, but I haven’t the heart to tell him that that doesn’t take away from the fact that he is so handsome & strangers don’t know he’s taken. I guess the ring isn’t helping much either though, haha. I love him so much…. but I also proposed because I'm always away and I know that if I don’t show him how much I love him, I’d risk missing out on the best thing that's ever happened to me, right?”_

 _“Right.......” Issei murmured, hating the way the jealous knot in his stomach tightened by the second._

 _“I know Hana’s a catch, so don't worry about it. Every time I look at him I’m surprised he likes me...“_

 _“ThenThatMakesTwoOfUs.” Issei grumbled under his breath._

 _“Sorry? Couldn’t hear over the music--”_

 _“--What? Huh? Oh, it's nothing. Just have something stuck in my throat.”_

**Boku | Aka:**

 _Heart sinking, Bokuto wiped the last of Akaashi’s tears from his face. He whispered fondly, “Hey, Kaashi…. mind if I ask you something?”_

 _The brunette nodded, taking off his glasses to wipe under his eyes properly._

 _Kotaro’s voice cracked when he tried once, then it cracked again when he attempted again, so he tried really hard to get it right the third time: “Um...Would you ever...maybe…..y’know…. consider giving another guy a chance again? I mean: if he was the bestest, gentlest, loyalest, boyfriend in the world and he cherished you and cared for you more than he cared for himself and he didn’t let anything bad ever happen to you!?” Bokuto's heart was pounding like the bass at Uni Brunchette on Saturday nights._

 _Akaashi, eyes wet and looking so beautiful it hurt, stared deeply into the Owl’s eyes._

 _“Hmmmm..." He began, "I—“_


	6. Series Art WTFFF

Hi, guys! 

Sorry that this isn't a new chapter, but I just wanted to post this art for my series so you all can see it! I will be edited with my title much better than the crappy way I did it & at that point I will edit it in here but I was too excited not to post this right now! 

The next episode should be posted **sometime at the end of next week.** I just finished exams so that came first :) Thank you all for your constant support I can't wait for y'all to read the update!

**What do you think??**

Artist: @halfquaint _(twitter)_

_ALSO, I HAVE A TUMBLR SIDE BLOG DEDICATED TO MY SHIPS NOW. FOLLOW ME & SEND ME ASKS IF YOURE BORED <3 ----> **@shiplikeme**_


	7. EPISODE 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! This will be a multi-episode post as well! Ahhhh I live for this fic hahah, please tell me your thoughts at the end<3 it may be 3 episodes long actually, **I wrote so much.** I'm editing as I post with no BETA, though, so if you're reading in real-time then the other chapters from this marathon will be posted hours between each other so I can edit. 
> 
> Happy New Year to you all, and thank you so much for reading my fic <3

* * *

**In Yamamoto’s Voice:**

**“ Previously, on**

**Fuckboys, You Might Wanna Sit Down For This: "**

_ Kuroo to Akaashi then Akaashi to Kuroo: _

_“So, anyway, Akaashi. Since I have such a bad memory and everything……. I had totally forgotten where your friend Kenma said he likes to go on first dates. You're close with him, aren’t you?”_

_Akaashi’s cold stare went from Japan-cold to Antarctica-cold. “Obviously.” He bit._

_“Then d'ya mind jogging my memory on the matter…? Does he have a favourite type of food or activity, perhaps?”_

_Recognizing the motive, Akaashi just stared at Kuroo’s fake-innocent expression._

_The brunette responded to his attempted manipulation the best way he knew how. “Oya.” He nodded, witnessing the way Kuroo’s eyes lit up and a smile hit his face. “Kenma’s favourite activity is the one when men he’s seeing actively have the balls to ask him the questions they’d like to know... **themselves.** ”_

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 4**

* * *

“Oh, oh, **oh** , oh, _mmmm_ , right there, _ **fuckk,** your dick is so good_...” Absolutely wrecked, the pizza delivery guy seemed to moan louder than Mattsun’s ever heard him moan as Issei railed him from behind in his bed. 

Matsukawa liked doggy style a lot, but for some reason he was having trouble getting off this time. The fuck buddy on his hands and knees in front of him was tight enough, a pretty decent lay in Issei’s book, and sort of an awesome 2-in-1 deal since he brought pizza with him.... but there was something wrong--and Mattsun couldn't quite put his finger on it. Since they’ve started, the man under him has finished twice (and was now close to his third orgasm) already, fuck. 

Mattsun went faster, pounding in and out of his sub, squeezing his eyes shut to force himself to get out of his head and focus on the pleasure coursing through this dick from penetration.

“Fuck, fuck, _**yes**_!” The delivery guy moaned even louder, squeezing Issei’s sheets in his hands and then reaching a hand behind him to splay a hand on Issei’s tatted arm, asking but not wanting him to slow his pace. The delivery guy’s third orgasm hit a second later and Mattsun almost rolled his eyes. 

He could always get his partner off multiple times, it was a given. _But what was up with **him?**_

It never took Issei this long to get off before: especially in his favourite position. He’s pissed, and horny. 

“Shit😐.” Slowing down then effectively pulling out, Mattsun got off the blissfully sated man. He threw out his own empty condom, then dressed himself with the clothes he threw on the floor an hour ago. 

By the time Mattsun was fully dressed, the exhausted delivery guy was finally able to move, a very satisfied expression plastered on his face. He sat up, and Mattsun glanced down in jealousy at his conquest’s filled condom before leaning down and tossing the guy his Pizza Place uniform. Matsukawa then unlocked his phone to scroll through Twitter. 

“Thanks.” the guy answered sheepishly, knowing the drill of ‘ _We fuck: then you leave’_ very well by now. Still, he could sense Matsukawa was tense about not getting to finish while he did- _-three wonderful times_.... so he felt a bit awful for that.

“I could, uh, go down on you.... um, again... _you know...”_ he blushed as he stared up at Matsukawa, and Issei didn't even glance up from scrolling on his phone. 

“Huh? No, that’s okay.” Is all the gorgeous man answered.

“Okay...” The delivery guy (that may of may not have a secret crush on the tatted middle blocker) ( ~~he totally does~~ ) frowned, reluctantly starting to dress himself too. “You sure? I don’t mind...” 

“Don’t you have to get back to work?” Matsukawa snapped, not meaning for it to come across so rudely... but he hadn’t been this sexually frustrated in months and he just wanted to get himself off to porn or something. The pizza restaurant employee halted putting on his uniform hat that had dancing pizzas all over it. 

Issei clearly wasn't happy, and he didn't know what to say. 

He didn't need to know what to say though, because in the same moment that Issei scrolled down his Twitter feed; using his troll account to fuck with Kuroo, Bo and his high school friends, an iMessage notification dropped down from the top of his screen. The alert made the middle blocker’s straight face turn into a huge smile.

Of course, it was a text from Makki. 

He sent Issei a picture of the shirt he has that displays their favourite Monster trucks because, of course: they happen to have the same faves! The middle blocker’s mood immediately lifted. 

“Not your fault, anyway,” he added to the delivery guy, quickly selecting a gif and sending it back to Hiro right away. 

By Mattsun reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault, the pizza delivery guy smiled and blushed at his lap. He finally put his hat on all the way. 

When they were both dressed, Issei lead the way out of his bedroom door and into the kitchen. He stopped only for a second then continued, but the delivery boy literally yelped at the sight they were greeted with in Mattsun’s open-concept kitchen. Honestly, he had every right to yelp because Issei’s apartment was empty before they fucked. 

Unsuprisingly, Mattsun just rolled his eyes at the Owl now sitting on top of his counter (instead of the bar stools that were meant for sitting 🙄), scarfing down a slice of pizza. Probably his fifth. 

“Bo, I thought I told you to text me when you’re gonna come over here and use your spare key,” murmured Mattsun nonchalantly, making his way to his front door with an embarrassed-conquest in tow. 

Bokuto smiled apologetically. “Oh sorry, Matty! And hey, _Pizza dude!_ How are ya?! God, judging by your screams in there now I know why this pizza tastes way better than the ones we get delivered to our house! **_You tell the cooks to make it extra good for Matty or sumn?!”_**

Turning red, the man widened his eyes before mumbling something unintelligible and hauling ass out of there! Matsukawa grinned in relief that he was left alone just as he closed the door behind him. 

“I’m gonna shower. Save me some fucking pizza, will’ya?!” 

“Sure!” 

After a long shower, in which Matsukawa was expertly able to jack himself to release with just his hand and no porn: _~~but maybe instead of porn he had the~~_ _ ~~the mental images of a certain ‘monster truck lover’ in a skimpy nurse uniform~~ ,_ Mattsun and his best friend ate, talked about pointless shit, and watched some Netflix while sprawled out on Issei’s couch. A perfect day in their books. It was around 8pm when the conversation switched to Mattsun’s neighbours,

“--Akaashi said they want to see Kenma off on his date and then they have some errands to run, so they’ll meet us at Uni Brunchette around 10.” 

“Cool,” Mattsun shrugged, then turned to his friend seriously. “All I know is Kuroo better not fuck up this chance.” 

“Yeah I know, Kuroo will be really pissed if he doesn't win over Kenma tonight, it’s all he talks about.” Then, Bokuto being Bokuto, he reached up to part his hair and pin it over his right eye, imitating a certain Raven. He slowed his voice to match. “My blonde will love me after tonight when he sees what I have planned, I will have that beauty wrapped around my finger in [insert the number of days left until the date here]. My scale-breaker is soooooo fuuuuucking hot I just want to fuck the shit out of him until he forgets he rejected me 8 times. _Hey, Bokuto, stop drinking straight out of the juice jug that we share--”_

Mattsun cracked up, leaning forward and holding his stomach as he laughed to his heart’s content. His Owl is amazing. 

“Right, right, **gold...** ” Mattsun said when his laughs began to calm down, “but it’s not only that!” 

“I--wait, what do you mean?” The Owl scratched his head, letting go of his Kuroo bangs so his natural hair could stand up again.

Issei appeared more serious when he thought about how he’d explain this to Bo. “Dude......You’re friends with Akaashi, right?” 

The grey-haired’s eyes lit up, completely and utterly whipped. “Uh huh!” 

“Right--And I’m friends with Makki. But we are also friends with Kuroo. Hana and Keiji are friends with us but also with Kenma.....”

 _“Okaaay...........”_ It was clear Kotaro wasn't following. 

Mattsun stared at him pointedly. “Bro, if their date tonight is a massive bust, that means that Akaashi and Makki will take Kenma’s side, while we’ll probably take our dickwad friend’s side, and then things could get weird between us all.”

When Bokuto made that _“OH”_ face, Mattsun nodded before continuing. “We are two trios that are really strong friendship-wise, so can you imagine us all being buddy-buddy if Kenma hates Kuroo and Kuroo hates Kenma? Would Akaashi and Hiro expect us ** _not_** to invite Ku somewhere? I can't even picture that and it’d be the same for them.... Akaashi and Makki always want Kenma with them, but if Kuroo is pissed at Kenma chances are he would want us with him, not them. They probably won't want us to bring Kuroo near them, and by extension us--- at all anymore. Our friendships could be royally screwed.” 

“Noooooooooooo!” Bo pouted as he normally did, looking off to the side like he’d been kicked. “Fuck you’re right..........” He ran a stressed hand through his spiked hair. “Even worse... Akaashi cares about Kenma so much that if Kenma cuts Kuroo off, then that will reassure Akaashi that men are trash like he always believes and then he might cut me off too !!” Bokuto was entering emo mode, and fast. 

Mattsun hurriedly tried to make the Owl feel better before he curled up into a ball. When Kotaro went into emo-mode, not Kuroo nor Mattsun could ** _ever_** pull him out of it, together they could only shorten it with snacks and shit and it had to be the two of them-- but that was impossible right now since Mattsun leant Kuroo his car to take Kenma out tonight. Not to mention the fact that Kuroo couldn’t be called over since he should be on his date. That being said, Matsukawa and Kuroo learned that their best strategy when this happened is to stop Bo from entering emo-mode in its tracks, that way he never fully immerses himself in it. 

**However, that is no easy feat!**

“Bo Bo Bo, hey man, chill. I didn't mean to freak you out. I know you like Keiji--” 

“H-he can cut me off... He-he can stop talking to all men before I get to tell him how I feel-- that’s not fair at all--!”

Matty rubbed his friend’s back. “Hey, shhhhhh. Bro,” He nudged him. “It’s Kuroo we’re talking about here, remember? Has he ** _ever_** bombed a date before?” 

Thankfully, that seemed to be the magic question, because after the Owl thought about it, Bokuto finally looked at Matty with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. He looked like a toddler looking at a mall Santa for the first time. 

“.....N-no...” When he got like this, he **_sounded_** like a toddler too. 

“Well there you go! He hasn’t, and do you think that of all times... he’s gonna start **_now?!_** Now with his ‘✨scale-breaker✨ _that he can't shut the fuck up about?!_ We know he’s gonna do anything in his power to get Kenma to enjoy himself tonight,” 

Bokuto contemplated that, then smiled slightly. “You’re right....” He whispered. 

Relieved that Kotaro was being pulled out of emo-mode, Mattsun drove it home. “Plus.... you know... no promises or anything, _obviously_ , but the opposite could be true when it comes to Keiji too, right? I mean... if Kuroo actually manages to make Kenma turn off his video game for the majority of the date, that could make Akaashi realize that maybe not all men are as shitty as he once believed....” 

And just like that, Bokuto’s light re-illuminated. He jumped up. “Holy shit, you’re right!” 

Mattsun chuckled, leaning back into the couch. “Of course I am,” 

Bo ran over to where he threw his overnight bag by the door and dragged it over to the couch. “Can I show you what I want to wear tonight like Kenma-san did at the mall? I really want Akaashi to think I look handsome since we’ll be in public.” 

Issei nodded. “Sure, Kobo, but we have a few hours until we meet them. That’s loads of time. Come, let’s watch a movie and then we’ll do that.” 

Kotaro--still a bundle of energy--agreed, hopping back on the couch and laying down so his feet rested on Matty’s lap. Issei didn’t care one bit. 

Halfway through the movie, Kobo kicked Issei harshly in the thigh because the tosser-and-turner had fallen asleep, luckily Issei still didn't care. He didn't care when he grabbed the spare blankets and had to avoid a punch when he threw a covering over his friend, either, and he didn't care when he could barely hear the movie on the smaller couch because Bo’s snores were so fucking loud. 

**He did care,** however--about how the date that he wasn't even going on would play out tonight, because he really didn't want anything getting in the way of his friendship with Makki. And let’s be real here-- Issei had backtracked to help Bokuto out of emo-mode but he meant every initial word he said: _Kuroo being a dick and ruining this date could really put a damper on the time Mattsun gets to spend with the Pinkie._ Seriously, that would really suck if this date didn't go as planned because Kuroo acted too haughty or too much like a horndog or something and it evidently turned Kenma off. It’s funny because: a few weeks ago, Mattsun would be the LAST person on earth to care about potentially losing a friendship unless it was Kuroo or Bo’s.... But as the handsome Sloth drifted off into a pre-bar-drinking-night-nap, _he realized that he **did** care....he might **always** care... when it came to anything that had to do with Hiro._

##  **He cared a shit ton.**

_Kuroo, you better not fuck this up...._ thought the middle blocker, _his eyes fluttering closed as the glow from the tv shone un-disturbingly on his face. He realized that_ **right now** _is likely the time he’d be picking up Kenma-san.....only 4 doors down from here._

_Issei wished he could tell him, but it was too late and it’d probably do more harm than good anyway--but still, he wished he could tell his friend that;_

##  _“There’s more riding on this than any other date you’ve ever been on....”_

_It’s too bad Kuroo couldn't hear any of that, and Mattsun soon fell asleep... **because that could have made all the difference.**_ __

* * *

4 doors down, in the Pretty Boys’ Residence, Apartment 602:

On this large couch, Kuroo Tetsurō twiddled his fingers awkwardly. _“So.....”_

Sitting too close for comfort to the left of him, Hanamaki smiled brightly. “So....!” 

“So.” Akaashi finished, floating over to the two gentlemen and passing Kuroo a cup of tea he just made him. Akaashi was sure to put the tea on a little tea plate and Kuroo was glad since **he** was sure Keiji would have wanted him to burn his hands on the cup, seeing as he had a dick and all. Akaashi handed the tea over before taking his seat on the couch across from Kuroo in the pretty boys’ fashionable apartment. The model immediately crossed his legs, resituating his eye glasses by pinching the edge. 

Late, Tetsuro bowed slightly in thanks before _almost_ taking a sip of the tea. He then remembered its heat and set it down on the glass coffee table by this knees. 

“Heh.” He let out an awkward laugh as he looked to his left where a Pink haired hottie was smiling at him as if Kuroo was his College admittance letter, whereas, in front of him: a black haired hottie was _**glaring**_ at him as if Kuroo was his College _rejection_ letter. 

“Uhm,” Kuroo cleared his throat. Being someone who is very big on eye contact, he tried to figure out which intense stare of his date’s roommates’ was less awkward to look back at. The answer was neither, or both. They both made him equally uncomfortable, so he settled on staring at the couch in between the two of them. “Arigatou Gozaimasu.” 

Still glaring, Akaashi nodded curtly in response. 

_Fucking brrrr._ Kuroo thought to himself. _And Bo says_ **this** _guy is the sweetest guy he’s ever met in his life? Yeah, if that’s true, then I'm a virgin_ 😑 _._

After a few seemingly long moments of Kuroo-study, Hanamaki’s bright voice cut the tense air _(or at least it was tense to Kuroo.)_

“So, Kuroo-san!” Makki was fully facing Kuroo on the couch now, his legs folded underneath him. When he spoke he shifted so that his elbow was propped up on the sofa and his head could nonchalantly rest on his palm. Kuroo couldn’t believe how relaxed Makki could be in a moment so awkward..... it eerily reminded him of Matsukawa and how he’s been that way their whole lives. 

Hanamaki continued, “Are you excited to be taking out our dearest cat tonight?” 

“I-uh.....”

Tetsurō‘s heart sped up a bit because, it didn’t feel like within a 15-minute span: he was at home, wrapped up in the act of choosing a perfect cologne for tonight, then driving over here and missing a stop a sign once, knocking on the door expecting to see his date, being ushered in by his date’s two crazy-hot but crazy- **crazy** roommates instead, (because Kenma had overslept and was getting ready now), being offered tea as he waited, and then basically being dissected by two pairs of eyes: one angel like and the other exuding devilish sentiment...... yeah, In the midst of all that occurred in the past 15 minutes, Kuroo may have forgotten that he was about to go on a date with the most handsome man he’s ever laid his eyes on. _**Oh, God.**_ A shiver ran down his spine. Kuroo was going to spend the evening with the first guy he truly thinks is way out of is league, as opposed to the other way around. It excited him to no end. 

The Raven tried again, “So excited,” He nodded, much more excitedly than he would have hoped since Hana’s eyes lit up in suppressed astonishment. 

“I can see that!” Hana seemed so happy and jokey, it made Kuroo comfortable enough to joke back with them while he waits, too. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll uh—bring your cat back by—“ 

## “Have you ever been to _jail,_ Tetsurō-san?” 

And just like that, the man with the glasses' chilling voice stripped Kuroo of his comfort, worlds faster than it came. 

He shook his head. “What? No.... no! Of course not,” 

The 9/10 didn’t seem content with that answer and something told Kuroo, based on what he knows about Keiji-- he wouldn’t be content with any answer from any male ever. 

“Ever cheated on a test?” Keiji quipped, on the ball as if they were playing verbal tennis. ( ~~And if they were, Keiji was Serena Williams~~ ) 

Kuroo shook his head again. “No! Never! I don’t need to.”

“So you’re the smartest man in the world?” 

Kuroo was very off-put; but confident, as usual. He adjusted his collar arrogantly. “Well I mean, you said it not me 😌.” Tetsu and Hana then laughed at his own joke, but Kuroo stopped immediately when he noticed Akaashi’s deadpan. His icy glare. 

He gulped, correcting his joke abruptly. “I mean, uh, I wouldn’t say **_that._**... but uhm, I do take school very seriously.” Kuroo quickly picked up the tea in front of him and took a gulp. It was still too hot but he needed something to wet his dry throat. 

By the look on his muse’s roommates face, for a second the Raven wondered if that Akaashi guy poisoned it, taking another gulp anyway. 

_Well, Kuroo **did** always say that if he was going to die, he wanted to die surrounded by hot men, so..._

“I see. And do you _work?”_

Kuroo switched gears, deciding to treat this like an interview. Maybe that would help. “Yes and no. Currently, I do not as I'm a full-time student athlete. But, in the summer I coach kids’ volleyball and I’m a part-time lifeguard. I save enough money over the summer to not have to work throughout my semester, so—“ 

“--I see.” Across from him, the man with glasses has not let up on his glare for a millisecond. “And you’re a Science Major?” 

“Yup! Science **and** Business, so a double major.” 

“ **I only asked if you were in Science** , but okay. And where do you see yourself upon graduation?” 

_On a grad trip in Morocco with your roommate’s legs spread open on my bed_ ( _ideally, and in a perfect world_ ) Kuroo thought pervertedly. 

He may have a perverted mind—especially when it came to thoughts of his scale breaker—but that would never change the fact that he is the most amazing finesser. He’s met some of his conquest’s parents before ( **NEVER** by choice and only because they trapped him and wanted to date him), and Kuroo was always able win over every single parent by using his charisma and effectively hiding the fact that he only wants to be balls deep in their son. Tetsuro just had to say his major’s to impress the parents and that was it, but since Akaashi is much, **much** more intimidating--despite the fact that he isn’t even a parent--Kuroo instead, said, 

“Oh um, I’m not exactly sure. I see myself in the public health field doing the business ventures for wealthy pharmaceutical companies. I want to go where the money is so that I can take good care of my husband and kids one day, you know—“ 

**“--Have you ever cheated on an ex boyfriend, before?”**

“😱Kaashi!” Hana yelled, both his and Kuroo’s mouth dropping. 

Keiji calmly took another sip of his tea. His blue eyes flicked to Hana’s briefly.

“ _What?_ It’s an important question.” 

“It’s a **_PERSONAL_** question.” Makki did not sound happy, which was rare. “We are not trying to **scare** Kenma’s first date in forever _away_ —“ 

Tetsurō interrupted Hana. “--Sorry for interrupting here and thank you for defending my privacy, Makki, but it’s quite alright to ask. I actually think it’s sweet that you two care about your roommate so much. Maybe if I’d been more like you two with some of the guys Bokuto and Matty have dated in the past then perhaps—“ 

“Have you cheated on an ex or not?” 

Hana gasped again. “Akaashi!!! _You’re being freaking rude!”_

Kuroo stared into the eyes of the model so that he could see the sincerity behind his eyes. “No. I have not. Not ever.” 

Akaashi’s monotone expression changed for once, his eyes widening in....is that...approval!? And then Keiji sipped his tea, his shoulders visibly relaxing and signalling the end of his questioning period. “I’m going to check on Kozume, he should be ready by now.” 

As the 9/10 left, Kuroo smiled internally. Beside him, Hanamaki clapped a few times. “You do realize that you just got **_lots_** of points from our vampire over there, right!? Stopping his questioning early is basically ‘Akaashi Code’ for: I approve,” whispered the Pinkie. 

Kuroo tried to hide his beam, but he was sure it was showing. 

_For now, it’s not like Akaashi needed to know that the only reason he hasn’t cheated on a significant other is because he’s never been in a relationship before (never mind if the other person thought so or not)._ **_So I guess it's a good thing Akaashi just assumed!_ **

“Where are you taking our were-cat tonight, huh?” Hanamaki’s cheerful voice pulled Kuroo out of his inner-world. 

“Oh, uhm,” Tetsurō took another big sip. “I’m, really not trying to be rude here, but..... if you don’t mind I’d like to keep it _a surprise?_ A secret? I mean... I haven’t even told Bo or Mattsun yet because I really want to impress Kenma... so the goal here is to make sure the _shock factor_ remains in tact.” 

“Oh wow,” Hana nodded, punching Kuroo on the shoulder. “ _Shock factor, huh?_ You hear that Kaashi? This one really wants to impress our handsome house cat!”

“I did hear.” Answered Akaashi from another room, his low voice sounding a bit lighter than before. “That sounds....romantic?” Kuroo could tell that the model hadn’t used that word in a while. 

**“Very romantic!”** Hana smiled. “Now, Dude. I’m not gonna ask you a ton of questions like that one over there but I do have one question. And I think it’s important so _don’t_ bullshit me. I can’t stand liars.” 

“Shoot. I’m all ears,” Kuroo finished his tea, setting it back down and folding up the sleeves of his dress shirt. He was wearing a very nice pitch black button down, its first 2 buttons open to reveal a hint of his broad chest, paired with relatively fitting grey slacks, his nicest belt, and leather loafers. He posted a full body mirror picture of himself on his snapchat story (which Kuroo noticed Kenma did **not** view)-- and he received more thirst replies than he could count, so he figured he looked pretty good, not that he didn't know it already.

Hanamaki didn't care about how good looking a potential suitor for his anti-social friend was, though. The care in this household went so much deeper than skin-deep and they would do anything to protect each other from getting hurt which is why Akaashi fired those questions at first. That’s also why Hiro now asked very seriously under his breath:

“What are.... I mean, why did you..... ugh, I’m trying to say that........ Kenma’s rejected a lot of guys, so.......I mean, what do you like about...Like, we know Kenma is pretty, but.........Are you **_truly_** into...?” 

As Makki tried to get out the question, there was a sound coming from behind him that had Kuroo’s eyes automatically leaving Makki’s face to drift up towards the only person who never failed to take his breath away. 

##  _Oh, God.._

Working on autopilot, Tetsuro politely rose to his feet as you should when someone important enters a room, and _God, was this someone important._ His mouth ajar, Kuroo absentmindedly smoothed out the wrinkles of his outfit. He felt as if he’d just poured that tea on his hands because they suddenly felt hot and clammy: a direct response to someone gorgeous changing the atmosphere in a room they’ve walked into. 

Kuroo didn't show it, but he was freaking out.

_Okay maybe he showed it a little bit._

_“K-Kenma....”_ Kuroo blanked. For days, he had planned which line he was going to use when he saw the cutie, (one of the lines he’s used dozens of times before, back when he was forced on these dates with guys who weren’t comfortable just straight up fucking)..... but he somehow FORGOT IT. Kuroo should have accounted for the fact that the man in front of him made him forget his own name, let alone his pick up lines, every single time he laid eyes on him. 

How embarrassing.

“......Um, Wow.....” is all the Raven could say. He focused on trying to remember how to breathe. Kuroo went to drag a hand over his face... but he stupidly stopped mid-wipe to peek through his fingers at his gorgeous date.

Kuroo could barely hear Hanamaki laugh at him for doing that. Akaashi even cracked a quick smile.

It was hard for him to really focus on anything else when Kozume Kenma, _Blanket Monster extraordinaire;_ ** _blonde bombshell extraordinaire;_** .........looked better than Tetsuro could have ever imagined. 

It should be said that the middle blocker had no idea what he was expecting Kenma to wear on their date ever since Bo told him they went shopping _specifically for this_ —mainly because his dick kept wishing Kenma would just show up naked—but whatever it was that he thought Kozume would wear ( _besides the unrealistic birthday suit_ ), **it is safe to say it was not this.**

##  _Kuroo thought Kenma looked **beautiful!**_

The blonde stayed true to his ‘ _comfort-first_ ’ nature, looking a little fancy but unmistakably **chill,** wearing an oversized crew neck..... but the gag was that the crew neck was so oversized that it fit like a sweater dress, a SHORT sweater dress-- ending a little under Kozume’s cute ass. 

Underneath, Kenma wore a pair of flat thigh high boots that made him look taller than he was: which was incredibly sexy to Kuroo. **To make matters worse,** ( _or better...?)_ there was, according to genius-Kuroo, about 3.5cm of bare thigh filling the space between the end of the large sweater and the tallest part of the boots. Kuroo’s eyes zeroed in on the slit of what looks to be the silky smooth bare skin of the sexiest man alive, his mouth watering.

__

_Not a birthday suit. But pretty darn sexy nonetheless._

_Damn......_ 🤤 Kuroo forgot all about the extravagant date he had planned for 2 weeks all because that damn slit of skin was visible. _He was a weak, weak man._

_**Curse. His. Raging. Hormones.** _

At least now Tetsu knows he doesn’t need tea to wet his dry mouth in the future, he only needs to picture Kenma in this outfit and his mouth will water it for him. 

_God! so pathetic....was he a cartoon!?_

“Kuro,” An angelic voice startled Kuroo out of his own thoughts. Only one person called him by that nickname, and that one person made that nickname his fucking kryptonite. 

The Raven’s eyes flicked up from thigh to eyes. His heart beat increased as he stared down at his blonde: Kenma standing just outside his bedroom door, his hair in it’s usual low messy bun, his face so fucking stunning it physically hurt. 

Kuroo could not believe he was going to get to spend the evening with this beautiful being. 

“Hm?” He asked, trying to resist his eyes from glazing over. 

“Are you ready to go?” Kenma wasn’t looking at his face, and then he was, making the taller male’s heart practically jump out of his skin. 

“ _I uh......_..............” Kuroo got lost in those giant, golden, cat-like eyes. _Those perfect, vertical, arousing eyes....._

“Kuroo has been waiting for you for the past 20 minutes, Ken! Of course he’s ready!” Hanamaki smiled, jumping up from the couch and clapping Kuroo’s back **_very_** hard. 

The pain of the blow allowed Kuroo to think clearly a bit. He knew Hana did that on purpose to help him. It made Kuroo recall how Hana _just so happened_ to stop Bokuto from telling Akaashi what he’s named their children the first time they "officially" met. _Something told Kuroo that Hana was used to doing stuff like this for his friends’ suitors.... Whatever the case, he was grateful._

The Raven shook his head as if to clear it from thoughts of teasing skin slits and pretty eyes. He collected his wits and decided to speak for himself; like a man. 

“I’ve uh....never been more ready.” He responded to Kenma—who blushed, making Kuroo feel like ten thousand bucks. 

Makki spoke again, reminding Kuroo that Tetsuro and Kenma weren’t the only two in the room, once again. Meanwhile, Akaashi quietly laid down the law to a very annoyed looking Kozume. 

Makki lowered his voice, “Tetsu, dude, Take care of him, okay? He’s very.. _.very_ special to us. And don’t worry about you not answering my last question there about your feelings....the look on your face was more answer than any.” 

Now it was Kuroo’s turn to blush. It had thoroughly slipped his mind that Hana had been asking about his early feelings for Kenma when his scale-breaker had walked in. He wanted to ask Hana what he meant by that, but when he thought about it: the Raven cringed because he must look so fucking starry-eyed... so much so that he’d actually prefer to forget! 

Across the room at the same time, a brunette spoke softy to his friend, 

“Remember Kozume. If you want to leave early: you do not need to stay an additional second because you’re reluctant to hurt a man’s feelings. They don’t deserve the courtesy. Just text me, and I’ll come get you straight away. You can wait by the front and tell him to leave you alone or get me on the phone and I will tell him for you--”

“Akaashi, stop!” Kenma swatted his roommates hands away that seemed to be trying to stuff a can of pepper spray in his boot. “I will be fine and I am not a baby. You guys are so embarrassing.” 

“But—“ Keiji started toward him again with the spray, but Kenma swerved him. The blonde quickly marched over to the Raven. 

Clearly annoyed, he grabbed Kuroo’s hand with his much smaller one and pulled him out the door. Kuroo followed, using his long wing span to grab his car keys from the island as they speedily passed it. 

“Bye🙄! I will text you guys when I am home. Have a good night with Matsukawa-san & Bokuto-san.” Kenma yelled over his shoulder, slamming the door harder than necessary behind him and locking it. 

Kuroo could only try to calm his heartbeat since Kenma was still holding his hand. 

_The date hadn't even started and he was already horny and overly excited for the guy?????? .... usually it was **Kuroo** who was the minx that made guys feel this flustered. He had to get it together, _and quick. **He is Kuroo fucking Tetsuro!**

“You weren't very nice, Kitten 😉,” Kuroo winked down at his muse, settling into his confident demeanour once again. “Your friends are only worried that I’ll want you all to myself after tonight,” 

Kozume stared up at the black-haired male, focusing on using his eyes to convey what he wants. “Hm... maybe you're right,” He thinks he’s got the eye thing right because once again, Kuroo’s breath hitches. 

“R-Right about your friends being w-worried?” 

“No.” Kenma shook his head. Daringly, he took a step toward Tetsuro... and then another, and then another, until the Raven’s back was pressed against the empty hallway wall and Kenma was hovering just over his chest. Kozume got on the tips of his toes so that he would be tall enough to whisper in Kuroo’s ear... he still wasn't, but luckily Kuroo imperceptibly leaned down to meet him halfway. “Right about me not being very **_nice._** ” Kenma paused for dramatic effect. “Maybe... I’m **naughty,”** he added, thinking on the spot.

Kozume was sure that his voice was dripping with sex before those playful words left his mouth, and he was even surprised himself by how not-lame he sounded. He pulled away from the Raven’s really amazing cologne scented neck just as Kuroo bit his bottom lip. Kuroo closed his eyes, attempting to fight off a semi. 

##  ~~_He lost that battle._ ~~

* * *

* * *

**In the car:**

It’s a good thing the drive to Kuroo’s secret date location was pretty far because he needed every second to get himself to think about **life** again and not _sex_ , after Kenma’s ‘naughty’ fiasco. They were pulling into the parking lot of the secret destination when Kuroo could think anything other than:

 _So blonde_..... **Wanna touch him**........ _so pretty......_ **Wanna kiss him**........... _so hot_............ **Wanna be inside him.**

“You look amazing, by the way.” Kuroo praised, driving with one hand coolly. They’d had a comfortably silent 45-minute drive for the most part, Kuroo understanding that his scale-breaker didn’t really like talking. He was exceptionally good at reading people and he wanted Kenma to charge like a battery, so not talking during the drive had a cause. Tetsurō felt amazing that Kenma didn’t take out his game at any point....it’s not like Kuroo would have stopped him, but that made him feel like Kenma actually wanted to be here.

On the other hand, Kozume was pleasantly surprised that the man that talked his ear off to get this date was also able to shut his trap and enjoy a nice silent car ride.

The entire duration of the drive, the Raven continued to glance down at the peep of skin his date was showing of his thigh. Luckily, Kenma had been staring out his window the entire time, so he couldn’t see the way the middle blocker continuously licked his lips every time he took sight of those very strong thighs. God, Kuroo has never been in the presence of a prettier person. He wanted Kenma to choke him with those babies.

“Kuro, you told me that already.” answered the blonde, his hands moving as if he was itching to be playing a game right now on a handheld. 

“Sorry. You didn’t respond so I didn’t know if it registered or not,” 

“It did.” Kenma removed his seat belt. “Where are we?” The beautiful cat looked outside all the windows. It was night time, so all he could make out was a gigantic building that looked new and innovative, like the Stark Tower or something.

Kuroo smirked, knowing that Kenma was confused. Fuck, he is finally here. **The date he’s been waiting for was about to begin!**

With no help from Akaashi nor Kenma, Kuroo had to use his highly analytical brain to devise the perfect date night that would impress someone as different as Kenma. It took a long time, but he had booked this for them a while ago now, having to even pay for last week because Kenma cancelled. Kuroo didn’t care though, if he was going to spend a tiny bit of his savings on anyone: he was glad it was on Kenma. The Raven still wasn’t 100% confident about what he chose since he’s never done anything like this before, but listen if Kuroo Tetsuro had one thing, it was faith in himself.

It was still nerve wreaking, though. Because Depending on how well this goes once they step out of Mattsun’s car..... Kuroo will **either be:**

**One step closer to screwing the most beautiful guy ever,**

**ORRRR**

**Completely kicking himself for the rest of his life for losing his chance at screwing the most beautiful guy ever.**

There was a lot at stake on this date.

“Kenma.”

“Hm?”

Kuroo opened the glove compartment to take out a silk blindfold. Kenma examined it with a scrunched up face.

“God, Makki warned me that College boys are kinky, but—“

Kuroo’s jaw dropped. “ **No!!** It’s not for that, not for anything like that!” Kuroo was turning red. “I bought this yesterday just for this date. I’d like to use it as a **_regular_** blind fold to keep you from seeing our date activity until it’s.....until we’re there!”

The pretty blonde visibly relaxed. “Oh.........alright then.” Kenma’s eyes shut, and for a second Kuroo just sat there with a stupid blindfold in his hands, admiring the longest eyelashes he’s ever seen on a man. Then, he stared at the nicest lips he’s ever seen on a man, not missing the fact that Kenma was in a position to be kissed right now: eyes closed and natural pouty lips together. The Raven was absolutely star struck, just staring. Uh... perhaps he hadn’t expected Kenma to give in so quickly to the blindfold idea. _**Just how good was he at taking instructions....? If his scale-breaker ends up being this good at listening to instructions in bed then Kuroo was a goner for sure.**_ Kuroo’s mouth watered again.

“You...gonna put it on?” Kozume asked, not opening his eyes but lifting his left eyebrow in smug questioning.

Tetsurō nodded then felt dumb about it; remembering Kenma couldn’t see. “Right. Yes. Sorry.” He got to it.

The older male’s heart went _thump thump thump_ when his knuckles brushed the soft dyed locks that he’s been thinking about since he first saw the blonde. Kuroo could see the dark roots so clearly from close-up, and he realized that even though he was (without fail) into blondes, he actually considered Kenma’s natural dark hair to be the prettiest hair colour he’s ever seen.

Once the blindfold was on, Kuroo got out and helped Kenma out of the vehicle as well. He locked it and carefully walked them over to the building, making sure his Kitten didn’t trip on any rocks or speed bumps. Kenma made a joke about Kuroo having better be leading him to a **date** and not somewhere sketchy because he shared his location with Akaashi: who is practically a ninja. That made Kuroo laugh his hyena-like laugh, responding that he didn’t doubt for a second: the a double life of the terrifying Akaashi Keiji.

Kuroo’s heart warmed when Kenma’s eyebrows shot up to the sound of hearing Tetsu’s unconventional laugh for the first time, and then Kenma chuckled along with it.

##  **It was the first time Kuroo has ever seen his scale-breaker smile—and he did it to Kuroo’s laugh, no less. 🥺**

Anyway, Tetsurō tried to ignore the way that made his heart squeeze. He showed his tickets to the front desk and asked the _3.8/10_ worker to be quiet when explaining everything since it’s a surprise for his date.

“I know what to do. I read the entire manual you have online,” Kuroo stated authoritatively but politely.

The worker nodded, seeming happy to not have to explain something again and again. He lead them to their private space which was the size of a large classroom, before handing over the material and making his exit. Kuroo thought the hospitality was well worth the money so far!

“Did you just tell that guy that you read the entire manual?” Kenma tried not to snort. “So you’re a nerd?”

The Raven glared down at his sexy date despite the fact that he was still blindfolded.

“I do well in school, sue me. But as far as high school cliques go........” Kuroo returned the favour of an off-guard whisper in the ear that gave him a semi boner earlier when Kenma did it.

_“I’m the nerd. But trust me, I fuck like the bad boy.”_

Kuroo watched contentedly when Kenma’s plump lips dropped open, his cheeks just under the blindfold reddening. His gaze dropped and sure enough, the thighs that were showing turned red too. _Oh, so his scale breaker is a full-body-blusher?!_ ~~Kuroo was adding that to the spank bank **for sure**~~ **.** Tetsu was occupying himself with naughty thoughts when the full-body-blusher himself surprised the middle blocker by blindly tugging Kuroo closer so they were face-to-face before answering;

“So we _**both** have a naughty side...”_ 😏

Kuroo gulped, all the blood in his body dropping to his groin. _What happened to the shy blanket monster that could barely meet his eye before?!_ If Kenma didn’t stop surprisingly going from sexy-to-adorable like this, **then Kuroo was going to die.**

The taller male took Kenma’s wrists so they'd released his face. He ghosted two gentle kisses on both hands then stepped back so he could put on the gear for this date atop of his clothes. Next, he helped Kenma into his, seizing an eyeful or two ( _ ~~or 9, or 10~~_ ) of exposed thighs that were on display as Kenma stepped into the jumpsuit. Kuroo told Kenma to keep his eyes closed when he removed his blindfold and put a helmet over the blonde’s head. Last came gloves and boots (in which Kuroo almost kissed up Kenma’s ankles.... but he refrained.

“Can I look now???” Asked Kenma in a bored tone, but somehow Kuroo could tell the blonde was excited.

It was true, Kenma was VERY excited. Kuroo had been texting him almost everyday about how much he will like this date and even though Kozume left all the Raven’s messages unanswered, he still read them all and became quite curious about where this playboy who isn’t used to dates--only sex--would take him.

“Not yet. Wait, _let me just_........ah, perfect......Okay. We’re all set.” Kuroo had placed his helmet on as well. “On the count of three, Okay? **On three you can open your eyes,** you hear me, Kitten? Nod if you understand.”

Kozume nodded.

“One..........” Kuroo switched a dial.

“Two..........” New sounds could be heard from all over. Kenma’s inner child wanted to squeal. 

##  **“Three.”** Kuroo finished.

Kenma opened his golden eyes and gasped.

“What.....The.....Fuck!”


	8. EPISODE 5

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 5**

* * *

The Audience takes the POV of Kenma's eyes, the last thing Kozume/The audience sees  (through Kenma's eyes) is a cute Kuroo inside of Matsukawa’s 2021 Jeep on a dark Tokyo night. Tetsuro reaches above the head and carefully slides down a blindfold until a quarter - then half - then the entire viewpoint is black. 

20 minutes later, Kenma/The Audience slowly blinks opens the golden eyes to see….

##  **This:**

##  **“Oh My God What.....The.....?!”**

He yelled, loudly--immediately grabbing for Kuroo to the right of him. The smaller male clutched the taller male’s body. When Kenma jumped like that the hot air balloon they were in wavered a bit under his weight shift.

"Whaaat, how..???" 

Kuroo chuckled, immediately wrapping his arms around the shorter males figure in return. “ _I was hoping you’d grab onto me like this_ ,” The Raven smirked cockily. 

Heart racing, Kozume tried to make sense of this all. There is absolutely no way in _HELL_ that blindfold on his _**EYES** _made him blind to his other senses as well: like the **gravitational sense** that would have told him that he’s thousands of feet in the air...... or the **hearing sense** that would have told him that a raging fire is overhead blowing into the giant balloon he's in, or even the **touch sense** that would have literally felt the breeze that was now blowing on his skin, as if he was on a slow rollercoaster. 

Not to mention it was pitch black when they left the apartm and now it looked like early evening! 

Clutching onto Kuroo for dear life in the center of the hot air balloon, Kenma "the Gamer" Kozume knew there could only be one explanation for this. 

“Virtual Reality....” he whispered in awe. 

Kuroo barked out a laugh. “Yeah, Kitten. You got it. Pretty cool, huh?” 

Kenma glanced around slowly, absolutely **wonderstruck** at his surroundings.

Everywhere he looked he could see another angle from the hot air balloon.... When he reached out to touch the basket he was in it really felt like a true basket, he could even feel the ordinary wear and tear you'd expect from one of these underneath his hands. 

He crept toward the edge and daringly looked down, seeing a 3,000 feet drop down to a rocky terrain and cactus. **Last he checked he was in TOKYO!**

**It was incredible....**

“Incredible....” Kenma whispered, taking in his surroundings slowly and in utter fascination. Kuroo watched his date take in everything with a huge grin on his face.

A realistic hawk flew by, so close to them that the blonde flinched back, burying himself in Kuroo’s side again. Tetsurō chuckled wonderfully and wrapped his arm a little tighter around his date. Kenma nuzzled his face into Kuroo’s side and Kuroo felt his heart lurch.

 _God, was his scale breaker cute or what?!_ Ku was more than happy to comfort him, starting to rub his back softly.

“As much as I’d like it to be, none of this real Kitten. I know you’re a gamer so I thought you’d like this.” 

Kenma almost purred when Kuroo’s hand met his hair, running his fingers through the fallen strands outside of the man bun in order to soothe his kitten. Kenma sighed contentedly. 

After a deep breaths and coming to terms with this being fake, Kenma felt Okay again.

“This is absolutely incredible, Kuro.... But how....!?”

“We are in a VR facility, used for artificial intelligence innovation. The suit I helped you put on and the one I have on are fully immersive VR garments, designed with sensors on all important limbs...even present on the soles of our feet so that our entire body feels the virtual space. Right now, if you take off the helmet, like.....” Kuroo carefully reached down to lift up the VR goggles from Kenma’s face. 

Kenma squinted to get used to the change in scenery. They were in a pitch black room. He couldn’t believe it. 

“See? We are actually just in an basically empty room in the facility. You can't see it but the room has vents in the walls over there and over there that help us feel the breeze or the sun or whatever else we need to experience when we are in a certain virtual reality. The floor moves as well like a belt at the airport, if we wanted to walk somewhere, and there are speakers attached to our helmets of course, so we can hear anything we’d need to hear in virtual reality.”

Wow. He took in the jumpsuits they were wearing while still gripping onto the larger male (who was-- _ohoho_ \--more than happy with it). Kenma looked around the dark room. He couldn’t believe he was really here...or there? **Experiencing VR like this!** Kozume was shocked by how far tech has come. He’d tried small demos of it at Gamer Expos, but nothing came even **close** to how real everything felt when that helmet was on.

This is the dream that every gamer has but _none of them think will come true ._

Kenma had to hand it to him: Kuroo had really outdone himself this time. 

“Wow, Kuro......” 

“Yes, Kitten?” The Raven was smiling brilliantly, because he could tell his date was impressed.

"It's going to be really hard for you to top this one, now, isn't it?" 

Kuroo laughed. "Oya? Wanna bet? Does that mean you'll give me a chance to take you out again...?" 

Kenma teasingly ignored that question. “How much did this cost? And why is there a table over there, recliner chairs over there, bikes over there....? And that vent look weird...” Kenma pointed to a few things that he called out. 

Purposely ignoring the first question, too, Kuroo smiled wider. “Oh, **that’s the best part!** may I?” Tetsurō gestured to to sliding Kenma’s helmet back on and the shorter male nodded. 

They returned to the gorgeous hot air balloon as if they’d never left. Kenma’s couldn't stop his jaw from dropped. The difference was S u r r e a l .

“You can adjust the setting with the remote on our headsets. Look.” 

As if appearing out of thin air, a menu presented itself in holographic form in front of Kuroo. Like one would on their iPhone, Kuroo zoomed in, enlarging the menu and pushing it down so it was visible my the both of them. He selected the menu option that read ‘Wind’ and then dragged the intensity bar to the right. 

As soon as he did that, A particularly hard breeze hit them and their balloon moved faster, for a balloon, passing the blue sky at an unsafe speed. Kenma held onto Kuroo for dear life, already shutting his eyes in fear, but the Raven must had already turned the setting back down. The breeze calmed and they resumed a slow pace.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist!"

Kozume rolled his eyes. He deadpanned, but didn't let go out of fear. “I feel so silly holding onto you like this, you **_just_ ** showed me that we’re really just in a room....” He blushed. 

Kuroo shook his head. “Ha, no, no, please don’t feel silly. Virtual reality takes a LOT of getting used to. **Full disclosure: i** f I didn't do so much research on the science behind it, I'd be just as spooked as you are. But as amazing and evolutionary as this is, I am enjoying your embrace _much_ more than the virtual reality right now.” 

Kozume lifted his head from Kuroo’s chest to look up at him, their eyes meeting and Kuroo’s eyes drifted over all of Kenma’s visage. Kuroo didn’t realize he was holding his breath until Kenma pushed his pretty face back into his chest again. 

He let it out slowly as to not cause suspicion. 

“Are you afraid of heights, Kitten?” 

Kenma nodded. “Not when I’m in a plane, no. But in a hot air balloon I just feel so........”

“Naked?” 

The blonde was going to use the word _exposed_ , but naked works too. He nodded. 

“Okay, then we're leaving. I want you to be comfortable and happy. Whatever you want.” He made the menu appear again and he flipped through the channels so quickly that Kenma couldn't read what he was pressing. Suddenly, the fictitious hot air balloon sway stopped. 

Kuroo spoke, “Are you into the majestic kind of scene?” 

The next thing he knew, Kenma was in a stunning meadow with fuchsia flowers. This is crazy... He gasped at the breathtaking beauty, leaning down to pluck a flower off the ground. It felt so _REAL_ in his hands, one petal even fell off and took off with the wind like they were in a movie. 

Kuroo stared at Kenma, finding him so much prettier than their location--or any location for that matter. He could tell immediately that Kenma liked **this** v-reality much more than the hot air balloon one, but the middle blocker couldn't get enough of that cute shocked expression on his scale-breaker'ss handsome face... so.... he wasn’t quite done showing off just yet. Once again, he fiddled through the menu options before asking,

“What about.....a scarier vibe?” He pressed it. 

Kenma smirked. “ _I like this...._ 😏”

_“Mmmm, yeah?_ What about Green meadows?” 

Kenma had never seen such vibrant greens in his life. 

_“Waterfalls...?” Ku asked._

__

“Whoa...” Kozume could hear the loud but relaxing _whooosh_ of the falling streams of water. 

_“How about a sarafi adventure date with a fellow cat?”_

__

The growl that the lion let out was deep and quite enticing. Kenma was super intrigued. "He's huge..." 

“I know, right? Kitten, could you maybe go for a change in temperature, though? We can feel warm but be around the snow if I adjust the settings....” 

The room immediately felt worlds colder, goosebumps popping up under Kozume’s jumpsuit and crew neck. He squinted his eyes under the sunlight hiding behind the tree trunks, nuzzling into his date for warmth.

"Or I could keep it cold and we warm each other up..?" Kuroo flirted, rubbing up and down the smaller's back like they were still in the virtual air balloon. Kenma's responding pur when straight to the taller's cock. Kozume was just too sexy to him-- he needed to get out of here.

“O-Or somewhere warmer? Are you fond of the beach...?” 

Kozume was astonished by the change in weather, he could really feel the rays of sunshine on his skin, evicting his previous goosebumps and shivers. Looking down in surprise, he could see **_and_ ** feel the waves from the virtual ocean running over his virtually bare feet. Astonishing, it was. Even crazier that for the first time it really sounded like they weren’t alone in this virtual reality, the happy sounds of a moderately busy beach day with fellow humans present, but distant. 

Lips parted in surprise, the blonde stared up at his date. 

_I thought this guy was an asshole?_ He thought. _Has Kuroo done this for his other dates...? This was remarkable....._

Kuroo smiled down at him. “There’s even a space setting, Kitten. If you ever wanted to walk on Jupiter or something, but I read in the manual that it might give us a headache.”

"No, that's Okay. I just.... can't believe this, Kuro..."

Tetsurō held back from telling his scale breaker how pretty he looked right now, on the beach, sun shining down on him, brightening his hair and his eyes in the most gorgeous manner possible. "It's up to you, Kitten. Where you want to go."

Kenma looked away (and it was a good thing, too, because Kuroo couldn’t stare into those eyes for very long). The blonde stared down the virtual beach instead, watching the small virtual kids that look clear as day splash one another in the water. “Um, can we spend a bit of time in all of them? Please.” He asked in a quiet voice. 

Smiling, Kuroo nodded. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt so much joy and pride. He’d played out the beginning of this date 50 times a day in his mind for the past 2 weeks, and he was so worried Kenma would say ‘this was lame..’ in his monotone voice, and ask to be brought home! 

Kuroo was so, so happy!

“Of course, Kitten. **Anything** you desire.” 

“Thank you. I want to go back to forest first,” 

Kuroo nodded. “Not a problem.” 

Under the virtual sun, where seagulls could be heard, the blonde looked up at him again, capturing Kuroo’s attention. “Thank you so much for this, Kuro,” he was still holding onto his torso (and Kuroo was in bliss), and then Kenma did the cutest thing by resting his chin on the middle blockers chest. 

Inside, Kuroo was all: 🤯 & 😩😩😩 & 😭😭😭 & ☹️☹️☹️

Unable to respond without whimpering, Tetsurō found the setting and clicked back to the dusky forest, unbeknownst of the fact that that click was the start of his love story, and: **his demise story.**

* * *

** Back In Mattsun's Apartment: **

"Shit. Bo, **Bo, wake up** , we’re _**late** _ meeting the guys!!!” 

Mattsun, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, sunk deeper into the couch so that he could reach Kotaro with his foot without getting up. He kicked him. 

The grey haired only stirred, and Matty groaned.

From experience, Mattsun was more than aware that Bokuto slept like the dead—he and Kuroo often having to resort to crazy measures to get their friend out of bed before they got him into a routine—but then Issei had to move out, which meant that he wasn’t really present when Ku. made a new routine and he forgot to ask him for it.

“Kobo, **wake.up!”**

The Owl only stirred again, his eyes still closed. Matty kicked harder this time, triggering the Owl to mumble in his sleep. “ _Mmm Akaashi, another round already? We’re gonna wake the kids.....”_

##  **_Ew_** **.**

Mattsun rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose distress. “Owl headass.....” he grumbled.

He nudged Kōtarō again, even **harder** this time. 

_“...Akaashi! Hmmm ☺️☺️☺️ you look so pretty on top of me like this..”_

Matty gave up—disgusted. He looked inside the crevices of his blanket to find his phone ... Seeing it and realizing he has two missed calls from Hanamaki, he finally stood up. They were supposed to meet the guys at Uni Brunchette for 10pm and it was now....... 

Mattsun looked at the time in the centre top of his screen: 

10:42. Shit. 

Panicking-slowly in the way that only a sloth can, Mattsun quickly called Hana to let him know they fell asleep and were leaving now. Makki’s brilliant laugh in response made Mattsun feel better immediately. 

“No sweat, Neighbz! Take your time, just let us know when you get here. But no promises that Kaashi n' I haven’t started drinking without you guysl! We’re celebrating Kenma tonight, remember?!" Issei could hear the smirk in his voice, soon to be a slur. “But wait, Neighbz!! You didn’t tell us that this place got so busy at night 😮???!!!” 

_Shit. Hearing the hustle and bustle of Japan’s hottest University bars through the line,,_ Mattsun metaphorically slapped himself for not telling his hot neighbour about the popularity of Uni Brunchette. Unlike the fuckboy trio, the pretty boy trio had just moved here and had only been there for brunch once, so they didn’t know how it turned into a really cool bar/club at night for the most elite and good looking at the University. You can imagine it was almost a cause for celebration to even get in on a Friday or Saturday night. That line was deadly. The fuckboys always had their names on the guest list so they never had to wait in a line, having their own table and everything: but the same can't be said for Hana or Akaashi. 

Shit, had Matty not overslept, he would have BEEN THERE, or at the very least told Hana to give his name to the bouncer! Ugh.

Takahiro didn’t seem to mind, though. He sounded happy over the phone. “This place is dope; It’s so popular!” 

“Fuck, yeah, I’m a fucking idiot— **sorry.** Did you have to wait a long time?” Mattsun thought about that line that extended down the street sometimes. _At least it was still September weather and not winter..... but still. Hiro didn’t deserve that._

“Nah we—wait—1 sec.” Makki called something to who is likely the server, that sounded like a shot order--before his sexy deep voice returned to the phone. “We were waiting in line for like, 5 minutes when we got here.. but then these guys at the front asked if we wanted to go ahead of them!” 

Mattsun rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue. 🙄 Sigh, **_Of course they did._ **

And Matty couldn’t blame them for doing it either 🙄. Had he himself been in that line, he would **_totally_** be the guy to let Hiro and Akaashi go in front of him if he saw them standing there, for obvious reasons--but he'd do it if only to give himself an opportunity to stare at Makki’s amazing ass, as well. 

While glad that Hana did not have to wait in the crappily long line, Mattsun was a little sad that he missed out on an hour that he could have spent talking to Hiro, joking with Hiro, and laughing with Hiro. He truly cherished every moment he could spend with his new friend.

“A round on us when we get there, okay? We’ll get up now and be there soon.” 

Matsukawa grabbed some water. He deliberated throwing it on Bo's face, but used his foot to push Bokuto fully off the couch instead. Bo only groaned sleepily, talking to his dream husband some more. 🙄

Hiro laughed at Issei's offer to buy a round. Mattsun could picture perfectly how handsome he probably looked doing it. 

“Oh Neighbz, if you insist...” 

“I do insist.” Issei stretched. “So I'll see you soon—oh wait, Hiro?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Is Akaashi is with you?” 

“For sure! Why what's up?” 

“Mind putting him on the phone for a sec? I need to ask him a favour.” 

There was a few rustling sounds, and then a curious and cold voice replaced Makki’s warm one. “Yes, Matsukawa-san?” 

“Hey, uh, I have a sleepy Owl here.... one that won’t wake up to my ministrations no matter what.....so, I don't mind just leaving him here and letting him sleep all night, but I’m positive he’ll be disappointed if he misses the night out. But I uh....I think he’ll listen to you.” 

There was a small pause. “What do you wish for me to do?” 

Issei smiled. “I’m just going to put the phone to his ear, and you tell him to wake up because you’re supposed to meet at Uni Brunchette."

“Alright, sure.” 

Issei noted that Akaashi wasn’t asking the 10 questions he usually asks when a male wants his help with something, so he must be at least a little intoxicated; making him relaxed. Nevertheless, Mattsun did as he said; approaching his friend’s sleeping figure on the ground and crouching next to him. He turned up the volume and let his phone hover over Bokuto’s ear, making sure his thumb was hovered over the mute button just in case Kotaro said something stupid. 

“Okay he can hear you now! Go.” 

_“Bokuto-san,”_

Akaashi’s voice came out of the speaker phone loud and clear. Mattsun had to cover his mouth with his free hand to hold in his laughter at Bokuto’s--still sleeping--eyebrows shooting upwards. If he was really an Owl, Matty was sure his sleeping friends’ feathers would have ruffled to the sound of Akaashi’s voice. 

“ _Hmmmmm.... yes, Akaashi?_ 😌🥰” A lazy smile made its home on the Ace’s face, he was still dreaming. He looked at peace. 

“Bokuto-san, you sound like you are still sleeping...it’s Akaashi.” 

“ _Mhmmmmm...._ 😌🥰 _Akaaaaaashi.._......😌🥰” His voice cradled his name like it was a royal jewel.

“Yes. Can you wake up for me, please? I don’t want to be left alone with out-drinkers 1 and 2 tonight: Hanamaki and Matsukawa-san,” 

“😌🥰 _Hmmmmm sure, Akaashi... Whatever you want Kaashi..._ 😌🥰” 

“Will you wake up?”

The Ace only offered a sleepy-sigh in response. This man was NOT going to wake up.

“Are you having a good dream?” 

Bo sleepy-smiled. _“The_ **_bessst_ ** _dream..._ 😌🥰 _”_

 _Please don’t ask him what the dream is about. Please don’t ask him what the dream is about. Please don’t ask him what the dream is about,_ chanted the middle blocker internally. He prepared himself to press the mute button just in case. 

“Okay, Bokuto-san. You know what?” 

“😌🥰No I don’t know what, _what?_ 😌🥰” 

“If you get up right now and meet me at Uni Brunchette in the next... _.30 minutes_............. I’ll watch that movie you said you liked and wanted to show me during our next study session.” 

Suddenly, two giant Owl eyes shot open like the person who they belonged to was just electrocuted. Mattsun fell back on his ass, not expecting that level of surprise. _“Ooof!”_

“Is that--is that human Akaashi!?” Bo was clearly about to freak out as he sat up. “He’ll watch Dear John with me if I--?!?! **Oh I** ......... **_I-I need to get ready!”_ **Kotaro jumped up, racing towards Matty’s shower without another word.

Mattsun had his phone now, already having taken it off speaker when he went down. “He’s awake now, Akaashi, thanks a lot.” 

“Oh, good. Does he want to watch that movie?”

“Oh **hell yeah.** You guys can w--" Mattsun cringed when he heard a loud bang to his left that sounded like Bokuto just dropped in his shower. "--work out the details tonight. Gotta go!" 

“Understood.” answered the model. Matsukawa was too busy grabbing bandaids to identify the slight increase in excitement level in Akaashi’s voice. 

* * *

All things considered, Bokuto & Mattsun should have foreseen what they walked into when they entered Uni Brunchette. 

Akaashi and Hanamaki looked really good as usual; Hana wearing a light grey t-shirt with (thankfully for Mattsun) long board shorts, and Keiji was wearing a deep red shirt paired with a thick black cardigan darker than his hair. They looked _extremely_ fucking good.....so--really, 2/3 fuckboys should **_not_ **have been surprised to see them getting hit on when they walked in. 

Two random guys were perched over their table, nothing out of the ordinary in a College club that's basically made for this shit. Bokuto, Issei and Tetsu have done the same thing to a table of cuties here more times then they could count, and this was a bar. A third of the place was standing around mingling, another third was sitting down and mingling, and the last group was doing a mixture of both. You mix a bunch of young adults in a place with liquor and good looking people and here you go. Then, you mix 2 new hotties in the mix and.... **here you go.** Hence why Bokuto & Mattsun should have expected what they walked into when they entered Uni Brunchette. But, that didn't mean it couldn't piss them off. 

The two most annoying guys in here (because fuck off) weren't sitting with Matty's neighbours because obviously they told them those seats were taken, therefore they were just standing over the table: one beside Keiji and the other beside Hana. To add fuel to Bokuto’s fire, there were males around them but not at the table, watching-- **likely waiting to see these two gentlemen strike out so that they can have their shot at the new smoke show freshmen.** Issei briefly wondered how many times they've been hit on since they've been here... 

It really pissed both fuckboys off.

Before this, Bokuto had practically ran ahead of Mattsun when they jumped out of the Uber outside of Uni Brunchette. There were probably over 60 College students waiting in line out there, ready for a Friday night of drinking like College students do. Bo ran past the line and said his name to the bouncers, pulling Matsukawa behind him as well who refused to run with Bo. They'd gotten there in record time, too. Bo really wanted to meet Akaashi’s 30-minute window, bruises from falling in the tub and all. His hair was still mildly wet when they got there, though... which, luckily really worked for him.

Upon entry, Kotaro looked around the busy bar, looking for his Belle. He finally spotted them at the fuckboys' usual table by the time Matty strolled in too. The place was packed tonight. So it _hould be Fun--_ ** _Or so Matty thought,_ ** before his eyes landed on Hiro, reluctantly giving one of the guys who was peering at him with heart eyes a high five. 

Issei frowned. Makki is so much of a “bro” that he doesn’t even know when these “bro’s” of his want to take him home. It was kind of annoying.... as hypocritical as that might be. Either way: Even though Hana looked kind of annoyed by the guys around them, and Akaashi looked like he was seconds away from throwing punches if these males didn't step away now, these grown men were capable of taking care of themselves. Mattsun had to come to terms with the fact that there exists a whole other man that's _**job** _is to step in in situations like this for Hana. He doubted Hiro would appreciate the saviour-ship.

What is Matty supposed to say: _‘Hey, leave my friend alone? His significant other wouldn't like you hitting on him?”_ Mattsun let Bo know he was taking a minor detour, letting his more-than-capable-friend deal with this one. 

Not caring one bit, just annoyed that Akaashi wasn't being listened to, Bokuto strode in without thought, not letting anything deter him from walking up to his friends and **_especially_** not his Belle. The 4-men conversing could be easily overheard as Bo got closer. 

“Why doesn’t anyone believe me?! Dude, I’m dead serious. I have a fiancé.” 

“Oh come on...... you don’t have to give me that linee,” 

“It's not a line. You think I’m a ring model doing some free advertising or some shit? I’d make no sales trying to get horny College kids to buy rings, don't you think, tf?”

\--

“And...do you have a make-believe fiancé too, pretty? I don’t see a ring...”

Akaashi glowered. “Okay, one: Hanamaki's fiancé is not ‘make believe.’ And two: No. No fiancé. I don't need one in order to despise having you in my presence. Please leave.”

“God, I know I should feel insulted, but you’re so **_hotttt_ **when you’re ma--”

“Hey, hey, HEYYYYY, Akaashi! HI!” Greeted Bokuto, not even seeing anything wrong when he pushed through the 2 guys in order to claim **_his_ ** seat at **_his_ **reserved table next to Keiji. The two students were pushed way too far away by the Owl’s rock hard body to not seem like idiots if they returned now that their guests have arrived. The window of opportunity to chat up the cute freshmen while they waited for their guests seemed to have ended. All the hopeful guys wanting to shoot their shot tonight silently cut their losses. Meanwhile, Keiji almost grinned when he saw Bo, immediately relaxing and scooting a little closer to him and away from his admirers imperceptibly. 

“Bokuto-san, I didnt know if you would make it...”

“ **WHAT!?** I would never miss this Kaashi! I told you I’d always keep you company!”

“.......Thank you.” 

Sitting across from the brunette, maybe Hana could be mistaking the redness in Akaashi’s cheeks for being one of the normal side effects of Keiji’s intoxication..yeah. Or **_maybe, just maybe....._ ** the redness in Akaashi’s cheeks could be because of something else. Something that had to do with the reason why Akaashi has been sneakily (but come on, nothing gets past Makki) sneaking glances at the door for the past hour. 

##  **_Maybe._ **

"Bokuto-san, what's this?" Belle gently examined a purple mark on the Owl's forearm. 

"Oh, don't worry about me, Kaashi! I fell in Matty's bathtub but don't worry because I fall all the time!"

"That looks really bad. Does it hurt?"

"A bit, but I'm really strong and I've been hurt way worse on the court! One time I twisted my ankle and had to sit out for a week. I was back in 3 days! My doctor says I bounce back like no one he's ever seen before! So honestly whenever I get hurt now I ignore the pain because I know that--in the end--I'll be ooo......... _ka_....." logomaniatic words died off when--as he belittled his injuries--the grey-haired, pink-haired, and the Akaashi admirers watching from afar, witnessed Akaashi: lift the older male's forearm up to his lips to blow on the bruise gently.

##  **The world stopped for Kotaro.**

"This is what my mom used to do to me as a child when I got bruises." Keiji blew soft and slow again. "It always made me feel better." _Blow..._ "You still have to ice it, but for some reason, it helps. Right, Bokuto-san?" _Blow..._

Kotaro nodded slowly, hypnotized by the feeling of Akaashi's breath hitting his skin. He was sure that this is the closest he will ever get to being kissed by an angel. As Akaashi helped him, his entire body felt like it could melt to the floor right there and then.

 _Blow..._ "You can do it to yourself, too," _Blow..._ "You just have to blow very gently..." _Blow..._ "And softly..." _Blow..._ "And aim for the centre..." _Blow..._ "Before going to the edge." __Blow...__

Stil hypnotized, Bo's eye twitched. "R-re-real..re-really...?"

Akaashi nodded before blowing again. "Mhm." _Blow..._ "How does it feel, now?" _Blow..._

" **Amazing**.... Better than before I even fell..." 

Keiji was content with this, so he blew one last time before grinning, gently lowering Bokuto's arm. The two men stared at each other like they were in a temple at a yoga retreat in Bali and _**not** _like they were in a packed trendy bar downtown Tokyo **with a TICKLED PINK Pinkie sitting across from them.**

“...So I don't get a hello, Bokuto?!” Makki’s eyes flicked between the two figures in front of him that were staring intensely at one another. The Pinkie's eyes lit up in amusement, his voice a bit louder than usual since he was a bit tipsy. "I didn't know I was invisible..?"

The Owl snapped out of his stupor, Akaashi scooting away from him. “Oh, of course not! Hi, Hana!!” 

The Pinkie smiled. “Where’s my neighbour?” He winked. “He get lost in the place he spends more time in than his own home?” 

As if on queue, two tatted, muscular, sexy arms reached around Makki from behind, setting a round of 8 shots down in the centre of the table. 

“ **_Actually,_ ** ” Mattsun started over the music and the noise of the indoor+outdoor lounge, “Your neighbour got lost at **_the bar_ ** buying his ungrateful neighbour a round of shots for being late. Your neighbour also put in an order for wings. Your neighbour **actually** feeds himself without help so that he doesn’t have to ask his neighbour four doors down for flour at 11pm.!” 

Hanamaki laughed just like he had on the phone, only it sounded so much more beautiful in-person. “Fuck you,” he smacked one of the tatted arms encaging him at the table. “Thank you for the shots though. How did you know I like Henny?” 

Mattsun handed out the shots in front of the three gentlemen and then at his seat. “I think your special power is rubbing off on me,” 

“Ah,” Hana smiled at Mattsun as he took his seat next to him, and across from Bo. Issei noticed the Pinkie was happy tonight, it was totally evident on his face and in his energy. It lifted the middle blocker’s spirit immediately. 

Takahiro lifted up his shot to the centre of the table and watched the other three follow suit. “Well in that case: I propose a toast.” 

“To Kenma again?” Akaashi asked, looking to Hana, not noticing how Bokuto didnt take his eyes off of him. 

Makki shook his head. “Sort of, but more general.” Makki continued, making sure his toast was inconspicuous, so that it sounded like it was dedicated to his blonde best friend **only** _and not **both** of his best friends. _

They all met Hiro's shot glass in the centre with theirs.

“This is a toast to............ a new school year, to new friendships, to new neighbours...... and to new...” When Makki was sure Akaashi was staring at the glasses, he sent a wink to Bokuto who Hiro kicked under the table to get his attention away from staring at Keiji. They locked eyes. 

“..And to new chances at love,” he finished, staring directly at the blushing Owl. Then--to make sure the clever Keiji wasn't catching on, Hiro added: **“To Kenma and Kuroo!”**

Not one man at that table had Kenma nor Kuroo in their mind when they heard that toast... but they repeated it anyway: 

##  _“to Kenma and Kuroo,”_

Before clinking glasses. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is another episode coming in a few hours // the latest tomorrow! (it takes me a while to edit)
> 
> Please let me know what you think, it motivates me :)


	9. EPISODE 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the 3rd part of this 3-episode marathon! Three days of posting & editing-- **whew, that was tough.**
> 
> Your kudos and **ESPECIALLY** your comments are much appreciated.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this dramatic ep!.... grab the popcorn and send me all your reactions if you're willing! :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 6**

* * *

Stargazing under the Eiffel Tower was something Kenma Kozume never thought he’d be able do in his lifetime... 

Yet here he was: pretty damn close to the real thing. Everything looked incredible and it all felt and seemed real...to the point where Kozume had to continuously remind himself that he was in a virtual reality. 

The two men were standing under the "Eiffel Tower” at night, where Kuroo played with the setting to make it so that only a handful of virtual tourists were under there with them as well. Live barocque music was playing by a local virtual band over there, and one can imagine it was all very romantic.

They were hours into their date at this point, and strangely enough Kenma had actually lost track of time more than once. He really thought he’d need to pinch himself awake from time to time to endure a date with this jerk, but what his date had chosen as the activity had oddly mitigated that...

The first part of Kenma’s mission was simple: reel this man by infiltrating his mind; learn what makes him tick. That’s what he dedicated this date to doing. Well, at least setting the groundwork for it. But, Kuroo’s date plan was putting a major damper in his progress, fuck!

He wanted to seduce Kuroo a little too, but between Kenma continuously getting distracted by the spectacular views of a glowing waterfall; or by witnessing a family of Zebras teaching their young how to select herbs; or by hearing the way bats communicated with one another in the spooky forest, etc...... it was getting pretty difficult for Kenma to collect the information he needed at the same time. The date was just too freaking awesome to focus. 

Nevertheless, Kenma knew he had a job to do and that, no matter how cool the date was, he was not going to fail his mission. After he had had his fun in all the different realities, he asked to end the date somewhere chill. He needed a somewhat normal virtual location with minor distractions so that he can to tap into the psyche of this fuckboy and eventually make him his plaything. Kozume knew Kuroo was weak to his seduction, so he had to start seducing him in the second half of this date, and fast.

##  **It is Game Time. 🎮😈**

“Hey, what’s this setting?” The blonde touched one of the holographic squares in front of him. He'd learned as they went. 

"Hm, not sure..." Kuroo was still looking up at the fake stars.

Since Kenma had lost a lot of the utility for his “tools for destruction” (a.k.a his sexy date outfit) the second he put this jumpsuit on, he had to make up for lost time. While his hair and facial expressions weren’t obstructed, taking away the outfit that obviously held Kuroo by the boner was a clear hit to his mission. In virtual reality they still wore the jumpsuits, so maybe there was a way to change that...... “Oh cool, look, this menu says I can change clothes.”

Standing shoulder-to-shoulder (not literally, due to their height difference), Kozume selected a menu option and just like a video game character; his outfit changed to the one he originally had on underneath. He looked up at Kuroo who was already staring back at him, or at his thighs to be exact. 

##  **If this was a real video game, 100 coins just entered Kenma's bank:** 🥇🥇🥇

“You’re so beautiful...” complimented Tetsu, pulling himself out of his simp-like state. “Pinch me, honestly.” 

“Okay,” Kenma pinched Kuroo’s arm, hard, and the older male yelped in pain. 

“ **Oi!!!!** I didn’t mean _ **literally!”**_ He rubbed his arm with a scowl.

Smirking, the cat shrugged. “Couldn’t tell.” 

“I’m sure you could absolutely tell you tiny sadis--”

“Hey, look! There are other options for my clothes. Let’s try.... _this one._ ” 

Suddenly, the blonde’s outfit changed so that he was virtually wearing a large bohemian poncho. 

Kuroo chuckled, thinking his scale-breaker looked incredibly adorable. “You _would_ choose that...” He nodded. 

“Oh, let me try this--” 

Kenma’s outfit now switched to a full blown army suit, fixed with the medallions and everything. While Kozume didn't like this one, Kuroo had to stop himself from drooling. 

“You look so good,” he licked his lips. “I love a man in uniform,” 

##  **And again: 🥇🥇🥇**

Kenma liked the heated way Kuroo was staring at him, it made him feel in control: just like he should be on this mission. 

“Mmm, yeah?" He swiped through the clothing options. "So tell me Kuroo..." He grinned evilly. "Do like a man in **_this_** uniform?” The blonde pressed one of the buttons from the menu's arousal section.

Suddenly the gorgeous blonde was "virtually" dressed in:

Making the same facial expression.

One of Japan’s (self-proclaimed, but it's true) hottest playboys **LITERALLY** choked on his own spit. 

Kenma looked down at the outfit himself. “It’s so weird that the censors know my body.... how does it look?”

Kuroo was seriously choking so he couldn't respond, but his mind was yelling: ' **HOT!!!!'** over and over again. He could only give a thumbs up as he folded in half to cough uncontrollably, trying to catch some air. 

“Oh my goodness...” Kenma turned on the charm, bending over next to Kuroo and patting his back to get out the coughs. “Are you okay?” The evil blonde feigned concern, even though his Gamer mind was yelling: 

##  **CHA-CHING: 🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇** **🥇🥇🥇**

The Raven--still coughing--looked over with wide, wet eyes. “Y-ye-yeas-ya.” but the man could not stop coughing. 

Kenma wasn’t used to being so attractive to somebody, he mostly ignored anyone that showed sexual interest in him, so this took some getting used to. Taking pity on the man, he selected what he needed to again so that he appeared to be back in his jumpsuit. 

“Better?”

Coincidentally, Kuroo was finally able to get his cough under control then. He nodded. “B-Better for my self con-control, yes. Fuck, thank you.” 

Kenma nodded smugly. "No problem."

* * *

***** 20 minutes later *****

* * *

“Kuro,” 

The Raven turned away from his star gazing to look down at Kozume. “Yes, Kitten?” 

“Why did you choose this, **here** , as a date?” 

Kuroo responded straight away. “Oh,” he stuffed both his hands deep in his pockets. “From what I know about you... I really thought you would like it.” 

“What did you know?” 

“Ha, well, I know based on last weekend that you’re into video games.... so I asked some of my old techie ~~fuckbuddies~~ friends about dates for gamers, and they kept saying shit like ‘do not go to an arcade’ , instead maybe stay in and play together, which--while I enjoy playing video games too; I much prefer to, you know... look at my date instead of a screen all night.. so I searched it myself. I knew you liked games and you're a computer science major, so I asked myself: how can incorporate those two things into this? Then it hit me. Advanced VR centres are kind of the most awesome ‘game’ in terms of computer graphics, right? It made sense. I looked around Tokyo, and found this place!” 

“But this must have been so expensive.” 

The taller male shrugged. “I told you that you’re the most beautiful and interesting person I've ever seen, right? I’d spend way more if given the chance.”

The blonde couldn’t help but blush. “Interesting, so you were willing to bet a bunch of money hoping that I'd enjoy this?” Kenma was shocked that Kuroo had planned a date right on the money, seeing as he purposely ignored all his texts and snaps and dms so that Kuroo had little to no information to go off of.

The Raven was vaguely aware that has never been this honest with a potential fuck before, but he couldn't seem to stop. “Kind of, except there is another reason why I was a little more certain about this date than that.” 

Kenma made sure to bat his super long eyelashes curiously at Tetsu, mentally applauding himself when Kuroo gulped when he did. 

**🥇**

“Well, I also picked this date because I gathered... _that you don’t really like people,_ right?”

Hm. Kenma was intrigued by that notion. “What, what do you mean?” 

Kuroo took a second to make sure that his words came out correctly. The last thing he wanted to do was insult his scale-breaker. “I mean .... you’re an introvert, right?” 

Pausing first too, the blonde then nodded, pulling a few strands of hair behind his ear. 

“That's what I assumed. So, yes, virtual reality as a construct is out of this world and I reckoned you’d fancy it, but ... what **_really_ ** sold me on this date was when I read the manual and read that with a click of a button I could make all the virtual people disappear. I could never do that on any other date. We’d be alone, which would make you more comfortable, right? I like people a lot but I could tell by the way you hid at the party that you and I are opposites on that front. So what better activity is there to do than one that gives my introverted date all the perks and satisfaction of sociability, with **none** of the _**actual** _socializing? If I brought you to any random restaurant, you'd close off like you did at the party, hiding somewhat. But during this date I saw a different side of you; you opened up! You told me about your past and your future and you just seemed like a different person. I loved every second of it. That part for me; learning about you without the pressure of being around others NOR the pressure of being quote unquote "alone" on a first date in our rooms or something.... it's what's made this the most amazing one I’ve ever been on. Truthfully. Even though it _**looks**_ like we’re surrounded by French people in Paris right now.... you know it’s really just us: alone in a room... playing a video game: which is exactly what you love to do most. It's what makes you happy, I think; and that in turn makes me happy. Huh--so maybe those techies were right about their date recommendation after all.” 

...

After hearing that speech, all Kenma could think was: _**Wow.** He is even more intelligent than he even thought! With only surface level information about me, he was able to come up with a date that hit the nail right on the head. It's no wonder Kuroo was able to sleep with every guy he's ever wanted. _

_If this was a game Kenma was really targeting the wealthiest mafia boss, or the most powerful king, or the wisest wizard. Kuroo was that strong._

##  _**100 coins: Deducted:**_ ❌🥇 **🥇**

"I really enjoyed this..." admitted the younger male.

The middle blocker smiled, triumphant. “Thank you for agreeing to go on this date with me, Kenma. I really wanted to impress you and I.....I am really interested in you. I’d like to take you out again.” 

Another blush found the pretty boy. He had to keep Kuroo on his toes. “I’ll think about it, and let you know at the end of the date?” 

“But... isn't this the end of the date?” 

“Tsk. Tsk, Tetsuro. Didn’t you say something about taking me out to eat when we were in that meadow?” 

Hazel eyes lit up. “Yeah!" He squeaked, then he purposely dropped his voice " _Ahem._ I-I mean... **yeah,** I mentioned it....” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “But you said you didn't want to...” 

“Can't you see how I operate by now? That was when I didn’t know how this date would go. Well now I do!” 

The Raven's smile was the largest Kenma has ever seen it. “God, I’m so glad to hear you say that. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go!” 

“No,” It was really important for the blonde to test how good this guy was at reading people. If his plan was going to have any chance at success, he needed to adjust it if the goal was to capture someone so intelligent. Kuroo was obviously able to get amazing men like Hinata by doing all the right things, so it was time to put Tetsuro’s ability to do so to the test.“You had everything planned, right?”

The Raven nodded confidently.

“So where did you _ **plan**_ on taking me?” 

“Um.....” he appeared nervous. ~~The most confident guy Kenma has ever met seemed nervous!~~ “I actually planned to take you to Uni Brunchette, but we can go anywhere you want!” 

_Huh? That brunch place with the ordinary food? That's not where Kenma would have chosen at all._ “Interesting, why Uni Brunchette?” Is this a win???? _Maybe Kuroo isn't as good at reading people as he thought! That will only work in Kozume's favour :)_

“Well,” Tetsu explained, “I know that introverts have a social clock, right? In which they don’t mind being social up to a certain amount of hours. They need to recharge alone once their limit is reached,”

“That’s true….” _Where was he going with this?_

“Right so..." Kuroo was looking nervous again. "By the end of this date I assumed you'd reach your limit. But... I _ **also**_ know that introverts can also recharge by being near those they feel 100% comfortable around, so…” 

“Oh.” _It made perfect sense now._ “Hiro and Akaashi are at Uni Brunchette….” _Fuck._

Kuroo nodded. “Technically. That was my reasoning.” 

_He's brilliant._

The blonde stared up at the man, genuinely in shock. He couldn't understand this guyyyyyy! Kuroo just wanted to get in Kenma’s pants, right??? That much was obvious! SO then _**why**_ is he going through so much trouble just to get to know him!?!? To make him comfortable and happy?!! Does he really put this much effort into getting with men? It seemed exhausting. He was genuinely shocked, and another 100 coins were deducted from his earnings from today. 

## ❌ ****❌🥇

This was going to be harder than Kozume thought.

_Guess he'll have to take it up a notch, then._

* * *

_**Later that night, At the infamous Uni Brunchette:** _

“Here, Kenma, take another shot,” said Akaashi uncharacteristically. He had just returned from a trip to the bar with another round of shots for Kenma. 

Horny as hell from being around his scale-breaker all evening, The Raven’s eyes couldn't help but zero in on Kenma’s lips as they jutted out to let the shot glass sit upon them. Kuroo watched Kenma throw his head back along with the liquor. He admired the fact that Kenma never let a drop leak. _That's a really good talent to have...if you catch his drift...and his blonde had r **eally** nice lips to be talented with - _Tetsu thought to himself. His eyes darkened when Kenma downed another shot, making the middle blocker bite his own bottom lip. 

“You’re staring, like...really hard.” Mattsun pointed out in secret.

“Shut up." growled the Raven. He spoke so only his friend could hear,"I had to be a gentleman all evening when I didn’t know the date would last this long. Give me a break.” While the middle blocker was extremely happy that Kenma went from rejecting his advances several times, to wanting to extend the time of their date—Kuroo had never been on a date this long before without going back to someone’s apartment to bone. That was his definition of a perfect date, after all. 

After two amazing evenings on opposite ends of the city, all 6 boys were together again for a night cap at Uni Brunchette. Having pulled up two extra chairs at their 4-person table to make room for the happy daters when they surprised them there, the night was just starting to pick up.

Drunk Hana and drunk Akaashi had several questions for Kenma, but he only said “it was really good. Ask me later.” In front of the table, to which Kuroo smiled pridefully at. 

Akaashi was the type of drunk that wanted to get everybody drunk, so Kenma humoured him by throwing back four shots already. He was feeling fuzzy, really happy, and not to mention flirty. The blonde only ever got drunk in the house so he was always private in the way he dealt with his flirty tendencies while intoxicated, but unfortunately (for one person) this wasn’t the case tonight. _**Kenma had a mission to accomplish.**_

The beautiful and usually quiet blonde was pretty subtle in how he flirted with poor Kuroo: he rested his hand on his date’s lap as he spoke, he wanted to whisper in his date’s ear a lot even though he could say something out loud, and he became fond of using light cheek kisses as a way of reminding them that ‘I’m enjoying this date.’ 

Needless to say….. Kuroo Tetsurō’s dick was hard as a rock beneath their table at Uni Brunchette, deciding to stop drinking after a few shots because Kenma’s behaviour made him feel headier than alcohol ever could. 

When his scale-breaker said he wanted to get something to eat, Ku had not thought of the fact that that would mean no sex tonight, because Kenma would be drunk. Not that he thought Kenma would say yes, ~~not reeeally~~. But a man can dream, right? ( _Oh how those three boys loved to dream)._

The fuckboy trio watched as Hana, Akaashi & Kenma took **another** shot together. Fuck, is that shot #7 for them? 

And the fuckboys had lived their whole lives thinking **_they_** could drink!

Kuroo felt as though he was in both heaven and hell. He can’t even _**remember**_ the last time he left a date without a handjob at least (or else, what’s the point?) and he had never been as attracted to a date as he was to Kenma, so, this qualified as borderline torture for his dick. A dick that has been so spoiled its entire adult life. 

“How are you guys buying so many shots?” Issei asked, chill & leaning back in his chair. He had a few shots in him and was on his second beer, slowing down. Kuroo could tell that he has been having a good time. He could always tell. “Are my neighbour’s secret millionaires or something?” 

Akaashi shook his head. “No.” 

When Keiji didn’t elaborate, leaving Mattsun confused, Hana sighed at his roommate and explained for him. “The bartender up there is giving Akaashi free shots. He totally has a thing for him and is refusing to take his money!” 

While Akaashi rolled his eyes, the Owl next to him pouted. He turned all the way around in his seat to face the busy bar, unable to see the bartenders over the waiting students, but glaring in that general direction nonetheless. 

“What a shallow world we live in.” Issei put a hand on Bo’s shoulder to bring him back down.

“The shallowest.” Hana agreed, 

Kuroo nodded. “Is it bad to say I fit right in?” He leaned down toward Kenma who wanted to whisper in his ear again. Every time that sexy fucking voice met Tetsurō‘s ear he got impossibly harder. This was simultaneously one of the best and worst date’s of his life, because he wanted to jump for joy that it went so well, but he also couldn’t physically jump for joy because he was sporting a major hard-on. The Raven couldn’t stop staring at Kenma’s thigh that was showing when he bent inwards to be whispered to. **Kuroo was horny.** He wanted (but refrained) to lean down and litter those thighs with kisses, he wanted to turn his head when Kenma went in for a cheek kiss to meet their lips in a fiery one. He wanted to dick down the beautiful man next to him so badly that--since he can’t, he was certain he’d have blue balls by the end of the night.

_God, He really hoped Kenma would agree to another date. He’d want it to be tomorrow, but he’d have to wait as to not look desperate! He just needed to wait, and hope._

However, that crewneck-thigh-high-boot combo the hottie was wearing was testing his patience like nothing before. How was Tetsu supposed to be a gentlemen and 'hope and wait' when he wanted to tie his date up to his bedpost and spank him for being so fucking sexy?! How was he supposed to be a gentlemen and 'hope and wait' when he wanted his date to ride his thigh until he painted Kuroo's abs white?! Kuroo knows he’s a freak, but it’s never been so evident to even himself until tonight. He literally had a long 'to-fuck' list on his phone that he could use when this date was over, but for some reason he only wanted one person.

**This wasn't good.**

Kenma Kozume had exceeded all of his expectations, and Kuroo wanted to fuck him into oblivion for it. Have him seeing stars for it. Cum deep inside him for it. _He’s gorgeous._

What a date. 

Meanwhile, as Kuroo struggled with whining of the pulsing hammer in his pants, the rest of the table chatted on happily.

**With a Platonic Matsu | Hana**

“Oh, I definitely glowed up after high school…” said Makki to Bo & Hana when the topic came up about someone else they knew. “My aunt had this shitty salon and my mom made me get all my haircuts there….. they kept giving me this bowl cut with their eyes closed, apparently. It’s fucking embarrassing when I look back at it.” 

Mattsun’s stomach churned while he ate; realizing that he liked when Hiro made fun of anyone else besides himself. 

“Really? Can I see?” Bokuto asked curiously, eyes straying from Hanamaki to watch Akaashi leave to the bar again. His bright expression dimmed.

Hiro nodded and pulled up pictures on his phone. He showcased his 2-year-old graduation pics to the two men he was sandwiched between. 

Interested, Issei peered over his chicken wing at a photo of Hanamaki blowing a kiss to the camera in his purple cap and gown. His heart clenched. 

_So cute._

Hana swiped to the next picture—one that was much more Hana, since he was facing the back of a man who was likely Hiro's high school principal talking to the graduates. Hiro was sticking his middle finger up at his back in the photo, and Mattsun’s heart clenched again. Typical Makki, and still:

**_So cute._ **

“Horrible. I feel bad for my classmates for having to look at my straw hair cut and beady eyes. Looking back I don’t know how I let my aunt _do that to me_!” 

Mattsun forced out a fake chuckle alongside Takahiro’s real one. **It was the first time he’d ever had to fake a laugh with Makki,** but he had to, or else it’d be pretty weird to say to someone who-is-supposed-to-be-his-new-friend what he really thought in that moment. To tell Makki that: ‘ _dude, if I knew you in high school, my dick would probably fall off due to how many times I’d creampie to thoughts of you every night. You were still hancutexy as hell.”_

A cute but drunk Hana showed a few more old photos, laughing at himself some more before tucking his phone away. 

“Once I moved away from home for my gap year, I ended up being scared shitless of hairdressers so I let my hair grow out. I finally learned to trust again and met this hairdresser name Miwa who is the only human allowed to touch my hair from now on. Now I’m accepting donations to my gofundme for travel expenses so I can give motivational speeches to kids everywhere about moderately successful glow ups. I’ll host a workshop on how to get their barbers to hate them. Ha, anyway, ya, I want to tell the kids that they too can go from was seriouslyyy gross in high school, to 'not half bad' in College.”

Hold up _, not Half bad?_ Mattsun repeated Makki’s words to himself, widening his eyes. He chewed faster to stop himself from saying what he wanted to. 

_The dude was a 6-foot tall God with a handsome face, a great ass, and mind blowingly attractive_ **_pink_ ** _hair!!!!!! ‘Half bad’ Makki probably left him in **middle** school. _

Mattsun caved a little bit, “I think you looked good back then.” he interjected between chews.

Hana nudged him. "Awh, thanks Neighz." The Pinkie pinched his friend's cheek adoringly, and Mattsun had to pretend not to like it. 

—

**With a Platonic Boku | Aka**

“Akaashi, where are you going again??” Bokuto had refrained from talking to Akaashi as much as he wanted to all night, probably because he didn’t want to fuck around and expose his feelings when he was intoxicated. Between the whole 'blowing on his wound' thing and Hana practically giving him the go-ahead to (possibly) pursue Akaashi during a toast..? Bo’s feelings for his Belle had increased tenfold. The rate that his crush was progressing alarmed him.  
  
When Kōtarō did deem it was safe enough to talk, however: Akaashi kept getting up to get more shots at the same time. It was like he was _avoiding_ Kōtarō for some reason.

They chatted a bit here and there, sure, but it was mainly group conversations and nothing intimate like the moment they shared in the mall or when the model put his arm down. 

Bokuto wondered how Akaashi was doing after that whole mall ordeal because the visual of his Belle crying in his arms absolutely wrecked him in the worst way this past week. Keiji hadn’t brought it up in class at all, nor over text, so Bokuto was almost convinced by the way Keiji was acting that it never even happened.

He was almost convinced that Akaashi and he **_hadn’t_ ** actually ran into Keiji’s dreadful ex-boyfriend and his **family.** Bo couldn’t imagine the level of pain someone could endure after discovering the double life of their significant other like that, so he left it alone. He didn’t want to be the one to bring it up and be the cause of Akaashi’s hurt again. 

But now, Kotaro was well aware that Akaashi had not forgotten at all. On the contrary, it was the Owl’s theory that Keiji was drinking a lot more than Bo had expected him to _**because**_ he hadn’t forgotten it.

While this was a night to ‘apparently’ celebrate Kenma, Akaashi also wanted to use this night to **_forget_**. 

Forget what happened at the mall. And likely his entire last relationship. He was clearly (to him) hurting, and Bo had made it his mission to be a good friend to the model so that he’d see what an honest relationship from someone on the outside looked like. 

Unfortunately, he was a crazy heavy weight, so even after 7 paced shots, Keiji was basically the same cold man. 

“Hm? Oh, I’m going to the sushi bar.” Keiji answered, stepping in so he was closer to Bokuto. 

The Owl’s heart skipped a beat at the proximity. 

Bokuto wondered why Akaashi never returned with any food on those frequent bar trips. “Again? You must be really picky when it comes to sushi, huh??” _He hoped he wasn’t leaving for crying breaks in the bathroom._ “I could go next door and get you something else to eat, if you’d like?” He offered, thinking Maybe his Belle kept going back to the sushi bar hoping there were new options. 

To that sweet proposal, the stunning brunette grinned warmly, shaking his head and placing a gentle hand on the Owl’s chest. 

Bo.exe stopped working as soon as they made contact.

“No, actually, I haven’t been going to the sushi bar **to eat.** That bartender refuses to take my money for the alcohol I order, so I’m giving what I owe to the female employee up there. I know her from a few of my other classes and she understands that I don’t have time to argue with her employee & that I’d like to pay for my own drinks, so she set a tab for me there.”

Kotaro fell a bit more upon hearing that explanation. His crush is such a badass, even in the subtlest ways. It made him feel oddly proud of himself for liking someone so strong. If he brought Akaashi home, even as a friend, he knew his entire family would wonder how someone like Keiji even spoke to him. 

Akaashi felt the need to explain himself when he was stared at in awe,“..While it’s a nice gesture, I don’t need a man buying me drinks—or buying me anything, for that matter. The next thing you know he might think I owe him my time for his purchases. _I’ve been through something similar…”_

Bo nodded half-absentmindedly, _falling and falling and falling..._ He spoke through a tight voice. “Oh. Sorry for assuming you were getting food... That makes sense...I guess,.” He paused before added with a fiery blush:

“You’re _..._ really _cool, Akaashi.”_

Keiji’s scowl actually softened, leaning in even closer to the lovestruck Owl. His hand that was still on Bo’s chest slid up so that it wrapped around his shoulder, then the back of his neck, wrapping around the back of it and pulling Bo close so that the model could be heard in a low voice. 

“After I pay, would you like to get out of here, Bokuto-san?” He asked the taller male softly. _Bo wondered whether he was still dreaming on Matty’s couch or not..._ “Kenma and Hana usually stay till it closes, but I’m tired of the music. I know I haven't spoken a lot tonight, and that's because...well, I just want to talk to you, _alone,_ if that’s okay? What time is your work out tomorrow morning?” 

Blushing furiously because ‘ _Akaashi🥺Close🥺Smell🥺Nice🥺Want🥺Alone🥺Time’_ , The grey haired pathetically raised 6 of his fingers in the air to show Akaashi. 

“6 am?” The model asked. 

Kotaro nodded. 

“Great, I’ll go with you.” 

Bokuto’s eyes popped out, saying: **really???** 😵😵😵

“Yeah, you……” when the beauty stopped and blushed slightly, Kotaro thought his knees were going to give out. “...You distract me from thinking about my…. _You know._ There is something about being in your presence that just kind of makes me forget about everything else in my life. It’s... really… **nice**.” 

Kotaro fell for the beauty in front of him even more. He knew he was red as a tomato right now. Luckily, Keiji took his silence as a yes. 

“I’ll get one more round with Kozume, pay the rest of my tab, then you and I can leave, sound good?” 

_Sounds Perfect_ …. thought the Owl—tongue tied. 

Akaashi understood anyway. 

* * *

  
“Hana, come with us!” A drunk Kenma jumped up and extended his hand toward Hanamaki. 

“Sigh. Duty calls,” whispered a drunk Hana to Mattsun as he scooted by him in their half booth. Matsukawa tried his best to make room but in such a crowded bar where students were standing behind him, he only had so much room to work with: making it so Makki’s ass brushed his groin when he scooted over him.   
  
Damn... 🤤 

_LIFE REALLY WASN’T FAIR HUH!? HOW COULD a simple graze on Matty’s area feel better than the hour of sex he had earlier that day_ ⁉️ _Mattsun hated that he was unreservedly sexually-attracted to the Pinkie._

The graze only lasted about 2 seconds, but in those 2 seconds it took everything in Issei not to grab the Pinkie’s hips and grind him atop his penis for more friction. **Fuck.  
  
**

Kenma held his roommate’s hand when he stood up.

“Be right back, Kuro,”

Placing his fingers lightly under Kuroo’s chin, Kenma leaned in and kissed Tetsurō’s cheek before getting up to get a final round of free drinks with his roommates.

Kuroo nodded about 5 seconds after Kenma had already left. His cheek that had been kissed, **_as well as_ **his chin that had been cradled tingled a great deal, the sensation making his hard dick pulsate. 

_A.Simple.Fucking.Kiss.On.The.Cheek.Made.His.Dick.Pulsate!?!?! **Kuroo wanted to die.**_

As soon as the coast was clear and all three pretty boys were far enough from their usual table so that Kuroo was just left with his best friends... Kuroo buried his head in his hands, letting out an exasperated groan.

## It’s official: He was in hell, Bo was in heaven, and Mattsun was somewhere in between; laughing at them both.

“Kenma is really flirty when he’s drunk, huh?” Mattsun asked from his seat across their table, aiming to toy.

“Dude. Mhmm.” Kuroo hummed in agreement, lifting his head and wiping a hand over his face. He sipped his water and swallowed hard before dropping his head back in his hands, anguish written all over him. 

“And that _outfit?_ He looks **really** good tonight, huh?” Mattsun asked, teasing his best friend some more.

Kuroo pictured that fucking peek-a-boo of milky thighs, another exasperated groan leaving him involuntarily. “Dude. Amazing.”

“And.....” Mattsun smirked. “He’s turning you on acting like that and looking so good, **isn’t he?** ” It was more of a statement than a question.

Another aggressive gulp of water was forced down by the Raven. His expression read that he was in pure agony. “Dude. I’m dying.”

Kuroo ignored the tatted male’s laughter.

“Bro, it’s not funny. 😡. My balls are about to be blue as fuck. I’ve wanted to fuck Kenma for weeks now…. And the most he’s given me are those lingering cheek kisses... _which are really nice cause his lips are super soft..._ but, I mean, how is that supposed to hold me over when he’s sitting beside me looking like sex on legs?! Is this how ugly guys go through life— _ **not**_ getting the guy?! My dick is so fucking pissed at me right now.”

At that, Issei laughed lavishly.

“Why didn’t you just convince him to go back to one of the apartments then?” Bo asked kindly. “Why bring him here?”

“Because,” the Raven started. “I realized mid-date that it would serve me well _ **not**_ to treat my scale-breaker like all the other guys I’ve banged when he is absolutely NOTHING like them! Hes exactly what I called him: a **scale-breaker.** _A fucking anomaly. You guys just don’t get it, the rules change with men like him._ Kenma is….. **_Really_ **sexy, _yes_ , but he’s more than that. Talking to him all night made me realize that in addition to being amazing to look at; Kenma is smart, and honest, and interesting and introverted. He’s talkative when he gets comfortable, he does this cute thing where he looks down when he’s nervous _**AND**_ when he’s happy, and he talks about Makki and Akaashi a lot, meaning he’s a caring friend…even if he doesn’t look it— and, _**oh!**_ He’s talented. Did you guys know that he’s one of the top three scorers in _**HayStrike HISTORY**_?! If I convince him to start a Gaming YouTube channel I’m pretty sure he’d be super successful cause despite wanting to hide all the time he's likeable. Fuck. It’s weird you guys. I have this strange urge to protect him. Kenma is just so complex, complex and pretty........” Kuroo paused his monologue, ponderous. “ _Damn, isn’t he so fucking pretty?”_ Kuroo shrugged, returning to the original question as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “So dude, that’s why I can’t just treat him like all the other guys 🤷♂️.”

The table fell silent.   
  
Only the buzz of the lively bar could be heard for a good 15 seconds.

...

Finally, Issei spoke.

##  **“Damn.”**

Mattsun crossed his arms and studied his best friends. Kuroo watched as his two friends exchanged amused, cheshire-cat grins. 

He gave them a look, annoyed with those two. “ _What? ‘Damn’_ what? Damn: I’m horny? Yeah, sue me, my dick’s been hard for the past hour.” He grumbled. 

“No,” Bo shook his head slowly with an annoying smile on his face. “Cant you tell, Ku? _That was a:_ ” Bokuto raised his glass for a cheers, smiling wider. “ _ **Damn:**_ You **like** him.”

“--After one date.” Matty added quickly, obnoxiously clinking his glass with Bo. They both wiggled their eyebrows at their Ravenous friend, who scoffed. 

“ _You two are drunk_.” answered Ku flatly.   
  


“We’re really not,” Bo still wouldn’t wipe that stupid smirk of his face. “But you’re drunk in love, though. Beyoncé voice.”   
  


Kuroo growled.

“You **like** him. It's fine. But RIP bro.” Mattsun did the sign of the cross then patted Kuroo on the shoulder like he was a pity case.   
  


Kuroo growled again—

“You two idiots don’t know the difference between wanting to stick your dick in someone and liking them yet!? I’m disappointed.”

”Nah,” KoBo’s eyes were twinkling as he spoke. “Seems like it’s **you** that doesn’t know the difference between _wanting to stick your dick in someone_ , _liking them_ , OR: **both occurring at the same time.** ” 

The man accused scoffed again. It didn’t happen often... _but he hated when KoBo made sense sometimes._

 _”I never thought I’d see the day.......”_ Mattsun murmured breathlessly.

Backed into a metaphorical corner due to his best friends' knowing eyes— _the two men that knew him best in this world_ — Kuroo went on Defensive Mode. He began sputtering.

“What???!!! I-You Guys— I can’t believe—that you--you, do you know who I am--??! _**I’m not the relationship type** ,_ I--” 

“Never said you were.” Matty shrugged, the smug smile never leaving his **_or_** Kōtarō’s face.

Kuroo never hated his best friend’s smiles more.

“I _**don’t**_ like my date, _New Years Baby. Kobo.”_ Kuroo made this clear through clenched teeth. “It’s the _**horny**_ talking, okay? H-o-r-n-y. You two are getting it mixed up because you can tell that I want to fuck Kenma longer, harder, and deeper than anyone I’ve ever encountered before. Ugh, I have to _**wait**_ to do that--which I’ve never had to do before—So _that’s_ the only reason why I’m acting like this--” Kuroo watched his friends exchange glances that he knew meant they weren’t buying it for a second. He was usually included in this glance, so he knew it all too well. Ku could feel himself being studied when the table fell silent again. Then, Bo was clearing his throat. 

“Ah, Whatever you say, bro.” Bokuto turned his attention fully to the Sloth, raising his glass for a cheers again. “You owe me 2,000 yen, Matty!” They clinked glasses. 

“ **Oi!** ” The Raven grabbed both their forearms and pulled them down after they cheered, spilling some of the contents on their wrists. “Stop fucking cheers-ing! **You guys made a bet on my love life?!** ” 

Matty shrugged, slowly using a napkin to wipe off the spilt drink. “I believed in you bro. I thought you’d fall around month 11, at the _**least**_ , but Kobo somehow knew it’d be sooner than that.” 

Kuroo sighed. _Weren’t they listening?!_

“I SAID that I don’t **like** Kenma! I can fuck any guy I want, have my pick at this bar; have any guy sucking my dick in the bathroom if I wanted to. So why would I fall for the _**one**_ guy that doesn’t seem to get that? The one that prances around all sexy and cute like I can’t have him wrapped around my finger if I wanted to?! The one that I haven’t even touched--the most I’ve gotten from him was a hug and kisses on the cheek--so he’s obviously gonna move hella slow!? Why would I fall for him of all people—and after the FIRST DATE, no less?! _**Are you even listening to how dumb you two sound!?**_ You guys _know_ that I don’t believe in that touchless-relationship bullshit. You at least have to kiss a guy before you know that you like him, and we haven’t even done something as simple as _**that**_ yet.” 

Matsukawa chuckled, stretching his tattooed arms. “I agree with you on the physical touch front.” he patted Ku on the back as if he was calming down a toddler. “Or at least-- _I did,_ until I saw your face when you came back from this date.” 

“It was written all over your face bro, then you just made it obvious in that speech. You like him, Ku. Trust me, it’s easier not to fight it!” Bo’s eyes still twinkled, beyond happy for his friend. “To Kuroo and Kenma!” He tried to cheers again. _Big mistake._

  
Kōtarō’s glass slowly lowered when he was met with Kuroo’s menacing glare. “Uh.....” Bo relented, scared. “How about...to love? Or to new possibilities..?” He tried, raising a hand in front of his face as a shield because Kuroo looked like he was about to deck him. 

Seething, Kuroo stood up abruptly. He didn't know why, exactly— and he also forgot about the fact that it was obvious that his hard-on was pressing against his zipper-- _if you were looking there--s_ o he released his black tucked in dress shit so that his crotch was hidden. Other than that he did not care about anything in that moment. He was too angry. 

He was angry that his stupid friends had the _**audacity**_ to THINK... let alone **_CLAIM_ ** that he, their College’s most elibigble bachelor, would do something as pitiful and disgusting as catch feelings. And on a first date at that!!! Before he knew it, the anger propelled him to act: because Kuroo took off. Walking through the busy and bustling bar to who knows where.

His entire adult life, Kuroo Tetsuro had always been on the receiving end of people who caught feelings. But, the same cannot be said for his youth. Tetsu doesn't talk about this EVER, but when he was young, he'd made the mistake of doing _that_ (catching feelings) _**once**_ in elementary school with this senpai that he really admired. The boy ended up severely rejecting him, calling him a nerd and a dork in front of the whole volleyball team for even _thinking_ he'd like him back.. so ever since then Tetsu buried that awful memory deep, deep down and vowed to never let something like that ever happen again. He'd met Mattsun and Bo the following year, and their strong friendship helped him get over it. In middle & high school, Kuroo reached his growth spurt before the other males and put on some muscle; meaning his locker was always overflowing with love letters and confessions on Valentine’s Day and regular days--although he never responded to any of them and sometimes he even laughed when someone he wasn't attracted to handed him a letter. When he entered College, Kuroo not only got better looking but he gained status by being chosen as a first-year volleyball team captain, so he was _**never** _short on men and women alike fawning over him or wanting to please him. He was at the top of the food chain at it felt... _ **amazing**_. That guy that rejected him in high school even approached him one night wanting to take him home. That night was _**interesting,**_ to say the least...but Kuroo felt better after that ordeal. All of last year up until now The Raven felt no ways when he kicked guys out of his place after he got his nut, he never cared about not calling after he received a quick blowjob even though he said he would, and he never cared about breaking heart after heart after heart, because he had to go through it--and he turned out just fine--so what's the harm? Why would he care? Kuroo's fuckbuddies always told him they liked **_him_** and they always believed **_his_** lies about liking them back until he orgasmed, but then they came back running even when he treated them like shit afterward. Was he supposed to feel bad for that??? It's their fault for being dumb and catching feelings...not Kuroo's, because anyone smart knows that the best way to protect themselves from getting hurt is to NEVER CATCH FEELINGS in the first place. Kuroo understood this at a young age, which is why he trained himself for this. The best way to never catch feelings? Answer: Diminish every human to a number on a scale! Instead of Greg, Hui, and Raku, they were: **6/10...2.3/10... and 5/10**... _**That way,**_ they're just numbers that can be used for sexual gratification then subsequently tossed away, right? They are not *real* people with tangible feelings and emotions right?? They're numbers. That's it that's all. It was a Kuroo's #1 rule. _~~but what does that mean for those who weren't able to be scaled...? Kuroo dismissed that thought.~~_

Ever since Tetsuro realized he could fuck guys and drop them at the dime of a hat because of how attractive he was, he secretly laughed at guys like Yamamato or Kinoshita that didn't experience life like he did, because, due to his looks, Kuroo prided himself on the fact that he would never have to go through the pain of rejection. He would never have to….go through that… because he never liked anyone. Catching feelings were for the weak, and Kuroo sure as hell wasn’t……. _weak..._

He hadn’t realized where his feet were taking him until he spotted a blonde bombshell exiting the bathroom alone.

Even though he was physically in Uni Brunchette, Kuroo's mind was far away in another place, back in that hurtful moment when his childhood crush rejected him in front of the gymnasium...

##  **💭 No. There’s no way he liked someone. That isn’t him. Plus, he truly believed that this world is physical as fuck. You can’t like someone, without…. 💭**

##  **💭** **💭** **💭**

Seeing a Raven stalk toward him, a flirty and drunk Kenma’s eyes lit up in surprise. “Oh, Kuro! What are you--”

Without warning, Kuroo’s hand was on the blonde’s small waist, pulling him into a small crevice behind the bathroom hallway where no one could see them. 

Kenma almost tripped, but he regained his footing. “Kuro, what is--?” 

In a split second, the Raven’s lips were on the blondes, moving desperately right off the bat.

It was.. _good_ and then it was over, because Kenma quickly reacted, pushing the taller male off of him. He raised his knee and then forced his leg down with all his might to drop it harshly onto the taller man's left toes. Combining that with a flick to the centre of the Kuroo's forehead **with very strong gaming fingers**... Kenma crossed his arms while Kuroo cried out.

_“Itai!!!!!!”_

Kuroo yelped, bouncing up and down on his now "good" foot, clutching his crushed toes. His other hand clutched his forehead, wincing all the while. 

Even though Kenma thought Kuroo looked pretty good in pain right now which that made him joyous, **he was still fuming.**

**“You ASSHOLE!"** Kozume snapped. **"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST KISS ME?!?!? _HURTS, RIGHT?!_ YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T LET KEIJI GIVE ME THAT PEPPER SPRAY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF MAN YOU THINK YOU'RE MESSING WITH, KURO, BUT IF YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T DEFEND MYSELF OR SOMETHING--YOU COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG. NEXT TIME YOU TRY THAT SHIT I WILL COMBINE BOTH OF MY ATTACKS BY FLICKING YOU IN YOUR DICK WITH MY FOOT SO HARD THAT YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT EVEN JACKING OFF AGAIN. Don’t go around treating humans like your little toys, I'm not the one!” **Let's just say that it was a good thing that Uni Brunchette was notorious for blasting their music louder than any other bar nearby, because if they weren't... partiers everywhere would have heard a fiery-drunk Kenma chew out an adequately-wounded Kuroo just then. 

##  _OH SHIT…_

Coming to his senses after the blinding pain in his right toes and his headache, Kuroo realized what he’d done. For a second he wished this was still the virtual reality simulation he’d been in earlier..but he knew very well by this real pain that he was unfortunately in real life.

It was no excuse, but Kuroo had been _**so**_ in-his-head revisiting memories that he hasn't revisited since he was 12 that it made him act on impulse. He was so dead set on refusing to admit he liked someone (especially one that his body hasn't told him he liked yet) that he automatically & unconsciously found Kenma in a crowd to prove that what the boys were saying wasn't true. That's why he proceeded to press his lips on his date's, so that he could come to the conclusion that-- **WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM!?**

**Tetsu was HORRIFIED with himself!**

“Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kenma, I-I’m so sorry. I don't kn--I just--” 

Despite his aches and pains, Kuroo was fully prepared to get down on both knees in his expensive outfit onto the gross bar floor to beg for the blonde’s forgiveness, _but then_ something happened that not only surprised the Raven.. but confirmed everything he’d been juggling with for the past 10 minutes.

 **“Shut up.”** The gamer uncrossed his arms and reached up to grab the laxed collar of the Raven's shirt. He pulled him down to his level like he did when he had the blindfold on back at the AI facility.

Kuroo’s back ached from being yanked down so quickly, but he’d worry about that later--perhaps when the most beautiful golden eyes weren't so incredibly close to his that he could make out the measurement of the feline cut within its golden pupils. Kenma fixated his gorgeous eyes to glare into Kuroo’s, staring right into his soul. “Just shut the fuck up, Kuro.” Neither of them blinked. “You’re lucky I was going to kiss you when I got back to the table… or else you would be dead right now.” 

“Wha--?” The middle blocker tried to ask, but he was soon interrupted by Kenma crashing his lips on his own.

Kuroo immediately moaned into the kiss, reaching down and lifting Kenma so he was pressed up against the wall with his legs wrapped around Kuroo’s middle. Kuroo forgot about his pained foot, his pained back and his pained head as he instantly took custody of the kiss, asking for entry impatiently. The taller slipped his hungry tongue in as soon as Kenma opened his mouth a tiny bit more. Tetsuro groaned when he tasted his scale-breaker-- _he tasted so fucking heavenly_ \--pressing his erection to the smaller male’s dick. Kenma kissed back almost as hungrily, trying to keep up and feeling deliciously heady. Kozume was always super horny when he’s had a few drinks in him, so he allowed his tongue to be dominated, letting out a small groan when Kuroo's seemingly very long member pressed into his own. Kenma focused on kissing and the feel of Kuroo's hard-on at the same time. He shivered, thinking: _He’s this hard from getting his toes crushed?_ before pulling Tetsu closer by the back of his neck when he tried to pull away. The blonde rotated his own head so it tilted the other way, this way they could explore each other's mouth at a different delicious angle. Kuroo growled, pressing closer. _Nah, it must be from all the minor teasing I've been doing tonight, for him to be this hard..._

This heated kiss felt _extraordinarily_ good to the smaller male, since Kenma rarely-- _if ever_ \--acted upon hormonal release, often dismissing his sexual prowess for video games. So, he definitely got butterflies when his tongue met Kuroo's. 

##  _And Kenma couldn’t lie, either....no matter how much of a bastard this guy that he plans to destroy is: he was a remarkable kisser, and **this was the best kiss he has ever received...**_

On the other side...

##  _Kuroo couldn’t lie, either, no matter how much of a bastard his best friends were for making fun of him back at their table: Kuroo **liked** Kenma. _

It was official and undeniable to the Raven now... now that he has never wanted to devour someone more during a kiss.

A part of Tetsuro knew the truth before he kissed him... but his ego couldn’t admit it fully until the softest pair of lips he'd ever felt were rubbing against his own. He loved this kiss so much that for the first time it didn't even feel like a _**win**_ to make out with Kenma like it did when he hooked up with other guys. It didn't feel like a win because Kuroo knew he wanted more. Even if Kenma slept with him tonight: he wanted more than that. Kuroo Tetsuro wanted more than just one kiss and more than a one-night-stand with Kenma Kozume. 

For the first time in his life, Tetsu realized that not even a friends-with-benefits arrangement would do its job in satiating the desires he has in his dick right now. _**In his heart right now...**_

##  _Uh oh._

**!!!!AND IT’S ONLY BEEN ONE DATE!!!!**

So, _**this**_ must have been what his subconscious was warning him about when it said “ _this isn’t good_ ” upon seeing Kenma for the first time. It was in this very restaurant, and he ignored it before, but his subconscious knew it the second he saw his scale-breaker.

## This really, **really,** wasn’t good. 

_“Kenma?”_

Called Hanamaki’s voice, making the two males' exhilarating kiss stop. They both pulled apart suddenly. Kenma quickly jumped off Kuroo and straightened his clothes.

“ _Sh!_ Don't say a word and don't move.” whispered the smaller to Kuroo--which was honestly unnecessary since the man couldn't feel any part of his body. Kenma flipped them so that _**he**_ was pressing Kuroo against the wall now, Kozume wanting to make sure that they were completely hidden from view by pressing his body flat against the older gentleman's. Kuroo groaned due to the pressure on his neglected cock, so Kenma quickly reached up to clasp a hand over his mouth. "Kuro. Shut up."

“Maybe he went back to the table?” questioned Akaashi’s voice, off-camera. 

"Yeah, maybe!" 

When neither roommate was heard for another 20 seconds, Kenma peeked over the edge of the wall to be sure that the coast was clear. He seemed to visibly relax, so Kuroo surmised that Hana and Akaashi must be gone. Although, he couldn't be sure because his mind was still fuzzy due to the unbelievable kiss and the discovery of these feelings. 

“They won't stop till they find me. so I’m gonna go, but can you wait here for, like, 5 minutes as to not cause suspicion?? The guys won’t care that we kissed, but I’m afraid they’ll like-- _cry tears of joy or something._ They’re weird like that. Do you mind?” 

Kuroo nodded. _Stay here for 5 minutes...?_ The Raven needed _ **at least**_ ten minutes if he wanted to calm his raging boner and racing heart before presenting himself to the public again. Little did Kenma know that he didn't even have to ask.

“Cool.” Kenma sighed nonchalantly, _ **so nonchalantly, in fact,**_ that it hurt Kuroo a little. Kuroo’s life had just been turned upside down by the kiss they’d just shared, yet the _cause-of-his-insanity_ : Kenma Kozume, sounded and seemed as monotone as ever after it.

 _I guess he should feel that way, since it’s only the first date..._ thought the Raven bleakly. _But still…._ Kuroo wasn’t used to boys not falling all over him, not used to them not looking like they wanted to marry him after just one kiss… He should have expected his scale-breaker to be different, though.

Kuroo was painfully aware of the fact that Kenma obviously _didn't_ pop a hard-on when they kissed. This was obvious since he needed no time to calm down. He was able to leave right now with no problem. The blonde's cheeks were red, sure, _but did he enjoy that kiss as much as Kuroo did?_ The Raven was starting to think not. 

“I’ll go now. Meet you back at the table soon, kay?” Then,--as if the sole purpose of him being dropped into Kuroo's life is to befuddle the middle blocker--Kenma unexpectedly placed a hand behind the taller’s neck, stepping on his toes and reeling Kuroo in for one last short but heated kiss. He pulled away much too soon for Tetsu's liking before leaving confidently. 

Tetsu stood there, dick and heart pounding, tipsy and feeling like he was in the middle of a mystery game. Now alone, the middle blocker rested a hand over his pounding heart…...knowing he’d need **way more than 10 minutes** to calm himself down before he left this area. 

* * *

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit,_ Kenma thought, balling his hands into fists.

While it was definitely in his mission’s destruction-plan to give Kuroo a searing hot kiss tonight when he least expected it... _why did he go in for an extra kiss before he left?_

_Seriously, why did he do that???_

Sure, the VR date had fucked shit up because it was so amazing and it distracted Kenma from his task, but since arriving at the bar Kenma had been **back on track** : seducing his target perfectly and not letting him relax for a second. He was back to following the PLAN. Or that's what he tried to do... but not letting Kuroo pull away and that extra kiss before he left was initiated by the _**blonde himself**. _**NOT** exactly in the plan. 

He was supposed to leave him wanting more. 

While that may seem like a small thing to most; **Kenma was wildly disappointed in himself.** He was practically a pro-gamer after all, _**and this mission is a game.**_ Actually, this is even more serious, so what the hell is he doing going rogue, even if just for a split second?! It's unacceptable and it's exactly what Kenma bitches at teammates the most for when he's gaming!

If his plan to turn the tables on Kuroo is supposed to be treated like a real game, this would be one of those levels that Kenma **won (** 🏅) **, but** that Kenma had to **replay,** just because he knew he could get a better score. 

“Ugh,” Kenma looked over his shoulder as he left, relieved that the nook where he’d just made out with Kuroo was in-fact totallyhidden from anyone standing over here. He stared at the ground as he walked away briskly, trying to figure out why he enjoyed that kiss so much to the point where he extended it--twice. He was still thinking as he walked when he heard his name being called loudly in the energetic bar. 

_“Kenma!!!!”_

Recognizing the voice as one belonging to one of his friends-- **but not the ones he has been with all night,** Kenma’s face drained of blood. He stopped in his tracks.

“Over here!!!” 

## Fuck. 

Slowly, Kenma turned around in the middle of the restaurant, an apprehensive scowl on his face. 

## A single bright orange bob of hair bobbed up and down, prohibiting Kenma from missing it...

Seeing the orange, Kozume lowered his gaze and was greeted with an ecstatic **Hinata Shoyo** standing beside the sushi bar, **right there** \-- smiling brightly at his friend. He was decked out in his team's professional training gear, looking as if he’d just finished practice. 

_“Kenma_ 😄😄😄 _!!!_ ” 

Kozume’s stomach dropped. Keeping a monotone expression as he approached the volleyball star, the blonde was dragged into a bone-crushing hug when he was close enough. He didn't hug back but allowed himself to be hugged, like usual. Shoyo smiled and released him.

“Kenma! I didn't think i’d see you here! You hate bars! And--” Shoyo checked Kenma out dramatically. “YOU LOOK AMAZING!”

Kenma blushed, embarrassed that his friend was yelling even though they were in a bar where everyone yelled.

“Shoyo…..quit…”

“Sorry. But you just look….. GWAAA--”

“--Stop that.” 

Hinata obeyed, stopping mid-‘Hinata-diction.’ 

“You can actually get him to stop using those stupid made-up words? Wow,” an unfamiliar voice coming from a much higher altitude than the blonde and his childhood friend's was heard very closely. 

Kenma looked up, just now realizing that Hinata had company. 

A tall, brooding looking male with the same mean face that he had in high school as well as the same weird bangs (to Kenma), looked down at him. And _Kozume's eyes widened._

##  _Damn, he got hot._

^Kenma thought to himself.... looking up at Kageyama Tobio dressed in training gear just like Hinata. He was standing closer to the sushi bar, the next moment filing through a bunch of bills. He passed a thick wad to the employee (that Kenma knew as Akaashi's friend) behind the takeout food counter. 

“My made-up words are not _**stupid**_ , Baka-yama!!!! They’ll catch on one day, actually.” Hinata huffed. 

“Idiot, you've been saying that since we were _15_.” He rolled his blue eyes just like Kenma remembers seeing him do; years ago when he’d see them together at Hinata's games. Back then, Kageyama used to be so annoyed with Shoyo all the time and he'd roll his eyes like that often, but.... the blonde noticed that this time it was different.

Kozume was pretty perceptive when he wanted to be, so he could tell that Kags’ teasing today was absent of the murderous bite it used to have when he made fun of Hinata in high school. While his actual phrases were the same, the setter somehow sounded much _kinder,_ like he was afraid of actually hurting the Ginger’s feelings when he insulted him. 

It wasn't obvious, but Kenma connected the dots right away. 

Kageyama was totally into Shoyo! 

"Kenma, who picked out that awesome outfit??"

The cat ignored him. “..What are you doing here, Sho?”

“😄We just finished watching a game of the people we'll be facing this season then we got some late night training in n' I told Kageyama that this place had the best Yakitori in the city. Way better than going to some fancy sit-down place that his friend's told him about. I called ahead for a pick up order, since _as you know this place gives me PTSD_...” the orange-haired laughed, but it didn't reach his eyes. 

##  _PTSD...? What is he...? And why won't he let this guy that clearly likes him take him to that restaurant..? Chances are it'd be way better than the food here--OH._

And just like that, Kenma’s mind displayed a major motion picture for him, live and in stereo in his head. It was a memory from few weeks ago when he and Hinata were sifting through the aisles at the liquor store:

**Play The Flashback:**

##  _💬🌫_

_“Well there’s this guy.........” Says the younger male, speaking through a pout and using his feet to sheepishly scoff at the marks on the store floor._

_“Yeah.............” Kozume chuckled and pushed the cart with him to the next aisle. Hinata followed closely behind, a little taller than the cat eyed boy now._

_“His name is Kageyama, I used to know him back in high school.... I don’t know if you remember—“_

_Kenma nodded. “_ **_I remember,_ ** _the one who always carried the milk.”_

 _“_ **_Yeah!!!_ ** _You have a great memory, Kenma!”_

_Kenma turned down the next aisle to look for wine._

_“We parted ways after graduation, he got some scholarship somewhere far from here and I got mine here, but now his professional team is moving close to here..... so that means he’s moving back ,and..._ **_and_ ** _he asked me to go watch a big tournament with him to scout our competition, which is normal, we always do that when he’s in town. But this time—_ **_well he said.......”_ **

_Interest peaking but refusing to show it as to not falter his friends confidence, Kozume only urges the red-head on._

_“He said........?”_

_Hinata got all blushy again. He faced the racks of wines and hid his face with the Pinot Noir’s. “Uhhhh..... H-he said......_ **_well,_ ** _asked if he could take me... on a date... to..t-to dinner........after. At some super romantic restaurant, I forget the name.”_

_Honestly not expecting that, Kenma’s eyes lit up. “Really? But he’s like, super awkward right? Yet he still asked you on a date? That’s awesome.”_

_“Yeah? You think?_ **_Well: I told him I’d pass....”_ **

_“What! But didn’t you have a little thing for him back in high scho—“_

_Groaning, Shoyo forgot how close he was standing to the wines when he flailed his arms to the ceiling and knocked over a bottle. Lucky that Hinata has super human fast reflexes, the ginger was able to scramble and catch it just before it shattered on the ground._

_“You’re a mess,” Kozume deadpanned._

_Carefully placing the bottle back, Hinata moved away from the wines, closer to the other side of the aisle where the plastic mixers were._

_“I didn’t just have a thing for him, Kenma! I was in love with Kageyama back then,” Hinata whispered._

_“Why are you whispering?” Kozume selected one bottle of white, then one bottle of red, placing it in his cart._

_“_ **_Because!_ ** _He is moving here now! Anyone he may know could be in here!” Hinata looked around._

 _Kenma nodded, ignoring his friend’s foolish behaviour.. “Alright,_ **_well,_ ** _if you were in love with him, and he’s moving back to town, why deny his date offer?”_

_Hinata sighed, defeated._

_“Well....b-because he’s t-tall—even taller than he was in high school, he has broad shoulders, brilliant blue eyes, no acne whatsoever........ so......_ **_y’know?”_ **

_The blonde deadpanned again, making his way to the cash with Shōyo in tow. “No. I really don’t know. Last I checked you_ **_like_ ** _guys that are tall with nice shoulders and have blue eyes?”_

 **_“Kenmaaaaaa......”_ ** _Whined the athlete in exasperation. “You’re really gonna make me say it?”_

_“Just say it, Shōyo. I have no clue what you’re talking about.” The two of them started placing the items on the belt. “Why did you reject him?”_

_Hinata did that groaning, hands-up thing again but luckily he didn’t make anything drop this time._

_“Ugh! He’s out of my league, Kenma! Guys like that always are! I’ll only set myself up for disappointment!”_

_Hesitating before placing down the final beer case, Kenma frowned even deeper than he usually does._

_He didn’t like to hear his friend say that one bit. And even though Kozume knew Shōyo to be insecure sometimes it was very,_ **_very_ ** _rare. He was a confident guy, even when it came to romance— but Kozume noticed that things changed slightly with Hinata after........_

 _“Hey. Does this have anything to do with what happened with that guy you met at that bar...?”_ _💬🌫_

**\---------- End of Flashback: \----------**

“Kenma-- **whoa,** **_You okay!?_ ** How much did you drink? You look like you’re going to be sick!” Hinata pressed his hand to the blonde’s forehead to check his temperature.

He nodded spacily, mind working in overdrive because of that flashback. He could see himself in the aisle, studying Shoyo's face while asking if his lack of confidence in going on a date with Kageyama is because of the asshole that made him feel like trash. The asshole that left him curb-side after they fucked in his car.

The same asshole he'd **just made out with a few feet away!**

The same asshole that his roommates didn't know screwed over Hinata **and ruined Kags’ chances with him too.**

The same asshole that Hinata didn't know Kenma even knew.

The same asshole that didn't know Kenma even knew Hinata.

No one except Kenma knew everything about _**said**_ asshole… nor did anyone else know about his diabolical plan to **destroy** said asshole (a **nd s aid PLAN only work if he kept it that way)** **!**

And if that wasn't bad enough....

## 🚨 _ **Said** asshole was about to exit the washrooms looking for Kenma any minute now!!!!_🚨 

“Here. I got him some water.” Kageyama said, handing Shoyo the glass he’d asked Akaashi's friend for to Hinata. Hinata thanked Tobio and lifted the cup to his friend’s lips-- _the lips that were JUST kissing the person that single-handedly crushed the Ginger's self esteem_ \--forcing Kenma to take a sip. He did, even though he didn't need it.

“You okay, Kenma??” Sho asked, concern written all over his face. 

The blonded nodded. “Mhm. Just had one too many shots. Gonna go home soon. Thank you.” 

“Who are you here with--? Do you need a drive home?"

Kenma shook his head. "No I'm with--"

"Oh! Your roommates that I was supposed to meet??”

“Yeah, I--” 

“We’ll walk you over to them.” Kageyama offered kindly, picking up on the amount of creeps in the bar that were checking out the two shorter males. 

**“NO!”** yelled Ken, startling the previous quick attack duo. “I-I--mean, I--” 

_“Kenma?”_

^The blonde was interrupted by another deep voice coming from above, a voice that wasn’t Kags's this time. 

**Shit.**

The gamer looked up in the direction of the voice, cat-eyes drifting towards Uni Brunchette’s front doors. He saw another familiar face approaching him. _Is this the only place in the fucking city or what?!_

At least Kenma pretty much welcomed _ **this** _newcomer, unlike Sho. This man held a large box of chocolates in his arms instead. 

“Hirugami-san,” Kozume breathed, moving so that he can see the bathroom **_and_** the individuals in front of him. 

Hana’s fiancé smiled warmly, closing the distance and giving Kenma a welcomed side hug. Kozume hugged him back. “Sachi, what are you doing here? Makki said you weren't supposed to be back until next month.” _Hana hadn’t mentioned that he was seeing Hirugami tonight…_

“Yup, he's right, sorry! I came to surprise my baby. Haven’t seen him since your party and my boss gave me some time off, so, I’m here hoping to take Hiro off yours hands this weekend... if that's okay with you and Kaashi, of course..." Hirugami looked around as he spoke, understandably excited. "I pulled some strings and rented us a cabin, so I’m going to treat him to a relaxing weekend before I have to leave again--”

Kozume's heart warmed thinking about how happy this romantic surprise will make his best friend. _Hana had it made, for sure._ “He will love that.....” Kozume was almost lost until he witnessed a stranger exit the washrooms. A stranger that could very well be Kuroo next! He remembered he had to act quickly. “Well. he’s somewhere in here with Akaashi, either at the bar or at the table in the back left corner,” Kenma pointed quickly. 

“Kenma! Why don’t you introduce us to your friends!!” Hinata whined loudly. “Hello, I’m--”

Kozume uncharacteristically raised his voice again, trying to keep his two worlds separate from each other as to not implode his plan!

“YA! _HOME FRIEND:_ MEET ROOMMATE'S FIANCE. _ROOMMATE 'S FIANCE:_ MEET HOME FRIEND. GREAT. NOW THAT THAT’S ALL SORTED, HIRUGAMI DOESN’T HAVE ALL DAY SINCE HIS BOSS ONLY GAVE HIM A FEW DAYS OFF.” 

Hirugami smiled warmly at the two men and shook each of their hands, while Kags and Hinata exchanged odd glances with each other over the blonde's weird behaviour. Sachirou looked over the heads in the crowd, being that he was tall like Kags and able to see the whole place practically.

“Huh. I don’t see Hana or Akaashi sitting over there….but, **_hey,_** isn't that your guys’ new neighbour walking towards us? _The one with all the tattoos..?_ ” 

“WHAT?! COMING HERE?!” Panicking because he needed to keep his two worlds apart, the blonde glanced over (and struggled, due to his height) to indeed see Mattsun heading this way. However, the brunette didn't look like he was coming exactly here, rather his attention was further away. Kags could see him too, but he didn’t know who that was. 

**Oh, this level was getting to be much harder than he thought it would be.** **🎮**

Biting his lower lip, Kenma hummed gratefully when he realized where Issei was going.

KUROO WOULD BE EXITING THE SAME PLACE ANY SECOND NOW. 

“Mattsun: yes. He’s probably heading to the bathroom, that’s him. SOOO I’m guessing that if Hana’s not with **him** , then he’s at the bar with Keiji, like I said, **so check there…”** Knowing him well enough to do so, the blonde pushed his friend’s fiancé away from here. He didn't budge, unfortunately.

Sachirou slowly repeated the words Kenma had just said. _“If he’s not with…?”_ staring at Mattsun, Hirugami frowned. He obviously took what Kenma inadvertently said there to heart. The blonde couldn’t give two shits at this point that he may have given off the wrong impression because he just needed Sachi gone.

Sachirou’s eyes never left the unsuspecting Matsukawa as he got closer. When he was just a few people away, Sachirou straightened his shoulders, saying, “Hey, Ken, if you see Hana.. don’t tell him I’m here yet, will you? I want to talk to your new neighbour first… before I surprise _**my** _baby.”

The blonde was too distracted to register the **sweet** to **possessive** demeanour-change in Hana's significant other. “Yeah, whatever, cool, bye.” 

Hirugami was already stepping away from the three men when Kenma answered, but the blonde helped him anyway: shoving him further. 

##  _Phew._

When Kozume's attention could finally fully return to getting the quick-attack-duo out of here, he was presented with Hinata telling Kags something in secret. The volleyball players stared at Kenma as if he was a twist in a movie. He also noticed the new bag of takeout in Kags hand. _Good._ _Can they go now?!_

“What?” Kozume snapped. 

Hinata smiled. “So _thaaaat’s_ why you’re acting so weird! I thought it had something to do with _us._ ” The Ginger pointed to Kenma’s really nice outfit and his blush.

“ _You’re on a date, aren’t you, Ken?_ 😉 You don’t want anyone to interrupt it...” 

##  _Oh shit._

Kozume knew this feeling. He felt just like he was gaming right now, only it was a game where all of the enemy worked together and decided to attack the best player, him, at the same time. he felt as though he was about to lose.

“I--uh…” Kozume raked his still-intoxicated brain for something to say, but came up with nothing. To make matter matters worse, he witnessed Kuroo, exiting the washroom after almost 20-minutes. 

##  _Oh my God..._

_THIS IS IT,_ he wailed internally, _How was he going to get himself out of this one?!_

“Where is the lucky guy, huh?" Hinata beamed. "You **never** date, wow, so this guy must be really special. Can we wait a bit, Tob? I r ** _eally_** want to meet him!” 

Kozume could practically _hear_ all of the Game coins he'd accumulated today being drained from his account. The beautiful blonde groaned.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. EPISODE 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! First of all, **TYSM FOR OVER 5K HITS & 300+ KUDOS!!!**
> 
> As a recreational writer, it's the best feeling in the WORLD to know that something I enjoy doing is also enjoyable for others. 
> 
> That being said, sorry if it seems like I took a while to update. The fact of the matter is that I obviously post **VERY** long updates (the last marathon I posted was over 30K words long!), so there must be some give and take there. Would y'all rather I posted more frequently, but with shorter episodes? **Lmk!**
> 
> Either way, thank you for being so patient with me and for reading my fic. You're all absolute gems. As y'all know I'm still a grad student so its very difficult to find free time to write.... but even though I wanted to wait and post another marathon since I wrote more than this, this update will only include THIS episode and it's around 8K words long!
> 
> _This Chapter is what one would call: the calm before the storm_
> 
> **Happy reading xoxo**

**In Kuroo’s Voice:**

**“ Previously, on**

**Fuckboys, You Might Wanna Sit Down For This: "**

Mattsun with A Romantic HanaHiru

_“Oh, sorry neighbour. You’ve met Hirugami, right?”_

_“I haven’t met him, actually, Not officially, at least. Hirugami...........?”_

_“Hirugami Sachirou,” Hanamaki answered, placing a hand on said taller male’s chest. Issei was going to begin his easy smooth talk to get Hiro to trade those arms for his, but he was interrupted by that smug voice of Tokyo’s very own Yogi Bear._

_“Hirugami Sachirou, nice to meet you.” He clarified with that fucking smirk still on his face. He turned his head while leaning it on Makki’s shoulder. His eyes were positively graced as he peered up at Mattsun. “Otherwise known as Hana’s boyfriend.”_

_“Hey!!” Hiro screamed, hitting the taller male hard on his chest. The bear yelped in agony, because obviously the Pinkie was strong. “Stop telling people that. **You’re not my boyfriend,** Hirugami!!” _

_Mattsun let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in._

_“Right, right, ouch, sorry, Hana.” Sanchirou stated, turning a little red from embarrassment and also maybe the pain of the blast. “Not boyfriend. I’m not your boyfriend, sorry.... I_ _meant to say fiancé.”_

_Hirugami stated, smiling with all of his pearly whites. He watched Issei’s face with unparalleled pleasure as he repeated himself:_

_“I meant to say: my name is Hirugami Sachirou, otherwise known as Hana’s **..........fiancé.”**_

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 7**

* * *

The Audience sees the kuckles on a veiny, strong hand knock twice on a door, lingering there. The door has a name gold plate that reads “Department CEO” in the centre.

Voices are off-camera. 

**“Sorry to bother you, Sir,… but I’m taking off.”**

‘Mm,?”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you were doing something! I said: sir, I’m taking off.”

“Are you asking me or are you _telling_ me?”

“Uh.... Well ne-neither, sir, after the meeting on Tuesday you said I could have next week off s-since you needed me to come into work during my last two holidays,”

“Mmm.” There was a moment of silence. “Must have slipped my mind, then. Very well. Have Denise know to send in the Temp.”

“Already done, Shachou. Of course.”

The knuckles on the door slide down, letting the door fall in their departure.

“Oh, and one more thing,”

The hand immediately returned, splaying out just under the name plate. It caught the door before it closed.

“Yes, sir?”

“Be back soon, got it? I need you around here.”

“Sure. Yes, of course. Thank you. Goodnight, sir.”

This time the door officially closed.

As soon as the door is closed, the hand fell to someone’s pant-side. The camera slid up, revealing a tall and masculine figure, sliding up until it met the kind, gentle brown eyes of Hirugami Sachirou. The man takes a moment to stand there and let out a sigh of relief. He almost closes his eyes, but a sudden excited voice interrupts him from doing just that. The wavy-haired brunette collects himself, snapping back to reality and subsequently stepping away from his boss’s door and toward the voice.

“Hiru-Buchou!!” Yelled Sachirou’s assistant, bouncing to his side as they march through the hallways in typical busy-office-strut style. Hirugami’s assistant is a friendly, young, average-looking Japanese man named Liam Tokura, a new hire delegated to following Hirugami and helping him with anything he needs to complete his tasks. He only started one week ago and he was still a 3rd year in University, currently doing his co-op placement at the firm Hiru works at. Initially, Sachirou was never supposed to have ana assistant, but what with the immense amount of work the boss has been putting on him lately (since he is the only one he trusts) the boss made sure that Hiru had some help.

There are rows and rows of cubicles to the left and right of them as they walk, people briskly passing them with briefcases, headsets, stacks of papers and coffee mugs. It is a typical Friday afternoon in the business sector of Nagoya, Japan.

“Did boss man actually approve your time off—oh, I’m guessing that smirk means he said yes?! What will you do in your spare time!? Study for vet school?!”

The wavy haired man looked elsewhere, shaking his head. “Uh, no. Not this time.”

“Oooo so what are you doing!”

A private man through and through, Sachirou rubbed his palm on the nape of his neck. “Uh…..well- you know…”

“YO, Gami-kun!” Hirugami and his assistant looked over when another voice yelled over the already noisy buzz of the office. “Gami-kun!”

Slowing their fast pace to a dawdle, the two men in work attire move to the side of the busy hall in order to not be in the way when they squint over at one of the cubicles. Just as Hiru expected, rows away between the dozens and dozens of businessmen and women actually working, his over-2-meter-tall coworker and high school friend, Gao Hakuba, towered over his desk wall _(how does he even fit in his chair!?_ ) with both his hands cupping over his mouth. Gao calls for him again. 

Even though no one bat an eye at the loud voice yelling his embarrassing nickname, Hirugami _tsk_ -ed anyway. Bowing his head and grumbling an “ _Oh no,_ ” the engaged man quickly continued marching in the opposite direction of the man calling him, heading toward his own workspace as planned. His assistant tried his best to quickly follow after bowing to Gao in apology.

“Gami-kunnnnnnnn!”

Realizing that he is being actively ignored, Gao takes off his work headset and clumsily jumps out of his cube to follow as well. It wouldn’t matter though, because he’s literally on the opposite end of the office and therefore too far to catch up. Especially at the pace Hirugami is walking because he is excited to leave and start is time-off.

“Gao-kun is calling you, Buchou,” cheered Hiro’s assistant, almost jogging to match his boss’s pace again.

“I heard him.” Sachi barked. “Please ignore. Always ignore.”

“Heh, you’re using your serious voice. So I’m guessing that that is a demand then, boss?”

Sachirou nodded. “Without a doubt.” He sped up his pace, not wanting his giant coworker to catch up to them.

“—not that way.” Hirugami gripped his assistant’s sleeve when he was about to make a normative right turn at the fork, which is the fastest way to get to Hirugami’s office. Wanting to avoid someone instead, Hirugami pulled his assistant with him to go down the hallway on the left.

“Oh, sorry.“ Liam nodded nervously—confused. Nevertheless he let himself be pulled in a direction he was unfamiliar with.

 ** _“Shit!”_** Gami yelled so loudly that some of the office patrons that happened to be nearby jumped back too. Hirugami clutched his heart because standing right there in the middle of the left hallway was Gao, blocking Hirugami’s path like a human pylon. **A giant, 203cm human pylon.**

“HOW DID YOU—?!?!” Hirugami yelled, surprised as ever. He whipped behind him to look at where his coworker **_should_** have been: all the way on the opposite end of the floor-long office space! 😱 How did he get here so fast?!!!!!! And how did he know they would use this HALLWAY!?

Gao only smirked, staring down at his friend and his friend’s assistant as if he’d just made a magic entrance like a wizard.

Hirugami and Liam stared back at him like he had two heads.

Gao just nodded in hello. “Yo. Is Hana coming to pick you up today?”

Hirugami sighed, loudly, finally bending at the knee to pick up the remaining papers belonging to someone he startled with his shout. The person thanked Hirugami, who apologized again and guided them on their way. 

“Who’s Hana?” Liam inquired curiously when Hiru bent down.

Rolling his eyes, Sachirou gave his pylon friend a glare before walking around him to get to his office.

“Hiru-Buchou, who is Hana?” repeated his assistant, avoiding bumping into people while trying to fall into step with Hirugami again.

“No one is Hana.” answered Hirugami seriously. Then, he corrected his bad grammar. “—I mean, Hana is no one.”

Gao jogged into step with the two gentlemen as well, taking the spot on Hirugami’s right side. He peered down at Liam. “ _Wait,_ you’re his new assistant and you don’t know who Hana is?! Do you live in a bubble?! Have you seen his desk?!”

“I took those down.” Hiru grumbled while looking down at his phone, trying to seem busy so he’d be left alone. Sachi wished he could teleport as fast as his 203cm friend could, because with that power he would be in his car already. He only took out his phone for show but he did end up staring a bit too long at his phone background: a picture of the man in question. 

“Yo, yo, yo, Akichi! Izuru! Kanabay-kun! Guess what?” As they walked, Gao hollered at a group of young working men that were incoming traffic. “—Hana’s coming to pick up Gami-kun today.”

 _“WAIT,_ did you say Hana?!” Asked one of them.

Hirugami fought back a smirk when he saw a few more of his coworkers/friends stop talking about sales and start talking about something they found much more interesting. The sound of their voices perking up at the mere mention of the person that is his phone's background fed Sachirou's haughtiness.

“Wait, that one from the—“ Asked another.

“Yup!”

“OH, Sweet!”

Soon, there was a small crowd of Gami’s work friends now talking about the brunette’s Pinkie. Great.

“Don’t you all have work you should be doing!?” Hiru snapped, a little for show. 

“Buchu, I don’t recall seeing a ‘Hana’ when I marked down your contact list last week….” Whispered Liam in surprise. He was flipping through his notepad and it was clear that he thought he did something wrong.

“That’s cause Gami-kun is a sick bastard that lives for the element of surprise. Don't you, Gami-kun!? Either that or he’s probably listed under some mushy alias.”

Hirugami rolled his eyes as another “Hana’s coming!!?” Could be heard from another cubicle far away.

Hiru addressed it, his ego spiking. “Do you all mind keeping it down, because I don’t want an incident like last time—“

 ** _“I’m walking you to Hana’s car! What time is he coming?”_** Gao prodded his friend for information annoyingly, straightening his tie and smoothing his black hair all the while. “Oh man I should have worn my good slacks today….”

They all shuffled into Sachi’s office, Sachirou beginning to collect everything he would need for a week off in case he had to do something at home. He “pretended” to ignore the murmur of his joyous coworkers, but of course he overheard everything.

“May I know why everyone is so excited about Hana? Um, as your assistant, maybe it’s important that I'm clued in….”

Gao placed a heavy arm around the confused assistant’s shoulders. “Listen. **Hana-** maki is Hirugami’s fiancé. Before you were hired, Gami-kun here used to have pictures of him all over his office. We all kept coming in to looking at the pictures, though, so he probably got embarrassed and took them down.”

Liam looked over in astonishment, never pegging his new boss for the romantic type. Hirugami rolled his eyes, sifting through his drawers for relevant notes that he needed while out-of-office then stuffed them in to his bag.

“Really? Your fiancee, I'm guessing she must be really pretty then—“

Gao snorted. **“Pretty? Yes.** ** _She?_ No.”**

Hirugami nodded, still intending to ignore everyone but that correction being second nature.

“Oh, sorry! He.” Liam repeated Gao, even more in awe because he hadn’t pegged his new boss as the gay-type, either. “ _He_ must be really pretty if… if _this_ happens when he comes to get you,” he gestured toward the 203cm pylon wagging his inexistent tail.

Hirugami bit his tongue.

“Hell yeah! Gotta say hi to Hana, but not just because of that.” Gao cheered, smiling brightly. “He’s like the funniest guy you'll ever meet.” 

“Really?” Asked Liam.

“Really. Whenever he comes to visit he has us all cracking up like crazy. That’s why we all love when he comes around. And get this:” Gao leaned in closer to the assistant. “Your boss here; his fiancé is an **absolute** babe. Hot as fuck.”

“Hmm” Hirugami commented darkly, however his haughtiness spiked some more.

“Really?” Liam tilted his head.

“Really. Gami-kun here brought him to the last two Christmas parties, and…….. whew.”

“Whew…?”

The pylon man nodded as if everyone should understand him. “ _Whew._ No idea how this guy got him, tbh.”

“Yeah--well, fuck you too, Gao.” Unoffended but pretending to be, Hirugami scoffed as he sat down to send parting emails.

Gao continued his lay of the land to Hiro’s assistant. “It's gets better. We had a work barbecue over the summer too. Hana decided to bring his 2 best friends with him that time, and……. **WHEW** WITH A CAPITAL “W.”

“Capital double…?”

Another nod form the giant pylon. “Capital Double U. They’re just as hot as Takahiro. And while I find Hana hilarious, it was even funnier to watch the head of the all our firm choke on his food when Hiru here introduced those 3 to him. Poor guy basically offered them a job with my salary, not even knowing that they hadn’t done College yet.” Gao laughed voraciously. “Hey, you're still in College right? Lucky. — Enjoy it cause, I miss College guys... they are so hot, man. And they're not depressed by the working world yet. I wish I didn’t graduate early because I know if I was just a few years younger again and I lived on the same campus as those 3, I’d…”

“ _Watch it….”_ Sachi growled, his eyes never leaving his desktop screen. He typed quickly. “Leave my boyfriend and his friend’s out of your sick fantasies...”

The giant man laughed even louder, happy that he'd gotten a reaction out of his coworker as he intended. “I mean, no promises, because I follow him and his friends on Instagram, and when they posted beach selfies, I—“

Hirugami threw a notepad at his large friends head.

“AWWW don’t be like that, Gami-kun, _**I know**_ you secretly get a big head when guys talk about Hana. You know at the end of the day that I’m jealous. Plus, you said that you'd invite me to the wedding, remember?!”

“Yeah. Rethinking that.” He muttered.

“Besides, I’ve known you since the day you started working here when your freaky ass got the boss wrapped around your finger within a month. You don’t care when guys talk about your man. Or at least you never do anything about it,”

 _Really? Why? How can he make himself not care? Wow, I wish I could be more like Hiru-Buchou….It would have saved me a lot of trouble...._ Thought the assistant.

Sachirou stopped his typing to look up at his coworkers. It looked like he wanted to say something, but then he just settled on winking, choosing to remain quiet.

The pylon groaned. “You smug son of a bitch." Gao bent his neck in order to speak to the assistant again. "You see that? That's how he always acts. When he brought Hana to the first work event, no one even knew they were **together** -together until Hirugami won an award and they kissed. Was I surprised that Mr. Nervous here could pull a guy like Hana? Hell yes. But—beyond happy. He gives hope to all of us decently attractive guys! Tells me that maybe I can snag a boyfriend that good looking too. Either that or him getting Hana was a fluke…” 

“Revoking your wedding invitation in 5…..4…..” Hirugami pressed send on another email.

“Hana is way funnier than him, Hiru can't make me laugh to save his life, but...”

“3…..2…..”

“But did I give up on him when he was surprised Hana wanted to go on a date with him??? Of course not! I tried to tell him that he wasn’t giving himself enough credit! I told him that he’s obviously an attractive guy himself…." Gao halted mid-sentence, making a face. _"But then I met Hana a few weeks later and I was like: ……… yeah, on second thought;_ ** _you definitely gave yourself enough credit back then.”_**

Sachirou deadpanned. “Didn't you already take your work break today??”

“Gao-kun, Hiru-buchu, if I may; how come I’ve never heard of your fiancé before?”

“Dunno man. That’s weird that he hasn’t even mentioned him because—let me tell you. Your boss here is in looooove love. When Hana lived here they were together 24/7, Hana would stop by with lunch for him all the time. But as soon as he mentioned that he was going to Tokyo for Uni, we never saw him anymore. He’s a freshman at TU now. Despite that, even after years and some change of being together Hiru is always talking to Hana during his lunch breaks, on his way to and from work, smiling at his phone, the whole nine _**cheesy**_ yards—“

“1………” Hirugami warned.

“ALL I’M SAYING is that your boss here needs to show some emotion. He doesn't let it out for _**anyone**_. If I was Gami-kun, I would never be quiet about not letting my hot ass boyfriend live on a College campus far away n’ without me. He knows first-hand how horny College guys are and I don’t need to repeat what Hana looks like. How do you properly scare his admirers off when youre 4 hours away!? He probably has the best looking guys in that school throwing themselves at him! So…”

As Gao went on and on, Liam tuned out for a second to steal a glance at his boss who was completing his emails. He saw not even a trace of worry or fear in the boss’s face at this conversation, if anything he appeared self-satisfied. Liam couldn't read him in the slightest. His emotions seemed unmovable. Liam understood privacy,he did—but he still found it a little odd that even though everyone in the office knew about his fiancé; Hirugami didn't deem it important to tell his own assistant that.

_ Why is that? _

“…He lets Hana post the pictures he does, and I tell Gami here he needs to be more strict with a boyfriend like that. What do you think, assistant-kun?”

“Uh, it’s Liam or Tokura, actually. And well….it’s not really my place to comment on Hiru-Buchou’s personal life if it’s not in my contract……" He gulped, wanting answers. "But…..If I may…..”

“Oh, you may,” answered Gao with a smile; Giving permission as if he was the higher up in here.

Hirugami rolled his eyes, carefully taking out the box of Belgian chocolates he ordered that he knows Hiro will die for. He is basically ready to leave now, checking the watch on his wrist then removing the keys out of his pocket. The highways wouldn’t be too bad on a Friday night, at least on the route he planned to take--therefore he waited because he actually wanted to hear what his new assistant had to say.

Despite Sachirou keeping his private life private at all times, he also knew that his assistant was in-fact married and had gone through long distance in College but that he and his husband have been smooth sailing for 2-years now. There was no way he was going to indulge Gao in his foolishness and Hiru loved seeing the look of disappointment on the human pylon’s face whenever someone tells him he is wrong. Sachi’s smirk already started teasing at the edges of his lips.

Liam looked down at the floor sheepishly before he spoke. “…Well, I would be, like, a little worried…”

Sachi’s teasing smirk dropped.

“…Um… if your husband is super handsome, I mean; objectively… wouldn’t it make you nervous that any day now he could find someone more suited to him that yourself?” Then, as if he forgot he was talking to his boss, his entire body turned red. “W-wait, n-not that he would!! It’s just, when two people live such different lives or are at such different stages, then they tend to gravitate to those that are in similar positions as them, and if those people they gravitate towards are interested in them, back; then, that could make those in long-distance more prone to wanting an easier life, right? Um.. hypothetically speaking, of course.”

Hirugami got ready to say something, dead set on setting his coworkers straight, but the familiar need to open his mouth and defend his relationship **shattered like it always did** , however—because Hirugami’s phone flashed with an incoming text from his boyfriend. The visual of Takahiro’s cute face met his screen because Hiro had sent him a picture of him and Akaashi pointing at an unsuspecting Kenma, who was surprisingly getting ready for a date tonight. Sachi’s entire heart swelled when he saw the happy expression on the face he thinks about nonstop, words being lost on him because he’s so freaking in love with that pink haired man in the photo. Even if Hana did not text him just now, words would still be lost on him from the simple thought of that smile.

The truth is...

This happens to Hirugami Sachirou often; overhearing others openly admire his fiancé or judge his relationship. He’s heard the same questions more time than he can count, the “wait, that’s your boyfriend?” And the “your boyfriend is getting hit on over there, aren’t you going to do something?” And the “how are you not jealous with everyone laughing with your boyfriend?” And Hiru always wants to say something; wanting to set the record straight with explanations upon explanations, telling others why their relationship is so unconventional but nevertheless strong... Every single time he mentally prepares himself to tell them like other boyfriends do; but then Hirugami so much as **_thinks_** about the smile his fiancé gives him... the one that is only reserved for him and him only... and it--without fail-- makes Gami realize that he doesn’t **need** to say a word to anyone about his sure-fire love with Hanamaki Takahiro. He doesn’t have to tell them that Hana loves him and only him, nor does he have to explain his situation because feelings like his can’t be explained. If his man seems flirty, that’s just how he is—he is a grown ass man that need not be controlled, not to mention Hiro has ** _never_ **been anything but loyal and trustworthy in practice. To others they believe who they would be sensationally insecure if they were in Hirugami’s shoes; what with a younger, hotter, more charismatic boyfriend that lives far away; Hirugami knew better after 2 years. He remained haughty because he had all the right to be. Whenever Sachirou looks into Takahiro’s eyes, he gets all all the confirmation that he needs...and **it wasnt his responsibility to convince anyone else of that**. Other than a simple, “that’s my boyfriend/fiance” Hiru was content with being in a perfectly healthy relationship in silence because he knew that Hana was his and his forever. And because he knew that, and Hana knew that,

##  **he never needed to tell anyone else that.**

“Gami-kun, do you have anything to say?

Snapping back to the conversation, Hiru quickly stood up, embarrassed that he'd tuned out like that. "No, not necessarily."

Liam's brows drew together. Gao sighed. "See. Silence, as usual." 

Hirugami chuckled then kindly ushered the both of them out of his office and fiddled for his keys to lock the door.

His two office mates, not having anything better to do, waited for him to find his keys. They continued speaking, but Sachi’s mind was already in Tokyo with the love of his life, thinking about the warmth of Hana’s hugs.

“Sorry if I overstepped, sir.” Liam uttered weakly. 

“You know Gami-kun, this was really a great talk! Also, do you mind if I ask Hana if his friends are still single? If those were my roommates I’d probably accidentally fall in love or something..“

“He’s not picking me up, Gao. I’m surprising him, so you won’t see him.”

“You’re driving 4 hours tonight?! Awwwww mannnnnn I wish I had a boyfriend that simped for me like that,”

“You will one day, Gao. I’m sure of it. But in the meantime both of you should get back to work now. I’ll see you when I return next week.”

* * *

On the drive to Tokyo, Sachirou kept glancing at the box of chocolates sitting in the passenger seat, smiling to himself because he was thinking about a Pinkie’s reaction when he sees him tonight. He had gone home to grab his luggage and wait for until rush hour had died down to leave, so he would get in around 11pm. He received one last email from the Temp that will be taking over his position while he is away, asking for an overview. Sachirou has never met him because he works in another office, but he knows his name is Hoshiumi-san, and that seems like a hardworking individual. Before Hiru finally left he also finalized the Chalet plans that he will be taking Hana to on a romantic getaway on the countryside. He made sure there would be a jacuzzi in their room as well as a lot of Champagne because Sachirou knew it would all make his fiancé so happy.

Because of the snapchats tonight, Hiru was well aware that Hana was at Uni Brunchette tonight with Akaashi, celebrating Kenma’s first date in.... _months? Years?_ Sachi doesn’t know but what he _**does**_ know is that he can’t wait to surprise his baby. Just the look on Hana’s handsome is enough to have him smirking to himself like a lovesick fool the entire time he drove down the red and white headlight-lit highway.

Sachirou thought a little about the conversation he had in the office 3 hours ago, and he actually laughed to himself when it replayed in his mind. He knew very well that his pylon friend might have been upping the ante to get a rise out of him...

 _But when would Gao learn that any attempt to get him to worry about his relationship will never succeed?_ Many a men have tried, and every single one has failed. It won't happen; he won't feel insecure and he won't explain his relationship to anyone.

He knew there was a big difference between the way Hiru looked at him versus everyone else, so there was no need for him to worry really.In his heart, Hiru knew what kind of man he proposed to. He knew that they had something incredibly special. He also knew that Makki knew that, too.

##  **So** **then** **why, did it trigger him--when, hours later in Uni Brunchette—Kenma said:**

_“Mattsun: yes. that’s him. SOOO I’m guessing that if Hana’s not with **him** , then he’s at the bar with Keiji **…”** _

Now in Uni Brunchette, Sachirou watched the tatted man known as Mattsun walk toward the bathroom stalls. 

_If he’s not with…?”_ Hirugami frowned. His own tone of voice sounded unfamiliarly off, even to himself, and he didn't know why it sounded like that. 

With a Caught-Off-Guard Matsukawa

On his way to the bathroom, Mattsun was politely asked for a private conversation by the last person he expected wanted to chat.

"Uh, sure."

Confused, he followed the non-tatted gentleman onto the patio, away from the bathrooms, their usual table, and most partiers—however, the music was still pretty loud where they were.

Besides them being relatively the same height, the two men looked like utter opposites in this bar. Mattsun; adorned in two attractive half-sleeve tattoos, dressed in a fitting t-shirt and dark washed jeans, sporting a bored expression even though he wasn’t, leaned back on the pink wall of the bar coolly. Then there was Hirugami; attractive pale arms, dressed in what he wore to work with sacramento green slacks, sporting a very attentive expression because he truly wanted to talk, _not_ leaning back on the pink wallof the bar in an attempt to avoid damaging his suit.

Hirugami had started the conversation very business-like, initially grabbing Issei for a chat that will “only take a minute because he needs to surprise Hana,” then proceeding to ask about Issei’s studies, volleyball and frankly irrelevant facts about himself for five minutes. While Issei acknowledged (and even commended) the valiant effort to befriend a dude that practically admitted to wanting to fuck his fiancé…. Unfortunately, no matter how valiant the effort; none of it seemed to help cut the tension in the air sitting between them.

Luckily, about half-way through the most awkward Q&A of Issei's life, a cute guy approached the two gentlemen and confidently asked Issei for his number. Issei cheekily flirted back, telling him that he’d find him if he doesn’t want to go home alone tonight, before returning to the conversation at hand.

It was Issei openly demonstrating that he is a flirt.... Now _**THAT**_ is what cut the tension in the air. 

After being asked about his parents, which was weird—plus, he was still drunk, Issei just decided to force Hirugami drop the act. It actually reminded Hirugami a lot of how Takahiro acts.

“Hey, look, dude, as much as I’d love to tell you about my parents and their crappy marriage, you know; if the reason you pulled me aside before you’ve said anything to Hiro yet has to do with what went down the other night… at their apartment….Just uh, know that I wasn’t trying to steal your man or anything—” 

Hirugami nodded. “—Aw, no, honestly—don’t worry about it, trust me. I’m pretty quiet and half my coworkers tried hitting on him last year at a work thing before they knew he was my boyfriend, too, so... I guess I actually just wanted to get to know you.” 

“Is that right?” Matsukawa nodded awkwardly, not completely buying the last sentence. He ignored it for sake of adding to the tension. “And you’re, like, cool with those coworkers now?”

“Oh, yeah. After I made it clear that he is mine….they fell back, just like you. And you, like them, had no clue, so….”

“Well, that’s good.” Mattsun answered, crossing his arms and staring at the crowd of partiers instead of the man he’s speaking to just like he is doing. Mattsun could vaguely see Kuroo squeezing past partiers to head in the direction of Kenma who is near the food bar. He looked away to ask a question. “Do you, uh, usually have a talk with every guy, that well—“ Mattsun didn’t want to say ‘is attracted to your man but is also his friend’out loud. “—you know….?”

Sachirou smiled, chuckling. “Huh? Oh. Nah. Hana talks about you a lot, and I can tell you two are going to be good friends, so, that’s why— and you’re going with Hiro to that dumb truck rally thing with him next week too, so that’s good. I guess I just wanted to meet the “neighbz” he likes as much as he likes Kenma and Kaashi.”

Fuck, _did Hiro really talk about him to his boyfriend?_ Matty was incredibly thankful that he and Hirugami both chose to people-watch instead of have this conversation face-to-face because he could feel his cheeks rise in temperature. That definitely made him feel some type of way, and the comparison of himself to Akaashi and Kenma regarding Hiro’s feelings was not lost on Mattsun either.

 _He wished Hirugami didn’t look like he was storing the world’s secrets under his tongue so that he could read him better._

Instead of asking an inappropriate question, though: Issei only nodded in response, muttering a quiet, “He always talks about you too.” Because it was true.. and for some reason that made Mattsun stop blushing.

 _It’s time to go home,_ he thinks. As much as he loves to see his friend happy, he couldn't be around this teddy bear and Makki when they're together. If he is fast enough maybe he can hop into the same Uber as Kobo and Akaashi, since Bo told him they were heading back now --right after Kuroo ran away like a bitch from their conversation. As luck would have it, the fuckboy spotted Akaashi and Bo (the grey hair really stands out) holding hands and weaving through the partiers on their way out, too, so now is his chance. “Well, it was cool to meet you on normal terms tonight, but as you know when you asked to talk I was actually on my way to take a piss and my bladder is gonna fucking burst any minute now, so if you’ll—“

## “I’ve been lying to you.”

The tatted gentlemen that had already been backing away, froze where he stood. Turning back to look at Sachirou’s face, he squinted, “—What?”

Hirugami’s eyes flicked to Issei’s briefly, and Issei could detect a hint of that provocation he saw when they were having a silent turf war all that time ago. It was much, much, less intense now—however, it was still present. They held that fierce gaze until the teddy bear’s eyes widened then flicked back to the busy bar hurriedly; appearing as if he had said something aloud that he himself was surprised by. Issei had no idea why he looked like that.

“Well, not lying, but--Nevermind, I have no idea why I'm saying all of this. Sorry, you can go use the bathroom.”

“—Huh?” Issei, confused but curious, encouraged some clarification to that sudden outburst. He stepped forward, back to where he stood before if not a bit closer, standing straight. “No. Go on,”

Sachirou sighed, pausing for a few moments in their corner of the busy bar before continuing. They had been yelling at each other in order hear one another over the loud music from Uni Brunchette, but for some reason Hirugami’s voice lowered a notch while he said the next thing.

“Can I ask you a question, Matsukawa-san?”

Mattsun braced himself. “Yeah.”

“Do you think I’m crazy?”

“Why would I—“

"I initially thought I was going to do something out of my character and ask you to watch Hanamaki around other guys for me since you two spend so much time together."

Issei's jaw dropped.

“But I just changed my mind about that. I’m not a guy that talks a lot., probably because I’ve never really been good at expressing myself out loud. But I know a lot of dudes look at me and think I’m either crazy or incredibly cocky for standing in circles and sitting at tables while guys talk about how much they want to screw my boyfriend—just staying quiet…I know a lot of them think I don't know what I have.” He gripped the box of Belgian chocolates in his hands. “but the thing is, I know better than anybody how good looking Hana is. I know he's probably been hit on a dozen times tonight, I know I'm not around to watch him, and I know that his ring rarely deters a horny guy, but…” Hirugami paused, still avoiding eye contact.

##  **“…I don't do anything because trust him.**

Does that make me crazy? _Or a cocky son of a bitch?”_

Issei had been staring at the taller male as he spoke, immediately understanding that he wasn’t exactly talking to Mattsun right now; if anything, the distant expression on the taller man's face indicated that his friend’s fiancé was merely speaking his mind. Mattsun could deduce that the man was a quiet dude somehow triggered to speaking his thoughts aloud for some reason.

In any case, Mattsun couldn’t tell if he was happy or disappointed by Hirugami’s answer.

Issei didnt answer straight away, falling into a stupor of his own that revolved around thoughts of the Pink haired man. He thought about days ago in the stairwell when Hanamaki made it absolutely clear that Mattsun’s attraction to him had to be just that. The feelings of disappointment from that moment resurfaced momentarily. Those feelings had been so deeply buried and covered with the happiness of a friendship that Mattsun cherished, that he didnt realize how huge that move was until right now. Even though Makki had stated that finding another friend good looking is totally normal in friendships, the fact that he shut any idea of further attraction down before Issei even had a chance to think that far really spoke to Hanamaki's character. It solidified him as someone that should not be mistaken as one half of a committed relationship. That's rare. He truly is one of the best guys Issei has ever met. issei didnt even find it fair that Makki's fiancé was even questioning him for a second, to be quite honest.

“No, you are not crazy. And you’re not a cocky son a bitch, either.” Mattsun moved so that he was leaning back on the wall again, feeling the urge to defend his neighbour for some reason. “You’re right to trust Makki. I’ve seen him tell every guy that shoots their shot that he’s with someone. He never leaves it open for interpretation and believe me, Ive never seen a guy that loyal before.”

Hirugami’s tense shoulders visibly dropped, as if his epistemology for the past two years has been justified. “Thanks. And sorry for asking out of the blue like this. I know he's crazy loyal because Kaash and Ken never let me forget it. He’s… he’s amazing. It’s one of the thousands of reasons I proposed to him…” Hirugami unknowingly tightened his grip on the Belgian chocolates in his hands, thoughts littered with the visual of Hanamaki wanting to be fed them and looking so sensual and cute while asking. “But I… also proposed because I'm always away from him. I know that if I remember just going for a jog one second and then swiping my credit card for a ring the next. In that moment, I remember thinking; stop telling Hana—really show him— how much you love him. If you don’t then, well, I’d risk missing out on the best thing that's ever happened to me, right?”

"You got that right.......” Issei murmured, hating the way the jealous knot in his stomach tightened by the thought of their proposal. He tried and failed to dismiss the fleeting thought instantly, blaming it on being drunk, and needing to go pee. 

“Every time I look at him I’m surprised he likes me.."

“-- _ThenThatMakesTwoOfUs_.” Issei grumbled under his breath.

“Sorry? Couldn’t hear over the music--”

Mattsun started, his eyes lingering on the ring on the taller male’s finger. “—What? Huh? Oh, it's nothing. Just have something stuck in my throat. My bad.”

The Teddy Bear frowned deeply. “It was probably something about needing to piss, so, go ahead. Dont let me keep you any longer. I should find Hana now anyway,”

 _YES, THANK YOU!_ Mattsun was reminded that wanted to leave. That he needed to leave. This bear was telling him to leave. 

"He's over there, I'm going to go now,"

**"Wait."**

Issei stared at the solemn expression on Sachirou's face, knowing right then and there that his low energy would be noticeable when he approached Hanamaki. Mixed in with a hint of jealousy, Issei could feel his anger rising a bit. There was no way Hirugami, or anyone was going to ruin a good night for Hana, logistics be damned. He cared so much for his new friend already, SO that’s why, instead of going straight to the toilet and leaving this guy looking grim, he said,

“Dude, cheer up. Hiro is with you for a reason. Like, for real.”

“I know—“

“Do you? Your face says otherwise. Look man, take it from someone who had to leave for school because his parents separated. And to be more specific, take it from someone who had to leave for school because his parents separated **_because_** his mother was cheating on his father. And take it from someone who actually caught it happening and had to be the one to break the news to his dad. Without even going through something like that, or even knowing that I went through something like that: I know for a fact that Hana understands the gravity of loyalty just as much. He behaves just like my father did. We both know that Hiro sees shit like lying as as bad as I do, do you know how crazy that is? When I know the only reason I see it the way that I do is because I got to see the look on my dad‘s face when my mom said it was true. Your fiancé is truly someone that is to be trusted and if you’re the same way then you two are pretty lucky to have each other.”

No longer feeling the shame of oversharing because Issei had just done the same thing, Hirugami Sachirou visibly perked up. "Really?"

Issei nodded.

**“** Neigbz, you loser! There you are! I have been looking for you to tell you that I got you a ** _\--OH MY GODDDD! BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!”_** ruining Sachirou’s initial plan to be the one to approach for Hana, a certain Pinkie threw himself on his boyfriend, lifting both feet off the ground momentarily as if he wasn't 6-feet tall.The fiancee held each other tight. 

Mattsun couldn’t help but feel warm because Hiro’s energy has always been infectious, plus he has never seen his neighbour so happy. _He looks so cute when he hugs, this so bad._

 ** _“Holy shit, what are you doing here!!??”_ **Yelled Takahiro, pulling down the taller’s face and leaning in to press kisses all over his cheeks.

 _Those kisses probably feel amazing._ Issei’s jaw locked on its own.

While the couple engaged in conversation, Issei stopped standing there like a third wheel, using this sickeningly romantic reunion as his cue to leave. He had already been meters away when Hana shouted;

“Oi! Neighbz!”

The tatted man turned around, quirking an eyebrow at his Pink-haired friend.

Hanamaki released the arms that were holding his fiancé, jogging over to Mattsun. Hiro leaned in close to Matsukawa like he did to his fiancé, placing his hand on the opposite side of Mattsun’s cheek to pull him down. For a split second Matsukawa thought that Makki was going to kiss him on the cheeks, too; _so his heart started beating out of his chest_ ; but that wishful thinking vanished when he heard Hiro's voice in his ear instead. Even so, Mattsun’s dick still jumped.

“While you were going to the bathroom for 4 fucking hours I saw someone you'd like. He’s pretty cute, his name is Naoyasu Kuguri and he’s waiting at the bar for you. Blue eyes, brown hair, tall. I told him all about you. You’re welcome!” Then, Hanamaki really **_did_** kiss Mattsun’s cheek platonically, quickly running back to his fiance. Issei was glad that he wasn't facing Hirugami anymore because his jaw dropped.

The middle blocker hurried to use the bathroom after that, only feeling little relief from no longer having to holding in his pee.

He had missed the chance to join Bokuto and Akaashi’s uber, obviously, and he believed Kuroo and Kenma/ Hanamaki and Hirugami probably left by now too since he didn't see them when he returned from the bathroom, so, instead of thinking about how thoughts of Hanamaki’s lips on his cheek and the ring on Hanamaki’s finger made him feel… Matsukawa found himself walking out hand-in-hand with the guy Takahiro had set up for him to bring home tonight. He knew Bokuto was staying at his place tonight so Mattsun opted to go to the man’s house instead. Looks-wise, the man was way more Issei’s speed, as opposed to the one from earlier that he’d let down easy, and Mattsun was shocked that anyone other than Kuroo and Bokuto would know that since he doesn’t have a descriptive “type.”

In the uber to the guy’s house, the guy kept telling Issei about how Hanamaki raved about him. Apparently, Hana told him that Mattsun is a pre-med student, and that he’s tall, handsome, and even that he's probably a generous lover. Matsukawa nearly choked at that last bit, blushing flattered more than he'd like to admit. Whether it was because Hiro might actually think these things or if he was just saying that to be a good wing man, Mattsun didn't want to know the answer if it was the latter; so he didnt think about it. He decided he'd prove Hanamaki right, He threw himself into the moment and to get his mind off of it, having a strong urge to prove Hanamaki's helpful descriptions right ( ~~and if this guy ended up letting Hiro know just how generous he could be, Mattsun wouldn't exactly be upset about it~~ ). Mattsun and the one-night-stand ended up having really good sex that night, ending his penetration dry spell for the time being. The middle blocker was beyond grateful.

“I’m gonna grab you some water. You can stay the night if you want,” offered the shirtless conquest of the night.

Usually Mattsun leaves right away after sex, but he was so exhausted from today that he could feel his body shutting down after their second round. Before he fell asleep, Issei thought about how--without knowing it, he and Hanamaki had helped each other’s love lives tonight, putting the other first to ensure the other ended the night content.

_Did that make them the purest form of true friends?_

_Or did that make them...?_

Matsukawa yawned.

Even though he'd just had sex with a whole other man tonight, as sleep succumbed him Issei couldn't stop thinking about the fact that his new friend is _loyal, funny, and thoughtful...._

_Genuine, honest, and fun..._

_ Accepting, likeable, and friendly.... _

Takahiro, like Kuroo and Bo,— is everything Mattsun ever wanted in a friend.

Except Takahiro, unlike Kuroo and Bo—is incredibly attractive to Mattsun. He thought about the high school pictures and long gorgeous legs and the kiss he’d been given and his heart swelled.

_Pretty, handsome, and……_

##  **engaged.**

Mattsun’s mind reminded him that while his friend is all those things stated above, his new friend is most importantly engaged, just as his eyes began drooping.

_Very, very, engaged._

A picture of Hirugami flashed in his mind.

## 😌💤😴

_That’s too bad,_

thought the middle blocker, deliriously-tired to the point where he won't remember any of this when he wakes up.

_Because I really want him._

he thought as well, taking one last deep breath before giving himself over to a _very_ deep sleep.

## 💤💤💤 

* * *

Minutes after Issei knocked out, his conquest of the night returned with his water.

“Hey, Matsukawa, I think you left your phone in the kitchen and it kept ringing.……” Naoyasu Kuguri looked at the sleeping sloth in his bed. Gorgeous and tatted and sexy as ever, but sleeping nonetheless. He sighed. Naoyasu decided to place the phone on the bedside table so that Issei could find it when he wakesup. Leaving the room again and turning off the lights, neither Kuguri nor Matsukawa see when Issei’s iPhone lights up with one final message of the night:

**Time:** 1:10am

 **To:** FUCKHIMRIGHTINTHEPUSSY Groupchat

 **From:** Rooster headass

**Message:**


	11. EPISODE 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> ALL I CAN TELL Y'ALL IS BUCKLE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP FOR THIS EPISODE YO. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DO A "PREVIOUSLY, ON" BECAUSE Y'ALL KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT (YOU PROBABLY DON'T). 
> 
> Anyway, TYSM for EVERYTHING as per usual, the amount of love I get I will never stop raving about. Thank you. Ily.
> 
> happy reading!!!

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 8**

* * *

The soft guitar strum of an amorous country ballad floated from the speakers into the dark apartment. 

The subdued glow of movie credits rolling past a large screen tv is one of the only two lights on in the entire home. 

“Itai!” Bokuto Kotaro hissed over the music. Some of the tea he’d been making in Akaashi, Kenma, and Hanamaki’s kitchen spilled on his hand, effectively burning his skin. 

“Bokuto-san. Are you alright?” The beautiful model jumped up from where he’d been sitting on the couch to meet Bo in the kitchen. Bokuto pouted when Akaashi quickly ran the cold water from the tap and pulled Bo’s hand under it. 

“I told you I could make the tea,”

“No, Akaashi! I wanted to make it for you…” 

“It’s quite alright. I don’t mind. Please keep your hand under there.” Keiji cleaned the small spill that the other man had made before taking over. 

Kōtarō watched him with wide eyes, admiring how beautiful the handsome man appeared when he....well, _when he did anything._ His hand was still tingling from Akaashi maneuvering his hand under the tap. 

“But you’re sad.....” Bo whispered, his heart clenching. He watched the frown on the shorter male's face deepen. 

Keiji’s hands faltered as they dipped the leaf bag in, looking up briefly to meet Bo’s eyes. The white part of Akaashi’s eyes were red, encircling his beautiful midnight blue orbs in a way that Bo wasn't Okay with. It is obvious he had just been crying in Bokuto’s arms as they watched Bo’s favourite movie; Dear John. Just like Akaashi promised, he watched Bo's favourite guaranteed-to-make-you-cry film. 

Though, somehow, during the movie when Bokuto got distracted by the man pressed against his side on the couch (even though he could have been on a completely separate couch) he also knew that some of those tears pooling from the most beautiful midnight blue globes weren’t due of the heart-wrenching plot on the screen.... _not all of them_...

“And you’re....” Keiji turned his attention back to the tea, switching from dipping to pouring. “And you’re..... making me feel better.” He finished quietly. 

The Owl’s jaw fell. His face reading: _R-really?_

Akaashi nodded, triggering Bokuto to blush heavily. He stared at Akaashi so lovingly that his hand wasn’t even under the pipe any more and he didn’t notice. 

Keiji set the teas down for a second, swiping a drying cloth off the holder and bringing it over to Bokuto. Like a trained nurse, he lifted Bo’s hand out of the sink and slowly patted it dry. 

“How does it feel?” 

Bokuto melted into the embrace, returning to Akaashi-dreamland. “How does what feel.....?”

“Your hand, Bokuto-san. Do you need me to blow on it?” 

“N-no!” Kōtarō ripped his hand away quickly, startling Keiji. He swiftly apologized because even though he truly appreciated the offer, he knew his heart wouldn’t be able to hold back if Akaashi pulled that stunt again. It was bad enough that he and his crush were alone in his apartment right now.... he couldn’t handle it if Akaashis breath hit his skin like it did earlier tonight, sending shivers down Bokuto’s spine and making him feel like he was on a cloud. 

Bokuto was sure that his battering heartbeat was vibrating the couch the entire time they watched the film, so he just couldn’t subject himself to any more embarrassment than that. 

Thankfully, the darker haired man understood. “Okay,” he smiled weakly, not getting upset with Bokuto nor pushing him to explain his erratic behaviour as everyone else does. 

Kōtarō was truly falling.... 

* * *

After they had gotten everything sorted and the teas were ready, the two men made their way back to the couch. There, Kōtarō asked Akaashi what had been bothering him tonight. A few hours ago, it was Keiji who wanted to leave Uni Brunchette, because he needed someone to talk to. Obviously, Kōtarō obliged, because _**any**_ time with Akaashi constituted time well spent. However, when they got here and they sat on the couch, Keiji was acting strange. Even stranger than he had acted at the bar. 

The Owl guessed that Akaashi was possibly feeling emotional, so he reminded his Belle about the movie he’d promised to watch with him to ease the tension. Bokuto figured that if Akaashi was going to feel strange about crying, this movie would give him an excuse to do it freely without feeling bad about it. 

Now, after the movie and with his favourite tea between his palms, the older male could tell that Akaashi felt better after getting some crying out. 

This is why Boko kindly asked why Keiji wanted to leave the bar to “talk” (even though he already knew why). He wanted Akaashi to get whatever was on his chest off, because he knows that that’s what makes anyone feel better. It's why Bokuto never holds anything in. Bo had noticed the moment he walked over and unintentionally shoved those guys away from Hana and his Belle in the bar that Keiji had a lot on his mind. Akaashi was having a great night celebrating Kenma on the outside, _sure_ , but on the inside; _it was another story._ Something had changed about half an hour after Kuroo & Kenma had arrived from their date. Bo noticed Keiji grow quiet, even with Bokuto. He was ready to hear why now, because allowing the Owl would do anything to help. 

“He contacted me tonight,” Belle admitted, shaking his head and looking away. 

Bokuto’s breath hitched as Keiji continued.

“—Using another burner phone of his, of course.” Keiji scoffed in disbelief. “I guess you can’t block enough numbers to avoid that.” 

Bokuto understood now...why Akaashi was acting so odd halfway through the night. 

There was a long pause as Akaashi collected his thoughts and Bokuto let his eyes roam over the ethereal planes on the model’s face. He was wearing a pair of glasses Bokuto hadn't seen him in yet and because of that, Bokuto was grateful that the dark apartment--lit only with the glow of the screen and the single kitchen light--would disallow his Belle from seeing the black hair’s obvious admiration. 

Bokuto planned to be patient and allow Akaashi to confide in him at his own pace, yes: but he _sure_ wished Keiji wouldn’t pause like this so often, because he was absolutely stunning and something as simple as blinking turned out be the most distracting thing Bokuto has ever encountered because it is Akaashi doing it. 

“He’s shameless, isn’t he?” asked Akaashi, finally and rhetorically. “Said _‘hey. Been a while...’_ I mean.... how disgusting can men get, right?” 

Bo had to pretend that didn’t hurt him. Even though he knew that Akaashi was only spewing this hatred because he is upset, it still hurt him to hear.

“I was paying my tab with that girl Michimiya that I know from the class when he texted me. You know the one I told you about? Yeah. I had to quickly act differently because I can’t let Hana or Kenma know.” 

“Why?” 

“Well... Hana is under enough stress as is dealing with his long distance relationship. And if _Kenma_ found out that my atrocious ex contacted me....... well _, surely **he’d kill him**.” _

Bokuto nodded. “Okay. Well, please don’t let me stop you. I won’t interrupt you again.” 

Akaashi took a deep breath before he detailed the emotional turmoil that stemmed from his last relationship. He explained the manipulation he’d endured when the older man groomed him, the lavish gifts he received and even the way Ueki always got out of things like meeting Akaashis friends or Akaashi wanting to meet his. 

“Of course, I didn’t know it then,” Keiji said, staring at the floor. 

Bokuto listened intently all while giving Keiji his undivided attention. His Belle is the the only person in his life he has ever been able to do that for. 

“But what he was essentially doing was building me up so that we’d have sex, then when he had to go back to his secret double life, he’d start a fight so that he had a reason to be distant. All the signs were there. I was on a constant rollercoaster but I was too idiotic to put two and two together.”’

“ _No!_ Sorry, Akaashi, I’m listening to every word you say but I have to stop you. **Take yourself out of the blame:** please Akaashi. A man with zero morals made a choice to hurt people close to him and no one else had a hand in that decision.”

“Mm...” Keiji nodded dismissively because he knew he’d never stop blaming himself for not knowing. He was about to finish his story when Bokuto spoke up again. 

“Akaashi. I’m serious. M-may I touch you?” 

Keiji looked up so that his eyes were once again boring into the golden hazel pools of Bokuto Kōtarō. It is dark in the apartment yet Bo’s eyes are still so _bright_ , it astounded the model. Akaashi nodded, giving permission for the man to touch him again. 

Bo carefully raised his hand so that his index finger and thumb lifted Keiji’s jaw, pinching his chin gently so that Akaashi’s eyes were finally flicked up. “I have always been told: _‘Bokuto, take responsibility for blank and blank and blank.’_ For example, _‘Bokuto, take responsibility for shutting down in the middle of a set’_ or _‘Bokuto, take responsibility for failing that test’_ or _‘Bokuto, take responsibility for almost getting Mattsun sent back home because of a video you posted.’_ All of those things were caused by _**my**_ actions and mine alone., and as much as I wanted to deny them all to my team, my professor, and my best friends.... _**I**_ had to step up and accept, admit, and own up because I really **was** at fault. Then, I realized that Life got better that way. Now.... you need to know, Akaashi, _that the same must be done when it is **not** my fault._ I think it’s just as important to say “it’s not my fault” as it is to say “it is my fault” because the point is: that ‘account-billy’ ... _I think that’s the word_ ... helps us get better as humans. Learn from our mistakes. You did nothing wrong by trusting a man that did not have yours or his families best interests in mind, okay? It’s.not.your.fault.that.he.did.that. So I’m not telling you to remove yourself from the story, but please remove yourself from the blame.” 

Blinking thrice fast, Keiji closed his eyes, letting the Owl’s words sink in. A small weight removed from atop his shoulders, and Keiji thought about what Bokuto said for a long time, studying his character. Trying to understand him....trying to comprehend why this silly Owl is the first person to break through to him even though he's heard that it's not his fault so many times. When he deemed it impossible to decipher why that is in the moment, Keiji took a shaky breath and nodded. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Bo's voice raised out of happiness, admiring the length of the beauty’s long lashes. His stomach was doing continuous backflips. 

“Okay,” Keiji repeated, forgetting to ask but feeling incline to bring his hands up to cup Kōtarō’s hands that are on his cheek. Akaashi curled his hands over Bo's and gently set all four hands down in his lap. 

Neither of them removed their touching hands as Keiji finished his story.

“While I was blinded by love,” Akaashi took a deep breath. “Kenma and Makki had their suspicions when they saw me a complete wreck one week, then happy as ever the next. They asked me about it and I just brushed it off, making excuses for Ueki. Months later, when things didn’t change, I guess they spared me the details but Kenma had tracked his IP address and found out he had an entire family.” Tears welled up in the usual emotionless eyes. Kōtarō fought his better judgement to reach out for Akaashi and hold him against his chest, deciding it might be best to hold himself back from wiping those tears. He was lending the role of a listening ear tonight—not the bear hug giver--that’s it. The last thing Akaashi needed right now was another pushy guy smothering him when he just needed a friend.

“I felt like the world had ripped out right from under me. It’s bad enough that he hurt me and another adult woman, lead us on.... but he has two daughters-- _two beautiful and sweet daughters,_ Bokuto-san! Neither were even 5-years-old at the time. I don’t know if you have noticed this about me—“

“--I notice _everything_ about you, Akaashi,” Bokuto said softly, blushing profusely when he realized he’d said his thought aloud. 

Heart tightening in a way he's never felt before, Akaashi pretended he didn't hear it. “--I’m not an emotional person at all. It hurts that that happened to me but when I cry now it’s not because of the relationship loss. I’m sad and I shed tears because of how sad the situation is. My heartbreak is multiplied by 3 because of those two sweet girls and that woman….his wife and daughters. Every day I think about an innocent woman who thinks she has a loving husband.... I think about those girls who think they have a perfect father... I think about their faces if they found out that when daddy missed their birthday last year it wasn't because he was busy with work, it was because he was taking me on a trip to Dubai. When the wife was calling and she thought he was just tired from work, he was really tired from our intimate nights. I will move on from him: I'm young and I feel myself detaching more and more as each days go by, but those three will have to relive that every time they look at that man. That woman will always look at her ring, those girls will look at their mother look at her ring. It makes me sick, sad, and mad. I don't mourn losing him but it devastates me that so many people are attached to this. He shouldn't have missed those moments as a father and because he did I feel guilty... **every single day.** I get angry--for me and for those three-- **every single day.** Some woman and two little girls are living a lie as we speak all because I—“

“Akaashi, remember what I said? Not you. _Him,_ ” 

“—Right,”

Bokuto smiled.

“— _He_ single-handedly ruined an entire family, and they don't know it yet.”

“Right. He did. And once he realizes what he had in you, he will regret it for the rest of his life.” 

“Again, I'm sorry for throwing this all on you. Hana and Kenma are having such amazing nights and they have given up so much time being there through all of this this summer during our big move, and….. well, just… _thank you for being here,_ Bokuto-san. Thank you for listening to me….” 

Kotaro’s eyes impossibly softened more. He melts every time his Belle compliments him and he wanted to exclaim that he’d do anything for the man in front of him, but he knew it wasn't appropriate right now. 

“You’re welcome Akaashi! And about the text, I think you should—” 

“Right…. The text.” Akaashi frowned, making Bokuto’s heart drop. _It was probably wrong to remind Keiji about the toxic text from his toxic ex!!_

“I-I’m so sorry Akaashi! You forgot and I shouldn’t have—!”

“No, I did not forget.” answered Keiji softly. He squeezed the larger male’s hands between his, unknowingly making Bokuto stop emo-mode right in his tracks. “I did not forget. That’s what I needed to talk to you about, actually.”

Still staring at the strong hands holding his on Akaashi’s lap, he looked up at his Belle with his big owl eyes. “Do you want to answer him?” he is barely audible.

“Oh, _God,_ no. He will never hear from me again.” Keiji shook his head with so much conviction that it kinda turned Bokuto on a bit. “Not that. But receiving his text earlier _**has**_ made me decide something,”

Bokuto gulped.

“I have decided….” Akaashi straightened his broad shoulders. “I have decided to confront his wife. I’ve made up my mind and I am going to go to her city and tell her everything.” 

The grey haired’s jaw dropped. “ **Wha—?!?!** **Reall—!?”**

“And I would really appreciate it if you would go with me.” 

Kotaro jumped back like he’d just been slapped. **“—Me!?”**

“Yes, you, Bokuto-san…. If you so choose. I want to do it right after final exams when we have a bit of time off. So, in December. You wouldn’t have to say anything I promise. I would just ask that you be beside me for..." the stunning man blushed. "...emotional support. Of course, I would completely understand if you preferred not to. This is a dramatic situation that you have no part of. However, whichever you decide I would really appreciate it if you refrained from telling Hana or Kenma that I am doing this until after it is done. Hanamaki is going through a tough period struggling with long distance, and Kenma has just found something good in Kuroo--I think he'd even say yes to a second date. Not to mention Kenma would probably kill my ex if he ends up walking in on our talk or something…so....I need it to be you. You do not have to go, it’s just that… I know that that me not telling his family is why it’s taken me so long to just let Ueki go. I know that’s why. And I want you there even over Kenma-san or Makki-san because…. _**Because well**_ … I feel extremely _good_ whenever I am around you, Bokuto-san. You make me… _feel good_.” 

The two men returned eachother’s intense stares for the next 15 seconds. Kotaro couldn’t believe that this angel on earth even said _**one**_ word to him when he knocked on his door let alone willingly thinks that his presence is valued.…. The Owl couldn’t help but think he was still in Akaashi-dreamland because he didn't think he even deserve to be in Keiji’s presence. 

“Of course I will go with you, Akaashi.” Bokuto finally answered, “I’ll always—“

“—keep me company.” Akaashi finished for him, remembering what has come to be Boku|Aka's magic words.

The model rewarded Bo with one of his devastatingly handsome crooked grins, a grin so beautiful that it had the ability to make anyone’s knees buckle. Unfortunately, that grin might as well be hidden treasure due to how rare it is, becoming even more of a rarity since the breakup. Bo literally felt like his heart stopped. He suddenly forgot how to breathe simply because of that grin. Sadly for the Owl, Akaashi is just so extraordinarily pretty that someone that has Kotaro’s no-filter rhetoric was no match for it. Not when he smiled like that. The Owl couldn’t hold himself back. 

Heart silent, Bokuto couldn’t help but wipe the last of Akaashi’s tears from his face. The tears took away from the beautiful smile adorned on the younger male’s visage and as someone that loves life, Bokuto realized that he loved life that much more when Kaashi’s tears weren’t in it. Earlier, he’d set a rule that he’d try keep his hands to himself but he just couldn’t help himself after seeing that smile. Akaashi leaned into Bo’s touch, pressing his cheek into his palm like an Owl would. The simple gesture made the older man feel so many things, _things he’s never felt before in his life_ —and Kotaro knew then and there that he’d do anything to keep that grin on this man's face. He wanted to see that grin for all of eternity, he might love it as much as he loved volleyball. A flashback of **Hana’s toast from earlier** popped into the Owl's mind as he caressed Akaashi’s cheek:

##  _💬🌫_

_“This is a toast to............ a new school year, to new friendships, to new neighbours...... and to new...” When Makki was sure Akaashi was staring at the glasses, he sent a wink to Bokuto who Hiro kicked under the table to get his attention away from staring at Keiji. They locked eyes._

_“..And to new chances at love,” he finished, staring directly at the blushing Owl._

##  _💬🌫_

—He gently slid his thumb under Akaashi’s pretty glasses again, savouring how nice the skin felt there, even though the tears were long gone. Just like his hands, Bokuto was so longer able to hold his tongue back right now, so he whispered fondly,

“Hey, Kaashi…. mind if I ask you something?” 

The brunette nodded, moving to remove his glasses to wipe under his eyes properly but once they were off he placed his cheek in Kotaro’s embrace just the same. Bokuto thought that might be the cutest thing in the world🥺☹️.

Kotaro’s voice cracked when he tried to speak once, then it cracked again when he attempted again, so he tried really hard to get it right the third time:

“Um…Akaashi…..I know you say you hate men and all, but..... _Would you ever...maybe…..y’know_ …… maybe…… _consider giving another guy a chance again?_ “ The grey haired stuttered at first then rushed the end of his sentence. He continued nevertheless, “ _I mean: if he was the bestest, gentlest, loyalest, boyfriend in the world?_ And if he cherished you and cared for you more than he cared for himself or anyone else on the planet and if he **_promised_** that he would _**never**_ be the cause of your tears because it would hurt _**him**_ more to see you hurt and if he refused to let anything bad ever happen to you!?” By the time he got it out, Bokuto's heart was pounding harder than the bass at the DJ booth in Uni Brunchette.

Akaashi, eyes newly a little wet, looking so beautiful it hurt because the water made eyes sparkle; stared deeply into the Owl’s soul. Akaashi--who never does anything by accident, glanced down at the lips of the man in front of him. Kotaro was absolutely hypnotized, glancing down at his Belle's lips as well. The tv turned off in that moment due to non-use, so it left the two gentlemen with just the distant kitchen light to illuminate the area, the shadows leaving an incredibly sultry aura in its wake. 

“Hmmmm..." Keiji began, knowing he had an Owl hanging onto his every word. He leaned in closer and ran his tongue over his own lips before stating, “I—“

##  _📞📞📞📲 BRRRRRRRRINNNGGGGGGGGGG 📲📞📞📞_

Startled due to the abrupt sound, the two men separated. Bokuto's upper half snapped back as if he’d been released from hypnosis due to Akaashi’s beauty (which, he kind of was) and Akaashi jumped to his feet because he recognized his ringing cellphone. 

Just before Bo could buried his face in his hands--on the verge of internally freaking out because it hadn’t been his intention to ask something so _obvious_ to Keiji—Keiji stopped in his tracks; hesitating before leaving to find his phone.

“Hey.” From where he was now standing, Akaashi crouched down in front of Bokuto, laying both hands on the humiliated Owl’s knees. “Bokuto-san.” 

Embarrassed, Bokuto refused to meet Akaashi’s eyes, the phone ringing almost angrily in the background. Akaashi then mildly shook the other man’s knees under his grasp to get the Owl to look at him. When Bo petulantly didn’t because he’d rather not look at Keiji when he rejects him, Akaashi gave another smirk. 

“ _Bokuto-san… It is true that I hate men."_

Kotaro nodded glumly. Akaashi carried in an almost-whisper,

 _"....But I believe that... **I would**.... give…a guy like _that _… a chance again._ ” The model made sure to squeeze the Owl’s knees to emphasize the ‘guy like that’ part.

Astonished, Bokuto’s head lifted on its own, meeting the black-haired eyes in surprise. 

_“I have a lot of on my plate right now,”_ Akaashi continued. “But if ' _a guy like that'_ were to ask me the same question again after this whole ordeal was over….” Akaashi looked down then looked back up into the shocked face of Bokuto, a blush covering his high cheekbones now. “...Well, then I'd probably have an answer… _a good one_ … _a more sure one_....for ' _a guy like that.'_”

Kotaro couldn't speak. 

"..So if you happen to know of ' _a guy like that_,'" Akaashi felt like he was on fire. " _Do tell him to ask me again in the New Year._ "

As Akaashi finished that and quickly ran to answer his phone, this flustered Owl reacted by scrunching up his face. He is extremely envious of whichever guy Akaashi wants him to tell to ask him for a chance in the New Year. He pictured a gorgeous movie star holding hands with Akaashi, them hugging and doing everything Kotaro wanted to do with his Belle. **Ugh!!**

 _A guy like that...?_ He thought enviously. _But **I'm** a guy like that! I want to be the one to treat Akaashi like a King every day! Why can't Akaashi see that I.....?_

## 💥💡 

##  _Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh😯_

Finally catching on, Bokuto buried his face in his hands. He swayed his entire body from left to right, beaming and blushing and beaming more and blushing more. If he were in a comic strip, heavy puffs of steam would be emitting from his head top right now. Kotaro's heart was jumping so much that he knew it’d bounce off the walls if it were possible to rip it out. 

“ _Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God._ ” He mumbled into his palms. 

_Cute,_ thought Akaashi as he picked up his phone, chuckling to himself. _Kotaro definitely has no clue that Keiji can hear him, right?_

Keiji brought the phone to his ear, leaning back against the counter when he answered it. 

“Hello?” 

_"📞_ … _📞"_

“Kenma? Slow down. I can’t hear you when you’re speaking so fast.”

 _"📞_ … _📞"_

When the other line buzzed with the sound of chatter so loud that Keiji had to move the phone farther than his ear, Akaashi’s blushing face due to Bokuto's actions, traded itself for a pale one. 

“Wait,” Akaashi interrupted. “ **You…**.Kuroo-san…. _WHAT!?”_

* * *

*******

Earlier that Night with Kuro **|** Ken & Kage **|** Hina at Uni Brunchette:

  
  


“Hey, Ken, if you see Hana.. don’t tell him I’m here yet, will you? I want to talk to your new neighbour first… before I surprise my baby.” Hirugami Sachirou asked politely. Kenma Kozume, Code Name: Kitten nodded dismissively, already pushing his friend’s fiance toward Mattsun who Kenma could see walking towards the bathroom. 

“Yeah, whatever, cool, bye.” The blonde used more of his strength to send Hirugami on his way. His hands almost slipped off Sachi's body as he pushed him due to how clammy they were. 

When Kenma watched Hiru stop an unsuspecting Issei and they both left to probably chat, he turned his attention back to the orange ball of energy in front of him. The _same_ orange ball of energy that could be the end to the plans the Gamer had been cultivating for weeks. 

Kozume turned back, temporary relief leaving him when his eyes fell on Hinata’s devilish smile. 

“So _thaaaat’s_ why you’re acting so weird!” exclaimed the Ginger. “I thought it had something to do with us.” The Ginger used his index finger to trail it down Kenma’s really nice crewneck dress to its hem, raising it back up to poke the blonde’s nervous blush.

“ _You’re on a date!_ Aren’t you, Kenma? 😉 And you don’t want anyone to interrupt it...” Shōyo wiggled his eyebrows at Kozume: clearly overjoyed. Beside him, a tall mean looking man rolled his eyes at his nosy friend.

Oh shit.

Kozume racked his brain for something to say but in his panicked state, nothing came to mind.

“I--uh…” he thought about what he does when he is in situations like this in a game... when his back is against the wall and the enemy is closing in…..what does he DO?! 

Still failing to come up with any options, Kenma’s senses reminded him about keeping a look out. **The Game isn't over yet and if he could somehow keep Kuroo away from him he could still salvage this situation!** The blonde considered sending the Raven a text telling him to meet him on the opposite end of the bar, but then he remembered that he left his phone with Akaashi all night. He considered making a run for it and maybe leaving with Shoyo, but it was obvious he was on a date so that would be a difficult lie to upkeep. Plus, he'd have to explain that to his date.

When Kenma's gold eyes darted back toward the stalls—he winced. _**A tall figure with black bedhead is right there. Fixing his pants and looking around for HIM.**_

oh shit oh shit. It's too late now!

It’s like when he’s gaming and he feels as though the system game-makers rigged so the player loses. 

Among the busy, excited crowd, Kenma watched as Kuroo did a shoulder check back toward the nook they’d just made out in. _So you mean to tell me that this guy had to leave their hiding place **at the same moment** that Shōyo just discovered that he’s on a date?! _

_Oh, definitely rigged, Kozume_ thought. 

WELP, I GUESS THIS IS IT....😒 Kozume deadpanned internally, turning his back to Kuroo so fast that his hair covered his face. 

Shoyo removed the blonde hair from his friend. “Where is the lucky guy, huh?" Hinata beamed, bouncing on his feet. "You never date, wow, so this guy must be really special!” Still bouncing, the Ginger turned to Kageyama who was now salivating over the scent coming out of their two large brown paper bags. “Can we wait a bit, Tob? I really want to meet him!” 

“Meet who😠?” Tobio asked, obviously having zoned out because of the food. He glared down at Hinata when he asked. 

“Aren’t you listening, Baka!? Kenma’s date!” Hinata barked back. 

“Oh.” Kageyama visibly relaxed a bit once he realized this wasn’t a potential man Hinata is interested in ( ~~A/N: except it is~~ ), and Kenma thought it was painfully obvious how into-Hinata he was. Too bad Kuroo ruined Hinata’s self confidence, making it so that Kageyama wouldn't get a chance. “Is he coming now because I’m hungry and I want to eat." 

“Baka…….. when aren’t you hungry!?” 

“When aren’t _**you!?”**_

Hinata huffed, rolling his eyes. “Where is he?” Hinata turned his attention back Kenma, his big eyes jumping in anticipation. 

“Um….” The blonde's eyes darted back to the stall area once again, seeing Kuroo about 5 bodies away, on his way over here. Crap. Shoyo hadn’t followed him so he had no clue who was coming here to present himself as his date, therefore he was still waiting with a smile on his face. 

_It’s game over_ **🎮** ☠️ **** _,_ Kenma thinks. _All that planning and seducing and preparing.... all for him to lose in the first round._ The amount of energy and time he had saved to ruin Kuroo and make an example of him for hurting his friend, all of this ... would all end in a messy elimination because Kenma failed to account for running into Hinata. 

**_As a pro-gamer, this was more than Despicable._ **

_It’s the worst game play he’s ever seen, actually._

Positively ashamed, the cat didn’t even say anything. _How could he? **Why** would he?! Kuroo is probably right behind him by now which means the game was over._

Shutting down as if it were time to power off his Nintendo Switch system after losing too much, Kenma bowed his head and waited for the “Game Over” message: I.e: Hinata yelling — “Kenma, that’s the guy I told you about!” Or Kuroo saying, “Kenma, you told me you didn’t know anyone in this city except for us.” 

It was going to be brutal...and it was about to go down on. 

Amidst the buzzing bar filled with faux palm trees and tiki themed decor, Kenma stared at the smiley coconuts drawn on the tiles. A warm body finally got there, pressing his front against Kenma’s back and slipping a hand around his waist. 

Kenma, still staring down, shut his eyes tight and groaned.

_There’s nothing he could do now, so…._

No one speaks. The blonde waited, preparing himself for the blow. He could just picture the awestruck look on his childhood friend's face; the dumbstruck look on his date’s face; and the perplexed look on his childhood friend’s friend's face. He couldn’t face those looks just yet, so

He waited. 

And waited. 

**….and waited.**

“Uh…..” Kags’ muffled voice raised over the music, obviously speaking between chewing. “What's he doing?” He asked.

“He gets nervous in crowds sometimes...and Oi, Baka, you got into the food already!?” Hinata yelled. “You’re so greedy! Wait until we get back to my place!” 

“No!”

“Yes!”

Quickly, Kenma’s head shot up. In front of him, his eyes were met with an old quick-attack-duo wrestling, Hinata jumping to obtain a set of chopsticks balancing in Tobio’s hand that had a huge piece of steak between it… 

##  _Ummm…?_

Hinata seemed to be laughing while he tried to grasp the utensils.

##  _Wait... **laughing?!** How can he be laughing?! _

This doesn’t make sense…. 

In the same second, Kenma’s head whipped to the right to the person who had an arm wrapped around his waist. 

As expected, his eyes met a familiar tall, gorgeous man with tousled black hair. 

_Except...._

##  _**The man isn’t his date.** _

##  **🤯**

“Akaashi…” Kenma murmured, neck still craned up to stare at his roommate who had an arm wrapped around him in confusion. 

“Hey. Sorry, this guy over there was staring at you like he was about to devour you, so... I saw him about to make his creepy move so I stepped in.” 

Kenma nodded casually, not feeling any type of way about it in the slightest. He couldn’t count the amount of times Hanamaki or Akaashi had to pretend they were Kenma’s boyfriend to deter creepy men away from the smallest man. That's why Kenma had asked Kinnosita to do that a few weeks ago. While Kenma 100% knows how to defend himself, he was forever grateful for his protective and 6’ tall friends and strangers that looked pretty intimidating when they needed to be. 

Keiji removed his arm from around Ken. "Here's your phone."

"Thanks." Kenma answered slowly, confused as all hell.

##  _What was even.....? But wait. If Akaashi is here , and Hinata is--_

“Ha! Got it!” Hinata was now on Kageyamas shoulders, yelling triumphantly with the chopsticks over his head. He dropped the piece of steak on the floor in the process. "Oops."

"Hinataaaaaaa!😤" growled Kags.

##  _there, then **where is**....._

Kenma spun beside Keiji so he could look behind his roommate. He whipped his head left to right but couldn’t and _ **didn’t**_ see Kuroo anywhere! 

Kenma squinted his eyes. **No Kuroo.** He peered at the College students going to and from the washroom then he scanned those around him. He even did a complete 360 spin. Kozume had amazing eyesight, so when he spun completely he could see Mattsun and Hirugami chatting on the far corner of the restaurant…. He could see Hanamaki chatting up some sandy blonde haired guy kindly at the opposite end of the bar, he could see that guy Akaashi must have been talking about retreating because Keiji’s arm-thing must have deterred him from hitting on him, and he could see Kageyama angrily sliding Hinata off his back, but making sure he was carefully placing him on his feet, too. He could see all kinds of meaningless partiers that he’d recognized throughout the night. All kinds of students and servers and the DJs and the delivery guys. 

But he couldn’t see Kuroo. 

Unable to understand how someone could vanish into thin air like this, Kenma used the side of his fists to rub his eyes. _Was he going crazy?!_

“Bokuto-san is meeting me outside, he and I are heading back to the apartment after he closes his tab.” Akaashi kindly stated to Kenma, grabbing his attention. 

“Would you like to come with us or will you be lengthening your date with—?” 

“—I’ll call you if I need you!” Interjected Kenma, not wanting Keiji to say _thou-who-shall-not-be-named_ out loud. 

“Okay,” Keiji glanced down at text he received on his phone. If Kenma was in the right state of mind he would have noticed that Akaashis usual scowl deepened when he looked at his message history. “I can come get you when you’re ready if you’d like. Just call me if your date gets too annoying or pushy with you. I'll be there right away. Remember my car has the self driving feature, so it’s as safe as an Uber.” 

Kenma nodded, his mind distant. Akaashi said a few more things that didn’t register to his blonde friend before he took his leave. 

For the next few moments, the shorter male just stared into the unrecognizable crowd with one thought in mind: 

**_Where is….?_ **

“Kenma! I’m sorry but: we’re leaving.” Shoyo jumped in front of his friend, smiling excitedly. “Our food is getting cold, and that’s just about as long as Kageyama can go without eating--not to mention that I’m getting really hungry too, so, we’re gonna go! I’m sorry that we couldn’t meet your boyfriend tonight!” 

Kenma grimaced. “Not my boyfriend.” 

“Sorry, your date!” 

“...Whatever.” 

Shoyo smiled. “Is that Okay?!” 

“Ya.” 

Hinata leaned in to hug the quiet blonde. “I want to meet him soon, though! Will you text me all about him!? And about how it goes? I will see you soon, okay?” 

“Hinata-boke **_let’s go!_ **” Called a distant angry voice that obviously belonged to Kageyama. Kenma noted that the setter had grown in a lot of ways over the years due to not being as awkward, but his lack of anger management returned with a vengeance when he was hungry. 

“SHUT UP I’m coming!” Even though Hinata sounded insulted, Kenma didn’t miss the way Hinata’s eyes lit up to the sound of Tobio’s angry voice. ~~_Behind that bundle of cutesy boyish charm and energy, Kozume knew his orange haired friend was a kinky motherfucker._~~

Shoyo hugged Kenma tight, whispering in his ear. “I’m screwed, Kenma. He's so hot. I'll have to say no to him again, but **damn** do I want to say yes.”

“ _HINATA-BOKE!!!”_

"COMING!" And with that tidbit, Hinata bounced away. 

Kozume watched in shock as the tangerine disappeared out the door, racing a hangry star athlete to the parking lot. Outside the transparent doors, Kozume could spot Bokuto and Akaashi leaving too, Bokuto trading places with Akaashi so he could walk on the side closest to the traffic. _Wow...._

**What**

**the**

**fuck**

**just**

**happened.**

Taking a few deep breaths to think about the emotional rollercoaster that had just transpired, Kenma in the end felt a rush of adrenaline surge through his body. It felt as if his player: **Code Name:** _Kitten_ in this mission had just been given new life, powering him up completely. It felt almost as good as an orgasm.

The last 20 minutes of Kenma's life had been the most terrifying, thrilling, and exhilarating minutes that he’s had off of his game system. _Who knew the real world could be as eventful as gaming?!_ He had been THISSSSSSS close to losing.... but someone had clearly taken out his enemy (Kuroo) before he reached him—eliminating Kuro from the game long enough for Hinata to grow tired of waiting and leave.

This. 

Is.

**Incredible.**

For the first time in a _lonnnnng time_ : 

Kenma rejoiced inside. 

He had a second chance at this game!

HE WOULD NOT WASTE IT!

_He is going to do so much better this time around!_

Kenma couldn’t keep still any longer. He was so happy he could kiss Kuroo again-- _wait....._ Shaking his head from that thought, the blonde smiled evilly to himself. He made his way far corner he remembers seeing Matsukawa and Hirugami in so that he ask them if they’ve seen Hana, when….

“What the fuck?” Kenma deadpanned, seizing his quest toward Matsukawa-san when he spotted a large human with bed head crawling on all fours. The person was crawling on the coconut tiled, absolutely disgusting bar floor in the centre of the dance floor Kenma needed to cross. 

##  _And who is this man, you ask?_

Well, none other than scale-creator **Kuroo Tetsurō,** of course, adorned in his expensive trousers and black button-down. Tetsuro jutted his head over his shoulder to look up at Kenma when he heard his voice, face growing as red as a firetruck.

"Oh! Kenma!" His eyes flicked down to the slit of Kenma’s thigh that’s been tempting him the whole night before looking up at the pretty blonde's face. He but his lip momentarily because Kozume’s legs looked _really_ good from down here, _especially_ in those thigh high boots. _Maybe since he's down here he could take a small peek under the dress to see what's underneath, and...._ Kuroo too shook his head to force out the perverted thoughts. He proceeded to give Kenma one of his most convincing innocent expressions.

“Oh, uh, Hey Kitten, uh...what’s up?” 

Kenma crossed his arms, staring down at the 6’2 man in a crawling position on the gross public floor. “Kuro. What the fuck.” 

Kuroo struggled to respond, hoping Kenma would accept his smile as a gesture of his forgiveness like the guys he’s used to being with... even though Kozume is his scale-breaker.

“I….uh….. _I guess you’re wondering what I’m doing on the floor…?_ ” 

Kenma raised his right eyebrow. “Good guess.” The shorter male watched with fake-interest as Kuroo fumbled for an excuse for the next few minutes, rambling on and on about something along the lines of him losing an earring and looking for it. 

Of course….. Kenma didn’t believe a thing. 

And of course…….Kenma knew **precisely** why Kuroo was on the floor.

It made complete sense now as to how he disappeared from thin air before! Kozume knew--as he listened to Kuroo’s lies--that his extra life in this game wasn’t owed so much to Tetsu disappearing into thin air, but moreso owed to, if Kenma guesses correctly:

Kuroo having spotted Kenma conversing with Shoyo and dropping to the floor in an attempt to avoid being exposed for the destructive fuckboy that he is. 

**Kenma.**

**Couldn’t.**

**Believe**

**It.**

A few minutes ago, the Gamer on a mission had an exceptionally awful bomb to diffuse if he’d been exposed tonight, but he was prepared to face the music nonetheless. He was going to accept defeat when Kuroo met Hinata again.

Meanwhile.. Kuroo Tetsurō had an exceptionally awful bomb to diffuse as well if he was knowingly exposed tonight, but instead of facing the music like Kenma would have, this man decided to drop down to the disgusting floor in his expensive clothes _**and hide so he wouldn’t be caught!**_ Kenma couldn't believe it. This guy would rather go to extremes and touch a mucky floor with his bare hands than risk apologizing for how shitty he treated Hinata. Or, in Kuroo's mind, he’d rather go to extremes and touch a mucky floor with his bare hands than risk losing his opportunity to stick his dick inside Kozume Kenma, **_and Kozume knew it._ **

OHOHOHOHOHO. 

The Game Gods are definitely laughing right now. 

And The Fuckboy-Karma Gods are definitely laughing **_even harder._ **

If Kenma had any doubt in his mind before that Kuroo didn’t deserve what was coming to him by the end of this mission of his; he **DEFINITELY** had none now. In fact, seeing Kuroo on all fours on the ground actually inspired Kenma to kick his end-game up a notch, in order to ensure that this 'King of Fuckboys' truly got what he deserved at the end of this.

He couldn’t wait. Kenma’s competitive nature just reached an all-time high. 

And Kozume had definitely redeemed himself this round. 

The irony of everything that had transpired tonight caught up to Kenma when he saw Kuroo immediately shut his mouth while on the floor of Uni Brunchette. Like a tidal wave washing to shore, the ridiculousness of the situation made the kitten laugh. **Sincerely laugh.**

Kuroo stopped his babbling to indulge in the sheer attractiveness of the sound, moderately confused but moreso turned on as he watched his attractive date laugh harder, clutching his stomach with one hand. 

Kozume reached out his hand for Kuroo to take, helping the Raven onto his feet. Paranoid, Kuroo could only dart his eyes around the bar when he got up like Kenma had done only moments ago, relaxing when he failed to locate a 5.5/10 Tangerine anywhere. Only then did Kuroo brush the dirt off his knees and look down at the beautiful still-chuckling man. He couldn’t help but smile at Kenma’s smile. 

“What’s so funny, Kitten? Are you that drunk?” 

“N-no,” Kenma tried to settle down, but the laughter bubbled up again so he leaned in against Kuroo’s chest for support. Kuroo felt a love arrow shoot through his heart because his date is so fucking cute and he has yet to get over their make out session in the back yet. It had taken Kuroo twenty minutes of forced concentration to thinking about dead animals so his dick would go down, so it came as no surprise that it only took a moment of contact as Kenma leaned in to laugh on Kuroo’s chest for Kuroo begin to harden already. 

“S-s-sorry,” Kozume wiped a tear that slipped out of his eye, trying to settle down his snickers. “Sorry. I’m fine. I’m fine. Did you find your earring?” 

“O…...ya,” Kuroo answered, evidently proud but not surprised that Kenma believed his lie about the earring _._ “Ya, I did.” 

_Man, I’m good 😎._ Kuroo thinks arrogantly. _Too fucking good_ 😎. He smiles internally. “Hey, who's that guy that you were speaking to earlier?” 

“Which guy?” Kenma asked, knowing exactly which guy he was talking about. He took a few deep breaths and eventually calmed himself down.

“U-um, short? Red hair? Next to a tall one that was stuffing his face with takeout?” 

Kenma resisted the urge to laugh again. “Oh… that guy...”

“Yeah.” Kuroo held his breath. He shuffled on his feet, showing clear signs of guilt. “Were you two talking for a while?”

Amused at how the tables have turned, the blonde twirled a strand of hair around his index finger, playing up the innocent factor. “Nah,” he added a shrug for good measure. “Just some random guy that asked me out.” 

Kuroo let out that breath immediately. “ _Should have known_.” He smiled for more reasons than one. “Wait. You said, no, right?” 

“ _Wouldn't you like to know…...._ ”

“Kenma! We're on a **date!** ”

He rolled his eyes. “Calm down.... Of course I said no and sent him on his way.”

“Good. I’m glad. Besides, I should have known that you'd say no too.” 

“And why’s that?” the blonde inquired.

“It's obvious. If it took **_me_ ** several tries to get a date with you then there is **_no way in hell_ ** it takes **_that_ ** guy **one.** I can admit that you’re out of my league, but if you’re out of my _league_ than that would mean you are out of **that** guy’s ** orbit.** Simple science. Hahaha,” He chuckled, looking away coolly.

🤬🤬🤬🤬--

Kenma narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists as he forced himself to not injure the man in front of him. It took everything in his power not to respond to that backhanded shallow comment with another stomp of his foot.

##  _That’s his **friend** this douchebag is insulting!_

_grrrrrrr he's going to get it...._ Kenma chanted internally, dousing the fires in his mind. He had to remind himself of his plan..... _Stay undercover._

Kenma forced out the fakest laugh ever. “Well, if that’s it, then…. Kuro..?”

Feeling confident because his blonde seemed content with his joke and because he just evaded what would have been one of the worst nights of his life, Kuroo upped the charm again around the best looking man he’s ever seen in his life. “Yes, Kitten?” 🙂

“Take me home?” Kenma blinked up at the man, fluttering his lashes cutely. 

Kuroo grinned. “Sure, Kitten.” He only agreed because he was beyond excited to have another excuse to have a make out session with the cutie when they kissed goodnight. The Raven is practically desperate to have those pink lips on his again— _fucking hell. “--_ Lemme just go see if Matty needs a drive home too since it's the same building, and then we can—“ 

Suddenly, Kenma tugs Kuroo down by one side of his blouse collar, making a surprised ' _eep'_ exit Kuroo’s mouth. Kozume’s lips were on Kuroo’s ear the next second. 

“Forget Mattsun.” He bit Kuroo's ear gently. “I want you to take me to **_your_ ** apartment. Not mine.” Kenma fucking purrs, “So that we can be _alone….”_ Kozume is sure to sexily drag out the word alone...

and that is the last word Kenma gets to say before he is hoisted into Kuroo’s arms and rushed out of Uni Brunchette. 

* * *

**_***_ **

_“G-God, Ki-Kitten....”_

_“Ffffffuck.. Kenma, you’re killing me…”_

##  _Why?_

Kuroo thought to himself. 

##  _Why was he doing this to himself.  
__**???**_

He could be naked & balls deep inside another dude on his fuckbuddy list right now, but no….. 

Here he is: whipped, half-sitting half-laying back on his couch with a smoking hot gamer on top of him... the gamer straddling his hips while he plays on Kuroo’s moderately sized tv in his&Bokuto's living room. They are at Kuroo’s apartment, and the blonde is fully clothed in the sexy outfit he’d worn on their date, grinding on ku’s dick, _**just grinding**_ , and yes, if you’re wondering:

##  _Tetsurō is absolutely about to cum embarrassingly hard in his pants._

_SO why is he doing this?!_

* * *

They had entered the apartment half an hour ago— Kuroo glad that he had enough wishful thinking to clean the entire place before his date just in case something as amazing as this happened. Kuroo doesn’t even remember the drive from Uni-Brunchette here, only recalling that his dick was throbbing the entire time. He remembers being kissed breathless by Kenma again when they got inside the door and then Kenma made him take a shower because Kuroo had been on the floor of the bar. 

Kuroo had never showered so fast in his entire life. He almost pulled a Bokuto and slipped and fell. In the shower, his neglected cock begged for attention like the American Capitol-stormers, but Kuroo swore to his mini-me ( ~~not mini at all, to be fair~~ ) that mini him just needed to be patient for a little while longer. It would feel that much more amazing when it’s inside the hot blonde that making himself at home in his living room. 

Not wanting to seem like a dick, Kuroo threw on some lose boxers but still decided on no-shirt when he changed in his room upon hopping out the shower. He’d never been more excited to fuck someone in his life. His every thought was consumed with gold eyes and milky thigh slits and dark roots and pouty lips…. _Fuck he had to stop himself from sprinting out his doors and tackling the seducer that awaits him._

In Kuroo’s mind, the sexual tension between the two of them had been building ever since he first laid eyes on Kenma. He realized that it is possible that his scale could malfunction by someone so gorgeous and ever since then he's been thinking about doing the freshman. All the Raven’s thoughts of yearning; thoughts of getting between those fucking sexy strong thighs and pounding to his hearts content—would all come true tonight. 

Or so he hopes it would. 

_Except…._

Unfortunately, when Kuroo opened his door and sauntered into his living room…. 

Kenma had decided to make his desire-filled move on Kuroo’s game system... **instead.**

“Kenma, hello….?” 

If Kozume’s roommates were here, they would have easily told Kuroo that his pleas and trials were no good—even without Kenma’s mission in tact. Hanamaki would have warned poor, horny Tetsuro that if he wanted to fuck his roommate tonight, then it would have been best to hide all game systems in his storage or something. _Because where there is a game system_...... _**and games that Kenma has never played before**....._any aspiration for Kenma’s attention to be on anything **other** than those games might as well die like the fly from earlier.

Kuroo, dick hard because he even thought his scale-breaker looked beyond sexy while gaming—tried his best for 20 minutes to get Kenma to budge. To even simply LOOK at him and not the game on the screen: but nothing worked.

He’d settle for making out at this point, _God damn it._

_He just needed Kenma’s lips on his._

_And not just because he's turned on. Also because Kuroo_ ** _likes_ ** _Kenma._

After continuous trial and failure for the next 45 minutes, Kuroo devastatingly gives up on sex and making out with Kenma. He’s incredibly disappointed, and usually this would be the time that Kuroo would kick his date out of his apartment because clearly sex wasn't going to be an option…..( ~~actually, Kuroo kicks them out after they say no the first time~~ ) but: Tetsurō found that a large part of him is actually **content** with Kenma staying as long as he pleases. Even just to game.

The fact that he feels comfortable as he games in Kuroo’s apartment and he seems so happy doing it—yeah that made Kuroo incredibly **_soft_** (only his heart: not his dick, unfortunately). 

Even so, Kuroo made popcorn to make them more comfortable as he sat next to Kenma. He watched the almost surreal way the blonde maneuvered through difficult levels in Kuroo’s games. 

“Whoa, what?! It’s taken me 3 years to get to level 12! How are you on level 20 _**already!?**_ Have you played this before?!” Kuroo’s eyes were almost out of their sockets. 

“No.” Answered Kenma flatly, staring only at the screen. 

“This is your first time playing??!!!” 

“Uh huh.” 

Kuroo wiped a hand over his face. “Oh my God…..” he watched as Kenma advanced to level 21. “You are _incredible_ , Kitten.” 

The sheer sincerity dripping from the Ravens voice made Kenma’s hands on the controller stutter for a moment. He paused the game for a second, turning to Kuroo. “I could show you,” Kenma offered, “how to beat those levels. If you want.” 

Tetsurō’s eyes lit up brighter than when Kenma stopped his game for him at their party. Kenma noticed for the first time that his date was only in a pair of white boxers in that moment, seeing that the taller male’s impressive physique is on display for the gamer. Kenma quickly soaked in the view of the Raven's hard chest and very distinct 6-pack that the taller male had going on. He looked good as hell, and the lack of clothing made Kozume-- **who hasn't been laid for yearsss** \-- feel some type of way. He almost pounced.

 _You're undercover. You're undercover. You're undercover._ he reminded himself.

Kenma was immediately grateful for his healthy obsession with gaming because it had distracted him all this time, prohibiting him from noticing that Kuroo looked like this the entire hour he’d been watching him game. 

“Yes, please show me!” Tetsurō grinned, genuinely excited for the help. Kuroo understood that sex was out of the question an hour ago and now he was just happy with having Kenma in his presence for the rest of the night.

_However…._

_Even Undercover Kenma (Code Name: Kitten) had a completely different plan._

“I’ll show you,” Kozume moves. He places himself on Kuroo’s lap, straddling him backwards so that Kuroo can watch the controller over Kenma’s shoulder. Kuroo started in surprise when Kenma strategically placed his ass right on Tetsu’s groin. 

“Can you see? Here, put your arms around me so you can move the controls too.” 

Kuroo quickly listens, wrapping his much larger hands over Kenma’s so that they were basically both playing together. When Kenma’s fingers moves quickly under him, Kuroo’s moved to. He allowed his fingers to be lead by Kenma’s, trying his best to not think about how his scale breaker’s ass is directly on his cock. 

While showing him the ropes and Kuroo getting the hang of it, Kenma began slowly sliding his ass back and forth, wanting it to (at first) seem like he was just making himself comfortable. Kuroo’s semi began growing immediately, so he bit his tongue to keep his groans in. 

_At first._

When Kenma continued his ministrations, both teaching Kuroo how to kill the bad guys **AND** sandwiching Kuroo’s hardened member in between his plump cheeks, he slowly glided back and forth on the taller male's length. Kuroo’s hands trembled slightly as they tried shadowing his scale-breakers gaming fingers, eventually giving up and dropping to his sides when the delicious pressure on his groin proved too good for him.

Kenma continued playing his game with his usual unbotehred expression, grinding on Tetsu’s dick so pleasurably that Tetsu’s eyes fluttered shut. Kuroo couldn’t believe he could feel this much pleasure while clothed. Pleasure shot through his dick with every delicious drag... and when one particular rock of Kenma's hips caught the tip of his dick on Kenma’s clothed opening, the Raven tossed his head back, automatically gripping the smaller male’s hips **and** letting out an ignominiously loud moan. 

The volume of the moan surprised Kenma, instantly making him smirk to himself at the tv becaus;e boy, _he knew he had an effect on Kuroo, but he didn't know that he’d being rewarded with such a loud moan just for a little dry humping while he games!_ Kenma had barely even done anything and Hinata said things like Kuroo could last forever, not easily impressed in bed-- _however,_ _Kenma was continuing to beat new levels while doing this for God’s sake. And the sounds he was eliciting from the Raven sounded like he was **very** impressed...._

The hot blonde felt himself power up just like he did when he saw Hinata leave the bar, realizing just how much power he truly had over the biggest fuckboy in their entire University. He couldn't deny that it was a major ego boost. Plus, now that he was able to evade losing because he stupidly ran into Shoyo, now the Gamer knew what he had to do. This was still only the first date and this shallow man is already putty in his hands. It’s amazing. 

## CHA-CHING! 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇

The gamer has never felt more confident.

 _“Youre s-so so hot.... ”_ Kuroo groaned, forcing his lidded eyes to stay open as Kenma continued to play his game and rock his hips on his bulge.

As weird as it may be and he couldn’t understand it himself; for some reason Kuroo **_loved_ ** how disinterested his blonde seemed to be in anything concerning him. Even though he liked him, it turned him on how hard-to-get Kozume is. _Is he always this...care-less? **Even when making a man of his stature horny as hell?!**_ GOD, It made Kuroo so fucking horny.

The delicious friction on his cock from Kenma gliding back and forth on it isn’t anywhere near enough-- _he really wanted Kenma to be grinding like this with his hard cock deep_ **_inside_ ** _him_ \--but just how mind-blowingly attractive the man on top of him was made up for the gap tenfold. Tetsurō has never been this aroused before without intercourse and it’s all because of the anomoly that is:

Kenma fucking Kozume.

_Kuroo watched as Kenma absolutely obliterated every single intruder in the game he is playing, using special moves and tricks and elevating his new high scores. That was so hot in and of itself. Then, Kuroo looked down, unable to see the blonde’s ass and his own painfully hard cock because of Kenma’s oversized crewneck covering it, but he could see the rocking movements of Kenma’s hips, each of which drove Kuroo crazy. His cock and mind stimulated, Kuroo felt himself crawling closer to release._

_God, this is embarrassing, right? the Raven_ thought as another stroke on his clothed dick made him moan out. _But it feels so good. So good…._

 _Tetsuro was now glad that he couldnt see Kenma’s ass grinding on him because if he did he would have jizzed already._ He groaned loudly.

“Sh-shit, Kenma....I’m close.”

A part of Kuroo’s brain was shocked at this, while another part stopped himself from helping Kenma rock back and forth so that he could get off sooner. ' _This was embarrassing as is, no need to speed up the process!'_ \- he chastised himself. 

Meanwhile, Kenma was still smirking as he played, wanting to make fun of Kuroo for the fact that this notorious 'Sex God' is close when he’d only been dry humping him for less than 5 minutes. 

## OH HELL YES: 🥇🥇🥇

Due to the movements, the elastic holding his scale-breakers bun was about to fall out, allowing many of Kenma’s silky strands to escape, so at that point, Kozume paused the game and set his controller down to redo his bun. He never stopped his movements on Kuroo’s dick, still disinterested at fuck.

Turned on by this, the taller male began dry humping in tandem, incredibly turned on by the fact that Kenma had his elastic between his teeth and was pulling all the pretty blonde strands behind him as if Kuroo wasn't even there. _Holy shit,_ he thought this was sexy as hell. The multitasking was beyond him. 

_Has the blonde unleashed a new kink in Kuroo!?_ _And what kink is this even called?!?!_ Kuroo was being driven off the bloody edge.

He's so used to guys begging for his attention, so this was just....

For the first time, the Raven--who is without a doubt used to complete domination in bed--realized that he hadn't relinquished this kink because he had a **Monotone Power Bottom** on his hands, which may seem like an oxymoron but it turned out to be Kuroo's kryptonite.

## He should have known that this scale-breaker would surpass more than just his beauty scale🥵🤯.

His Kitten would be the death of him, _holy fuck, because he's too_ fucking hot for his own good. When Kenma made a perfect messy bun out of his hair, Kuroo growled and threw caution to the wind, beginning to chase his release like his life depended on it: planting his heels for leverage and helping Kenma hump his crotch. 

_“Yes, Fuck.”_ Kuroo moaned, loving that Kenma re-did his bun and nonchalantly returned to the game, even as the movements became more erratic. 

##  _It’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen...._

Yeah, Kuroo was definitely going to have to throw out his favourite boxers in a few seconds.

##  _Cause he is about to fucking cum so much._

It is only when Kuroo moans, _“C-close--s-so damn Close--”_ in his incredibly deep and rich voice that he actually manages to throw Kenma off his game for the first time, losing one of his 3 lives because the moan distracted him. The blonde had been doing so well hyper-focusing on his gaming instead of the huge cock he’s grinding on... but even years of instilled focus is no match for Kuroo’s erotic deep voice that just **_does_ ** something to Kenma. 

Kenma hated that it did that. Kuroo's voice is a mission weakness in and of itself, and he couldn't deny that he was incredibly attracted to Kuroo _**physically**_. Kenma losing a life shifted hjis focus so much so that the pleasure of what was happening crept into the space; making Kenma hiss at how good it felt to have a dick glide past his sensitive hole again. Kozume is reminded about how much he neglects self gratification as his stomach flips in a wanton way. Even though Kenma is not an overtly sexual person, he can't deny how good Kuroo makes him feel... whether it be making out in the bar nook or doing this dry humping thing they're doing right now. Kenma felt really good, and he thought about how much better this would all feel without clothes. He could only image how sex would….

The blonde didnt realize that he was backing his ass up even harder due to his horny thoughts, stimulating the taller’s male dick underneath him so much that it had Kuroo whining. Kenma's unintentional enthusiasm gave the Raven that final push towards Kuroo’s edge...

 _“Going to cum, Kitten. Gon-na--_ ” 

**And that’s when Kenma seized all actions.**

Kuroo stopped mid moan, his orgasm that was a millisecond away ripped away from him in an instant. 

Kozume now had his phone in one hand along with the controller in the other. He gave one simple, flat explanation for stopping:

“Akaashi is downstairs to pick me up. I called him when you were in the shower to come get me around this time. Gotta go.” 

##  **Whaa--????????????????????????????????**

Feeling out of body, The Raven watched in disbelief as his mind-blowingly hot date-- **that was just about to make him cum incredibly hard,** mind you\-- crawled off his lap, pulled his crew neck dress back down, and collected his things.

Tetsu--still only wearing his **VERY Tented:**

## ⛺️

white boxers-- sat there frozen, so shocked that he was only able to gap like a fish the whole time:

## 😧😳😧😳😧😳

## 😧😳😧😳😧😳

## 😧😳😧😳😧😳

The older male’s Godly body had a thin layer of sweat covering it, a sheen over his abs and his chest was heaving up and down. If an outsider walked in right now and didn't know any better; they'd think that Kuroo had just been ruined. His chest is rising up and down rapidly, making it obvious that his heartbeat it going a mile a minute. The man just continued to gap. 

Once Kenma had his sexy knee high boots back on, he walked over to Kuroo’s statuesque figure. Leaning in, he made sure to press his palm on Kuroo’s inner thigh to stabilize himself, pressing a light peck on Kuroo’s cheek. The Raven’s eyes closed and his hips jumped on their own at the contact, desperate for the sweet release that was just SINFULLY stripped away from him--denied to him.

“Goodnight, Kuro.” Kenma whispered before he pulled away. “I’ll see you next weekend for our next datee,” 

Then, **LIKE A TRUE PRO-GAMER:** _Code Name: Kitten_ took his leave, extremely proud of himself when he could basically hear the sound of slapping skin because Kuroo was desperately fapping himself off and growling. Kenma’s evil grin remained as he jumped into Akaashi’s car downstairs, saying good bye to Bokuto _who was about to rob his poor roommate of a much needed orgasm due to his presence for the **second** time tonight._

When Akaashi asked him what he was smiling about, Kenma’s only response was that Hana had been right when they were helping with choosing outfits for this date. Right about this outfit having the potential to giving poor Kuroo fuckboy Tetsuro blue balls. 

Akaashi--wanting to be spared the details-- smiled because Tetsu was a man, only feeling a little bad about the state his short roommate probably left Tetsuro-san in…..

"I was worried when you called me, Kenma. You never go to other people's houses, ever." 

Kenma, nodded because it's true. However, when you're on a mission as important as Kenma's.... 

**anything goes.**

## That was for the Shoyo comment, jerk. 😏

thought the blonde as his phone went off with whiny texts from the city's most legendary Fuckboy… texts that he would not be answering :).

##  _And that was only a taste._

## 😏

##  _I’ll show you not to mess with my friends.._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **what if I told y'all there is more?**
> 
> and what if I told you that I will be posting it next week (or in a few days if I'm too eager lol)... in an attempt to maintain some form of posting schedule :) teehee
> 
> please send me your reactions/thoughts! xoxo


	12. EPISODE 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you enjoy this episode as it’s actually one of my favourites so far. 
> 
> Happy reading!

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 9**

* * *

The following morning, Bokuto went to the gym with Akaashi as planned. 

Kuroo tagged along—claiming he needed to go because he ate like shit last night so he had calories to burn off— but really—it was obvious he wanted a reason to walk Akaashi home with Bo. That freaking Raven has not been able to get a certain blonde out of his head so he really needed an excuse to see Kenma again.

Kuroo disguised the reasoning as wanting to “check on Mattsun” when he comes back home from sleeping out; evidently giving him a convenient excuse to wait at the Pretty Boys’ until Kenma woke up. Very smart. 

Matty, hungover as shit but glad he had decent sex last night, left his hook up’s apartment around noon without a goodbye or anything. He back-read the group chat for all the drama he missed last night regarding Kuroo’s date. In particular, he skimmed it all save for the part about his friend being lucky as fuck having been able to escape Kenma meeting one of his past hookups (whoever that is). The Sloth just responded with his usual:

“damn….that’s crazy 😐” 

Before he popped an Advil for his headache.

On the way home, Mattsun stopped to pick up a quick takeout order at Uni Brunchette. Being the caring friend he is he wrote in the group chat telling Bo & Kuroo he’d pick them up some food too. What was supposed to be a quick stop ended up being a long stop because Bokuto & Kuroo apparently wanted Mattsun to pick up breakfast for Akaashi and Kenma too. Mattsun was absolutely certain they didn’t ask them to, and he didn't want to spend any more money, but he had to have their back. 

_“Whipped fucktards,_ ” Matty grumbled under his breath as he swiped his credit card for the meal. His pounding headache from this hangover caused him to be kinda bitchy to everyone that dared crossed the pathway to his bed, including the innocent servers. That's why he tossed an **_extra_ ** 2,000 yen in the tip jar, allowing the tantalizing scent of four savoury breakfast dishes to waft into his nostrils. 

The takeout bar cashier **—who Issei recognized from last night as Akaashi’s Japanese-Lit department friend** — thanked Mattsun for the big tip cheerily. Her name tag read Michimiya. 

Issei saluted her lazily and turned to leave until another Uni Brunchette employee an apron entered the corner of his vision. That baker slid a fresh batch of pastries onto the counter near Michimiya. 

Michimiya giggled as she watched Mattsun’s reaction to the baked goods. 

“I know, right?” She exclaimed, sliding on some gloves in order to start adding the cakes to the display. 

They were fluffy, sphere-shaped pastries, stuffed with a creamy substance, drizzled with chocolate. They looked tasty, but that’s not why Issei couldn’t stop staring at them. 

“I’ve never seen those here before.” Issei answerered the rhetorical question. 

The girl nods. “We don’t sell them—not usually,” she used tongs to carefully add the bakes to the glass display one by one. “There was a special order from this really bougie event yesterday, and they needed these done: no room for debate. They’re French and it was super difficult to make considering the price of ingredients—but the owner didn’t want to lose the business so he caved.” Michimiya laughed. “We had a tiny bit of the ingredients leftover this morning, so the chefs had enough to make one final batch to sell today. _Want one?_ Guarantee you’ll never see them again.” 

Mattsun approached the counter, eyes still glued to the golden dessert. “I want them all. The entire batch.” He had already pulled out his wallet. 

Michimiya widened her eyes “All of them? Like all twelve?” 

The tatted middle blocker nodded. “All twelve.” 

* * *

*******

About an hour later, Mattsun was showered and a few doors down at the pretty boys’ place; a place that seemed way emptier when Hanamaki’s energy wasn’t present. He is still out with Hirugami on their mini bae-cation.

Issei had scarfed down his food in minutes, swallowing one more Advil right after. His head was still pounding, so now he is sipping on some water and people-watching just like the last time he was here. 

Currently, Bokuto and Akaashi are sitting at the glass dining room table, sifting through pages in Keiji’s textbook. Kenma—who had woken up 10 minutes ago even though it was midday—had ventured out into the kitchen like a vampire not long ago. He wore an oversized hoodie that had the hood all the way up. His short legs were on full display, and the sight made Kuroo trip over his own words. 

“G-go-good Mo-morning, Kitte-Kitten!” he tried lamely, cheeks red as he tried to play it cool around Kenma by resting a palm on the tall cupboards. Mattsun tried not to laugh when Kuroo almost missed the cupboard, scarcely avoiding slamming face-first into it.

Kenma, who looked more like a walking hoodie, just proceeded to turn on the coffee maker, ignoring Tetsurō. 

“Yeah I was just at the gym, you know, getting a good pump going.” Kuroo stretched in a T-shape, obvious as hell that he is showing Kenma his biceps. With a straight face, Kozume dodged the arm that was about to hit him.

“I was going to go home after because I have lots to do today, lots of people to see, but Bokuto begged me to go with him when he walked Akaashi home, so--” 

_“--I thought the story was that you came to check on me._ ” Issei smirked--ever the shit-disturber.

Tetsu’s face dropped, imperceptibly grabbing the handle on a saucepan nearby.

“ _Oi._ ‘New Years Baby.’ I have this scientific theory that suggests that if I bang this pot and that pan in your ear it’ll cure your hangover migraine ..? _Wanna be my test subject?_ ” 

Mattsun gave him a thumbs down. “Hmmmmm I'll pass🤔. Last time I was someone's test experiment _I turned out gay_ , so...” 

“Thought so.” Kuroo seethed, immediately brightening when he turned back to the blonde that resides here. “Got you breakfast!” Kuroo exclaimed cheerily. “Akaashi said you haven’t eaten yet! It’s Japanese pancakes which I wanted to grab with you but you didn’t answer any of my texts last night so—“

A voice coming from the walking hoodie interrupted Kuroo. “Stop talking, Kuro. I hate talking before I have my first coffee.” 

Akaashi second that from his spot at the table with Bokuto, “Better listen to him, Tetsurō-san, Kenma is not used to having visitors so early,” 

Tetsu frowned. “Early? It’s 3pm!!!!” Mattsun watched Kuroo turn back to Kenma. “Oh come on, put the claws away, Kitty! I know you’re happy to see me. I—“ 

“Stop talking. Coffee.” The blonde took a gulp of his jumbo cup of coffee. 

“Ouch! That’s no way to treat someone that stayed to check on his date and make sure he ate. Can I at least tell you how good you look this morni—?”

“ _Stop talking. Coffee._ ”

“🥺😩 Kenma—“ 

“Stop talking. Coffee.”

“😓😞 Would you rather I left?” 

The blonde didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, probably.” He refilled his cup of coffee then went straight to his bedroom. He slammed the door.

“Ouch **_again!"_** Tetsu hollered. **"** Okay, Kitten, alright. I guess I’ll leave with my FINGERS that I was going to use to play with your _**hair**_ this morning since you told me on our date that you like _THAT_...” Kuroo called, walking backwards towards the front door. 

Comically, Mattsun watched as the short blonde re-entered the main area from his bedroom, little legs moving quickly until his hand reached out to catch Kuroo’s. 

Kenma yanked Kuroo close without spilling the coffee that was in his hand, leaning in and nuzzling his cheek on Kuroo’s chest. _Up and down up and down,_ just like a real cat. “Kuro,” he purred. “Mmm..stay,” 

Issei had to grit his teeth to keep from laughing as he watched his playboy of a best friend practically combust because Kenma was being affectionate. 

“Okay, I’ll stay🥰🥰🥰” he held Kenma, practically radiating with admiration. Then, Matty realized the exact moment Kuroo realized how he was acting. he shook his head. "I-I m-mean no! Wh-why should I-I-?" 

Getting on his toes, Mattsun could just barely see Kenma pulling Tetsu down by the back of his neck so he could whisper in his ear. From this angle, the blonde's face disappeared behind Kuroo's, but Issei could take a good guess as to what Kenma had said judging by the way his best friend's eyes resembled Bokuto's whenever they told him they were going through the car wash.

That triggered Mattsun to glanced at the studying duo, Akaashi and Bokuto— Kotaro seemingly enthralled with the shared lecture material in the book in front of him--only because that meant Akaashi was _close close close_. Both Bokuto and Kuroo had heavy blushes on their faces, which told the middle blocker everything he needed to know. 

“Whi—pped.” Mattsun whispered to Kuroo when they made eye contact over Kenma’s head. 

“Fuck-off.” Kuroo mouthed back—however, he didn’t deny it. 

And that’s when Mattsun draped the cold compress Bo got him earlier over his eyes because it sort of made him feel ~~jealous~~ iffy to see his friend’s acting like such simps. It is so unlike them, plus, his frontal lobe is actually pounding, so it might be best to check out for a bit. If he wasn’t such a lazy sack of potatoes he’d have left back to his apartment already. 

Kuroo proceeded to sit on the couch beside Mattsun, Kozume quickly sitting on the floor between his legs; eating his pancakes.

Tetsu thought he looked so cute. 

It brought him great joy to thread his hands through the blonde strands that he thinks about more than he’s willing to admit. He also liked the fact that Kenma was eating, because Tetsu wanted the blonde to be as healthy as humanly possible. 

He… _.cared about him._

As Kuroo carded his fingers through Kenma’s soft strands, massaging the scalp and admiring the view of his scale-breakers face, he found himself wanting to do this more. And by this it meant spending so much time with Kenma; being with him the night before and this afternoon. It occurred to the fuckboy that he might be enjoying playing with these locks more than Kenma was. After 15 minutes, Kozume had finished all that he could eat and was now tilting his head into Kuroo’s touch, enjoying this. 

As Kuroo incorporates small swirling circular motions into the scalp massage, Kenma's eyes flutter, about to take a cat nap on the taller’s knee by his cheek. His eyes droop, and he almost does knock out when Tetsu asks him a harmless question about their date next weekend. Kenma doesn’t answer, seconds away from falling asleep but Kuroo can’t see that--so after repeating himself 6 more times, he resorts to gently tugging on Kozume’s hair. Just to get his attention.

_And, damn, did that get the blonde's attention..._

##  _Much to the Raven’s and everyone in the room's surprise; Kenma moaned in response to his roots being pulled._

The sound abruptly snatched the room’s attention; Akaashi dropping his pen 🖊 and even Mattsun who was still laying back like a mummy with a cloth over his face froze. 

Kenma jolted upright, spinning to look up. “Kuro, **what the fuck!?🤬”**

Kuroo—mouth hanging open and (thankfully) hidden dick immediately on rock, tried to stumble out an apology. Except, it came out something like this: “D-did you just…?” 

The Raven was amazed that Kenma had instinctively moaned like that when his hair was pulled. That sound.... does that mean His scale-breaker has a hair-pulling kink?!?!?! _Ohohoho and just when Kuroo thought…. God, his scale breaker is going to be the dea….... wow was this facet of information ever going to dominate his spank bank material…..he—_

“No. I didn’t.” Kenma professed with a fiery blush. He turned back in his original position. 

“I-I— _holy shit, Kenma._ ..” Kuroo spacily reached forward to try and do it again, too horny to care that Akaashi and Bo were watching from their spot at the dining room table because he just **_had_ ** to etch the sound of that gorgeous moan in his brain since he didn’t get to hear it last night when they were dry humping. Kenma’s moan when Kuroo pulled his hair was long and soft and **_loud_ ** considering how quiet the scale-breaker usually is, 

So Kuroo **_NEEDED_ **to produce/hear it again…..

Sensing the phantom-like movement, Kenma spun around and swatted the taller male’s hand away harshly. “I know what you’re thinking, Kuro. Try it again and I will bite your fucking hand off.” The Gamer was more furious at the fact that Kuro had elicited that kind of moan from him, than the actually act itseld--but he too was obviously embarrassed to admit that.

Kenma didn’t know why his hormones responded that way... _or why that felt so fucking good_ …. but If he did have a hair-pulling kink, Tetsurō just helped him discover it. 

##  _🌫_

Unfortunately, Kuroo didn’t really hear that warning about tragically losing a hand, much too busy thinking about fucking the daylights out of the gorgeous man in front of him from behind in front of everyone here, one fist coiled tightly in Kenma’s hair like he was gripping a rope. _His room is right there.._. Kuroo thought.... In his mind, that moan that Kenma let out got louder as he pulled the blonde hair back harder, witnessing Kenma’s beautiful face as he bucked into him. Beautiful lips and ruined tears surpassing golden orbs quivered as Kuroo picked up the pace, when—

##  _🌫_

His dick pulsed in his pants at the daydream. Whatever punishment he might get for eliciting that moan again... it would be; 

“Worth it,” whispered the Raven, using his right hand to pull on Kenma’s hair again. 

Shocked that Kuroo disobeyed his orders but way too good at the game, Kenma held onto the root of his hair to stop Kuro from effectively pulling it and triggering an erotic response. He turned to glare at the soon-to-be-deceased science major. 

“You’re dead.” Kenma stated: matter of fact. “Once I full wake up, Kuro. You’re dead.” 

The Raven started sweating bullets, gearing up to apologize a thousand times. He did not _**ever**_ want to be on the receiving end of Kenma’s wrath. Not again, since his toes were still hurting from when Kenma stomped on it last night after Kuro had kissed him. Of course, the blonde had made all the pain go away when he made out with and ground on him later on, but still--he is well aware of the damage this small man can do. While him, Akaashi and Hana _looked_ like angels, the fuckboys learned very early that --when pissed off--those 'angels' could be anything but angelic. 

**_Especially Kenma._ **

On the opposite end of the apartment, Bokuto and Keiji watch what is unfolding on the large couch. They can see a very lazy sloth sitting on the far left, arms crossed as if he blocking out the sounds to soothe his headache, and beside him they see a scared-shitless-and-apologetic Kuroo, a calm Kenma glaring up at him. 

_Calm Kenma is the worst._

Keiji wants to laugh at this situation but his mood refuses him to, whereas Bokuto looks incredibly conflicted. 

Kōtarō’s bottom lip is trapped between his straight teeth, eyes darting beadily from Kenma to Keiji's back, that is now presented to him because they have turned in the direction of the couch. Kotaro isn't really staring at Akaashi's entire back, per se-- _Mainly, his eyes are metaphorically carving holes into Akaashi’s spiky, glorious, majestic, dark locks._

##  _🌫_

_Soooooo pretty…..Hair pretty…..Pretty Kgaashi…._

_The Owl admires._

_Way too, too…………._

## 😳🤏💆

##  _🌫_

His fingers crePT forward…. Making the distance between his fingers and his Belle's hair smaller and smaller until Bokuto’s hand is _so_ close that it could feel the heat emanating from Keiji’s scalp. Akaashi was still turned to the couch completely. Just before the very tips of the Owl's fingers make a shape to pinch: Kōtarō’s ears were met with a gentle, but albeit _cautionary_ statement: 

##  _“Bokuto-san……_ 🚫😑” 

Immediately retreating the expedition his hand was on, Bokuto let his hand meet back with his pencil, pouting in self-disgust and humiliation.

“Sorry Kaashi…😓” whimpered the baby Owl as he went right back to work, scribbling quickly. 

When Keiji turned to his study partner, he was already giving Bokuto a warm smirk even though the Owl was too guilty to meet his eyes. The model can't remember the last time he'd wanted to downright giggle.

Keiji resisted the urge to let Bokuto know that he’d probably let him do that (hair pulling) one day--perhaps after he asks Keiji out properly when the Ueki thing is behind them—but it just wouldn't be here and it certainly wouldn't be now. 

“Okay, I’m awake.” Kenma mumbled, rolling up his sleeves so that he could pounce on Kuroo. 

Tetsurō looked fucked—not knowing if he should be terrified or turned on by what was about to happen. He caught a glimpse of the fury in Kenma’s eyes when he began to turn back around, though, so Kuroo thought fast: snatching the cold compress off Issei’s forehead beside him, about to throw Mattsun in front of himself as a shield from Kenma’s wrath, when—

“Hmmmmmm _**I’m home**_ bitches!!!” Hana yelled as he bursted through the front door. 

“Hey,” Akaashi greeted, unsurprised and standing up to take Hana’s suitcase and wheel it in. “Welcome home,” 

Mattsun, who had just been feeling miserable especially since Kuroo was about to let him get his eyes scratched out in his name, tried to suppress the overwhelming feeling of excitement that tumbled through his body when he heard and saw the Pinkie. Hiro looked tired and hot with his hair all over the place like he’d just woken up. Issei should have known Hiro was easily susceptible to hangovers, just like him. 

His personality always complimented Mattsun's somehow, and in this case it was that they were both the only two to experience hangovers when none of their friends ever did. 

Makki proceeded to groan as he entered the apartment, kicking off his boots and then passing the empty couches in order to make his way over to the busy couch, dropping down in the middle of Mattsun and Kuroo with a sigh. 

~~Issei noted that his body fell a little closer to him than Kuroo~~. 

Mattsun let his neck roll to the side, smirking down at Takahiro who had rested his head on the couch back in a similar fashion.

“Hey.” he whispered, knowing very well that anything louder than this volume would hurt the Pinkie’s hangover headache.

_Twinning._

The jaded bangs of Hanamaki Takahiro flopped in his face in a devastatingly handsome way when his head rolled to face Mattsun, too. An attractive lazy smile turned his lips upwards.

“Hey, Neighbz.” 

As they stared at each other having a silent conversation about how much feeling like this sucks, Kenma reached over to tugs at Hana’s pant leg like a cat would when they want attention. 

_Kuroo took this time to thank God he can stay breathing another day because of Hanamaki’s entrance._

“Why are you back from your mini vacation. Hiru-san told me he'd be here for a few days……” Kenma then remembered how scared he was to get caught by Kuroo and Hinata last night, recalling that that conversation with Hirugami fell within those adrenaline crosshairs. “Or maybe I was wrong. How was the romantic getaway?” asked the blonde with big eyes. 

“ _ **Terrible!”**_ Makki cried.

_Mattsun hated himself for automatically brightening a bit by the sound of that.._

“I mean....it was nice while it lasted… all, what? 12 hours of it? But terrible too because it was supposed to be a WEEK! Until Hirugami’s **_stupid_ **boss had to call his _**stupid**_ phone and ask for him to _**stupid**_ come back and so we had to _**stupid**_ check out of the cabin early and now I’m _**stupid**_ and I’m back here.” 

“You’re stupid 😁?” Kuroo joked. 

Issei found it so attractive how effortlessly Hanamaki lifted his finger the Raven while continuing to speak smoothly; _the middle one_. “I miss him so much and he finally escapes that stupid office only for his douchebag of a boss to call him in again. I swear to fuck that that CEO can’t even wipe his own ass without needing Hiro to be back in the office before he does. His last 3 visits were cut short because of it, but at least those were shortened by hours or one day!! This? This is fucked, he hasn’t even been here 24 hours! Cause of his dumb boss! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. _Do you reckon I can cast a spell?”_

Mattsun thought back to the full blown smile that was on Hanamaki’s face when he ran into Hirugami’s arms last night. He had been so overjoyed.

Issei compared that to the deep scowl on Hana’s face now, and he couldn’t help but feel terrible—a knot forming in his stomach even though he had nothing to do with it. 

“Aww, that sucks, Hana. I’m sorry,” Bokuto offered.

“Dude: right?! And thanks, I’m sorry- _ **ier**_...” Hiro stomped his foot.

“We can do certain things to cheer you up tonight.” Akaashi interjected. “I’ll make you your favourite warm meal.” 

“—We can watch that stupid entertainment wrestling you like.” Kenma added flatly. 

“Thanks, _**but no thanks**_....” Hanamaki frowned; a visual that Mattsun could have gone his whole life without seeing. Issei was so used to being around his lively, funny, charismatic friend, that he wasn’t prepared by how much it would affect him to see his new neighbour so...distraught. 

“I think I’m just going to spend the rest of the weekend feeling shitty in bed…” Makki finished glumly, sighing. 

The middle blocker beside him couldn’t imagine being in a relationship let alone a long distance engagement, where the person you want to see the most is the person you cannot see. And the worst part is it’s not like he could curse out Sachirou for it and put all the blame on him; because Issei looked in his eyes last night and saw how insanely in-love Hirugami was with his fiancé. It had to take something really serious to rip him away from the handsome Pinkie and this vacation. 

Makki stood up to hibernate in his bedroom, aiming to wallow there. 

However, whatever the excuse--that didn’t take away from how sad Hiru seemed to be right now.

Issei wished there was something he could do for him to cheer him up….

...

_And then it hit him._

“Oi, loser!" Issei called to him, sitting up quickly and ignoring the way his head pounded in complaint. "Wait. Before you go: wait.”

Then, faster than anyone knew a sloth could move, Mattsun bolted out of the apartment. 

Everyone waited, confused. Under a minute later, the tatted man returned with a large bag from Uni Brunchette. Issei placed it on the island and carefully removed its contents, revealing a large royal blue donut box. The entire apartment smelled of heaven as soon as Mattsun opened the box, presenting its contents to Hanamaki who had made his way over. 

## 😯

“Dudeeeee shut the fuck up.” Hiro covered his mouth with one hand. “ _Are those—?!_ ” 

“Cream puffs.” Mattsun nodded, mood on a rapid incline due to the underlying excitement detected in Hanamaki’s voice. “—Or profiteroles or whatever the fuck you call them. Your favourite dessert from that vacation you went on with your fam back in high school, right? Pretty sure these are the ones in the pics you showed me,”

Hana gasped. _**“They sell them here—?!”**_

“Nah,” the brunette shook his head, looking down at the aesthetically pleasing pastries. Mattsun told Hana the story that Akaashi’s friend Michimiya told him about how it was a fluke even encountering them. “The server said that I won’t see these again so I thought, what the heck, and went ahead and bought them all.” Issei shrugged. “ _Here_. Maybe it’ll cheer you up,” 

Hanamaki bit his lip, too shocked to make a move to grab the mouth-watering dessert. “ _Holy fuck Neighbz,_ you—“

## “I want one 🤤!” 

Exclaimed Kuroo and Bokuto in unison, jogging over to snag a piece. 

Mattsun barked at them. “Back off, dick heads. They’re for Makki. And if he wants to share, he can.” 

They whimpered....reluctantly backing off...

Silently, Akaashi walked over to peep into the box: examining.

“Interesting,” the model and amazing home-cook murmured, getting Issei’s attention. “These are made with authentic French ingredients.” He paused, eyes running over the quality puff of the pastry. “Uni Brunchette must have sold these for a fortune, considering Michi-san said the ingredients were expensive."

Again, the Sloth shrugged, arms still holding the beignets like a human display case. “Uhhh….” He looked at the ceiling in thought. “I think it came up to... $60 maybe? Don’t remember.” 

“What—!? Neighbz, I can’t let you do that!! Here, _**let me send you**_ —“ 

“Nope nope—“ 

“Don’t be annoying, I—“

“I was actually voted _Most Annoying_ back in high school. I claim it :)” 

“You dick, that was me. I secretly snuck into your school and entered all those ballots cause I knew I’d meet you in Uni. Now if you wanna prove that you're _**NOT**_ annoying at the reunion, _let me_ —“

“Nuh uh. And if you say you’re gonna pay me for these one more time…. I swear to God I’ll feed them to my dog.” 

“You don’t have a dog, dumbass.” 

“Wanna bet? Hes on my volleyball team and I named him Kyotani.” Matsukawa challenged, making it apparent that he wouldn't lose this argument. 

After a minute, Hanamaki growled. “Fine. _Then I at least owe you one!_ ” 

As the two argued on, Kuroo and Bokuto salivated over the treats, and Kenma retreated back to his room, Akaashi Keiji stood there silently, eyes graduating from studying the gourmet baked goods to studying the man holding them. Akaashi recalled how Bokuto had described Mattsun as a frugal guy, the type that had money but had difficulty spending it. He’d seen it with own eyes, too. 

_So then….why....?_

Out of everyone in that apartment that day— including Matsukawa Issei,

## “ **it”** **clicked to Keiji Akaashi first.**

* * *

An hour later, the fuckboys + Takahiro (Akaashi began cooking and Kenma is hibernating) ate their profiteroles on the couch **(not Matty because he's not big on sweets)** : happiness written all over their faces: including Hanamaki’s.

“Thank you soooooo much Neighbz, you’re literally my fucking hero!!” 

Issei’s stomach flipped at that, but his cognitive dissonance refused to acknowledge it. “Seriously, don't mention it.”

“This tastes…..” Kuroo interjected, only thinking of himself as usual as he slowly chewed the delicious pastry (He and Bo have been gushing over how good the chocolate topped desserts are for the better part of the last half hour)

“These taste... How do I explain it? **Oh!** These taste almost as good as sex feels.” 

Bokuto nodded, face covered in confectioners sugar, and they fist-pounded. They opened it up for Issei as well: who fist-pounded his best friends in agreement. 

Hanamaki, laying back on one couch alone, popped the last bit of his third pastry in his mouth. He hummed happily at the delicious taste of his favourite treat. 

“Really? _Wouldn't know,_ ” the Pinkie stared up at his apartment’s ceiling. 

“Wouldnt know what?” Matsukawa asked.

“Wouldnt know if these bad boys taste as good as sex or not,” 

While Bo & Tetsu chuckled, brushing off Hana’s words as a joke, _Issei didn’t understand._

“What do you mean?” He questioned. 

Hana sighed. “Hirugami and I don’t have sex is what I mean, _dummy._ ” 

Matsukawa choked on air.

He needed Bokuto and Kuroo both to Pat and rub his back as he tried to clear his throat.

“W-what!” Mattsun asked. 

“ _Yeah yeah, **laugh it up.**_ ” Hana waved dismissively in his neighbour’s direction, understanding Mattsun’s cough as an attempt to disguise his laughter. 

Issei head exploded with inappropriate questions.

Luckily, Mattsun had an amazingly unfiltered friend that could get away with asking all the questions Mattsun wouldn’t allow himself to ask.

“Wait. Are you serious, Hana?” Kōtarō scratched his head. 

Hana, still looking up at the ceiling, nodded nonchalantly. “You think I'd joke about missing out on sex.” He yawned. “I mean, we’re not virgins or anything, we’ve done it in the beginning of our relationship ... but years ago Hirugami went on an enlightening trip. He came back all righteous and vegan and he decided that as soon as he knew he wanted to marry me, he wanted to do it right— _like, the way our ancient parents did_ … to ensure a lasting marriage…. so he made a decision for us to stay celibate until the actual wedding. Excuse me while I go cry in: horny.” 

Matsukawa stopped all speech. And thought. And blood rush. 

“Fuck. _How the fuck do you handle that?”_ Kuroo asked.

“I just told you. I go cry in: horny. Often. I mean: I have my hand. And Kash, Ken and I _buy each other toys for Christmas_ , but most of the time I’m just trying to refrain from any sexual activity even with myself just like Hiru does. He really believes that it will help our marriage so I told him I'd try. It's kind of like no-nut November, but like, it's no-nut-December, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, and October as well. I think my record is 3 months...? Cause sometimes I can’t stand it any longer. But, I’m used to it now, so it’s just—“ 

Mattsun blanked _(along with Bo + Kuroo at the mention of Akaashi & Kenma’s **< < toys 👀🍆>>**), _Issei still stuck on trying to fathom how it was possible that any man with a dick that **_likes_** dick wouldn’t have theirs deep inside a man like Hiro 24/7 if given the chance.

Even in his fantasies of him & his extremely hot neighbour Mattsun can’t see himself pulling out; **_let alone never putting it in.!?!?_** Hirugami Sachirou is probably The most sexually-lucky man Mattsun knows, **but the guy doesn’t even….?!**

## 😵😵🤯

Issei tried his hardest to tune back into the conversation since he knew he was the only one listening. 

“...so I was like… fine because I know my fiancé so I’m aware that his intentions come from a pure place, but _duuude_ Me and 'Pure' **don’t** mix. I’m a healthy, young, mid-20s adult male. I don’t push it, well, not all the time-- but sometimes I do slip and send Sachi a dirty text telling him that he can split me open whenever he wants and I let him know that he’s missing out because I give really, really, **_realllllllly_** legendary head.”

Mattsun’s eyes widened: his dick shooting up faster than he knew was even plausible. He felt light-headed by the blood transition, but that didn’t stop him from picturing Hanamaki in that nurse costume on his knees in front of Issei, swallowing around Mattsun’s 9 inches beautifully, and releasing only to tell Matty that he can

##  **💭** **💭** **💭**

_"split my sexy pink ass open whenever you want, Neighbour,"_

before choking on his cock again. 

##  **💭** **💭** **💭**

Dick throbbing uncontrollably, Mattsun crossed his legs in an attempt to hide his semi. When, out of the corner of his eye, he saw his friends do the same thing, he took that as a sign to make up an excuse for the 3 men to leave. 

* * *

When the fuckboys all (separately) jerked off that night, a few times, in fact— to thoughts of a particular pretty boy insight: it subconsciously occurred to Mattsun, Bo, and Ku that their lives have really changed since that fateful day at Uni Brunchette all those weeks ago. 

They reflected on the complete change in the way they achieved their nut now. 

Issei, Kotaro, and Tetsu **went from** being at the height of their sexual prowess, so used to having unattached, selfish sex whenever they wanted--with whomever they wanted—

 **To** unconsciously leaving sex behind to opt for an intense handjob; thinking about deep, emotional, crazy hot sex with one person.

It is like they were completely different people. 

Weeks ago, their Sophomore Year Plan had been to see who got the longest _to-fuck_ list (losers buy drinks for the winner all Junior year), however all three of them have completely forgotten that they even _**had**_ those lists. 

Matsukawa Issei, Bokuto Kōtarō and Kuroo Tetsurō had planned to rely on their dick game all University and probably life-long, using their hot bodies and even better faces to get everything they wanted: opting into lives so easy that it perpetually left them in the winners circle….. an Uni experience for the books........

##  _...but..._

It’s too bad, really:

**That, someone, somewhere, had to throw a wrench in their plans.**

🔧 

🔧 

🔧 

Make that three wrenches; _actually._

* * *

  
  
  
  


* * *

* * *

* * *

##  **ACT II:  
TIMESKIP:  
3 ****MONTHS** **LATER.**

* * *

It is now early December.

Over the course of 3 months, the feelings that the fuckboys have developed for the three pretty boys have grown exponentially whether they were willing to admit it to themselves (Kuroo, Bokuto) **or not;** (MATTSUN). 

  
With a Friendly Boku|Aka and a Friendlier Matsu|Hana

After a vivid morning workout in which the fuckboys met the pretty boys there, the four men toppled into the luxury changeroom of the campus gym. Usually, the boys would workout together on the weekends then go back home, but they needed to squeeze in a Tuesday workout because plans had changed. This meant that they now had class to attend and get ready for. Hana and Akaashi lead the way, heading straight to lockers while Bo and Mattsun trailed slowly behind. Both pairs took part in their respective conversations. 

“Do we have team workout next week?” Mattsun asked KoBo. 

“Yeah! Chest and Tris.” Answered Bokuto, filling up his water bottle then swapping it with Mattsun’s so he could fill his as well. “I’m going to miss it though, remember Matty?”

“Shit. Yeah. Forgot you are leaving with Akaashi on Sunday. What’re you guys going uptown for again?” 

Kotaro, who is usually the shittiest liar in the world but has spent an entire weekend practicing with Keiji in order to keep their scheme to confront Akaashi’s ex’s current wife a secret…. answered quickly. Convincingly.

“Akaashi wants to check out a summer editorial internship there. The company also has the biggest library in Japan.” which is true. 

“Ew: **_reading._ ** That should be cool though,” 

“Yup! Hehe!” The Owl began refilling Hanamaki and Akaashi’s water bottles too.

Issei poked his cheek with his tongue. “Maybe I should tag along with you guys.”

## 😳

## 😳

## 😳

Trying not to show it, Kotaro panicked. “Ummm--”

“Oh shit wait I can't. Coach would never let me miss practice the same time you do... _especially_ considering the amount of time Kuroo asks for off to beg Kenma for dates.”

Bokuto laughed nervously. “Oya, coach would never let you.” 

Mattsun sighed, nodding. “Yeah: sucks. I just feel like I need a vacation too, fuck. I still haven’t been able to get off to sex in _months, so--”_

“But didn't you have really good sex with that one guy that you said Hana wing manned you for?” 

A memory from 3 months ago was stroked. 

Matty nodded. _Bo must be talking about that one night at Uni Brunchette in the beginning of the school year. Back when Kenma and Kuroo first started dating._

 _He barely remembered anything from that night including what his conquest looked like, but Issei_ ** _clearly_ **_recalled that Hiro’s fiance approached him that night, and that Hiro himself looked really handsome._

“Damn, that’s true! What the fuck…..? FML why was I able to orgasm that night and not once since…?!” 

As his voice trailed off, Issei recalled that the reason he'd been able to get off that night was because, as his wingman, Hiro had hyped Issei up--so he wanted that guy to go back to Hana and tell him that he was really good in bed.

 **F** **ucked up?** _Maybe_ \--but that **_did_** help him get his nut, _soo……._ Was Issei really complaining? 

“Whatever.” Issei shrugged, unwilling to admit in public nor private that the real reason why he found his orgasm then is the same reason he is able to find his orgasm when he’s left alone with his hand...and his fantasies. That reason happens to be standing a few feet away, for God’s sake. 

_“Maybe I just need some new ass….”_ Mattsun tried to convince himself. He is still very much in denial about his feelings for Takahiro; equating it just being a human _He found Makki hot: **everyone** knew that. Issei saw that as okay. Hell, didn't Hana even say that was okay in their convo on the stairs that day...?_ “Maybe my dick is tired of the same people from campus and it just needs a vacation. Maybe my dick needs some really hot, foreign a--”

“What does ‘a--’ mean??” Bokuto, who’d been listening while he dipped down to coat his head in cold water, raised that same head when Mattsun's voice cut off like that. He turned to his friend inquisitively and stopped, seeing that the sloth’s jaw was currently slack. Mattsun was staring away from Kotaro, into the changeroom. 

“What is it?” Bo looked over immediately in the direction Matty’s eyes were glued to, too, never wanting to be left out.

As soon as he did so, though: his facial expression matched that of his best friend’s. 

_because standing over there across the changeroom…._

##  _stood two smoking hot men ( ~~that two taller other smoking hot men may or not have feelings for~~ ), currently stripping down to nothing while they chat. _

The world stopped for the fuckboys as they watched their respective 6’0 man remove their shirts, exposing lithe back muscles and creamy skin. Akaashi reached in his locker to collect two caddies and towels, passing Takahiro what looks to be a bottle of liquid soap. Hanamaki grabbed it while giving his thanks before they both hooked their thumbs in the waistlines of their shorts.

_Yes………._

🙏

Mattsun thanked the heavens as he instinctively licked his lips, impatiently waiting to see Makki pull down his shorts in prep for a shower. He had forgotten that since they had class that meant they had to take showers: showers that included wearing no clothes.

Mattsun resisted the urge to groan when Hanamaki's insanely sexy back dimples became visible, the middle blocker desperately wanting to see more... when Bokuto shouted. 

“Agkaaaaashi! WHY ARE YOU DO—!?”

Acting quickly, Mattsun slapped a hand over the Owl’s mouth before Bo could get most of that sentence out, making it so nothing was really heard besides muffled sentences. He pulled them so that they now were hidden from the pretty-boys' view by a tall row of lockers. 

Body pressed behind him, Mattsun growled in his friend’s ear. “KOBO! Shut the fuck up, dude.” 

The answer was muffled, but Matty understood his best friend all the same: “But Akgaashi can’t—“

Before Bokuto resorted to licking his best friend’s fingers over his mouth like he has been notorious for since they were kids, Mattsun explained quickly in a hushed tone. 

“Yes, **He _can_.** Me, you, and Kuroo change in here _all the **damn** time, _ remember? This is a 🌈 _ **chaaaaaaaangeroooooooom**_ 🌈 **.** A men’s changeroom at that-in which _**WE**_ …. We meaning Me and you…. **And** Makki and _Kaashi._ .. are all **_men_**. They can strip in here. **We all can just like when the team does it after every game.** Believe it or not, it doesn’t become inappropriate just because you want to bang one of the dudes in here that's doing it. **_Don’t_ **make it weird.” 

“Bokuto-san? Did you call me?”

As soon as Mattsun finished explaining, Keijis curious voices bounced off the empty walls.

Kōtarō failed to refrain from licking his friend’s hand after Mattsun called back. “No, he’s fine! He thought he forgot his combination again but I helped him Akaashi.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

When the pretty boys went back to talking, Mattsun released a flustered Kōtarō, examining his slobbered palm in disgust. 

_“Bro!”_

“Sorry Matty,” Kobo apologized sincerely, “ _Force of habit._ You’re right. Thanks. That could have been really embarrassing.” He bowed several times fast.

Issei patted his Owl’s shoulder, wiping the spit there. “ _All good,_ buddy…” 

In the almost empty changeroom, the two fuckboys heard the distinct sound of two showers turning on.

“Come on. Let’s go shower before we're late for class and Kuroo bitches at us again.”

As he spun his friends shoulders around, Mattsun tried _not_ to feel guilty about wanting to wring the grey haired’s neck for... well, for making him miss his chance to possibly see Hanamaki Takahiro naked. 

Issei made the action anyway, knowing KoBo couldn't see it.

_Engaged, engaged, engaged,_ The middle blocker chanted to himself, _**knowing**_ that there was _**no way**_ he was going to get through this shower without thinking about Hana stripping now. 

Sometimes, Issei Matsukawa thought as he headed toward the stalls:

##  _sometimes he hated his life. _

He **_especially_ ** hated his life when, 5 minutes later in a shower stall two doors down from where a Pinkie is showering, his hancutexy neighbour _who is ***REMINDER*** also engaged _ and w _ho is ***REMINDER*** also his really good friend _….asked Issei the most troubling question Issei has ever been asked in a long time. 

Issei actually got shampoo in his eyes upon hearing it.

“Wait, what?” He called over the sound of jetting water, his eyes stinging incredibly. 

_Over in the next occupied stall,_ we see a wet Hanamaki casually scrubbing his shoulders under his own shower.

 _“Dude, I said….”_ Steam cover the rest of his figure. “Since Akaashi is leaving this week with Bo.... and Kenma will be busy going to that gamer thing with Ku…. then maybe you could help me with some wedding shit,” 

_Camera cuts to a wet & tatted, Matsukawa , diligently rubbing his eyes under the running water to rid them of soap. _

“ _Some wedding shit…”_ Mattsun repeated. 

_Camera cuts to a wet Hanamaki squeezing some face wash onto his face cloth then rubbing it in._

“Yeah. I mean, Ken and Akaashi are doing most of it, along with my sisters and my mom…. But the small stuff pretty much falls on me and so _**really**_ want to check out this sale this weekend at the mall. They say I have bad taste so I just need one other opinion on the things I choose n’ shit,” 

_Camera cuts to a wet & tatted Matsukawa, finally rid of the soap in his eye, giving the finger to his at-fault shampoo bottle. He glared at the inanimate object._

“Uh, sure.... I dont know much about weddings, though, so I can't promise I won't give shit advice--”

_Camera cuts to a wet Hanamaki splashing water on his face,_

“Dude, give me some fucking credit. You're like one of my best friends now. I know you're as bad as me when it comes to stuff like this. I wouldn't let you give me advice on anything that **_mattered._** **_I’m_** not even allowed to touch any of that; that’s all only bae and Akaashi... but, I'm asking cause there's a sale and my roommates won't be to go with me... and what I'm picking up has nothing to do with the wedding, so yeah.” 

_Camera cuts to a wet & tatted Matsukawa, doing the sign of the cross under the running water because he really didnt want to **think** about Hanamaki’s wedding. _

“Oh. Okay. Then yeah, sure. I’m free. I’ll go with you.”

_Camera cuts to a wet Hanamaki grinning under the water._

“Bet. Thanks. So Sat at 6?” 

_C_ _amera cuts to a wet & tatted Matsukawa, now trying to squeeze out the end bit out of his practically empty conditioner bottle. He grits his teeth and shakes it to no avail, then resorts to squeezing the bottle with both hands, trying to get some out. Nothing come out, so he flips the spout upwards in unintelligent hopes that if he squeezes now something might come out: _ _🤡_

“ _Errrr_ ……okay….. _errr_ …...” Sounds escape Issei as he squeezes with all his might, remembering that he is having a conversation with Hana. “That's-- _errrr_ \---good. W-What do you need my--errr--opinion on though?” 

_Camera cuts to a wet Hanamaki coolly laughing at Issei's noises and washing his hair with purple shampoo._

“--nothing big"

He casually scrubs at his ends.

##  _"--just need someone to help me select my lingerie for my honeymoon, is all.”_

## 💥

## 🧴🚿

_The camera quickly cuts to a wet & tatted Matsukawa, suddenly coating himself with the magically appearing conditioner because the contents had finally squeezed out. Issei had closed his eyes just in time, but as luck would have it: none of the white creamy substance made it to his hair, emptying the last bit of the bottle and going straight down the drain. _

_Ohoho,_

Matsukawa thought sarcastically as he shook his head: positively irritated. 

_What the FUCK did he just agree to?_

Issei wanted to punch the wall.

 _This must be Karma for not having the same reaction as the ideal gentleman Bokuto; instead wanting to watch Hanamaki change for perverted reasons a few moments ago,_ he deduced.

 _“I mean…. Come onnnnnnnnnnn.” I_ ssei mouths to himself under the water. His muscular arms raising as if he’s whining to the heavens.

 _ **“Lingerie ?!?!”** _ Issei mouths, a look of despair crossing his face under the streams of warm water.

##  **_“LINGERIE ?!?!??!?!?!”_** ****

_He mouthed again, clutching his heart. His mind was screamingggg at him._

**_I’M GOING TO SPEND THE ENTIRE WEEKEND ...SEEING THE HOTTEST MAN I’VE EVER KNOWN TRY ON LINGERIE..... LINGERIE THAT ANOTHER MAN THAT IS NOT ME WILL ENJOY TAKING OFF......LINGERIE THAT I WILL PROBABLY JERK OFF TO THE THOUGHTS OF UNTIL I GRADUATE? BECAUSE IT'S ON THE SEXIEST GUY I'VE EVER MET?!_ **

Yeah….. 

Sometimes, Issei Matsukawa thought as he dramatically faked bashing his head against the shower walls, 

##  _sometimes he hated his life. _

  
  





**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **PLEASE BE AWARE that the next few chapters will be the beginning of the end,  
> **  
>  a.k.a: _ACT II._
> 
> **  
> _  
> _Be prepared for drama, drama and some _more_ drama, as well as a finale you will never forget._  
> _  
> **
> 
> **  
> _  
> _thank you for reading! xo_  
> _  
> **
> 
>  **UPDATE:** pls lol I hope I didn’t give anyone the wrong impression. Although the next episode (ep.10) will be the beginning of the end, Act II should be just as long as everything you’ve read thus far. The fic isn’t going to end quickly/rushed. I was simply pointing out that it’s reached its 2nd Act which is the Act with all the climaxes as well as the conclusions. This fic should end at episode 20, so as long as you guys want me to/show interest I will post it :)


	13. EPISODE 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!<3 uggggh I lowkey wish I could just drop out of grad school and write this story all day.... it's very self-indulgent and I love it
> 
> **there is remarkable art in this chapter that spoke to me AGAIN, so please be advised that the artist gave me permission and you can find their work at @/thesketchykim on Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram. ******
> 
> **  
> **word count: also 10K  
> **  
>  Welcome to ACT II & Happy reading!**  
> 

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 10**

* * *

**“Are you sure you don’t want me to sit here with you, Kaashi?” Asked the world’s sweetest Owl for the third time.**

The gorgeous model shook his head from where he sits in this upscale, but empty cafe. He is glancing up at the world’s sweetest Owl through his dark lashes, wearing a soft expression only reserved for him.

Bokuto gulped, those gunmetal blue eyes making his knees weak every time. “Erm…” he blushed foolishly, wishing he was strong enough to look away. “Okay! I’ll go down the street to pick up some souvenirs for Matty and Kuroo! I’ll be back when you text me letting me know you’re done!” 

Keiji smiled with his eyes, nodding before looking down at his drink. He hasn’t said a word since the two had woken up in their hotel room this morning--separate beds--the day feeling much to intense for words. Why? Well, because today is the day Akaashi is meeting up with none other than his ex’s current wife. 

Today is the day he would tell her everything. 

Bokuto studied his Belle, heart sinking because there was nothing else he could do to make his crush feel better. Akaashi acted, dressed, and appeared like he was about to attend a funeral--adorned in all black from head to toe--looking beyond beautiful: eyes looking beyond sad. He watched Akaashi’s delicate but masculine hands tremble around the cup of tea. The barista had brought it earlier when the two of them were sitting to calm the brunette's nerves, but Akaashi didn't like the tea here at all so it didn't do its job. Now, Bokuto had to leave before this meet-up.

Of course, three months of (more or less) staring at someone and spending an incredible amount of time with that person-- caused Kotaro to become accustomed to Akaashi’s cute habits: one being tugging on his own fingers mindlessly and/or fidgeting with his hands daily… However, in all of that time spent noticing Keiji’s adorable hand-centred habits, _storing them for later when he needs to get himself out of emo mode_ \-- Bokuto has **never once seen Keiji’s hands downright** **_tremble._ **

He didn’t want to leave his Belle like this--so nervous and apprehensive--but deep down Kotaro knew he had to let this happen. Even though Kotaro wasn’t certain that this was the best decision (he doesn’t like that Akaashi may be seen as a homewrecker instead of what he really is; a victim of the situation)...over the course of three months, Keiji has shown more and more certainty that this is what he needs to do in order to move forward and let his toxic relationship go.

And Bokuto trusted Akaashi, so he would support him. 

As Kotaro stood there thinking this over, one of those trembling hands moved from where they caressed the white mug to hold onto Kotaro’s. 

“Bokuto-san,” the brunette called gently, pulling Bokuto out of his own head. 

Bokuto’s eyes flew from the hand up to those unfairly beautiful eyes. Now it was him who couldn’t speak, so instead, he made some type of murmuring sound so that the model knew he was listening. 

“I _am_ nervous. But that is as to be expected. I need to do this alone, and although I am anxious; I am ready.” Akaashi gave the larger, stronger hand in his a squeeze. “You’ve been with me every step of the way, and because of you, I am fortunate enough that this is the **_only_ ** part I need to do alone. I am okay with that because of your unwavering support.” Akaashi released his other hand from around the mug so he could engulf Bokuto’s one hand in them. Bokuto’s breath hitched then, and then again when Akaashi said, 

“You being here is my strength.” 

Hearing (and seeing) that extra reassurance that Keiji would be alright this afternoon is evidently what allowed Bokuto to go against his better judgement and leave Akaaashi in the cafe. 

He floated through the aisles of a nearby store, unable to keep his attention on anything that he wanted to bring back for his best friends. He’d have to bring Keiji back here with him when this is all said and done to help him choose, but for now, all he could think about was how this ordeal that used to seem so far away but is now present time--would affect Keiji. Is he making the right decision doing this? KoBo took out his phone to text the group chat. If it’s not Akaashi, then texting his friends--even if he could not disclose what was really happening here--always made him feel better. Ku and Mattsun were already having a heated discussion there, mainly Ku trying to calm Mattsun down because today is the brutal day he agreed to help Hanamaki select his honeymoon lingerie.

Kotaro glanced at the top of his screen before sending a message, his heart dropping because the time displaying 12:03 pm meant that Ueki Viha, stay-at-home mom extraordinaire, was about to get the shock of her life. 

* * *

***

With Matsu|Hana

“Okay, so this is the first one. Yes, maybe, or ‘Hiro rip that shit up right now and get thrown in mall jail just so that no other person _attempts_ to buy it’?” Hiro gave the options as he slipped out of his changeroom. 

Mattsun coughed to hide the groan that threatened to escape his throat when he looked up at his neighbour. He had been in the middle of responding to Bokuto’s random text in the group chat, adding to Kuroo's dumb advice about his gay panic--when Makki re-entered the waiting room. 

Issei’s eyes scanned his friend from toe to head, that shiny red emphasizing the pink in Hiro’s hair so well that it made Issei’s dick twitch in interest. Not that his dick hadn’t been hard since they began picking lingerie out in the store; Issei picturing Makki in everything the mannequins had on before they even entered the store...

 _Good times,_ Issei told himself sarcastically; envious of the version of himself from 15 minutes ago that was just turned on by made-up thoughts of Makki dressed in next to nothing--as opposed to the version of himself right now: horny out of his mind because Takahiro really **_is_** dressed in next to nothing in front of him. 

The slink dress Makki wore now was appropriate enough that his body wasn’t showing fully, however it was sure as hell short enough that the legs that Matsukawa thinks about when he wants to get himself off fast ~~or when he’s fucking other guys~~ are on full display. 

Hiro chuckled at his reflection, using the mirror on the door to judge how he looked.

Although the changeroom was obviously in its own area, separated from the rest of the store, Hiro’s stall was still one of many. The row of changerooms hosted a few people in here too, maybe 10 others; some trying things on and some waiting to give their opinions like Issei is--yet Hanamaki still stood there in lingerie like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

Through the reflections in the dozens of mirrors, Matty could see other guys in here sneaking glances at the super hot and super vulgar Pinkie… but said Pinkie could not care less.

Too bad that only turned Issei on even more.

Hanamaki stood there pulling the outfit up, down, and over: checking himself out in the mirror briefly without a care in the world. For the past two months, Mattsun has tried to justify that the confidence Hanamaki exuded from the moment he met him was the driving force behind his attraction to him-- _and it was definitely one of them_ ; but who was Mattsun kidding. Who was he kidding when he really was about ready to hump the air because those legs in front of him made him feel like he was going into rut, just like Kuroo annoyingly predicted. _And, god, are those freckles above Makki’s left knee….?_

Makki snapped thrice in the air to get someone’s attention, directed at the tatted gentleman’s face. 

“OI. NEIGHBZ. Do you like this? You think Gami will like this or what?” 

Mattsun almost rolled his eyes at the question. 

**_Do I like this …he's asking? Uh…._ ** **Does my dick throb EVERY TIME you bend over to pick something up!???**

**Of course!**

Mattsun wanted to say that, but, as always, he kept all horny thoughts about his engaged best friend to himself. At least he didn’t have to keep it a secret that he found Hanamaki attractive--everyone, including Makki already knew this; making that fact clear months ago in their building stairwell. Makki didn't care because he thinks that Issei finds him attractive the same way Issei finds Kuroo and Bo objectively attractive. Yeah--right.

“ _God,_ yes.” Issei nodded, answering a bit more enthusiastically than he might have liked to--but _come on._ **_Can you blame him?_**

"Kay. I'm trying the next one."

Taking a few steps back so he can sit down on one of the waiting chairs directly in front of Makki’s changeroom, Mattsun sighed. He made sure to strategically place the large bag containing a box of the new kicks he'd purchased on his lap, effectively shielding his growing bulge from his friend and anyone else in here. 

Even if Issei had to put the bag down at some point he would have been fine as he had come incredibly prepared: wearing his tightest briefs that restricts his hard-on from showing, tapered joggers, and his longest shirt that almost reaches mid-thigh. 

Those had been Kuroo’s idea, and Issei was weirdly grateful that his friend had a lot of experience doing this ever since he started dating Kenma.

The door swung open again. 

“Yes, no, or ‘torch the fucker?’” inquired Hana, staring at himself in the mirror disapprovingly. 

Mattsun's mind changed the question to whether he was down to have sex right now. So obviously, the answer was a resounding “Yes.” 

***

“And what about this?” Hana spun once, showing off another set of lingerie. “It’s a little embarrassing but he might like it for one of the nights to spice things up? I doubt it’ll be on long...”

_( ~~makki is wearing nude liners under everything he tries for sanitary purposes~~ )_

##  _This world is so fucking cruel._

Issei crossed and uncrossed his legs, trying to get his semi in a better position without making it obvious that he is trying to get his semi in a better position. 

“Mhm. Yup. Yep.”

“Yes pile?” Makki asked brightly. 

“ _Yes……. pile_ …...?” Mattsun repeated distractedly, meaning to ask it as a question but it came out like a breathy affirmation. He was much too focused on the muscle definition on Makki’s exposed skin to make anything coming out his mouth coherent at this point. He’s pretty sure his phone had dropped on the floor at some point around outfit #5 and it has not been retrieved ever since: that’s how far gone he is. 

“I told you you have to say Yes, Maybe, or ‘feed it to that spider from that movie we watched last week.’ So which one, dummy?” 

“Oh. **Yes**.” 

“Okay. Cool.” Hiro smiled, disappearing into the changeroom once more. 

***

“Should I ditch the top and show a bit more skin? Wear something like.......” he lifted his own t-shirt that he wore here. “these?”

The middle blocker’s eyes squinted on their own volition. He resisted the urge to bite his lip, wanting nothing more than to act on his fantasies and rail Makki in that changeroom behind him while he wears that. Mattsun's entire body tingled with desire, fantasizing about ripping a hole in those shorts just big enough for his dick so that he can go to town on that remarkable ass. The Pinkie looked too fucking good, and if Issei didn’t selfishly want to see Makki in as many of these outfits as possible--he would have already told Hiro that he should just put all the outfits in a bag, allow Mattsun to blindfold him--and then have Hiro select one that way. He could do that because no matter what he chose in here, Issei couldn’t picture a scenario in which Hirugami wouldn’t be tripping over himself to place a ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign on their hotel room door. 

_That’s definitely what Matsukawa would do if the world was fair and Hiro was dressing up for him._

Makki looked cute as fuck to Issei: his pink bangs tied in a mini ponytail above his head so that they weren’t in the way. The hairstyle made him resemble a turnip of sorts, but that only served to display more of his handsome face to Issei, so Issei loved it. 

“Yeah, definite-definitely m-more ski-skin.....” he nodded, eyes glued to the slit of toned stomach showing in the centre of Makki’s torso.

Hiro rolled his eyes. “You better not bitch out and not tell me when I look bad in something, neighbour. I can take criticism you know.” 

Issei paused, feeling accused. "Do I look like a punk bitch to you?" 

"I don't know." the Pinkie snapped back. "Tell me how you really feel, then,"

Issei paused again, considering the weight of those words. He shrugged, dismissing those thoughts and just answered,

“Objectively speaking, you’re hot as fuck, Hiro. That's it.” He shrugged again. “I’m not trying to overstep, just telling the truth here, so....” 

“Shut up,” Makki answered, blushing angrily. He stomped back into the change room without another word.

***

“What about—“ 

“Holy fuck, Hiro............”

“Okay. You’ve said yes to literally every piece of lingerie, dude. My yes pile is higher that that return-to-display pile over there!” Hiro stared at his friend pointedly as he pointed to the pile of clothes near the entrance of the changerooms. The friend-- _that’s Matty_ \--struggled to hear him because he was having a hard time keeping his breathing steady as he eyed his crush’s **skirt. It was disallowing proper brain function.** _Fuck. So much leg._

“Neighbz.” 

Issei bit his bottom lip unconsciously, going into the dreamland Bokuto seemed to go to ever since he first laid eyes on Keiji. 

“Neighbz.” 

Only, Mattsun’s dreamland consisted of far fewer butterflies and rainbows like Bokuto’s… filled instead with more ropes and throaty cries to: ‘ _don’t stop, Mattsun!’_

 ** _“Issei!”_ **Hanamaki stomped his foot and crossed his hands over his chest. “You said you would help me! I knew you were a lazy son of a bitch but, dude… am I making you _that_ bored that you can only give one answer? Should I just stop?” 

_Stop...?_

Issei ripped himself away from Hanamaki dreamland when he heard the word.

 _Hiro wants to stop? He thinks Mattsun wants him to stop…?_

##  _**Stop???** _

_AS IN, stop quite possibly the best day of Matsukawa’s life_ _that didn’t involve sex_ _because the man of his dreams is trying on fuck-hot sets in front of him?!!!!!_

“No. No. I-I’m fine. Promise, I’ll get serious now.” _at least Hana thought that he was just saying yes because he was bored and not because every set really **WAS** a yes. _ “My bad, Hiro. Please, continue.” 

“So you don’t want to call it off and I just come back with Ken & Kaash next week? We can go catch a movie or something instead...” 

Issei shook his head, making sure to keep his eyes at Makki’s. “Nah! I want to help. I’ve been paying attention. Swear.” 

Hana was still not convinced.

“So which one out of the 7 that I just tried on did you like the most, then? Since you were paying attention?” 

Issei pretended to think about it for a moment, his famous shit-eating grin returning. The middle blocker placed his hands behind his head and leaned back in the comfy leather chair. His lifelong motto of: ' _When in doubt; make a joke.'_ sounded off in his ears, telling him what he needed to do. It worked for him his entire life and it wasn't about to fail him now.

 _“Hm....”_ Issei’s sexy grin grew wider. “ _You know_ ... maybe you’re right. I don't know which one I liked best so I think I need you to try them all on one more time so I can give a _truly_ informed opinion. Go a size down while you’re at it and maybe try them on twice more, actually. _I have a bad memory._ ” He winked, letting Hiro in on the fact that he was more than enjoying himself right now.

Makki gasped and instinctively turned to grab any garment he could find to whip it at Issei’s laughing face. Issei laughed harder when Hana hissed, “You’re a little shit, you know that? I’m gonna get you evicted from our building.” 

Happy to have gotten out of that one, Mattsun watched joyously as Makki slammed the door to the dressing room whilst pouting. 

_He’s so fucking cute,_ Mattsun thought, still chuckling as he removed the garment from his face. He stopped laughing abruptly, however, because he had recognized what was thrown at him as one pair of underwear Hanamaki had tried on first. 

And if anybody asks—no, Issei did _**not**_ look around for prying eyes before leaning in and savouring his neighbour’s delicious, lingering scent. 

_No, No way._

* * *

***

Back at the practically empty, barely lit cafe, Akaashi Keiji slid the tissues that he’d been holding onto out of his breast pocket, handing it across the table. He offered the paper encouragingly, seeing that the woman on the other end of the table was unsure of whether she wanted to take anything from the man or not. 

Akaashi and Viha Ueki were sitting across from one another, tears in both sets of eyes, staring at each other like neither knew what life was anymore. Being prepared for the shattered expression behind the woman’s eyes--the same ones he’s seen in the mirror when he looked at himself--Akaashi frowned. 

“I cannot begin to express to you how sorry I am,” Keiji interjected… being very careful of his word choice, just like he’d planned with Kotaro. 

By the time Keiji finished his sentence, the woman was crying hysterically, shoulders shaking violently as she gripped the edge of the brown table for purchase. The model resisted leaning over and holding the shaking hand like he had done to Bokuto two hours before. 

“I’m so sorry, ma'am… If I knew I would have never…” 

The woman shook her head. “ _The g-girls_ ….” she stuttered, needing a minute to get out a few words. Keiji gave her all the time in the world. _“H-he… how could he…”_ The woman just kept shaking her head as large tears the size of blueberries rolled down her cheeks. 

Keiji was well aware that himself, the woman across from him, and two innocent little girls were going to be destroyed by this ordeal. It hurt him beyond words. Although, a part of him was relieved that the woman had not been in denial anymore like she had been a while ago; accusing Akaashi of being a liar and a slut--superseded now by the depression stage.

When the denial stage was in full effect, Keiji hadn’t taken any insult to heart just like Bokuto prepared him to--only reacting by taking out & presenting the woman with an album of pictures--ranging from racy text screenshots, blurred selfies, and even the latest text that Ueki sent him last week: begging for Akaashi back because he doesn’t love his wife. Keiji had compiled everything in a binder, handing it over to the older woman so she could get the full picture. He didn’t want to hurt her and of course, he had never intended to show some of the intimate texts to anyone at the time they were sent--but he just didn’t see any cause in leaving this conversation with blurred lines. He and Bokuto drove hours away from home to be here--he lied to his roommates for the first time to be here. **This had to be done the correct way or else what was the point?**

“I know I might be the last person you want to talk to after this, but if there is anything I can do for you or the girls: please do not hesitate to ask. None of you deserved this. If only I had realized sooner--and I should have told you sooner, I--”

“No.” the woman growled--that ‘no’ being the only thing she **hasn't** said in a shaky voice since sitting down. She dropped a clenched fist on top of the receipt-binder. “No.” she restated, “You are **not** going to let my husb…. _that man_ … let you think that any of this is your fault. I refuse. Listen. _**I**_ was the other woman to the relationship he was in back in college and I never told her even though I knew. When I found out he was seeing someone else i continued--not choosing to leave like you did because Ueki promised that he would never let it happen again because I was the one for him. Everyone told me he would do this one day but I chose to trust him: and look where that got me. The point is: I **_knew_** and didn’t leave, nor tell her: you **_didn’t_ ** _know_ and chose to do BOTH. That makes you a wonderful young man, Akaashi… That makes you someone that didn't do anything wrong. What are you, 22, 23?” 

“21.” 

Viha’s eyes softened. “Thought so. Only 21 yet so strong. Please don’t ever blame yourself. You were strong enough to come all the way down here to ensure that my kids didn’t grow up being lied to… You did what I wish I was able to do all those years ago when I was 21. Because of you, I can get out while the girls are still young. I owe you their future just as I owe you mine…." the woman picked up Akaashi’s hand in hers, smiling through her tears at the brave young man in front of her. While devastated, shocked, crushed, and just about every other poor emotion one wife can feel when told that their husband of 15 years has been cheating on her with a man 15 years younger than herself--Viha was determined to not let this same man ruin another person’s life. She could see the regret, pain and honesty behind Akaashi’s gunmetal blue eyes, and she’d be damned if she let another person’s 20s be strongheld by her husband’s actions and lies. Just like her twenties had been. “It’s not your fault, Akaashi. It’s not your fault at all…” She repeated, shaking her head as she tried to keep herself from wailing. She’d do that _**after** _she confronted her soon-to-be ex-husband tonight. 

The model let a few tears slip out now--not tears of sadness but tears of repose-- finally feeling relinquished of the guilt he’s been holding onto since the breakup. _Deep down he knew it:_ but hearing that he is not at all to blame from another good person that wasn’t just Kenma, Bokuto or Hanamaki (people who might have felt obligated to say that)… caused a huge weight to lift off the brunette’s chest. 

##  _For the first time in years: he felt like he could breathe again._

….And even though he was in immense pain for the woman and her daughters that would soon be thrown in the whirlwind that comes with an unexpected divorce, Akaashi had never felt so light. 

“Thank you for saying that.” he smiled weakly, but sincerely nonetheless.

**

The stay-at-home mother and the Literature student held their place in the dark cafe for another hour, comforting each other and exchanging numbers in the end. _It was strange:_ but they somehow found solace in the fact that they had both been shattered by the same terrible man. They found solace in the fact that they both left (or are about to leave) the same terrible man. They had actually lost track of time before Viha’s phone sounded with an alert. 

“I must go pick up the girls from school.” The woman frowned, obviously not looking forward to putting on a fake smile for her children. 

“Will you be alright?” Keiji questioned, helping Viha pack her things by handing her the binder with all the receipts. She had said that she wanted them to show her girlfriends, and Akaashi had no issue with that. “Do you think you might be too emotional to drive?” 

The clear concern in the college student’s eyes melted the older woman’s heart. She shook her head. “No. No, I have a driver. Don’t even worry about that or me anymore, Akaashi. I have planned my escape for years in case something like this happened again. Call it an insurance plan.” She stood up, hooking a mint Balenciaga purse over her shoulder. She paused before leaving. “Thank you. _Again._ ” 

Keiji nodded, taking another one of those deep breaths that felt like they nourished his mind, body and soul in a way that can only be described as holistically eurphoric. He hadn’t felt so much like himself in what felt like years. Even though the conversation was the hardest one he’s ever had to have in his life—Akaashi felt genuinely happy with his decision to have it.

He stood up to embrace the woman in a parting hug, telling her one last time that if she or the girls needed anything he would make himself available.

Akaashi sat down when she left, his hands trembling around the gross & cold tea again because he couldn’t believe he did it.

The freshman took a major leap in the name of his morals, and the model hadn’t a doubt in the world that he made the right choice. He could finally live life again and let go of his toxic ex: all because he made the right decision to come here.

Or…. _ **Did he?**_

Akaashi wasn’t so sure when every hair on his body stood up not a moment later.

His hairs did this, because, after he watched Viha wrap her scarf around her neck tightly and leave the cafe— **another man met her at the door.**

“Where have you been, V?!" snarled the voice between clenched teeth. "You lied to me this morning and said you’re going to see your sister and now you’re here? Why haven’t you been answering any of my texts for the past **3 hours**!?” None other than Ueki stood there, growling at his much smaller wife with rage behind his eyes. “Are you meeting up with someone, _**you whore?** _When you should be picking up the girls?! Made me check your location and leave in the middle of a meeting to see what the fuck you're doing..!?” He gripped Viha’s wrist when she tried to get away.

Keiji was frozen in his seat but he stared in absolute horror as he saw the remnants of his horrible past now standing in front of him. Closer than he had been in the mall that day.

Viha ripped her hand away from Ueki again, not even hesitating to slap her husband across the face. The impact was so hard and so loud that the 3 people in the cafe gasped, stopping their conversations/coffee orders to immediately fall silent. Akaashi’s ex’s head remained turned to the side it was whipped in, hand flying up to touch his aching cheek.

It was Viha's turn to snarl now.

“Listen you cheating piece of shit😡. Don’t you **DARE** touch me like that again, you hear me?!” The menacing growl that Viha fired back at her husband made both Ueki and Akaashi wince, confusion and shock taking over Ueki’s face.

“Wh-what are y-you EVEN—?” He tried, but it was clear to everyone (by the businessman's expression and tone of voice) that Ueki had been caught. “ _Viha,_ I w-wou never—“

Viha, thinking only of picking up her daughters right now: took a step back in the doorway so that it was wide open. The winter air gushed in, making Keiji shiver for more reasons than one. Viha opened the binder she’d been holding just a crack, aggressively ripping out a random page from the book. She crumpled up the paper in one hand and then proceeded to daringly stuff the ball of receipts in her husband’s open mouth.

“Do **NOT** contact me or the girls unless you have a lawyer present, **Phillip.** We are leaving tonight and we won’t be back until all your shit is out of **our** house.” Like a bad bitch, Viha then stormed out—heels clicking on the ground in the wintery afternoon.

Everyone watched in awe as the door slammed shut, bouncing a few times before closing for good in his face--leaving Ueki inside. He stared out the door for a few moments until his wife was in the back seat and the car pulled away. It was then and only then that the businessman motioned to remove the paper that had been stuffed into his mouth, a string of saliva following the page and all.

With a stone-cold face, the man slowly unravelled the crumped-up receipt, his eyebrows joining in the middle as he tried to make sense of what was on the paper. Neither Viha nor Akaashi had any idea which paper she ripped out to stuff into Ueki’s mouth, but realistically it didn't matter—not when every page in that binder consisted of undeniable proof that Akaashi was not making up the man’s affair with him.

Holding his breath, Keiji watched as the man’s eyebrows separated, shooting up his forehead instead in understanding.

_It was clear the moment he understood; the moment it dawned on him that he had just lost his family; that he had just been caught and there was no coming back from this._

...

The next few minutes happened in somewhat of a blur: what with the businessman realizing that his wife must have been in this cafe because she was collecting these receipts. This meant: logically—that someone in this cafe had given the receipts to her. Ueki’s eyes didn’t even dart around, when he stopped looking at the paper, his defeated eyes met Akaashi’s alarmed ones straight away.

The two men stared at each other, one in shock and one in…. absolute rage.

 _“You…”_ Ueki practically shouted, absentmindedly crumbling the paper again. He looked positively murderous as he stared at Akaashi like he wanted to kill him.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave...” said a kind barista who had been watching this all play out. He moved from behind the cash register so that he could stop what was about to happen; so he could usher out the angry gentleman in the expensive suit before things got ugly....

##  _but he was too late._

And everything happened so fast. 

Like a scene from an animalistic hunt movie, Ueki swerved the barista and lunged in Akaashi's direction, who by no means was no weakling—just caught off guard. The businessman tore a path to Keiji, tossing chairs across a table if it was in his way. _“You….!”_ Ueki spat again when he was just a step away from where the brunette was sitting. The amount of pure rage in Ueki’s eyes was positively frightening, and due to his speed Akaashi would be far too late to defend himself from Ueki’s vicious attack—Ueki had the perfect opportunity to strike--

so it was a good thing when a choking sound released from the businessman’s throat and he was thrown several steps back onto his ass.

Keiji's ex made such noise because his collar is the first thing that Bokuto Kotaro could reach— _seeing as Ueki had a head start and everything._

##  _He might have made it too... **if the grey-haired wasn't much faster than him.**_

Using barely any exertion whatsoever, in half a second Bokuto had tightened his grip on the back of the man’s neck collar and then tugged his hand back—tossing the enraged businessman on the floor behind him, not caring that he fell on the table as he went down.

Bo hadn’t used much strength to do that, only wanting to pull the man back enough so he could place himself between his Belle and him.

Still frozen, Akaashi watched—much too stunned to move— as Bokuto stepped forward so that he was standing over the man now on the cafe floor.

Ueki scrambled to spin so that he could see who had thrown him to the floor so easily, his eyes widening when he took in the stature before him. His jaw dropped as he looked up.

While Ueki knew that he would have been able to get the upper hand in a fight against Akaashi, he just as certainly knew that he would--without a doubt--lose in a fight against this tall, broad shouldered, Herculean grey-haired man; obviously in the best shape of his life.

“ _Go ahead._ **Get up.”** Bokuto dared the man on the floor, towering over him.

He looked just as murderous as Ueki had looked a moment before, incredibly angry at the fact that anyone would dare try and hurt his Akaashi.

 **“Get up.”** Bokuto shot again, taking a step back so the man had no excuse not to.

While Kotaro, and anyone that knows him—knew that he is quite possibly the kindest person in the world: they also knew that he could be anything _**but** kind_ when it came to protecting his loved ones.

##  _That fact only multiplied by 5,000 when it came to Akaashi Keiji._

Ueki, on his butt, watched as the towering figure clenched his fists in preparation. Ueki then fumbled backwards, crab walking further away from Bokuto so he could get up and escape.

Ueki thought he could away with a lot of things; _cheating on his wife, lying to his daughters and a handsome lit student: but he absolutely knew that he would NOT get away with challenging this grey haired young man to a fight: not if he wanted to leave with all of his teeth, that is._

Bokuto’s energy was terrifying enough and Ueki wanted no parts in it. He fled.

“Should I call the police for you two?” Asked the barista, locking the cafe door behind Ueki with a worried expression.

“No,” called Akaashi’s smooth voice. He was finally able to regain normality again, standing up quickly to examine Kotaro. Bokuto examined Akaashi right back, inspecting him for any injury.

“Are you Okay Akaashi? Did he touch you?” The Owl inquired, spinning the younger male to make sure that he really did get to Ueki before he got to Akaashi.

Keiji nodded. “Yes.” The gunmetal eyes swerved about the Owl’s face and body looking for any sign of harm--ultimately relaxing and meeting Kotaro’s eyes again when he didn't find anything.

“I’m fine. Thank you so much, Bokuto-san.”

Heartbeats returning to normal, Bokuto smiled brightly. “Good, then I'm totally fine too…. Look, Akaashi! Not a scratch!” He then pulled Keiji’s bicep to lead him to a table at the front of the cafe. “I'm sorry--I know you wanted to do this alone but I was getting worried that it was taking so long so I headed back. I didn't find a good gift for Matty or Tets, but I did find a place that sold that teas you like from home and I wanted to replace the one you didn't like from here--I was excited to give you yours. So here!”

Keiji, heart-warming because he was finally able to breathe again in Bokuto's presence—grinned as he took the drink. “Thank you twice, Bokuto-san.”

“Come!” Bokuto cheered, returning to his bubbly personality as if he hadn’t just threatened to pummel a man with his eyes a moment ago. Truth be told, Bokuto is still reeling from the anger he felt thinking about what might have happened if he hadn’t stopped Ueki in time, but he knew that Akaashi needed to calm down more than him— _and his priority was always Akaashi_ \--so he faked being normal to hopefully make his Belle feel better too. He would do anything in his power to make sure Keiji was fine; no matter what the case may be. “I found a really good place when I was exploring, so come!”

* * *

*******

30 minutes later, Bokuto had successfully brought Akaashi to the spot he’d found earlier. It was a rooftop chill-spot that some lowkey artist in the city must have made. No one was here and it was pretty empty in terms of furniture; most likely because the main attraction was the view from this location. From here, the view of the Japanese city line was spectacular. It was the perfect place for him and especially Akaashi to decompress, _way better than that cafe in which Keiji had just been put through an emotional rollercoaster._

Once they reached the secret rooftop, Kotaro watched Akaashi head straight to the edge, looking straight out at the city.

The model took incredibly deep & slow breaths, taking a few moments to set his tea on the ledge and put both elbows on the balcony. This is exactly what Akaashi needed to relax and come back down to earth. This is EXACTLY it.

Kotaro walked over slowly, just observing his Belle. Even with everything that had transpired, Bo has never thought Keiji looked more handsome; wearing all black and sporting red cheeks. There is something that happened to the model after he had that conversation--he changed from the man Bokuto left in the cafe--and whatever happened was something good—because it made Akaashi even more beautiful in Kotaro's eyes, which shouldn't be possible. Akaashi appeared:

_Happier? Free-er? Lighter?_

Yeah, he looked _lighter_. Like someone who had just been acquitted of a crime they didn't commit.

Bokuto watched in awe as the most beautiful man he has ever seen picked up his tea again after calming himself down for a good ten minutes.

Kotaro's breathing stopped as he witnessed the breathtaking sight that is Akaashi Keiji under the sunset. He didnt have his studious glasses on, sadly, but that just meant that Bokuto could see the amber sparkles that danced in his Belle’s serious blues... he could see the way the sun’s departure highlighted Akaashi’s high cheekbones... he could see the soft orange-white hue that settled on Akaashi's soft pink lips. Bo tried to hide the way his jaw dropped when Keiji moved away from the sunset calmly, turning in Bokuto’s direction so now Bo could admire his face dead on as opposed to his handsome profile.

_"Wow..." Bokuto whispered as he took in Akaashi's beauty, thinking he said it in his head but he didn't._

And when a particularly powerful wind hit the two men, blowing the grey-haired hair to the left, and Keiji’s gorgeous hair back,…. Keiji used his right hand to tousle his black locs out of his eyes. He looked like nothing short of an angel at that moment—hair flying back, sundown light shimmering on his nose, black clothes collectivizing to create a look so divine that it squeezed the Owl’s heart. How angelic Keiji looked under this breeze affected the lovestruck Owl _so_ much so that **_he just couldn’t hold back anymore._**

_“Akaaaashi….”_ Kotaro whispered…

Akaashi slowly turned his head to the Owl, allowing himself for the first time ever to take in the blush on Kotaro's face for what it is: _admiration. desire. high regard._

He could only hope that Bokuto was taking his own blush for exactly the same thing.

“Akgaashi," The Owl continued nervously, "I-I know you ask-ked me…months ago, after that one night at Uni Brunchette— to _wait_ until the New Year to tell a ‘guy like that’ a.k.a a guy that would treat you like you were the most special thing in this world--to ask you out then…. _**B-but**_ … to be _ho-honest_ … I-I do-don’t want to tell any oth-otehr-other g-guy to ask you out, Akaashi. Not in the New Year, and not now.”

Keiji slowly removed his hand from his hair, allowing the breeze to move it by itself like he was in a photoshoot. Bokuto blushed harder at the freshman's unfair beauty, feeling lucky to even _be_ _in the same **presence** as someone so gorgeous.._

Belle nodded to the Owl, encouraging him to keep talking. He wanted Kotaro to get there on his own. _He’d been waiting for this._

“So….oh-um— um Akaashi…?” The older male was looking down at his winter boots now, unable to rid the thoughts that he isn’t good enough for a guy like Keiji out of his mind. He paused for a while, and then shut his eyes tightly. “N-ne-nevermind.” He finished in defeat.

##  _“No.”_

Akaashi’s own suede boots entered Kotaro’s vision, Keiji’s toes almost touching Bokuto’s. He stood right in front of the sophomore, placing a hand under the Owl’s chin so that he was looking into his gunmetal blues again. Akaashi gave him a light smile, finding comfort in the warmth that always poured out of the grey-haired's eyes.

He noticed with a thudding heart that Bokuto’s eyes were the same colour as the distant sunset behind him: _only they were twice as warm._

“ _Yes, Bokuto-san?_ ” Akaashi asked, visible cold breath fanning the older’s face. “ _I’m listening to you... patiently.”_

Eyes wide like saucers, Bokuto snapped; much too lovesick to hold back any longer.

“I-I want to prove to you that I can be the right man for you, Akgaashi!” once he let it out, he couldn’t stop. “I really… I mean really _really_ like you, and I know you are deserving of someone so much better than me, but I want to show you what it would be like to be treated the way you’ve never thought possible. _The way you've always deserved._ I like you… _**more than volleyball,**_ and I NEVER thought this feeling could even exist! When I'm in class, I think of you. When I'm with my friends, I think of you. And when I win a game, I think of you... because nothing makes me happier than you. My feelings have been fast but they've been _real_ since the moment I saw you. I want to…. _ugh,_ I really _really_ want you to give me a chance… a chance so that I can show you that I can treat you like… like royalty. Like the real-life Prince Belle and not make-believe!!! ....But, if not: I understand too. I understand that you hate men and that you think that 95% of what guys do is sell you a dream, but before you make that conclusion for good I want to show you and prove to you that the dream that I will sell you—the one about me being _the bestest, gentlest, loyalest, boyfriend in the world, the one about me cherishing you and caring for you more than I care for himself or anyone else on the planet and p_ ** _romising_** _that I’d_ ** _never_** _be the cause of your tears since it would hurt_ ** _me_** _more to see you hurt_ …. Yeah, that will be the dream that comes true, Akaashi. If you let me just show you!”

Bokuto immediately lifted his styrofoam cup up to shield his face behind it when he was finished. He wouldn’t dare look at Akaashi right now, not wanting to see the look on his Belle’s face when he rejected him. _He wasn’t like Kuroo who could be turned down 10 times by Kenma and still pursue_... if Keiji rejected him right here and now it would absolutely crush him. Kotaro wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Heck, that's why he wasn’t even supposed to _**ask**_ right now!!!! It was much too soon and Akaashi had specifically told him to wait. They’d still have to be in the same hotel room for another day after this rejection and then drive four long hours back home together all because Bokuto thought the breeze and sunset made Keiji look too beautiful. He has never been so mad at Mother Nature. Because it is that stupid breeze's fault for making him confess when he originally planned to—

_“I’m not exactly certain where the question is in there… but: my answer is yes. Yes: I would love to give you that chance, Bokuto-san.”_

## 😯

## 😯

##  **😯**

**Kotaro dropped his latte.** 🥤

## 😯

## 😯

## 😯

Luckily it didn't splatter onto the two men, only tilted to the side and leaked out on the concrete, meaning Akaashi only had to sidestep the fallen drink.

The model let out a hearty chuckle in his sexily deep voice. “Would you like some of my tea since you just dropped your beverage?” he joked.

“Akaashi?? Am I dreaming…!!?”

## 😯

Keiji shook his head, smirking up at the taller male.

“I’m not dreaming..?!” 😯He yelled, boisterous and very Bokuto-like.

Akaashi shook his head again.

A beat went by and then Akaashi’s drink had fallen to the ground, too, because Bokuto hadn’t been able to stop himself from collecting Keiji in his arms and spinning him around in a tight hug.

Usually, and in any other circumstance, this would be cause for Akaashi’s menacingly glare—the one that he gives all men but ESPECIALLY to ones that touch him unexpectedly—but instead: Keiji uncharacteristically laughed while he was being spun, arms encircling the broad shoulders below as he held on for dear life and enjoyed the embrace. Inside, the pensive man was beside himself with happiness.

Akaashi’s laugh was music to Kōtarō’s ears, **no sound has ever made him merrier.** When he began to get dizzy the Owl stopped them from spinning, though he wasn’t sure if the dizziness was due to the spin or the aromatic scent of Akaashi’s pleasing cologne.

Either way, all movement stopped, and that just left Bokuto and Akaashi: arms around each other as Bokuto effortlessly hoisted him up. They stared into each other's eyes on this rooftop in silence.

Four blue and amber eyes locked and their visible breaths collided in the space between their lips. The two men were both panting, chests heaving up and down uncontrollably due to their close proximity and their feelings within.

Bokuto slid Keiji down a tad in his arms, making it so that their faces were mere centimetres away, both men secretly loving the swap in height difference for once.

Keiji pressed his lips together and settled deeper into the warmth of Bokuto’s eyes, allowing himself to admit that he wouldn’t mind staying in Bokuto’s arms forever. His expression softened as he felt the bodily warmth that rolled off the sweet and stunning Ace no matter how cold it got...

_“Bokuto-san...”_

Akaashi breathed, gazing down at Bo through sexy long lashes.

_“Akaashi....”_

Kōtarō answered, gazing up at Keiji through big round eyes.

..

Akaashi stopped holding back, doing what he has wanted to do for months by closing the distance between him and the man that has captured his heart.

## 🎇 **🎇 🎇**

Beyond elated, Bokuto immediately kissed back, hugging Akaashi so close to his chest as if he was afraid he’d disappear.

The two sets of cold lips collided in a hungry, passionate, and magical way: effectively warming their entire bodies in a single touch.

Their lips fit together as if the two men were made to be kissed by the other.

As if they were created for the sole purpose of being together. It felt so **right** and so _**perfect** _and so _**well worth the wait**_ that Akaashi tightened his grip around Bo’s shoulders and Bo answered with an approving groan.

Both men were on cloud nine, experiencing the best kiss of their lives when the snow began to fall on them. Bokuto is still holding Akaashi up effortlessly in his arms when....

The camera begins to pan out as the snow falls, giving Bokuaka privacy;

on the rooftop, in the middle of winter, miles away from campus, sharing their first kiss, their first _amazing_ kiss.... silently promising each other with their lips that they would always....

_Always...._

Keep eachother company.

Camera slowly pans out, floating backwards into the sky so the audience sees the kissing couple getting smaller and smaller from their place on the terrace; seeing Bokuto set Akaashi down on his feet, both of them refusing to break the kiss as Bokuto cupped Akaashi’s face in his hands tenderly. Keiji rested his hands on Kōtarō’s waist inside his brown jacket, leaning into Bo’s touch as they made out. They rotated their head positions to deepen the kiss at the same time; forgetting that there exists a world outside of this tender hold right now... The camera continues to slowly pan out, backing up to reveal the tall business buildings that neighbour the balcony. Camera stays on them, panning out into the sunset until the brightness of the sun behind engulfs the entire screen, making it clear that those two will not stop kissing each other for a while..

## 🌨  
🌬  
❄️  
🌨

_~~Let’s hope no one throws a wrench in their plans or anything~~._

* * *

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

**Back with a Platonic Matsu|Hana:**

When Hana had tried on the lingerie set that was absolutely the sexiest thing ever made, Mattsun could only nod, tell him that’s the one, and excuse himself quickly to make a call because if he stayed in that waiting room any longer--he couldn't trust himself enough to NOT take Hiro in that changeroom until his balls were out of cum. The measly term 'aroused' doesn’t even _**cut it**_ to describe just how Issei felt today. Hanamaki trying these sets on just about reached number one on Mattsun's lifelong generated spank bank, placing second just under screwing triplets--his neighbour was just that attractive. Issei even called the pizza delivery guy to meet him at his apartment before they even _leave the mall; JUST_ so that Matty wouldn't have to wait to stick his dick in somebody.

"Speaking of catching a movie though..." Makki started when he knew Issei had returned. He threw a lacy number over the hook in his changeroom. "I have some time to waste tonight. Are you down to watch a movie at your place when we get back?"

"Can't." Mattsun stared at the wall, upset that he'd have to turn down doing his favourite thing: spending time with Takahiro due to a previous engagement.

"Why? Dick appointment lined up? I can come over after like last time.."

 **"No--!"** Mattsun blushed. "Well, actually-- ** _yeah,_ **but it's not that. I actually promised to meet up with some of my old high school buddies for a few drinks tonight. Wanna come?" 

Inside the changeroom, Makki removed his shirt. "No, dude, that seems like a private thing." 

"Says who? And what do you need to waste time for anyway?"

"Remember!! Since the last two trials were major fails, Hirugami is coming to get me around 11 tonight. _**Annnd**_ since our house cat is having Kuroo over again I don't wanna be in the house. Akaashi is out of town and you're busy, so maybe I'll just take a nap in your bed until bae comes." 

Mattsun's eyes shot open at the sound of _'i'll just ...your bed ... until cum'_ leaving Hiro's mouth: the horny middle blocker's dick throbbing uncontrollably.

 _Fuck fuck fuck_

The tatted sophomore was quite possibly the chillest dude out of the 6 men--so he didn't mind if Kuroo or Bokuto (or even Kenma or Akaashi, which has happened within the past 3 months) wanted to take a quick nap in his bed to avoid hearing moaning in their apartment, _not at all--_

##  **BUT!!!**

Issei _also_ knew that just the **IDEA** of Hiro sleeping there-- **in his bed** \-- **alone** \--laying on his back or on his stomach, in the **same** place that Mattsun tends to jack off to thoughts of the Pinkie on his back and his stomach--would prove to be way too much for him. If Mattsun allowed it, he'd have to say _goodbye_ ✌️ to his sleeping schedule and _hello_ 👋 to a sprained wrist. He was just too much of a fucking horndog for his neighbour, _**especially**_ after today. 

So... He couldn't let that happen. 

"Just come," Mattsun urged, hoping that he sounded like he just wanted Makki to go to Uni Brunchette with him and not anything else. "I want you to meet my friends that _aren't_ whipped for your roommates." he lied. 

Hiro smirked from inside the changeroom. "I'd totally be crashing your high school thing, though..."

"Nah, not at all," He responded reassuringly.

 _"I don't know man..._ :/"

##  _"Please come, Hiro. It'll be fun, I promise."_

Mattsun used his thumb and index finger to rub his eyes; displaying a clear sign of stress to others in the changeroom. He needed Hana to take the bait because he _sure as hell_ would not be able to think of a better excuse to not have Makki in his bed. He knew that Hiro was a softie for the concept of 'FOMO' though, so saying that _'it'll be fun, I promise'_ **should do the trick.**

However, Matsukawa Issei had no idea that he would end up eating those words tonight.

The Camera fast forwards, characters moving insanely fast on the screen displaying unintelligible scenes. Audience only hears the loud echo of Mattsun's words while simultaneously viewing 3 short clips of what will unfold tonight: 

##  _🌫_

“Ｉｔ＇ｌｌ ｂｅ ｆｕｎ Ｉ ｐｒｏｍｉｓｅ．．．"

_Flashforward shows Mattsun staring lovingly at Hanamaki, who is laughing beautifully with Issei's high school friends._

##  _🌫_ _🌫_

##  _🌫_

“Ｉｔ＇ｌｌ ｂｅ ｆｕｎ Ｉ ｐｒｏｍｉｓｅ．．．"

_Flashforward shows Hanamaki hugging Issei at the bar, too close to seem friendly._

##  _🌫_ _🌫_

##  _🌫_

“Ｉｔ＇ｌｌ ｂｅ ｆｕｎ Ｉ ｐｒｏｍｉｓｅ．．．"

_Flashforward shows Hanamaki and Issei falling onto Issei's bed together, both wrapped around each other in a romantic exchange._

##  _🌫_ _🌫_

Camera rewinds, returning to present-time with Matsu|Hana in the changeroom.

Hanamaki opens the change room door, presenting himself back in his regular clothes again. "Yeah, Okay Neighz, you sold me! I'll go." 

Issei grinned. "Bet."


	14. EPISODE 11 (Marathon 1/3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it's 5 am here and I just finished editing this.  
> This is going to be part 1/3 of a 20K-word marathon. My goodness, yay!  
> Grab the popcorn: deadass.  
> I will start editing the next part when I wake up, and it takes me about half a day to do so, so please bear with me!
> 
> Thank you for reading, thanks for all the continuous support and I hope you enjoy part 1!!!
> 
> This picks up right after the last episode, so make sure you're well versed to avoid any confusion! :)<3
> 
> WC: 10.3K

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 11**

Part 1 of this ** 3-PART MARATHON!**

* * *

**With a ??? Kuro|Ken (Same Time as the Akaashi & Viha Coffe Shop Talk)**

Kuroo’s large hands slipped into grey sweatpants, grabbing two nice handfuls of supple ass. Not 10 seconds ago had the Raven been avidly taking notes in the middle of a Chemistry lecture when a certain someone that has him wrapped around his finger texted Kuroo to meet him in the hall near the labs, quick.

Tetsu immediately thought: ‘emergency’ so **_of course,_** Kuroo had gone and **_of course_** there was no emergency--instead being grabbed by a small but hot guy pulling him into another nook in the University where they can’t be seen to make out. _In Kuroo’s defence,_ he really **did** think there was an emergency because Kenma _rarely_ texted him--but at the same time; you’d be hard-pressed to find a time in which the man _wouldn’t_ drop anyone or anything hanging to be there if Kozume wanted him.

When Kuroo squeezed the supple ass, the tongue currently dancing against his went slack, letting out a tiny purr of approval in Kuroo’s mouth. The sound hardened Tetsu’s dick like it always did, and he happily squeezed and rubbed the pale skin of Kenma’s ass as they made out, at some point impatiently lifting the shorter male up so he was at his level and he could stop hurting his back from bending. Also so that Kuroo could grind him atop his dick better. He loved how responsive Kenma always was now, which was very different than the beginning stages of their relationship. The kitten was so sense-driven and incapable of faking anything--it was so hot. The taller pressed Kenma against the cold walls of Statham Hall as unsuspecting students walked past the little hiding spot, unaware of their hidden friskiness.

Unleashing the blonde’s lips only to give attention to his neck, Kuroo breathed heavily there. Loving it there.

Kuroo’s heart was going a mile a minute and it only sped up when Kozume reached up to thread a hand through Kuroo’s dark locs, pulling the taller male so that the blonde was the one sucking on the skin there. Tetsu’s head lolled to the right to allow his scale-breaker more access-- _all the access God damn_ \--, enjoying Kozume’s lips on the weak spot on his neck. It felt so wonderful whenever Kenma’s lips were on any part of him…especially because it was so rare for the gamer in his arms to be in the mood like this.

Kuroo thought about searching for aphrodisiacs for their date tonight. All thoughts fled him though when Kozume’s teeth deliciously slid across the weak spot on Kuroo’s neck. Kuroo immediately bit his own lip really hard, however, a moan still escaped. 

“Mm, Kitten,” Kuroo groaned huskily, knowing that Kenma got encouraged by the sound he let out. “I—have c-class.”

“Shut up.” Kenma hissed, removing his soft lips from the Raven’s neck to crash them on Kuroo’s again, his smaller tongue dipped in and out teasingly—just enough to make Kuroo’s head spin. Kenma returned to Kuroo’s neck again sexily and Kuroo seemed to get back into it...

However, _**class**_ …...

“K-kenma….”

“I’m not the one holding **_you_** against a wall,” the blonde pointed out, “You can leave anytime.” he countered, wrapping his arms around Kuroo’s neck a little tighter, pulling the Raven in so he could say that in his ear. Kenma then licked around the edges of Kuroo’s ear and Kuroo shuddered. 

_He knew exactly what he was doing to Tetsuro._

“Yo-you k-know I can’t…” Kuroo stuttered out, willing his eyes **not** to roll back as Kenma’s tongue traced his sensitive ear languidly. “You kn-know I can’t when you’re like this-- _mmm...”_ Kuroo admitted weakly. His eyes did roll back when Kenma daringly reached down to palm Kuroo’s cock through these shorts. “ _N-not f-fair…”_

And it was true. It wasn’t fair at all. 

Kenma Kozume was on the spectrum of asexuality, not attracted to most people but highly physically attracted to Kuroo Tetsurou--and so sometimes he felt the need to pounce on the man he was currently dating at the most random of times.

Whether that be in the middle of the movie theatre on a date, at Uni Brunchette, or here at school--Kenma always got what he wanted when he wanted-- from the taller male. They have never had sex, Kenma lost interest before then and Tetsu never pushed--but even making out and getting handsy made Kuroo inexplicably horny and turned on: caught off guard every single time.

It really _really_ wasn’t fair for poor Tetsuro. 

“You talk too much,” Kenma fondled the underside of Kuroo’s dick through his pants, eliciting yet another shudder from the taller male. Kenma returned to Kuroo’s neck, sucking there slightly--careful not to leave a hickey that might be talked about by their friends and used as a humiliation topic for the gamer ~~like before~~. 

Kuroo, on the other hand, tried to hold back... but that was futile when the man he’s been falling for is fondling his dick. He pushed into Kenma’s touch and roughly squeezed the blonde’s ass, wanting nothing more than to fuck his scale breaker right here in the halls of their University. His mind was becoming cloudy with lust like it usually does when Kenma’s lips are on his skin, and in that moment Kuroo wouldn't mind at all if Kenma’s moans as Kuroo fucked him reached all the way to his lecture hall, disrupting everyone in there just like Kuroo had been disrupted by Kenma’s text. 

“Can I see you-you tonight,” Kuroo breathed heavily as Kenma had his way with him. 

It had been three months since their first official date, and while the two have been exclusively seeing each other ever since, Kuroo had become accustomed to at least a ⅓ of their dates being cancelled by the catboy, mainly because Kenma just didn’t feel like it sometimes. Those nights Kuroo would be very disappointed, but then he’d dedicate that time to making an even better surprise date for Kenma the following day. 

In the past three months, Kuroo has somehow been able to get Kemna out of the house: taking him to Marvel movies, tricking him into going out to eat (but he ended up liking the places Kuroo chose anyway), sometimes bringing him to the gym (that never lasted long)... but most of all: the two spent an abnormal amount of time in virtual reality together: visiting different countries and even trying the space feature once. It turns out that Kenma and Kuroo get along very well in their opposites-attract glory, never being short of good conversation--and in the rare event that they were--, it was because Kozume just didn't feel like being social and Ku absolutely respected that. Most of their dates consisted of them at Kuroo’s place, Kenma gaming and Kuroo watching, or both of them gaming, or cuddling and watching movies. At least once a night Kenma would initiate a makeout session which Tetsu definitely appreciated--but really, he was perfectly content being beside his blonde in any way possible. 

The Raven had really fallen for the man in his arms since the first date when he realized he liked him--so while he had yet to **tell** Kenma that…he damn well was **showing it** , subconsciously hoping that Kenma would get the picture and just decide to date him already. 

But because he _didn’t get the picture_...(and because Kuroo isn’t what you would call “patient”) the Raven decided what he was going to do tonight. 

He was sick and tired of not being able to claim the blonde like he wanted to, especially in public where all kinds of men thought it was appropriate to hit on Kenma if Kuroo so much as went to the bathroom, leaving him for a second. He wanted to call Kenma his. Tonight. 

"No cancelling," Tetsu added.

“K.” Kenma answered, tightening his leg grip around the taller male, squeezing his dick pleasurably in the process. 

“ _Fuck,_ ” Kuroo hissed sexily, “Ke-kenma, ‘m serious....” He would show him how serious he was tonight. He had been planning this for weeks...

“K.” answered the gamer dismissively, finding Kuroo’s lips with his again. 

When that teasing tongue re-entered the Raven’s mouth again, Kuroo tried his best to clear his head. Kenma usually had him by the balls because of how the Raven felt about him, so he decided to think of something unappealing for a second so that he could stop Kenma’s kiss. He put the blonde down on the ground quickly before his mind catches up with his dick. 

Like a stubborn cat, Kozume immediately went in for the kiss again, one which Kuroo turned his head to deny.

Kenma was shocked.

“If you want to continue this, Kitten: You have to promise not to cancel tonight. Kenma, seriously. I have something special planned, and if you want these lips,” Kuroo smugly made a kissy face, "then you have to _not_ cancel on them," 

Kenma deadpanned while Kuroo simultaneously tried not to take in the crazy-adorable pink on Kenma’s cheek so that he can really will himself to leave.

This time, for the first time, Kuroo flipped the script and left Kenma wanting more. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the blonde’s forehead, adjusting the front of his pants before unwillingly leaving Kenma there, alone. Hoping that made Kenma want to get him back for it tonight. 

Annoyed that Kuroo was gaining so much strength against him, Kenma rolled his eyes, watching the way the much taller man attractively rolled his shoulders as he walked back to class. His plan worked because now Kenma had no intention of cancelling tonight: if only to remind Kuroo who wore the pants in this... _is it a relationship?_ Whatever.

Glaring at his back, Kenma lifted a finger to his bottom lip when the Raven looked over his shoulder to give Kenma a devastatingly handsome smirk. Kenma wanted to throw something at the back of his black bedhead because of how stupid he was, however, he wanted to thread his fingers through it and pull it down so they could make out **even more.** Being on the asexual spectrum, no one has aroused Kenma like Kuroo Tetsuro. He watched Kuroo walk back to class, the muscles in his back visible through the fairly tight tee-shirt he was wearing, and it made Kenma’s mouth water slightly. Kenma couldn't deny that he was actually… looking forward to seeing the Raven tonight. 

He didn’t know how it happened--if it happened the first time Kuroo beat him in a game a month ago, or if it was the time Kuroo saved a kitten from a tree two months ago, or if it was when Kenma secretly saw how Kuroo fluffed Kenma’s pillows before he slept over when he thought Kenma hadn't been watching….Kenma realized just how much he liked spending time with the older male. Well, Kenma has no idea when, how, who, what or where it happened.

He just knows that somewhere along the line……. he fell for the notorious fuckboy, too.

And even though he didn't act like it: he was really looking forward to seeing him tonight. 

* * *

***

** Later that Evening with a Smitten Boku|Aka:  **

“You don’t have to walk me any further, Bokuto-san. Thank you.” Akaashi stopped in front of the school library steps, kindly-looking up at the older man. Bokuto’s eyes flicked from the school doors to Akaashi, evaluating the distance between them and then pouting a bit.

They had just returned home from their trip hours ago, and Bokuto didn't understand why Akaashi needed to go straight to the library to meet up with his study group instead of resting: but then again... _it was his Belle that he was talking about._ Bo knew that Akaashi took his schooling incredibly seriously, and unfortunately--him taking 3 days off to go and expose Ueki meant that he had 3 days worth of studying to catch up on. Akaashi planned to pull an all-nighter in the library tonight, sleeping there if he had to. And even though it was only early evening right now--still, being the sweetheart Bo is, he insisted on walking Akaashi there before he went home himself. It was the evening now, and even though the campus was known for being safe, Bo felt especially protective over his Owl after all that had transpired uptown with his crappy ex. 

“Are you sure, Akaashi? Is your study group here already?” 

The darker-haired male smiled softly, fixing his glasses and carefully taking back his book bag that the Owl had insisted on holding for him.

“Yes. I am going to part with you here. And you have to help Kuroo-san with his date with Kenma tonight, right?” 

“Yes! That’s right!" Kotaro remembered. "Okay, then, bye!” Bokuto didn’t move, seemingly conflicted about something. He shifted his weight on both feet.

It was very clear to Akaashi that Bokuto had been building himself up to saying something to him ever since they kissed on the rooftop this morning, and it was very clear that Bo’d been trying to extend the time they spent together so that he could build up the courage to do just that. Keiji wanted the Owl to get there himself, so he didn’t push it, but he definitely didn't want Bokuto to be embarrassingly loud in the library to draw more attention to them, so he’d much rather Bokuto say what he needed to say here. 

“Goodbye,” Akaashi answered softly, not moving either.

It was early evening, around 5 pm, and so the skies were a dark blue, the pavement on the expensive campus lit only by the tall outdoor lamp posts. A few groups of students walked past the two men with their book bags, either leaving the library preparing to go out on the town tonight or heading into the library preparing for a night of study like Keiji. 

  
  


The Owl used his feet to scoff at the ground. “Yeah, bye!”

but when Bokuto continued shifting his weight from foot to foot instead of making a move to head home with the crowd leaving the library, Akaashi took pity on the handsome man.

He decided to lend him a helping hand. 

“Is there something you would like to ask me, Bokuto-san?” The model rearranged the book bag on his shoulder. 

Round golden eyes that had been staring at the ground lifted so that they were drowning in the blue seas of Keiji’s pupils. The cold never made him shiver, but Keiji’s beautiful eyes did. He gulped, his heart racing.

Then, he nodded, silently begging Akaashi to walk him through this. 

Luckily, Keiji understood--and he didn’t mind. **On the contrary,** unlike most people: being the one to help Bokuto-san through his episodes--whether emotionally big or small--brought the model much internal joy.

“You _would_ like to ask me something?” Keiji clarified.

The Owl nodded enthusiastically, his eyes pleading for his Belle to continue, but his mouth completely shut. 

“...Does it have anything to do with us spending more time together?” Akaashi prodded. 

The Owl nodded again. 

“Just...the two of us, perhaps?” 

Another nod. 

“--In a friendly manner?” 

Bokuto began to nod again out of habit--but then he squealed behind his tight lips and took back the nod midway--shaking his head profusely. 

Keiji chuckled: expecting nothing less. “Oh, in a _more-than-friend_ ly manner, then?”

This time, Bokuto waited to hear the whole question before he nodded enthusiastically, a blush reddening his cold cheeks. 

“You would like us to spend more time together... in a romantic way?” Keiji inquired, and Bokuto squealed deeply again, nodding and getting even redder than before. A concerning red.

“Breathe through your nose, Bokuto-san.” warned Akaashi, content when the Owl did just that--since he’d been holding his breath all along behind his tight blue-ash lips. 

Akaashi continued when it looked like the grey-haired wasn’t about to pass out anymore. A normal colour returned to the rest of his face, leaving the familiar pink blush on the Owl’s face that Keiji loved.

“Romantic…..” Keiji returned where he had left off. “So you are...You are asking me out on a _date,_ Bokuto-san?” 

The grey-haired bounced on the balls of his feet, nodding so enthusiastically that Keiji was worried he’d injure his neck. 

The model reached forward to still the chin of the Owl, caressing the face in his one hand. Bokuto whimpered, lips still pressed together, desperately waiting for an answer. 

The two men stared into each other’s eyes intensely, both heads filled with memories of the passionate, amazing, sensational kiss they’d shared on the rooftop. The one that neither of them knew how long it lasted--because it had been just that spectacular. 

They stared at one another for a few moments, Bokuto holding his breath again and Akaashi just admiring the cute face in his grasp. He was about to pull his hand away when he had another idea. A better idea. Outside in the cold Japanese evening on campus, the model simultaneously took a step forward and pulled the chin in his grasp closer to him--making it so their lips met in the middle. 

Bokuto screamed inside, his giant eyes blasting wide while Keiji’s beautiful eyes fluttered closed when their lips touched. Akaashi left Bo with a chaste, sweet kiss on the corner of his lips. A large part of Bokuto had been doubting himself so much since their kiss and his confession on the rooftop--wondering if he had rushed it and guilted Akaashi into agreeing to give him a shot when he was emotionally unavailable: hence why--after they’d ended the kiss-Bo didn't hesitate to take a step back so that Keiji didn't think he thought they were dating or anything.

No matter what, Bo needed his Belle to know that he was prepared to cherish him like he was the man of his dreams _**because he was.** He didn't want to go at any pace that wasn't Akaashi's. _But...all the doubts he’d harnessed about Keiji's 'yes' being just an emotionally charged response dissipated when Keiji kissed him right here and now: outside of the campus library. Unprovoked.

Just like it had then, the Owl’s heart exploded, fireworks encompassing his entire being when Keiji’s soft, beautiful lips moulded against his. Even though he accepted the kiss frigidly, he was absolutely bursting at the seams. 

When Keiji pulled away, he gave Bo one of those endearing smiles with his eyes that only he could pull off--before saying,

“Yes. I will go on a date with you, Bokuto-san. Pick me up tomorrow at 8.” 

And without another word--Akaashi quickly left, disappearing into the library with a very sweet blush coating his own cheeks below his glasses.

Bokuto stood there... watching with an open mouth, flabbergasted. But when what just happened finally settled in… he knew why Akaashi had hauled ass just now. He probably didn't want to witness it:

Like a volcanic reaction, Bo dropped everything he’d been carrying on the campus pavement… jumping up high in the air...as high as he jumps for spikes! In the middle of campus on that winter night, Bokuto opened the mouth that had previously been sealed shut and shouted louder than ever, 

##  **“HEY HEY HEYYYYY! AKAASHI SAID YES!** **"**

Ecstatically, scaring the students around him, but he didn't care. **Bo was too overcome with joy to care!** The handsome sophomore didn’t stop there, proceeding to race over to random groups of students loitering and demand high fives from each of them jubilantly. Some groups were scared at first when they saw a muscular crazy-eyed man run towards them, but none of them were able to resist the infectious brightness that was Bokuto Kotaro-- giving in and returning Bo’s high five with a smile of their own!

Once Bo received about 15 high-fives, he began running back home since he was late helping Kuroo with his special night tonight. 

Bokuto and Mattsun had each agreed to help their Raven-haired friend ask the blonde to be his boyfriend in different ways tonight: and since Mattsun had already helped Kuroo plan everything when Bo was out of town, that meant Bo was on shopping duty. He didn't mind, but he was supposed to meet Kuroo an hour ago, so Bo just knew his friend was going to chew him out for being so late.

However, it would all be worth it since Akaashi had agreed to go on a date with him-- **and tomorrow at that!!!**

Now he and Kuroo both had something to look forward to this weekend (even though he knew his roommate was probably losing his head over what his scale breaker would respond to his confession and reply tonight)!!!!!!!

Either way, Bokuto was very hopeful for the two of them!

_**No one could wipe the smile off his face! No on--** _

Slowing his jog, Bo became less hopeful for himself when-- _halfway to his house_ \--he remembered that he’d dropped all of his bags in front of the library when he jumped for joy after hearing Akaashi’s **yes** ….making him have to run all the way back & adding an extra 20 minutes to his tardiness. 

_Oh well,_ Bo thought as he turned around, _Hearing his roommate potentially bitch him out for being late was all worth it because_ **Akaashi.Said.Yes.**

*******

**Later that Evening….**

**With Matsukawa & His High School Friends 🍻 🏐🌙**

Uni Brunchette was especially lively tonight; it obviously becoming fuller due to the students whose hometowns are Tokyo and so they have returned home for the holidays.

Because it was Christmas (Xmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah) time and Uni Brunchette wore many hats: the restaurant/bar/nightclub dedicated itself **completely** to a bar & restaurant scene for December--making itself inviting for the families that came to eat here when they picked up their kids from University.

The entire restaurant was decorated in wondrous holiday decor, including mistletoes here and there. The bar and the food menu hosted sign-of-the-time specials, including Christmas cookies and holiday-themed mixed drinks. They made their DJ stop blasting music, swapping out for just a chill playlist of modern Christmas specials that made for a relaxed bar-only vibe of Uni Brunchette, as opposed to the club vibe it usually turned into pre and post-December nights. 

Matsukawa and his high school buddies sat at Mattsun, Bo & Ku’s usual booth for a nice dinner and drinks, having met up here last year at this time because Tokyo was on the way home for them--so Matsukawa would cop a ride with them.

Like most people, the men had liked Uni Brunchette so much when Issei brought them here that they all vowed to do the same thing next year (which is now) and maybe the year after that and the year after that.

For the past hour, Mattsun’s old buddies: Oikawa Toru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Kunimi Akira, Kindaichi Yutaro & Yahaba Shigeru sat around the table in the vibrant bar, laughing and drinking and having a jolly ole time. It was always great when the group got together like this, swapping memories of their high school days back when they never made it to nationals. Issei was drinking and eating and enjoying himself, however--his mind couldn't stop thinking about where Hiro was.

He had hoped that Makki had really taken his invitation to come here tonight seriously and not thought Mattsun was only being nice. If he didn't believe him, that meant he was currently sleeping in Mattsun’s bed instead as he had originally planned when he found out Matty would be busy tonight, which is something Issei could barely deal with the **_thought_** of. Just the thought of his smoking hot neighbour sleeping in his bed when he returned tonight made him aroused, let alone fully seeing it after this whole night was over. Mattsun already had to spend an entire afternoon watching his neighbour look like a whole meal as he tried on _lingerie after lingerie after lingerie_... so h _e really didn’t know what he might do if he came home to something like that._

“By the way, I invited someone here tonight, so don’t fucking embarrass me,” stated Issei's friend Yahaba after they all swallowing a round of Santa Christmas shots with straight faces.

The men all turned to the fluffy-haired one and Mattsun did too--a beat too late--trying to pay more attention to his table than the Pinkie that occasionally consumed his every thought. 

“ _Oh?”_ Oikawa asked, curious. He put his elbows up on the table and leaned in Shigeru's direction: who was sitting to the far left of him.

The seating arrangement went: Oikawa and Iwaizumi on one side, then Kunimi in front of Oikawa, Yuutaro next to him/in front of Iwa, and then Mattsun and Shigeru on both ends on the table: whereas Mattsun was in the middle of Toru&Kunimi ...so that obviously left Shigeru in the middle of Iwa and Kindaichi. They were all wearing an obnoxious ugly Christmas sweater that they’d gifted each other back in high school--as was tradition. Everyone looked just as healthy and handsome as they did back then--the only major difference being Oikawa now a shade darker due to his training is overseas. 

Yahaba proceeded to glare at the brunette. "Don't look at me like that."

“Who is it?” Kindaichi asked politely.

“Don’t worry.” 

“Why are meeting up with people _here?_ Does Mattsun know him?" Oikawa asked brightly. 

Yahaba sighed as Matsukawa spoke up.

“Yes, I do. And now that we’re on the topic... who said you can fuck people on my team?” Matsukawa added. 

Yahaba turned his glare on Issei. “Oh don’t you fucking try it,” he shot. “You came to visit me and slept with my residence manager then gave him a fake number!!” 

Mattsun chuckled at the memory.

“He still never lets me get away with breaking curfew ever since then. So, uh, Fuck you,” 

Mattsun waved to their regular server, signalling another round of drinks on him while chuckling. The server gave a thumbs-up from across the bar. “Yeah. Sorry about that. Let me get the next round haha,”

Yahaba only rolled his eyes. 

“Wait. Is it that convict punk artist-looking Opposite Hitter on Issei’s team?” Iwaizumi asked, not really caring to know, just unable to help himself from solving mysteries. 

The fluffy-haired man blushed, making the table (minus Kunimi) erupt in applause for getting it out of him. 

“OOOOOOO!” Oikawa cheered. “The one Mattsun calls: _dog_!” 

Yahaba picked up his napkin to shield his face from the table, highly annoyed. 

“No need to be shy, Yahaba-san,” Kindaichi offered kindly. “Good for you.” 

“Yeah. Good for you -- he’s cute….in a puppy jail kind of way!” Oikawa smiled. “You dm’ed him after Issei posted that team picture didn't you?” 

When Yahaba blushed harder behind that white napkin, the table erupted again. 

“Shut up……” Yahaba groaned. “I’m only telling you guys so that you don’t act a fool when he gets here. We’ll be leaving anyway.” 

“Don't worry. I’ll handle **this** one.” Iwaizumi casually jutted his thumb toward his boyfriend, His boyfriend that was leaning so far over to get to Yahaba that he was practically in his lap. 

“Iwa-chan :((((“ Oikawa whined, giving his boyfriend the same puppy dog eyes he’s been giving them all for years. 

“Stop bothering people Shittykawa,” Iwa answered sharply, accompanying his response with an endearing hand squeeze under the table that only Matsukawa could see. 

Mattsun looked away from the sweetness that was the long standing couple at the table, eyes meeting Kunimi’s who rolled his own eyes in disinterest. 

“Kindaichi and I are probably going to go back to the hotel early too,” Kunimi explained. “I wanna sleep early since you guys are making me drive tomorrow.” 

“It’s your turn, babe.” Kindaichi slowly threw an arm over the back of his grumpy boyfriend, rubbing his back slightly. “What's the point of having a license if you never wanna drive anyway, right?” he tried soothing his tiresome significant other. 

“Kindaichi. Bite me. 😑” 

Meanwhile, as the two couples + Shigeru got into a conversation about what they were going to do for the rest of the night after this before they all headed home tomorrow, Matsukawa pulled out his phone to text Hanamaki. He let out a sigh of relief instead when he saw that his previous message had been answered: a cute text from Hanamaki saying that he’s here and that he’s sorry he’s late. 

Matsukawa’s spirits lifted like they had a mind of their own, turning his head to the entrance of Uni Brunchette so that he could see the hancutexy man enter, making the doors’ jingles chime when he swung it open. 

Mattsun smiled despite himself, watching happily as his neighbour entered Uni Brunchette in his pink puff coat and black scarf, stomping the snow off his boots first and foremost. The attractiveness of the Pinkie never failed to take Issei’s by surprise--at least at a small scale--and he wondered how someone could be so handsome to him bundled up even though he’s literally seen him in lingerie. Makki dressed in jackets and scarves shouldn't impress Issei anymore after what he’s seen...yet it does.

## Makki always impressed him.

The middle blocker eyed Hanamaki as he stopped dusting the snow off his boots and fully entered the building. He appeared to plan to head over here straight away-- _which triggered Mattsun to automatically perked up more_ \--but the name “Hana!” was subsequently called over the lively bar... hollered by a table closer to the bakery, so Hiro went over there first. Being very likable and popular, Issei should have known that Makki would have other friends to greet first--or at least his other friends would want to greet **_him f_** irst. As Matsukawa has noted from the first time he saw Hanamaki host their own party: he is cool, witty, and ridiculously funny, so it was no surprise that he was well-liked by even the seniors that went to their University.

Issei watched on as the Pinkie greeted the table that called him, giving dap to the large group full of popular seniors guys, smoothly giving side hugs to the girls there. Everyone smiled brightly up at him and laughed at the intro joke he must have made about a mistletoe because he pointed to it above their heads. The table roared with genuine laughter and admiration of Hanamaki, smiling up at him like he was Santa himself…. Hana smiled back, easily entering the conversation over there, from what Issei can see. 

_He’s so cool. So cute…_ Issei thinks to himself... 

Matsukawa hadn’t realized that he was appreciatively gazing at the man until Oikawa caught him. Without drawing attention to himself, the setter had turned around and looked for the man Issei had his eyes glued to, taking in the Pink hair, pale skin, and beautiful but mischievous smile on the stranger.

Turning back, Toru not-so-discreetly (because the whole table silenced too) poked his boyfriend with his elbow to get his attention... as he asked,

“Sooo, is yours a new boy toy that you invited tonight, Mattsun? Like Yahaba?” 😏😉

“Did you just say: _Boy toy?_ ” Kunimi asked, he and Kindaichi snorting at the word choice. 

Mattsun didn't answer, too distracted by watching Hana go to another table that called him over.

"Matsukawa." 

_no answer--_

"Issei."

_no answer--_

**“Mattsun.”**

The serious voice of Iwaizumi Hajime is was got Mattsun's attention immediately--seeing as _**that**_ deep voice haunted his nightmares from all the times Matsukawa would get in shit for being late to practice or benched for failing. No one ever listened to Oikawa even though he was the captain, so it was always Hajime that had to step in when things went too haywire... and that voice instilled fear in all of their hearts ever since. 

“Huh, yeah?” Mattsun looked straight at his old but scary friend. 

The nosy setter leaned into Mattsun’s side, a smile dancing on his lips. Issei knew that smile just as well as he knew Hajime's voice--and not just because he’d just seen it when Toru was questioning Yahaba about his date with Mad Dog. That look said: _I’m about to be a Nosy fucker. Plus, I’m tipsy._

“I said, is that a new _boy toy_ , Mattsun? The one you invited here tonight?” 😏😉

Mattsun’s face hardened. “No.” Deep down, he was freaking out a little by the notion. “I mean-- yes, he’s the one I invited here tonight. But he’s not...whatever the fuck you just called him,”

“Not a _boy toy_?” 🧐 Oikawa tilted his head inquisitively.

“Shut up, Oikawa. It’s Matsukawa we’re talking about. **_Of course not._ ** He would never introduce us to one of his fuckbuddies,” said the ever-level-headed Hajime, reeling in his out-of-pocket boyfriend.

“That’s true,” Yahaba nodded. 

“Yeah,” Kunimi added.

“No? _Not a boy toy?_ Then why are you blushing like that Mattsun?” 

Iwaizumi glanced at Matsukawa, already expecting to say _‘he’s not’_ to Shittykawa before he even had a look, but when his eyes landed on Mattsun’s face; he only lifted an eyebrow instead, that defence dying on his tongue.

“--I’m not!!” Mattsun fibbed angrily.

Luckily, a tipsy and nosy Oikawa did not press on that fact, knowing he could be wrong because Mattsun never outright blushed: so it was just difficult to detect.

Toru turned around again to even see if he even had the right guy. "It's the one with pink hair, though, right! He's the cutest one over there, so that has to be the one you like, Mattsun, isn’t it?!” 

Oikawa’s boyfriend growled at the lack of filter on the setter. “Shut up, Loudkawa. The entire bar can hear you.” 

“Iwa-Chan,” Oikawa smiled sweetly. “Are you my mom?” 

...

While Iwaizumi mentally drafted up 10 ways he was going to punish his boyfriend tonight the second they were out of prying eyes for that cheeky comment, Oikawa took advantage of the fact that he could get away with a lot--now--by turning back to Mattsun.

“Hmmmm... something _more than a boy toy,_ then?” asked the setter, spinning to glance at the Pinkie that Matsukawa had been staring at before. When he turned back, Toru winked at the Sloth.

“Uh--Shut the fuck up, No! **A friend!** He’s my neighbour!” 

Yahaba chimed in, “Wait so it’s _**not** _one of your other halves that you're always with? Not the crazy-haired one that posted that birthday video of you last year and came to visit, and it’s not the other crazy-haired one that acts like he’s God’s gift to the earth?”

Matsukawa shook his head. “No! Not Bokuto or Kuroo!"

Curiosity piqued, Iwaizumi, Yahaba, and KinKuni maneuvered to look at Makki from afar now, much to Matsukawa’s chagrin.

Together, four of Mattsun's high school buddies watched the handsome Pinkie make a third table of the night burst out in laughter. They watched as Hanamaki removed his jacket but left his scarf, revealing an attractively fitting, burgundy, long-sleeved shirt that read: 

## I’M SO GOOD  
SANTA CAME TWICE🎅💦

In large bubble letters. Paired with some dark-washed jeans that once again: _**showed off Takahiro’s tight ass.**_

Toru hadn’t turned away that time, having already seen Makki, so he just stared at Mattsun’s reaction as the rest of the men caught up. 

“Just a friend? A friend that—“ Oikawa stopped talking abruptly so that he can smack Iwaizumi on the arm hard. “--Oi! How long are you gonna stare? Stop checking out Mattsun’s boyfriend’s ass, now!”

Iwa jumped back at the claim, a red hue covering his cheeks a bit, too, because he ** _indeed_ **had been staring. He rubbed his arm. “Ouch… shit.” and then returned to his sandwich. 

Oikawa glared at his boyfriend for a few seconds before turning back to the conversation at hand. 

“Oi,” Oikawa snapped his fingers in front to Matsukawa’s face to get him to stop checking out Hana’s ass too. 

“H--What?!” Issei ripped his eyes away from a great sight in order to meet his eyes with Toru's. “What--wait, _did you just call him my boyfr--?!_ **I thought I TOLD YOU** he is **JUST** a friend!!” 

“He’s _**not**_ your boyfriend, you say?” Yahaba asked, he and Kindaichi simultaneously cranking their necks from their seats to check out Makki some more. _“Can he be my boyfriend, then?”_ Yahaba joked. 

Mattsun still seethed. 

“... _I mean if I wasn't so into the bad boys,_ ” Yahaba added, still staring over at Hiro with Kindaichi. “... _I’d totally go for it._ ” 

Issei calmed down a little, reminded by Shigeru himself that Shigeru was unwaveringly hard for men that looked like they wanted to snap him like a twig--which, come to think of it: fits his teammate Kentaro Kyotani pretty well. 

“Either way…” Mattsun stifled a laugh when the bored-looking Kunimi nonchalantly grabbed hold of his boyfriend’s ear and tugged on it harshly to get Kindaichi to stop drooling over Hanamaki too. 

_“Itai itai itai, Nimi’ --let go!”_

Kunimini didn’t let go. 

Issei smirked, continuing. “ _ **Either way...**_ whether you were into him or not:” Mattsun’s smirked dropped on its own. “He’s off the market. He--”

“--Let me guess. Because you fucked him? Since when have you been possessive of your conquests?” Yahaba inquired.

“--No. _God, would you let me finish?!_ I haven’t fucked him," _I want to, but I haven't--_ "He--” 

##  **“What?!?!”**

the table belted in adulterated surprise. 

Matsukawa deadpanned as Oikawa patted his forehead to check his temperature. “You sick and not telling us, Mattsun?!” 

Issei shoved the hand away, looking over his shoulder to make sure Hana hadn’t seen his old high school friends acting like children.

It was **_one thing_** for Hanamaki to be accustomed to his two foolish friends Kuroo and Bokuto by now, but what would Hana think of him he found out his past friends were just as _out-there_?! What would that say about him?

Matsukawa didn’t want to think about that.

“That’s strange, though, right?” Kunimi offered, sipping his apple cider. “He’s cute, and he seems _funny,_ so why haven’t you--” 

Issei crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at Kunimi. “ _Did it ever cross your pea-sized brains that maybe I might not want to fuck my neighbour **because** he’s my neighbour, and I value professionalism?_” 

The table laughed.

“ _Some neighbour…_ ” Yahaba murmured between chortles. He pressed his palms against the table to look at Hanamaki again since he had no boyfriend that could get mad at him for it. “Did you fuck your own Res manager to get roomed up next to him _or what_...?” 

“-- _And no,_ it did not cross our minds.” Iwaizumi responded, matching Issei by crossing his arms as well. Unlike most people, Iwa did not appreciate being called out of his name--even jokingly--so when Matsukawa recalled that fact, he swiftly apologized. 

“Sorry.. y'all are not pea-brained, _it’s just-_ -” Matsukawa could see that lying was not going to get past these guys that know him almost as well as Bokuto and Kuroo do. “--He’s…”

##  _“He’s…?”_

all 5 pressed, poking for an answer. 

“He’s…” Matsukawa rolled his eyes, defeated at last.

“He’s engaged.” 

-

##  **“What?!?!”**

-

“Shut up!” Issei hissed. 

“But he’s younger than us, isn’t he?” Iwa asked. 

“Same age.” Mattsun shrugged.

“Engaged….” Oikawa repeated, looking at his own empty ring finger.

 _“Engaged?_ Ew.” Shigeru added, scrunching his face in disgust as if Issei had just said that Hanamaki kissed spiders for a living. 

“Wow… **_so that explains why you haven’t slept with him_ ** **.** ” Kunimi wrapped his hands around his warm apple cider. Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Yahaba and Kindaichi nodded at Akira in agreeance. 

Mattsun was just about to snap at his old friends for acting like he was some kind of whore that couldn't exist on this earth without sex... when one of his favourite sounds greeted his ear from the left. 

“Yo, Neighbz!” Takahiro practically glided over, smiling as he stepped up to the table, right next to where Mattsun is sitting on the high chair. He immediately slung his jacket on top of Mattsun’s behind the seat.

Mattsun relished in the energy the man brought over. “Oh, Hey, Hiro.” 

“Sorry I’m late. Kenma wanted help with his date with Kuro tonight, and-- _Dude!_ **No way!** I wore this shirt for shits and giggles but no one gave me the ugly Christmas sweater memo, I look like a jackass now !” 

“You don’t,” Mattsun stated seriously. “It’s just something we do, and everyone is leaving soon anyway.” Mattsun stared a bit too long into the Pinkie’s eyes before continuing. “You look nice. No worries.” 

“Thanks man.” Hanamaki gave Issei a dazzling smile, patting him on the back and then resting his elbow on the middle blocker’s shoulder.

Matsukawa stared up at the Pinkie’s side profile, admiring Hiro’s strong jaw from this position. 

_He is so hot……_ Mattsun thought. _He couldn’t help but imagine Hana in the first lingerie set he’d tried on earlier that day... that red slip dress that really accentuated the curves in his ba…_

“Oi. You awake? You gonna introduce me to your friends or what?”

Issei shook his head to clear his explicit thoughts, being pulled out of his memories from the changeroom embarrassingly. 

“Uh, yeah. Sorry. Um. Makki, these are my friends from high school that I told you about.” He gestured around the table one by one, “My kouhai’s; _Kunimi Akira_ , his boyfriend _Yuutaro Kindaichi_ …. Single boy that is on the market for a personal dog; _Yahaba Shigeru_ over there, and then _Iwaizumi Hajime_ and his _twink_ \-- _ **I mean,**_ his **boyfriend;** Oikawa Toru. You saw them all in that one picture at my place.”

“Hey!” exclaimed Oikawa and Shigeru at their introductions.

 _“Sick kouhai’s …_ 🙄” mumbled Akira. "They used to put me on duty to babysit you, Mattsun."

Hanamaki smiled brightly at all of them nonetheless. “Hey! Nice to meet you guys! Thanks a lot for letting me crash your high school thing. I’m severely in need of friends right now and Neighbz here,” Hanamaki effectively held one of Mattsun’s biceps and Oikawa’s eyes followed the flirtatious movement, “—he’s the only one I got right now.” 

“I see…” Toru smiled, eyes darting up to see how Matsukawa practically beamed under the touch. “Glad to meet you, too.” Toru flashed a pretty smile. 

* * *

*******

##  _“So....Hana...”_

About two hours later, long after Mad Dog and Yahaba had left on their date hand-in-hand, and KinKuni had left back to the hotel hand-in-hand, Matsu | Hana and IwaOi were still occupying the fuckboys’ table at Uni Brunchette. Every single one of Issei’s friends had been completely won over by Hanamaki’s charisma tonight, liking him instantly. How could they not when he was practically the missing piece to Mattsun’s personality; the two of them fitting into the group as one as if they had all known each other in high school all this time? Matsu | Hana told stories of their 3-months together as if they've known each other forever: even finishing each other's sentences at times. They told the group about the monster truck rally conventions they attended, as well as their stupid audition tape they made to send to Jackass in case the show ever returned. They both even had the same unique, crass, meme-formulated humour.

It was almost creepy how much Hanamaki complimented Mattsun’s very being. And it was obvious how much happier, animated, validated, and high-spirited Matsukawa became in the presence of the Pinkie. 

Hiro even did his party trick thing where he correctly guessed all of their favourite alcoholic beverages. Oikawa felt so comfortable that he had no problem by now not waiting for the Pinkie to finish his sentences before jutting in. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt you there.” 

“No- it’s all good,” Hana turned to the setter, having been won over by Issei’s friends, too. “Sup?”

“You mentioned someone coming to pick you up tonight. So, I take it you're taken?” 

“Of course that’s what it means.” mumbled Mattsun under his breath, glaring at Oikawa. He shot a look at Iwaizumi who nodded to him on his tipsy & nosy boyfriend’s behalf.

Oikawa was unaffected though, staring only at Hanamaki curiously. “Well, just how _**taken** _ are you…?” 

Hanamaki chuckled. “Hitting on me right in front of _your boyfriend_ , Oikawa? Tsk tsk.” Hana’s chuckle was joined by IwaOi. Hiro took a sip of his mixed drink. “Nah, but really, I mean; I’m _engaged_ , so,” 

“...and just how **_engaged_** are you?” Oikawa winked. 

Iwa elbowed his boyfriend in the side at that question. Mattsun’s stomach dropped because he and Iwaizumi both knew that Oikawa was asking on Mattsun’s behalf, and it was mortifying all the same.

Before Matsukawa could kill his high school volleyball captain (which would subsequently result in Mattsun's death, too, at the hands of his captain's freakishly strong boyfriend), Issei made an excuse to leave. 

“I’m… going to go get another drink. You guys want anything?” Issei scooted his chair back and stood up. 

Oikawa sat straight happily. “Yes! Can I have a refill of--”

“Nah,” Hajima interrupted his boyfriend in a no-bullshit manner, shaking his head. “No, Oikawa is cut off, remember? We’re good and we’re actually gonna head back to the hotel soon, so...”

Issei nodded, turning to his neighbour for his order. “Hana..? If Michimiya is working bar then she will probably make you that weird drink you like…?” 

“Oh, no thank you, Neighbz. Michimiya is studying with Akaashi late tonight at the library--so she's deffo not here. Thanks though. Hiru should be here soon, so I should prob slow down too.”

“Everyone is leaving me….. You shitholes," muttered Matsukawa jokingly, squeezing Iwa’s shoulder as he left to the bar. Everyone that knew Matty knew that was a joke because Issei had no problem spending a night in a bar alone. He only needed to find a screw for tonight and leave with him anyway, so it didn't matter if Matsukawa had company or not. 

A second later, Iwaizumi excused himself for a final bathroom break, telling Toru they will be leaving when he returns.

Once he was gone, too, Hanamaki answered Oikawa’s question from earlier.

“I get that asked a lot actually. About my fiance? And I always answer the same way: _Hella engaged_.” 

Pleased that Matsukawa’s and Iwaizumi's attempt at changing the subject failed, Oikawa smirked lazily at the pink-haired man in front of him. “Uh huh. So, how often do you guys see each other? You and your fiance?” 

Hana shrugged, opening his mouth to speak and pop a candy cane in there. “Not as often I’d like, but we make it work. You and Iwaizumi are also long distance, too, rig--?” 

Oikawa gave Hanamaki the up and down with his eyes before interrupting again. “--Your eyes light up when you talk about him! Did you know that?”

“Who?” 

Oikawa’s eyes flashed with something unreadable. “Who else would I be talking about..🤨😌?"

Hana’s gaze dropped down to his drink and then back up again, he sucked on the head of the lollipop slowly. “Right. Well, they should, right? I can’t wait to marry him, I--,” 

“--What time is he coming to pick you up?” 

“Um, anytime now!” Quickly biting the head of the candy cane and swallowing--Hana asked a Toru question before he emptied his glass of water glass in his mouth. “Dude. What’s with all the questions, is this an interview?” he refilled his mouth.

## “Your eyes light up when you talk about Mattsun, _too._ ”

Oikawa blurted out unexpectedly (to the Pinkie), chin resting on his fist. 

Hana choked on his water. 

Moving daintily, Oikawa’s eyes flashed with that same unidentifiable expression as he reached for a napkin and handed it to the choking man in front of him. Hanamaki tried to get the water clear from this throat before he looked up at the beautiful man in front of him--almost as pretty as Akaashi. 

_“For what it's worth ....they don’t light up **nearly** as much as they do for your fiance,”_ added the setter, presenting the napkin even closer to the Pinkie. “But they definitely light up... **_here._** ” 

Hanamaki finally took the napkin, dabbing the spit that exited his mouth when he engaged in that coughing fit. “I--” 

“Alright, Shittykawa, our Uber is outside. Let’s go. We still need to talk about that ‘are you my mom’ comment.” Iwaizumi already had a hold of his boyfriend’s jacket, holding it up so he could caringly slip it over his setter’s shoulders. 

Oikawa pouted as the two men returned, standing up and pushing his arms into the holes of his jacket, thanking his boyfriend for the help. 

“I got you another water.” Matsukawa placed a glass of water in front of Takahiro as he set another Guinness in front of his own seat. 

For the first time, Takahiro jumped at the close proximity.

“ _\--Huh?!_ Oh, thank you,” answered Hana, looking up at Issei for a second before he looked away: feeling incredibly weird. 

“It was nice meeting you, Hana!” cheered Oikawa when his hat was on, smiling so widely his eyes were completely shut. 

Iwaizumi stood next to his boyfriend, slipping an arm around his waist. “Yeah. We’re glad Mattsun has met someone that he can help him plan all those messed-up pranks with.” Hajime stated sarcastically. 

Mattsun laughed and Hana could only offer a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Heh...yeah.” 

“We’ll um, we’ll see you next year when we visit Mattsun, yeah?” Iwa added smoothly, signalling that it was their time to go. 

Mattsun sat down next to Hanamaki, sighing loudly. “Yes yes yes, you’ll see him next year. Now, just fucking go already. It’s a surprise that Hana still likes me after meeting you 5 along with Kuroo and Bokuto as it stands. Besides...we know you’re hella eager to remind Oikawa that you’re his _daddy_ , not his mommy-- in the hotel room tonight--so _buh-bye_. You guys can officially say bye to Hana tomorrow when you come pick me up.” 

Iwaizumi glared at Matsukawa for saying something so true vulgar in public, but since this was a bar and he really _**was** _getting impatient, the athletic trainer just sent a tight grin at the two men before using the arm already around his boyfriend’s waist to steer them towards the exit of Uni Brunchette. 

“Bye, Makki🥰!” Oikawa sent a wiggly peace sign over his shoulder when they were a few feet away, startling Takahiro a little bit. 

“Peace!” Hana hollered, but it was fairly quiet: eyes dropping back down to the new water in front of him as IwaOi stepped out into the December night. 

* * *

*******

**Earlier that evening when Matty's high school group had just met up....**

**A few streets over, at Kuroo & Bokuto’s apartment: **

“Bo, Bo, Bo, BOKUTO stop running and look where you’re going. Bo, BO, KOBO, STOP YOU’RE GOING TO BUMP INTO THE--” 

##  **💥 💥 💥 *CRASH!!!!!!!!*💥 💥 💥**

“.....door.” Kuroo winced, closing his eyes so that he didn’t have to witness the awful sight that is his best friend/roommate crashing into the closing elevator door in their lobby. 

All of the bags Bo had been carrying crashed to the floor along with him, various purchases spiralling out of their containers and rolling down the hallway. 

“Damn... _You okay_?” Kuroo asked, stilling his walk and turning to the left so that he still didn't have to look. 

Bokuto bounced back up, standing in a superhero’s pose. _“Never better_ 🤩 _!”_ He exclaimed loudly. “...Can’t say the same for the glass cat you got Kenma, _though.”_

**“WHAT!?!”** Fuming, the Raven finally looked over... and sure enough: the glass cat paperweight that he’d picked up for Kenma at an expensive home furniture store had been separated: body on one side of the hallway and cute glass head being twirled in KoBo's hands.

“Bokuto, you idiot!” Kuroo shook his head, absolutely angered. 

_It wasn’t like Kuroo had the guts to give such a cheesy gift to Kenma, anyway, **oh nooooo**_ **-** -BUT, he might have left it on his table when his Kitten wasn’t looking or something. Kuroo always felt like he wanted to do nice things for Kenma. 

“Sorry, bro!” Bo apologized, dusting off his knees and then retrieving all the things he had dropped.

It was difficult, but Kuroo chose not to keep chastising Kotaro for 2 reasons:

 **1)** he somewhat expected some type of catastrophe to happen when he had brought Bokuto to go shopping with him for his big date tonight: seeing as Akaashi has made his roommate the happiest guy in the world by agreeing to go out with him.

and **2)** Re-read reason number one. 

Just a few hours ago, Bo had tackled Kuroo when he came home late, manhandling Tetsu into a bearhug and proceeding to lift him up in the air like Kuroo weighed nothing--spinning him around until Kuroo felt nauseous. The only explanation for a greeting like that could only be attributed to was Akaashi accepting his feelings, so, Kuroo took a guess… however, the fact that Bokuto kept shouting **“I HAVE A DATE WITH AKGAASHI! I HAVE A DATE WITH AKGAASHI! I HAVE A DATE WITH AKGAASHI! I HAVE A DATE WITH AKGAASHI!”** as he spun him around--really helped Kuroo come to that conclusion as well. 

That being said, Kuroo knew that he wouldn’t be seeing a calm Bo in quite a while--so he had prepared himself. Prepared himself for things like: Bokuto skipping backwards towards an elevator door while talking Kuroo’s ear off about how pretty and nice and amazing Akaashi is, so much so that he doesn't account for a closing elevator door which ultimately made Kotaro go: boom.....beheading Ku's glass cat gift in the process.

Anyway, the point _**is** _that Kuroo was just glad that he was still able to coax KoBo into coming with him to prepare for this important late-night date tonight. Kenma is a night owl so he planned to go over there at 10-ish, and Kuroo still needed all the help he could get: _ **even if** _ Bo was going to act like a maniac the entire duration of it. 

Also,

Let it be known that Kuroo was--undoubtedly--incredibly happy for his friend. He didn’t really know if Bo had what it took to crack the _I-Hate-Men_ code on Akaashi _‘Ice Cold’_ Keiji--but he did it. Kuroo knew that Akaashi was “ **_it_ **” for Bo as soon as they’d laid eyes on the handsome trio when Bo named their kids, so Kuroo was glad that--three months later-- he was finally going to be given his chance to show Keiji how into him he really is.

Kuroo thought they'd be really good together. The Raven had no doubt in his mind that Keiji would be treated like a literal crowned jewel on the first date, and every single date after that..... so he was happy for them. _**Anyone could see that those two were soulmates.**_

...Kuroo and Kenma though……. ** _not so much._**

_And by not so much: that means: Kuroo saw it, but he was only about 35% sure Kenma did. The blonde man was practically emotionless, to be fair, and even though Hanamki has told him that Kenma has never been interested in a guy this long...ever.... Kuroo still didn't know._

_**Nevertheless:** _Kuroo knew how he felt. He had waited longer than three months to get a sign from Kenma... a sign that never came so he just has to be a man and go for it at this point. He was going to ask Kenma to be his boyfriend tonight--no matter what.

When they finally got into their apartment, the two men set down all their bags and Bokuto began babbling again: asking over and over where he could take Akaashi tomorrow to make him fall in love with him. _Of course,_ Kuroo had given his friend dozens of ideas, as did Mattsun in the group chat: but Bo wasn’t having any of it. Naturally--much like Kuro | Ken's first date--Bokuto needed this date to be _legendary_ for his Belle, so their regular suggestions just wouldn'tt cut it.

“Kuroo…. Help me! You got Kenma to say yes to your date after rejecting you 12 times, so how did you come up with such a good date at that virtual reality place that made him fall in love with you???” 

_**“--**_ ** _ **I w** as not_ ** \--😡” Kuroo blew out a long breath, trying not to throw a candle at his Owl. “I was **not** rejected _12 times._ Bokuto. 😡. I was rejected thrice, okay? _Three painful times_ ….So let’s get that straight first. ........ And as for the date; I just thought about what Kenma likes and what would make him happy, then planned something around that. So, think. I know that’s hard for you... but--” 

_“--Hey!”_

“Joking, dear roomie :)” 

Bokuto started smiling again, nothing was able to wipe the smile off his face for longer than a millisecond.

“Okay. Well, Akaashi likes: books, and manga, and school, and cleaning, and anime, and chill music, and gourmet food--” 

_“Okay, **there!”**_

Bokuto looked around the building as if something was about to fall on them. “Where?!” 

Kuroo sighed. “Nooo.. I mean: there. The gourmet food thing. Why not bring him to that new gourmet restaurant that just opened that he talked about on that one movie night? The super fancy one?” 

“Oooo….” Bokuto cooed, jumping up and down. The Owl knew _**exactly**_ which place Kuroo is referring to only because his Belle had mentioned it. “Akaashi would love that!!!” He immediately whipped out his phone to make online reservations for tomorrow.

Ku nodded. “Yeah, he woul--”

Bokuto whimpered loudly at what he saw on his phone. “--NO! BUT THEY’RE ALL BOOKED UP FOR THE NEXT YEAR! LOOK, CELEBRITIES ARE IN THE PROMO PICS! _**THEY GO THERE!**_ THE NEXT AVAILABLE RESO IS DECEMBER 2022! BUT.... B-BUT KAASHI SAID PICK HIM UP **TOMORROW AT 8! THAT'S NOWHERE NEAR 2022**!” 

Uh oh........

Emo-Mode loading..... 30%.......40%......5--

“Whoa wait, Bo! Hey. Hey, buddy. _Breathe through your nose._ Listen. You can just choose somehwere else, or--"

"No! I have to take him THERE! It's the only place that will impress him I--"

"Okay!!!! Gotcha. Well, listen, you said it's all booked right? Well, **so was the VR place that I took Kenma.** ” 

Halting at 70% Emo Mode.... Bo stilled.

## “Huh?🦉🥺🥺🥺”

Kuroo spoke quickly. “The VR--Virtual Reality place that I took Kenma on our first date was also booked completely, too, KoBo. but I found a way. I got creative. Maybe it's a sign of passage to have the best day ever! if you refuse change the restaurant, then you’re gonna have to do the same thing...” 

Bokuto frowned, thinking hard. Steam practically radiated out of his skull as he thought about how he’d get reservations at one of the most upscale restaurants in all of Tokyo.

Then, it hit him. 

“--They don’t close for another hour. **I’ll go down there right now and _beg_!**” 

“You’ll-- _what??_ ” Kuroo asked incredulously, eyes following Bokuto as he ran to the front to pull his shoes back on. 

“KoBo, that’s not what I meant when I--!” 

##  ***Door Slam*🚪 💥**

Kuroo sighed. 

* * *

After looking at the shut door for a while, Tetsu continued unpacking his things for tomorrow, carefully packing for his overnight date night at Kenma's place in a bit: making sure not to bring anything overly romantic because he knew the blonde would hate that. Kuroo spent an hour or two preparing, and then another hour or two re-doing what he had prepared (because it wasn’t good enough the first time); before he was fully satisfied. 

When it was almost time to head over and Kuroo felt nerves take over every part of him, he really thought over his predicament. 

If you had asked Kuroo 4 months ago if he thought he would be spending this Friday evening-- ~~_ANY Friday evening, for that matter_~~ \--cutting up fruit and melting chocolate so that he could make an easily accessible platter to feed it to a ridiculously amazing guy that he likes--ONE THAT HE HAS **YET** TO SLEEP WITH--he would have told you to _get the fuck away from him, psycho._ ' Because this was all too UNEXPECTED.

 **Here Kuroo was, hands trembling as he cut up the last of the pineapple he’d bought for Kenma--** Kenma: a man he hasn’t even stuck his dick inside, but a man who makes him deliriously happy, nonetheless **\--and he wasn't completely disgusted with himself.**

Avtually, being a simp for Kenma felt.... right.

## Different, but right.

Kuroo had found someone that turned his entire life on its head. Someone that he wanted to cherish, and spoil, and kiss, and bring home to his family and not just lie about it... He found someone that he **……...** he couldn’t say it-- 

No. He **can’t** say it.

Not this early. 

Even though Kuroo Tetsuro has come to terms with the fact that his scale-breaker has reignited all of the insecurities that he once had from that first time he’d been rejected by his crush in middle school: Kuroo also felt as though he owed a lot to Kenma. For getting him in touch with the sensitive side of him again: the one that forgot about rating people because the only rating that mattered was the one Kuroo was to Kenma. It only mattered how Kenma saw him, and no one else. 

## And that's why, **for the first time:**

Even when, (four hours after the Owl had originally left)--Bokuto stumbled back into the apartment; joyously claiming that he convinced the owner to reserve him & Akaashi a table tomorrow at 8.... if only he (only?!) gave his free labour there for a month, **Kuroo didn't judge.**

Kuroo couldn’t judge.

Not when he knew from first-hand experience how much falling for someone could change a person.

He could tell by much three pretty boys have changed the epistemology of him and his friends. They weren’t even themselves anymore. 

However, 

When Kuroo really thought about it: he would never return to his old self--not even if he wanted to--because that meant **returning to a time when Kenma wasn't in his life:** wasn't by his side.

and...

And Kuroo never wanted to live through a time like that, again. 


	15. EPISODE 12 Marathon 2/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marathon Part 2/3! Please don't miss part 1<3 xoxo

————————————theme song & credits————————————

**EPISODE 13**

Part 2 of this ** 3-PART MARATHON!**

* * *

**Back at the Uni Brunchette with a Questionable Matsu|Hana:**

_“Nuther…..gimme s’nuther one, Issiii…”_

Hanamaki Takahiro’s peach-coloured eyes were incredibly out of focus when he lunged for Issei's shot glass. Mattsun pulled his own empty shot glass away from his drunk Neighbour just in time. 

“ _Sorry, Makki…_..” he warned. 

“S'nuther!!!” Yelled the Pinkie, eyes wide in a pout that Matsukawa wished he didn’t find cute. “S’nuther!” 

“No.” 

“Yaz,” 

“No—“

“Issi please…? 🥺” **_Hanamaki_ ** , handsome, cute, and sexy **_Hanamaki_ ** leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Matsukawa’s broad shoulders. He embraced the tatted man, letting his head lull onto the crook of Issei’s neck.

 _Too cute,_ Issei thought glumly, trying to settle his increasing heart rate.. _This is exactly what Hana did to convince him to drink more the last time..._ **he can’t give in again.**

But, like, _who can say no to him like this?!_

“Okay, **here**.” Issei relented, sliding a transparent shot over to Hana. 

Smiling, Makki backed out of Issei’s neck and retrieved the shot glass--in the process, splashing half of it on the ground due to his shaky hand. 

Hanamaki held up the shot glass before he downed it. “Here’s tuh—!!” he began to make a toast. “Here’s to…. bein married….” Makki shook his head, correcting himself. “No, no, here’s tuh...bein...n-gajed...not you, **me** …. n-gajed…. here’s tuh bein n-gajed to a ghost,” Hana snorted at his own joke. “Get it? I say to ahhh ghost, cause I never…. s’never see my financay.” 

With more force than necessary, the Pinkie slammed his shot glass into the beer Issei held in his hand, spilling the rest of it on the table so that none of it even made it into Hana’s mouth. 

Issei didn’t mind though. He had been feeding Hanamaki shots filled with water for the past 30 minutes to slow him down anyway. His _‘no more alcohol’ thing was merely a_ skit until Makki pleaded. Him saying 'no' only served to trick Hiro into thinking that they were real shots.. The real shots…. Issei vowed to keep away from him. 

So far, Takahiro has been none the wiser. 

##  _You see…._

Shortly after Oikawa and Iwaizumi had taken their leave: Hanamaki had left to get his bags at home too... until he received yet another message from his husband detailing how and why he can’t come see him this weekend anymore: due to work endeavours.

Needless to say, this news absolutely **crushed** Hanamaki...considering he had pushed his Christmas flight home a week so that he could spend time with Hirugami before the holidays. 

This news meant that Hana and Hirugami would not be exchanging their Christmas gifts in person….and that meant that it would be a whole other month until the fiance's would be able to see each other again.

Mattsun finished his exams last week and planned to go home with his high school crew tomorrow. Akaashi and Kenma had flights booked for Monday, and Bo and Kuroo were leaving the day after Ken & Kash. This meant Hana would be alone in the city for an entire week because he had thought he’d spend that time with his fiancé, who is now being flown out to the opposite end of Japan for some work. 

When Hanamaki received the fateful text— he had been alone but he didn’t say anything to anyone, just walked to a bar close to their apartment to drown his sorrows with alcohol consumption. He needed to distract himself from how shitty he felt.

Left alone at the bar, Issei had really thought that Makki was happily enjoying his time with Hirugami, so he drowned _ **his own**_ lowkey-sorrows in hitting on these two DTF DILFs that Issei had always dreamed about screwing--in theory. 

A moment ago, Issei almost had them asking him to come home with him, too, _when_ … out of the corner of his eye: Issei had spotted a very familiar Pinkie stumbling back into Uni Brunchette.

\- 

And that’s how the two men ended up sitting at the bar on the stools, Dilfs unfortunately forgotten.

Issei tried his best to slow his neighbour's drinking down, but Hanamaki was a grown-ass man, and there was only so much strong-arming Mattsun could do to stop Makki from throwing back at least three more mixed drinks after who-knows-how-many he had at the other bar. 

When he did deem it too much, however _(a.k.a when Hiro started calling him ‘Issi’),_ Mattsun discreetly alerted the bartender to cut Hana—and by extension, _him_ — off, only giving them shots filled with water instead. 

Between this bartender and Michimiya, Issei honestly thought that the staff of Uni Brunchette deserved a raise. 

_“Issi,”_ Makki croaked, head spinning. 

“Ya? You good?” Mattsun held Makki’s forearm to stabilize him when as he stood up from his bar stool. Makki stood, then closed the distance between the two of them again to rest his head on the middle blockers chest. 

_“M’ not gud,”_ Hana groaned into Issei’s shirt. 

_Soft ,_

_Issei felt himself melt inside._

“Want me to call Kenma or Akaashi? Have them come get you?” asked Mattsun hopefully.

It’s not that he wanted to offload his neighbour onto his roommates… of course not. It’s just that, a part of Mattsun still wanted--no, _**NEEDED**_ \-- to go home with the hot DILFs in order to satiate all the built-up lust for his neighbour that’s been brewing ever since Hana first stepped out of the changeroom. He was still no fucking horny from that, and so he wanted--no, _**NEEDED**_ \-- some sweet release.

 _“S’no,”_ 🥺 murmured Hana, “They have big dates t’night…. t’morrow….sleep let them,” the Pinkie swayed a little too far to the right as he spoke slowly.

 _That’s right._ Issei had forgotten about KuroKen’s big date tonight. _Kuroo was going to ask Kenma to be his boyfriend tonight! But, as for Akaashi, his date with Bo wasn't until tomorrow, so Mattsun didn't see why Akaashi couldn't --_

 _"Timberrrrrrr! 🔪_ 🌳" Makki slurred when his insistent swaying made him tip towards the ground.

Quickly, Matsukawa put down his drink and steadied Hanamaki with one arm, prohibiting him from tipping over. Issei stepped down from his seat, then didn’t hesitate for a second to reach down and lift Hanamaki on his very seat, Issei standing next to him so that Hana could fully lean on him in the middle of this busy bar. 

“Hey, Hana, maybe you should—“ 

“I miss’im, Issi.” 

Matsukawa tried to ignore how his heart ripped a bit at the sober thoughts spoken aloud. “I know, Makki. I know.... But knowing Hirugami, he misses you, too.” 

“No. I miss’im more than he miss’me…” a heavy frowned weighed the corners of Makki’s gorgeous lips down. 

Issei knew better than to reason with a drunk person, but he wasn’t following and he selfishly wanted to know more. “What do you mean?” 

“I try…..plan dates….FaceTime…..him’busy. He cancel….” Hana looked down. “I know h'job is….difficult hardd….but, will this b’our **marriage..?** ” 

Matsukawa stayed quiet, knowing that was a rhetorical question. 

“S’I knew Gami...before job…..back when he hd'time….for meee...” 

Issei listened, hurt that he could hear the intense pain in Hana’s voice. 

“He cared….bout’me….bac’zen….. he…. would have told his boss to fuck off at leas’once... _bac’zen_ …” Makki tilted his head up, looking up at Matsukawa with wide, curious eyes. “Why doesn’t he tell his boss to fuck off? I would t'll my boss....t'fuckoff....Cant he see...I need'im?. Schoolz really hard, being’way frum fam…mily....iz’really hard. Kenma and Akaashi..... always buzy now….it...’s’hard, Issi….. I feel like...... _I fee'like.... m’losin everyone... that’s close t’me…they’re all…..movin further, further'way_ ….”

In the back of his mind, Matsukawa knew that he should just let a drunk person rant….really, he should.... but he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth anyway. 

##  _“I’m not.”_

he stated earnestly.

##  _“I’m not moving further away, Hiro.”_

Hana answered with a resounding hum, tilting his head in again so that it was resting on Issei’s chest. He nodded there, and Mattsun could feel the movement on his pecs through his sweater.

“S’ya,” Hana answered, closing his eyes and speaking through a smile. “Z'you’re not....moving further ‘way, Neighbzy. M’happy with you.”

## 💘

**Prior to hearing those words, Issei Matsukawa has never known what it felt like to have Cupid’s arrow pierce through his heart before, but he imagined that this must feel a whole lot like this. 💘**

Issei wanted to say something else to the drunk man: **_something dangerous:_ ** but he stopped himself, holding back. He settled on just motioning for the bartender to bring them another two waters and then feeding Hiro it slowly when it came, legitimately tipping Hiro’s head back and watching the water go down the shorter male’s throat in periodicals. Takahiro gulped down the drink and continued blabbering.

“Shittykawa….eyes….mine….s’ _light up….talk’you…”_

_“Huh? Shittykawa?’_

Hana nodded. “Shittykawa. Flirt’me.”

“Shittykawa flirted with you?” 

“No! Shittykawa….flirt lik’me,” 

“Shittykawa's a flirt like you?” 

Makki nodded. “But h'zaid....m'diffrnt,"

"Huh? Shittykawa said you're different? I don't get it."

"N' he said.... Shittykawa zaid...." Hana looked like he was about to pass out.

Issei fed him another sip of water, talking to Hiro so that he could stay awake. Plus, he was really worried about what Oikawa could have told his friend when he and Iwa left them alone a few times. “Makki. Oi, Hiro. Eyes open. _Good._ .... Shittykawa...said...what?” 

Hana nodded. “‘Egg’zactly! Said waaaah?” 

Matsukawa couldn't hold back a chuckle, forgetting this in favour of just trying to keep Hanamaki awake.

*******

After Hiro had glumly ranted about the sadness of his long distance relationship for another 45 minutes and successfully downed four full glasses of water, Matsukawa noticed Hiro began to gain his wits back a little. _A tiny bit._

“Mma’go’home now,” croaked Hana softly, motioning to stand. “Theres Ice’cream...home,” This time: he didn't sway at all. “Youuuuuuuuu... **stay,** Neighbzie.’” the Pinkie dragged some of the syllabus in his words. “Find someone...t’fuck. I…..uber.”

Frowning, Matsukawa stared at his friend, thinking it over. 

**On the one hand:** Hanamaki seemed much better after he’d had a bunch of water. The night is still young and Makki seems perfectly capable of calling himself an Uber right now (judging by what Issei can see him doing on his phone over Hiro’s shoulder). Last year, Mattsun has walked home alone plenty of times: even when he was more intoxicated than Hiro, and he'd been fine. Their apartment was only a 3-4 minute Uber ride from here, so Issei didnt have to worry about that: and even though Akaashi was spending the night at the library and Kenma and Kuroo were on their date night, at least someone would be home for Hana when he got back. 

**But on the other hand….**

“Dont!” Hanamaki ~~cutely~~ menacingly glared at Issei-- _cross-eyed_ \--as he pointed a finger in his face. “Don’t yo’ **dareeeeee** treat **me** like sum’kinda little gurl, NEIGHBZIE. I’m six’fee tall. I have a dick. I’ll b’fine. You’stay. Fuck sumn hawt dick…. pleaze…your sex’life sux balls ri'now... _hold da balls part, no cap_...” 

## 😒😒

Well, Hana was right about that…😒😒 seeing as, Bokuto, Kuroo, and Makki were well aware of the Sloth's stupid problem he’d been having with not being able to bust a nut during sex... ~~Even his pizza delivery guy is starting to get worried~~.

Of course, only Matsukawa _**really**_ knew why that was. THAT'S WHY HE WAS TRYING TO FUCK THOSE TWO HOT DILFS TYVM 😤.

. 

Either way, Takahiro was absolutely right. The Pinkie was not some delicate little girl, he could get home by himself just like Issei, Kuroo, and Bokuto would and have done for the past two years. He did not seem like an easy target whatsoever, and he definitely was capable of making it back to his place okay especially if Mattsun texted Kenma to meet him downstairs. On top of that--Hanamaki was now regaining his motor skills due to the glasses of water, looking much more stable than he was an hour ago on his two long legs. Okay, good.

Issei smirked at the Pinkie and nodded, and, **_as if they’ve been summoned by the sex Gods themselves,_ ** Issei was tapped on his shoulder at the same time. 

Matsu|Hana both looked at who tapped Issei, and they were greeted with **none other than** the two hot DILFs that had been all over Issei before Hana stumbled back in, drunk. 

The DILFs that looked like they had just walked out of a FIFA World Cup Magazine whispered something flirtaciously into Issei’s ear, something that definitely promised the middle blocker a night of strong orgasms. Maybe he just needed two men to get off, not just one. Man, was he more than willing to find out. 

_Oh hell yes._

“M’Uberz'here!” Hanamaki called, his cute puffy jacket and scarf suddenly back on.

“Have fun, m’kay?” then he winked at Matsukawa and turned to leave. “Oh, wait!” Hana turned back and jogged over, secretly inserting something in Matsukawa’s pocket but he disguised it by leaning in to kiss him on the cheek quickly. 

“Be saferz,” Hana warned, leaving for the Uni Brunchette exit slowly because he was still mega-dizzy.

Issei tried to ignore the way his heart lurched at that kiss on the cheek when he felt for his pocket. He felt a few wrappers in there that were unmistakably condoms. The Sloth smirked to himself, thanking Hiro silently because he had actually forgotten to bring some with him tonight.

_Makki was truly the best._

Matty turned all his attention back to the DILFs, **ready.**

“We’re parked just out back. Still coming home with us, babe?” asked DILF #1 that eerily resembled an older Christiano Ronaldo. 

_“Want you_ ,” whispered DILF #2 in his ear, this one reassembling a current-aged David Beckham.

Issei felt his dick give an excited Twitch. Just thinking about how well these older men would get him off tonight made him hype. They were going to make it their mission to get Issei to cum as many times as humanly possible in 10 different ways that they know, and Issei was all for that, _of course._ _Maybe that was his problem all along: he kept fucking guys his age that Issei always knew more about it sex than them: so perhaps all he needs is to bed men that know even more than he does so he can be the one being taken care of and pleasured._ **Why didn’t he think of it before?!?!**

Not to mention, these two men were devastatingly good-looking and they waited for him!!! _God. Issei counted his blessings._

The middle blocker was, quite possibly, in for the best night of his sex life and he knew it. 

“Paid your tab.” added DILF #1. 

“Ready?” asked DILF #2, slipping his strong, veiny hand in Mattsun’s. 

Matsukawa looked at both of them, getting more and more turned on...🥵

“Hell yes.” he nodded. “Ready!”

He allowed the men to lead the way out the back doors.

*******

_“K-Y-N-T….K-Y-N…._ **_is that a T…?_ ** **”**

On the streets outside of Uni Brunchette, a bundled up Pinkie squinted his eyes as he looked for his Uber among the dozens of other fuzzy cars that looked just like it. His eyes flicked to and from the license plate number displayed on his screen, trying to match it with an actual car that’s on this busy road.

Makki had been looking for a while now, and he had just received an urgent message from his driver saying that he has been waiting and will leave in one more minute. 

“UGGGGHHHHH, _**Bitchhat!**_ ” growled Hanamaki to no one in particular. He squinted harder as if that would make a difference--instead, all that did was make him look like a crazy drunk to all the drivers around. He even heard some of them lock his doors when he approached.

Takahiro squinted his eyes tighter, walking around until, finally: he spotted his Uber! Racing over to the vehicle placed precariously (halfway in traffic), Hana crossed the street and clutched the handle, only to see another het couple reaching for the same door handle on the other side of the car.

“Hey, thiz's'my Uber.” Hana snapped at them, _annoyed._

The driver rolled down his window and waved at Hiro from inside his door. “No, no. I cancel. I cancel you! Close door now!” 

_“What?!”_ intoxicated, feisty Makki took over, pushing the usually bubbly Makki far far far away. He became angry enough to stop slurring his words somewhat. “ **You can’t do that!** I’m here!” 

“No, no! Close door!” Yelled the driver, “I cancel! You take long and I text!” 

“I don’t give a flying **_fuck_ **if you texted me, I’m drunk and I juss'spent 20 minutes looking for'y! I'm tired n' you are my Uber!” 

“Hey man, look. This guy seems really drunk,” reasoned the man on the other side of the car, politely ushering in his significant other with dark hair and glasses. He spoke meditatively to the Uber driver. “We can just drop him off along the way. We’ll pay for it. No worries." When the Uber driver refused, the man added, "We’re all just tryna get home, and it’s cold. Charge it all to the Tanaka’s.” 

The seemingly quiet girl with glasses nodded kindly.

Unfortunately, this driver was having none of that. “No! No! No! No! He swear me, so he no come! No, no!” 

“Ugggh I didn't swear at you! I swore at the situation you pu’me innn!” 

When the Uber driver started yelling back, and the guy known as Tanaka added to it, trying to mitigate the situation and doing a bad job at it: somewhere in the midst of the noise, Hana winced due to his yelling and the Uber driver’s yelling and Tanaka's yelling.... all of it making him dizzier than ever.

All at once, all of the alcohol he had been drinking tonight hit him hard, so that he stumbled a bit to the right. The force of his nausea definitely made it so that he was about to pass out and fall straight back into traffic. 

“Hey, are you okay--?” The female Tanaka asked when Hanamaki strangely stopped yelling. She was the first to clue in on what was about to happen as Hiro felt his consciousness slip away. Unfortunately, male Tanaka was on the other side of the car and was much too far to do anything about it either, so they both gasped!

Down the road, a motorcyclist was going at top speed in Hiro’s direction, about to scarcely miss Hiro--but he'd only miss him if Makki was going to stand in place, that is. He'd only miss him if only Makki _**wasn’t**_ about to completely faint backwards, a second away from colliding right into that motorcycle.

The Tanaka’s both lunged forward, trying to catch Hanamaki’s falling hand but of course, they were too late, and Makki fell backwards,

##  _but caught in the knick of time by another strong, male hand._

“Whoa.” Mattsun exclaimed as he pulled Makki to the right. He did this just as that motorcycle skidded right by them, the rider swearing at them to get the fuck off the road. It was so close that Mattsun had to pull in his foot at the last second to avoid his toes being crushed by the wheels of the motorcycle. 

**Hanamaki passed out in Matsukawa’s arms and Issei held all of his dead bodyweight with one strong arm, pressing the shorter male flush against his body to keep him from falling back into traffic again.**

“Oh thank goodness,” cried the female-Tanaka from inside the vehicle, a hand splayed across her heart.

“Oi, Hiro.” Mattsun used one hand to pinch Hanamaki’s face from his chin area, shaking the Pinkie’s head. 

_No answer,_ but he was breathing softly. Matsukawa seemed chill right now, but realistically he could have dropped to his knees due to how thankful he was to have made it here in time.

Issei used one tatted arm to hold up Makki as he poked his head into the car again. 

The driver was already going off. “No, no, sorry! He too drunk! He drunk and he swear me! I no take him home: no.” 

_Is this guy serious?_ Issei thought to himself. _Did he not just see that his friend was hairs away from being killed by a motorist in front of his car???_

That aside, Matsukawa knew that he had to validate his choice to choose Hiro over everyone, including himself tonight: so he put his annoyance for the driver aside and did what he needed to do to get Makki back home safe and sound. 

“Hey, I know. I’m really sorry for any trouble my friend might have caused... but I’ll give you $11,000 right now if you can just drive us up the street. See that building there with the University logo on it? We live right there.” And just in case he thought he was lying, Mattsun dug in his pocket and offered the yen up to the driver, holding it between his index and middle finger. 

The driver stared at it, looking at the building, and then took it without another word. 

Tanaka quickly moved to the front seat to make space for the two men in the back, one literally knocked out cold.

"Thank you so much, man,” Matsukawa muttered, talking to all three passengers.

The female Tanaka scooted over as far as she could, helping Mattsun situate Makki in the middle of them and then securing a seatbelt around Hanamaki.

On the short drive, the woman gave Mattsun a ton of advice on how to help Hana tonight. She seemed to have gone through something similar--and so when the male Tanaka had mentioned that his wife Kiyoko has nursed him and his best friend Nishinoya back to health more times than he can count, Matsukawa was not surprised. 

When they pulled up to their residence building, Issei thanked the three people again, apologizing profusely on Hiro’s behalf a few more times as well. 

It wasn’t until Mattsun was in front of Akaashi, Kenma and Hanamaki’s door knocking for the 5th time, that Hana slowly but surely woke up. 

“Hmmmm…..theyrefucking,” he croaked, head still nuzzled sweetly on Mattsun’s chest. 

“Huh?” Issei inquired. 

“Theyre…..fking…Kroo n’ _my’cat.....I can hear’emmmmmm…._ ” 

“What? Forreal?” Having been too occupied with the serach for Hanamaki’s keys in one of his pockets (to no avail), Matsukawa stopped all movement so that he could listen closely in their empty hallway. 

Sure enough, when he pressed his ear against the door, Issei could hear the soft but wanton mewels of Kenma Kozume and the assiduous grunts of Kuroo Tetsuro-- he could even hear the creaking of a bed. A bed that was probably going to break soon, actually. 

“Ugh,” shuddered Mattsun, pulling his ear away in disgust. 

“Don’t…...bring’me’dere,” Hanamaki said seriously--talking casually as if he had no idea he’d just been passed out for the last 15 minutes ( ~~he really didn’t~~ ).

“Not becuz itz'gross..." Hana explained, "Kenma'll stop…..” Hana winced as he felt nauseous, “he’ll ztop fucking Kuroo...if I cm'back now….. kaashi n' me….want’im.... t’…..get...laid…..” 

Understanding completely, Mattsun nodded.

_So **that** must be why Keiji was spending the night at the library. _

Kenma would **definitely** stop if the two of them entered now, and, although Matsukawa considered Kenma a friend--it was actually the fact that **Kuroo** was in there fucking the man of his dreams that stopped Mattsun. Mattsuhn liked to tease a lot about being a cockblocker, but truth be told Matty stopped that _the moment_ Kuroo told him and Bokuto that he was going to ask Kenma to be his boyfriend tonight.

## Mattsun would **_never_** ruin such an important night for him.

This is Ku’s first lay in three months, and one with his first boyfriend at that ( _because Kenma obviously said yes, right?_ ) so that meant that not letting them screw all night was— _even in these circumstances_ —nothing short of the worst thing a friend could EVER do. 

Coming to terms with it, Matty agreed to not interrupt them. However— he still hesitated when he realized what options that left him with for the rest of the night. 

“Take me….t’your’plce.” Stated Hana, not giving Matsukawa any time to think of any other option because the Pinkie in his arms was falling in and out of consciousness again. 

Makki had the wits enough to grab onto Issei tightly enough before his eyes drooped shut, and Issei couldn’t help the tiny burst of elation he felt when Hana held him like this. His heart did a content backflip. 

Worried about his way-too-drunk friend, Matsukawa did what he had to do by bending at the knees, hooking his right tatted arm under the backs on Hanamaki’s knees and swooping up his friend in his arms. 

The Pinkie made a cute noise of surprise, head lolling onto Issei’s chest again like a cub. Issei’s heart did a backflip again. 

When they entered Matsukawa’s apartment, the middle blocker was using his foot to open his fridge, strategically shifting Hana in his arm so he could lean down to get a cold water bottle--when Hana stirred again. 

_“Mmmorny,”_ whispered Makki, half awake.

Issei kicked his fridge the door closed. “Hm?”

He tried to ignore the voice in his head that told him that he could absolutely just set Makki down on the couch or in his bed because a stronger voice told him to hold Makki as long as possible. 

J _ust a little longer._ said the voice in his head…. _You’ll probably never get a chance like this again._

“ _Mmmorny,_ ” repeated the Pinkie, his eyes still closed. 

Matsukawa adjusted Hana in his arms, stepping back in his silent apartment so that he was leaning back on his kitchen counter. He peered down at his funny, amazing friend; a whole grown ass, 6-foot tall little shit: but somehow finding him looking like the sweetest thing in the world at this very moment. 

“Morning?” Issei tried to interpret.

Hana shook his head. “Mmmorny… Mmmorny… M’horny….” he yawned.

Hearing him loud and clear the third time, Issei stilled, thoughts failing him.

“ _M’so fucking’orny…_ **Issi..** ” 

fu--

And then Makki was lifting a hand and running it up the centre of Matsukawa’s front, sweeping a finger up and then down arousingly between his pecs. 

_“Want…..”_ Hana’s eyes remained closed. “Wnna’be fucked….. _lik’Kenma_ ….”

Dick beginning to throb uncontrollably, Issei gulped. Here he was: standing with the man he finds the most attractive to in this world, **alone** in his apartment: listening to said man say that he wants to be fucked. 

It had been only been a few hours ago that Issei had spent the better part of the day drooling over the same man in lace lingerie. 

He could look but he couldn't touch….. _until now._

Of course, Issei had just turned down a night with two freaky (in a good way) DILFs that would have likely taken turns riding him until sunset--stupidly trading a night like that to take care of his drunk neighbour instead.

That might have been the morally correct choice, might have been the choice that would make his grade school Religion teacher proud--but it was also the choice that left him **_impossibly_** horny. Issei wanted--no, _**NEEDED**_ \-- to go home with those DILFs in order to release all of the build-up tension he had accumulated from watching _the man-he-can-never-fuck-but-wants-to-more-than anything_ , show off his amazing body in barely-there attire. He needed a night with those DILFs like a dolphin needed water. 

##  **But look at him now.**

Here he was, with the same man that _he-can-never-fuck-but-wants-to-more-than anything._ The same man that caused his testosterone spike in the first place...the same man **begging to dicked down right now in his apartment…Alone.**

“M’s’horny, mmmm…” Hana moaned, moving his hand off Issei’s chest to grip his semi through his jeans. 

Matsukawa almost dropped Hiro when he looked down at the blging dick print in his neighbour's pants. The shape of Hiro's dick print looked perfect and way too close for Issei to control himself. 

_In Issei’s mind... he immediately pictured himself acting on his built-up frustration by leaning down and capturing the Pinkie’s lips in a heated, sloppy, kiss--devouring the mouth he thinks about when he’s getting himself off. He thought about carrying Hana to his room and them falling down on the bed, both frantically stripping off their own clothes and reuniting in another passionate kiss. In his mind they were grinding and licking and touching like the world was about to end. He pictured himself sliding into Makki's hole with ease, bottoming out and capturing Hana in another heated kiss the entire time Issei slowly thrusted into the Pinkie’s tight heat… In his mind Issei was unable to look away from Makki’s face as they fucked because he’s absolutely beautiful and stunning and…..and....._

_And…._

## 💍  
  
_And engaged._

Shutting his eyes and willing his raging hard-on to let his brain THINK for just a minute--Issei set his eyes far away on something else-- _ **anything else**_ \--so that he wouldn't act on the fact that his smoking hot neighbour was stroking himself in his arms right now. 

Determined but doing the hardest thing he’s ever done in his entire life--Matsukawa walked straight to his bedroom with Hana in his arms, Hana making wanton moans all the while. The middle blocker pushed his blankets over so that he could set Hiro down in the centre of his bed. 

When he successfully did that and Mattsun was about to reach over to tuck him in--Hanamaki snaked two lazy arms around the Sloth’s neck, pulling him in close so that their noses were touching.

“--Oof!” exclaimed Mattsun as he was being pulled in by the strong man underneath him. He got impossibly harder in his pants.

Hanamaki’s lidded eyes looked into Issei’s with so much desire behind them that Issei had to begin praying for the strength to hold back. 

“M’’orny,” Hiro repeated once more, tracing every inch of the brunette’s face with his eyes, landing directly on Mattsun’s lips. 

They stayed just like that--Issei trying to control himself and Makki trying to break that control--and after a few more seconds… Issei grounded himself, lifting one of his hands.

He carefully brushed the pink bangs away from Hanamaki’s face, exposing more of his beautiful face to the middle blocker.

Issei took a second to memorize every inch of his drunk neighbour’s face--knowing that this would be the only time he would be able to look at him this close. Despite how _amazing_ the feeling of being wanted by Takahiro made Issei feel, Matsukawa _**knew**_ from the Pinkie's unfocused expression that he wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow. He _**knew**_ that Hanamaki got horny when he reached a certain level of intoxication, and he even _**knew**_ that Hana had tried to do this with Akaashi and Kenma before... Issei _**knew**_ that none of this current-want it was real; because he **_knew_** that when Hiro woke up tomorrow...

all he would really want--all he would _**EVER** _want; 

##  _...is named Hirugami Sachirou._

Moving calmly…. Issei used that same hand caressing Hana's bangs to snake it over Hiro's hand on the back of his neck. He softly pried Hiro’s arms off of him for release. Hana let go easily, though visibly upset. 

_"_ 😢 _Issi,_ _mmm'hor--"_

“--I’ll pass that info onto Hirugami,” answered Issei sullenly, whispering onto Hana’s lips. When the Sloth witnessed the soft smile that met the Pinkie’s face as soon as his fiance’s name was mentioned, he brought Makki’s hands down to his lips and kissed them, watching Hiro’s eyes drift closed with a smile on his face. _“Yay,”_ whispered Hana, right before succumbing to sleep...

Getting up, _reluctantly_ \-- Matsukawa finished his task of tucking Makki in under his covers.

He left the room, retrieving that water bottle he got for Makki earlier. He left that and some Tylenol on his bedside table, setting a throw-up bucket next to his bed in reaching distance as well. The tatted man took one last second to fix Hana’s awkward head position so that he wouldn't wake up with a kink in his neck tomorrow. 

It was obvious now that Makki was in a deep sleep, snoring cutely. And it was obvious that Issei had no other reason to watch the Pinkie sleep, other than the one reason he has been denying to himself for long. 

When Makki turned over and spooned one of Issei’s pillows; Mattsun's _heart did another back flip._

He exited his own room, closing the door behind him and resting his body weight on it for a few minutes, just thinking. _Doing a whole lot of thinking._

As Matsukawa shut off all the lights in the apartment and then took home on his couch, he thought about the events of tonight; of the events earlier today; of the events earlier this school year;

and he thought about how the combination of all those events lead him to this moment right now.

He tossed and turned on the couch--not because it was uncomfortable; but because he thought about how this night could have turned out completely differently had he acted on his desires instead of putting his neighbour’s feelings before his own.

No matter how much he wanted to get off tonight, and every single night: he couldn't help but put Hiro first. 

He knew that he'd always do that from now on.

*****

Still tossing and turning an hour later... overcome with a mixture of fatigue, intoxication and unrequited lust ( ~~just lust~~?), before he went to bed, Issei could feel himself working on auto-pilot.

Because he felt like his feelings were too much; everything was just too much; laying on his belly with one eye open, Issei typed out a late-night text to the one person he always-- _for some reason_ \--felt comfortable being completely and utterly vulnerable with:

His heart pounded against his chest.

Mattsun saw the 'read' sign. He felt his stomach twist, imagining the knowing look that the person at the end of the phone would be giving him right now. His stomach twisted in knots, it somewhat matching the piercing in his heart as he continued typing. He thought about the b **eautiful man with the wedding ring** in his bed as he typed some more and pressed send each time; quickly sending before he could stop himself. 

_His heart was pounding against his chest._

And then, he added: speaking from the heart in true _Matsukawa fashion:_

* * *

**Across the city in a nice, dark, hotel room... a shirtless Oikawa Toru stared at the messages, frowning.** Hiding his phone under the pillow so that his athletic trainer-boyfriend that he was spooning didn’t wake up, his face softened when he read the last message. Typing back slowly; almost as if he’d been waiting for this message; Toru pressed send...:

And then, feeling broken when the setter received no answer because the middle blocker had fallen asleep, Oikawa added one more message for his heart-tortured--and rightfully so--childhood friend;

There was only one thing he _could_ say to a man that was in a heart-wrenching situation like this... a _situation that Oikawa knew would end terribly for Mattsun..._ So he said it:

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://shhhlikeme.tumblr.com) :)
> 
> I will only continue this if there is interest, so please comment/leave kudos if you're feeling this story, I really like it.


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